* Posts by Joey

251 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Aug 2007

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Confirmed: Apple gives nod to gobblement of Kinect-maker PrimeSense

Joey

Or...

... there might be some patents in there that could be used to clobber somebody.

From Dept of REALLY? Sueball lobbed at Apple over crap iOS Maps app

Joey

Swiss Army Knife

In a Swiss Army Knife, the individual tools suck. There are much better tools for opening bottles, whittling wood, taking nails out of horses' hoves. Why is it surprising that maps apps are not as good as dedicated satnavs? Why are the built-in cameras not as good as real cameras at the same price as the phone? Having said that, I have iPhone/iPad apps that are considerably better than their real world counterparts. ClearTune guitar tuner, SkySafari (as an astronomical telescope guider) and I much prefer playing Scrabble on an iPad than with a real board.

We go joyriding in the Google Maps-killer's ROBO-CAR

Joey

Huh?

Surely, minding this rig is worse than using a mobile phone when driving?

ETERNAL PATENT WAR: Apple and Samsung locked in battle again

Joey

"The Fruity Firm"

Used three times in this short piece. Go to the back of the class for lack of imagination and overuse of clichés.

BIG, CURVY Apple models: Just right for SLAP AND TICKLE

Joey

I remember a time...

... when car windscreens were flat. Don't see many of those these days. On an iPhone (with a larger screen than the current model) a curved edge will make it easier to operate with one hand as your thumb will not be restricted by a sharpish edge. Makes sense to me.

Could Doctor Who really bump into human space dwellers?

Joey

Sixty years ago...

...Dan Dare didn't have all these problems. The Anastasia could go anywhere with only the cockpit canopy of a Second World War fighter bomber. Going back even further, Buck Rogers fueled his 'rocket ship' with copper wire off a reel. Worked pretty well but the smoke always rose upwards and the sparks fell downwards. Wouldn't be allowed these days on Health and Safety grounds.

RUMBLINGS: Apple pondering 'Touch Cover keyboard' for iPads

Joey

Logitech

I just got a Logitech Bluetooth keyboard for my iPad from Amazon (£30). The iPad fits neatly inside it and it is a decent keyboard too. I really do like to have the arrow keys for editing.

Apple's iWatch to appear in 2014, will RULE your home – new claim

Joey

Home automation is a very small market. For the most part, a cheap mechanical timer will do the trick of turning on the microwave or kettle before you get home. I very much doubt if this is what the 'alleged' iWatch is all about. If it doesn't measure my blood pressure, heart rate, temperature and blood sugar level, I can't see a need for it.

Swap your old iPhone for a new one, Tim Cook tells British fanbois

Joey

Oh Jasper

7 x "fanbois"

1 x "Jesus Phone"

but not a mention of "Fruity Firm"

You are slipping!

Android adware that MUST NOT BE NAMED threatens MILLIONS

Joey

Ah but...

...they are cheaper than iPhones and more customisable. Can't have it both way :?(

Rotten Apple iOS 7 fury: Glitchy audio or is today's music really that bad?

Joey

Installed

iOS7 became available about 6:50 (not the 6:00 that was touted on some sites). I managed to grab the update for my iPad within half an hour but subsequently trying to update my iPhone, I hit the traffic jam.

I don't understand why updates like this can't be staggered across timezones or using some other method - but then that wouldn't get all the free publicity.

Haven't hit any 'gotchas' yet.

How to get a Raspberry Pi to take over your Robot House

Joey

Life is too short

In terms of productivity, this is definitely one for the underachievers who will waste more time and earn less and less money from increasingly more effort - in a vicious circle.

Apple named in criminal lawsuit over Premier League–streaming app

Joey

It would be interesting if Apple was landed with four years in prison!

iPhone 5S: Apple, you're BORING us to DEATH (And you too, Samsung)

Joey

Re: Peak Smartphone

Personal TriCorder?

Peugeot 208 GTi: The original hot hatch makes a comeback

Joey

Huh...

...The Register gets more like Top Gear every day!

Xiaomi plans global domination with fast smartphones and software

Joey

Can you image what the instruction booklet would read like? China has yet to find a technical translator, from all account!

Why Teflon Ballmer had to go: He couldn't shift crud from Windows 8, Surface

Joey

Re: I'm a MSFT Fan But.....

