Posts by rskurat

Rude awakening for O2 customers after network runs surprise test of emergency mobile alert system

Artificial Ineptitude

I've got to remember that for future emails & tweets: "asterisk, asterisk, asterisk"

Train operator phlunks phishing test by teasing employees with non-existent COVID bonus

This isn't a crisis of PR, this is a crisis of employee stupidity. I think for the first time in my life I'm on the side of manglement.

Microsoft reveals what a growth mindset does to the letter ‘A’

I can't even

2023 tagline -

Marketing: Because Our Bonuses Depend On It

BOFH: Postman BOFH's Special Delivery Service

Re: Peace and quiet

<don't mention the war!>

'There was no one driving that vehicle': Texas cops suspect Autopilot involved after two men killed in Tesla crash

Re: "more of a super-cruise-control"

You can't argue with the marketing department; they have more pull with the C-suite and are too dumb to understand what you're objecting to.

Scottish National Party members found among list of names signed up to rival Alba Party after website whoopsie

just what we need

"making sure that all parties and campaigns are aware of their responsibilities"

Oh good, another "awareness" campaign. Which color will the ribbon be?

Intel accused of wiretapping because it uses analytics to track keystrokes, mouse movements on its website

Re: How many times?

And their search is unbelievably bad - I can be very specific about what I'm looking for, and that exact text string match is number 8 in the results.

Brexit trade deal advises governments to use Netscape Communicator and SHA-1. Why? It's all in the DNA

seriously?

Brokenshire is a real name? Sounds more like something out of Private Eye.

FYI: Someone wants to launch mobile broadband satellites into space used by scientific craft – and NASA's not happy

Re: Not a problem, so that's all right then?

A scam based in texas?!?? Unpossible!

Gone in 9 seconds: Virgin Orbit's maiden rocket flight went perfectly until it didn't

new 'paradigm' god I hate that word

These are "agile" launches, and they just "pivoted"

BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?

Re: I'd have gone for Risk!!

That's not an invasion, it's a Cooks Tour

Tech won't save you from lockdown disaster: How to manage family and free time while working from home

Re: Catch up with all that stuff you wanted to see

a veritable lark compared to The Plague by Albert Camus

but is it made from real goblins?

What happens when the maintainer of a JS library downloaded 26m times a week goes to prison for killing someone with a motorbike? Core-js just found out

"In a preferred situation, we want to make sure that we’re proactively mitigating issues in advance"

Is that even English?

Captain Caveman rides to the rescue, solves a prickly PowerPoint problem with a magical solution

Re: My word...

Who is Susie Linux and why can't she just ring me up herself?

Samsung cops to data leak after unsolicited '1/1' Find my Mobile push notification

Re: Lost in Translation

yes, but this is corporate communications we're talking about. Lying is their job.

The Register disappears up its own fundament with a Y2K prank to make a BOFH's grinchy heart swell with pride

Had all the carpets removed

BOFH: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and the ransomware struck

Sounds like something from Private Eye's In The Back

Clunk, whirr, buzz, whine. Shared office space can be a riot and sounds like one too

Re: Companies in France

The Chevrolet Nova didn't sell very well in Latin America. I'm sure GM twigged early on, but I don't think they ever re-badged, since The Company Is Never Wrong.

Ding-dong. Who's there? Any marketing outfit willing to pay: Not content with giving cops access to doorbell cams, Ring also touts personal info

malgorithm

perfect: right under Kieren's byline, a Ring ad

BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

Re: Learnings

These ridiculous MBA-isms have nothing to do with communicating, and everything to do with being part of the club. I remember when they couldn't be arsed to figure out affect/effect and so substituted "impact" which was infuriating.

World's richest bloke battles Oz catastro-fire with incredible AU$1m donation (aka load of cheap greenwashing)

sounds like Kieren has been drinking the Kool-Aid

Sometimes shining a light on a nuclear problem just makes things worse

Re: This has sparked a memory

I used P32 once a week and had the usual film badge finger ring with minimal exposure readings for months. Suddenly one month it came up offscale. Turned out I had left the ring for a whole week on the shelf over the waste bin rather than in the drawer under the bench. Big oops, radiation safety was NOT happy with me for a long long time.

Alphabet's 'love rat' legal chief David Drummond ejects after 18 years at web goliath, no golden parachute attached

Re: Or Brooks, "It's good to be the king."

your naïveté is breathtaking

A sprinkling of Star Wars and a dash of Jedi equals a slightly underbaked Rise Of Skywalker

Re: A remake of Episode 6

I can still remember my Dad telling a 12-year-old starry eyed me that Star Wars' story was a cross between a western and a world war II movie. At the time I insisted he was completely wrong; now I agree.

Two missing digits? How about two missing employees in today's story of Y2K

Re: Clipper

. . . and their wholly-owned subsidiary, Spall Chuck, Ltd

Deadly 737 Max jets no longer a Boeing concern – for now: Production suspended after biz runs out of parking space

So do executives at Boeing of the FAA ever fly in 737s? I suspect not.

I stopped taking flights using 737s 25 years ago, after I heard about the spontaneous oops-there-goes-the-rudder issue. This plane has had problems for 30 years, at least.

Capita lights One Revenues and Benefits bug bonfire: ALL reports older than 12 months to be ignored

Re: It's the new way

wouldn't be surprised if 'hot desking' was invented by PwC or EY

Re: Academy

It's similar in the States. At the Federal & State levels (especially big states) there's a level of professionalism that isn't perfect but resembles that of a half-way-decent corporation. At the county level it's like Grammar School, and the local town level is Lord Of The Flies.

Taxi for Uber: Ride-hailing app giant stripped of licence to operate in London

Re: re. "Passenger safety is not our priority"

How do you know a corporation is lying? They issue a statement.

Handcranked HTML and JPEG japes. What could possibly go wrong?

Humourless HR has never heard "no harm, no foul" apparently

One man's mistake, missing backups and complete reboot: The tale of Europe's Galileo satellites going dark

Re: Doesn't inspire confidence....

hint: it has a knob on it

Remember the Uber self-driving car that killed a woman crossing the street? The AI had no clue about jaywalkers

Re: Reasonable defaults

I wonder if they've thought ahead to a future situation where the road was full of these things: wouldn't the radar/lidar systems interfere with each other? Would every car have to have its own unique modulation?

Huawei thanks Uncle Sam for returning its seized comms kit ... two years later, ya jerks

Re: Did they drop the kit on the floor

dropped while attempting to escape, how sad

wait: "breaking export violations"? Meaning they were in compliance? Good to see these well-paid gov't functionaries can write American correctly.

Harvard freshman kicked out of US over OTHER people's posts on his social media

Re: Twitter?

Reg commenters are intelligent, but not very bright. This happens a lot.

World recoils in horror as smartphone maker accused of helping government snoops read encrypted texts, track device whereabouts

Glad to see the WSJ has a new revenue stream as the PR arm of the "intelligence" services.

Cloud computing's no PICNIC*: Yep, biggest security risks down to customer, not provider

Re: Rice-Davies applies

Odd, isn't it, that they can spend two or three years getting an MBA, and either never hear about Dunning-Kruger or the Peter Principle, or be utterly certain that neither one applies to themselves?

Our hero returns home £500 richer thanks to senior dev's appalling security hygiene

Re: Low quality coding

He appears not to understand the distinction between education and credential.

Rise of the Machines hair-raiser: The day IBM's Dot Matrix turned

No doubt a Darwin Award nominee?

Re: Try a Lathe

Everything's premeasured and prediluted, no chance of gluing your trainers to the floor with Glacial Acetic Acid or filling the room with Fake Fart Smell with Ammonium Persulfate. Sad I tell you, sad.

BT boss warns 16-min walk from current HQ to new London base 'just the tip of the iceberg'

Re: In reality

I'm sure avocado toast pairs very well with a pint, so yes they're best kept secret

Re: Anonymous Mole here...

so will the tanks be shelling Number 10 or Parliament this time?

I don't have to save my work, it's in The Cloud. But Microsoft really must fix this files issue

Re: Nobody tells students nothing

The media go on and on about how "tech-savvy" kids are. My arse. They know their phones and possibly some video or sound editing software. The end.

Literally braking news: Two people hurt as not one but two self-driving space-age buses go awry

Re: Physics will still be applied

right, no VC money for seatbelts, not even a TED talk

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH

Re: Gotta Feel sorry for the Dev

Here at a major US mid-market retailer, the developers design all the UIs. You can imagine how well that has gone. Intelligent people are incredibly stupid outside their area of expertise.

careful with that on Twitter, you'll be labelled transphone-phobic!

Bonkers British MPs rant: 5G signals cause cancer

Re: It's worse than the antivaxxers.

exactly the opposite, they all drive 4-tonne SUVs because the safety of their little snowflakes is paramount. Screw you if you're driving a Fiat.

Idle Computer Science skills are the Devil's playthings

Re: Press CTRL-C before logging in

nowadays OG = "original gansta" but evidently OG has been in use for some time.

When customers see red, sometimes the obvious solution will only fan the flames

Re: Dolt

:Doctor, it hurts when I do this!"

"so don't do that."