"As several other comments have said here, Microsoft should have made 2 different versions of the Win8 OS: business (Explorer UI) and consumer (touch UI). Microsoft may not like hearing that, but it's the truth."

It might be the sort of thing Microsoft would do but a better OS designer would simply ask if the user wanted touch capabilities and serve up the appropriate experience from the install disk.

Star Wars revival secret: This isn't the celluloid you're looking for

Joey

Never mind the film stock...

Let's have a good script, a good story and decent acting. The filming technique is immaterial.

iCloud outage outrage: Look, iPhoto friends, kitty just learned to... NOOO

Joey
FAIL

Fanbois x 4

At least the idiot didn't mention "Fruity firm" in this piece but why The Register needs to employ so many trolls when they already have so many Jeremy Clarksons, I can't image.

Apple big-screen TV rumor zombie RISES FROM THE DEAD

Joey

Re: Just what we need...

No, a 60" iPad makes more sense. No need to run Office or Photoshop but iPad apps, games, messaging, video conferencing (Skype) would be useful.

Ye Bug List

Joey

Third Para bug

The first line of every third paragraph in the articles has a spurious line break in the middle of the line. Is this 'house style' or office cleaner?

New blinged-up 'iPhone 5S' touted by Jobs FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Joey

"Fruity firm"

Used twice in this piece. Do you have key combos for clichés like this? It would save a lot of time.

Google Glass: Would you pay a mere $299 to plop one on your brow?

Joey

Bionic eye

The Six Million Dollar man had one and put it to good use. Imagine if surgeons had to wear (something similar) that recorded the operation being performed. I can think of many serious uses that a 'bionic eye' could perform – walking into a bar is not one of them.

Here we go again: Apple gets second bite in ITC Moto patent spat

Joey

Cliché alert

"The fruity firm now finds itself directly in contention with the Chocolate Factory"

Beam me up? Not in the life of this universe

Joey

Fascinating...

Fact: there is no continuation of consciousness when you are teleported. The original is destroyed (duplication is not permitted by law). The clone IS an exact copy of the original with all the memories, warts and all but once you step into a transported, you die.

How long would it take a 3D printer to recreate the clone?

Western spooks banned Lenovo PCs after finding back doors

Joey

Personally, I am more worried about the fact that there is a Chinese takaway in every town in the country!

No more Crapbook Air: Apple issues update for spotty Wi-Fi

Joey

Ah, the 'fruity firm' again. Why use one word when two will do?

(Where do they get these people?)

Apple Maps. Remember that? Apple does. It just gobbled Locationary

Joey

'crap map app', 'fruity firm'

Is this clever alliteration or cliché. You decide!

Dead STEVE JOBS was a CROOK – judge

Joey

"The fruity firm"

...Used twice in the one article. Where do they get these journalists?

Big browser builders scramble to fix cross-platform zero-day flaw

Joey

The best protection is...

...common sense. Costs nothing.

Cold, dead hands of Steve Jobs slip from iPhones: The Cult of Ive is upon us

Joey
Thumb Up

Whatever you say...

...I know what platform I'll be developing for!!!

So, who ought to be the next Doctor Who? It's up to YOU...

Joey

My vote is for...

Adrian Lester

I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Joey

My excuse...

I use Macs, don't know anything about Windows - which isn't totally true but works every time ;?)

Space probe spies MYSTERY 'Cold Spot' in very fabric of cosmos itself

Joey

Everyone's got it wrong...

The Universe is just an atom in an even bigger Universe which is, itself, an atom etc, etc.

Seriously though, the human brain can not comprehend the nature of The Universe and what is 'inside' and 'outside' it much in the way that an earthworm knows little about simple shopkeeping. Much as we try to come up with an answer, including supernatural beings, science 'fiction' and science 'fact'. I really don't think we will ever crack this one. There is a lot of time, but not enough!

Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

Joey

Seriously though...

2001 is one of very few films with no sense of UP and DOWN.

Earth vs The Flying Saucers because they wouldn't let me into the cinema to see it!

The original War of the Worlds, an absolute classic

Superman and the Mole Men, scared me way back then.

The original Day of The Triffids was brilliant!

Joey

Plan 9 from Outer Space

I married a Monster from Outer Space

The Blob

Abbott and Coustello go to Mars

From the Earth to The Moon

The Angry Red Planet

Flesh Gordon

The return of the sons of the Devil Women from Venus rides again - meets Old Mother Riley, VIII, The sequel

Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

Joey

Re: I'll stick with my Mac

BBEdit is the one to judge all others by but I've just come across Komodo Edit (cross platform) which does a pretty good job.

'Mainframe blowout' knackered millions of RBS, NatWest accounts

Joey
Joke

Common problem

It's that 16K RAM pack on the back. If you wobble it, you can lose all your data.

Dell takes aim at iPad, uncloaks enterprise-level Win8 tablet

Joey

Not my experience

"At Dell, we have – unequivocally – the most secure, most manageable, and most reliable product portfolio in the industry," My first (and last) Dell product had no less than ten call outs in the first year. Virtually every part was replaced and it still didn't work.

Foxconn: Our hiring freeze has nothing to do with iPhone 5

Joey
FAIL

Yawn...

'Fruity-firm', 'Jesus-mobe'. Don't you have any new clichés up your sleeve. These ones are past their sell-by.

Why the Apple-Samsung verdict is good for you, your kids and tech

Joey

Identity stealing

If you dress up as a policeman, and you are not a policeman, that is a crime. If you produce a national flag with horizontal red, white and blue stripes, you are passing yourself off as France. If you are a British soldier and dress up in a German uniform you will likely be shot as a spy. Identity is about creating a persona. It doesn't matter how simple that identity is. Red, white and blue horizontal strips, a red dot on an white background, a white + on a red background, a red + on a white background, the simpler the better. Samsung took what was essentially an identity created by Apple, not just the black rectangle with rounded corners but near identical packaging too. Never mind the rounded corners, even though there are countless different shapes that could have been used. Why choose black when there are countless other colours? Why have a grid of square icons, they could have been hexagons or circles and been more distinctive. No, Samsung chose to create a 'me-too' and then had the cheek to say that Apple is stifling innovation!!!

Microsoft's new retro-flavoured logo channels Channel 4

Joey

I would say that a black rectangle with rounded corners is more distinctive and memorable that four coloured squares. The grey 'Microsoft' though, in a generic sans-serif, is a stroke of genius.

CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

Joey
Devil

Huh?

Surely a 'God Particle' must be balanced by an equal and opposite "Devil Particle'? Now, there's something to worry about!

Apple wins US ban on Samsung's Galaxy Tab 10.1

Joey

Rounded corners are not the issue...

...it's the entirety, right down to the surface decoration of the packaging. That is like being sold a fake Rolox or Gidson guitar. It is setting out to be something that it is not.

'Dated and cheesy' Aero ripped from Windows 8

Joey

Re: Wow, I think you noticed it...

I was at the UK launch of Windows 95 way back then. It was gratifying to hear the Microsoft presented say how bad Windows 3.11 was and how much better '95 was. So, that is their sales strategy. Tell the punters what a load of c**p they are using and promise them something, err, different!

'Call Corporate Of Apple and tell them to stop there persuit!!'

Joey

That would be 'their' persuit!!

Apple tells Siri rival Evi: Get a facelift and you can stay

Joey

A long way to go...

I installed EVI on my iPhone 4 and tried a few simple questions like 'where can I get a curry near here?'. EVI didn't have any knowledge of my small Dorset town whatsoever and suggested three online web sites which were equally useless. It was, however, able to tell me how many inches were in a metre from a spoken question – but I didn't really want to know that. If an app can't point you to a ruby, what good is it?

Proview parks IPAD battle tanks on Apple's US lawn

Joey

Re: Proview IPAD...?

The Proview iPad is not a tablet at all but an ugly rip-off of the original iMac!

Ten... digital adult toys

Joey

By Lucy Orr • Get more from this author

How :P ?

Stallman: Did I say Jobs was evil? I meant really evil

Joey

Utter nonsense

I suspect that Stallman has never used a Mac. I have used Macs almost exclusively since they came out in 1984. I have never felt restricted in any way. In all that time, I have had exactly two hardware failures - a power supply and a Powerbook LCD screen. I have been able to sell my older models for a decent price after four years. I have personally made at least a million pounds, probably more in that time using Macs and I put that down to the fact that I was benefiting from the productivity, reliability and resale value. I would much rather pay for Photoshop than suffer with GIMP. I have just had a brief flirtation with Open Office – and dumped it. Apart from Firefox, I don't use any 'open source' software as in almost every case, there is something better. Okay, I have to pay for it but that is just a business expense and tax deductible.

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