* Posts by Joey

251 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Aug 2007


'Windows 10 destroyed our data!' Microsoft hauled into US court


I don't use Windows. Don't have these problems.

Microsoft deletes Windows 10 nagware from Windows 7 and 8


Windows 10 Software condemed by Which


Shopping for PCs? This is what you'll be offered in 2016


What I want

Is a compact all-in-one with a 27" high res screen, a 3Tb drive with a large SDD buffer, no problems with drivers. That can run all modern versions of Windows and LInux concurrently and even copy and paste between them should I so wish. I'd also like it to pay for itself in the first week and to be able to sell it for a high proportion of what I paid for it after three years or so. Oh wait, that's what I have. An iMac.

Boffins baffled by record-smashing supernova that shouldn't exist



Big bangs are now two a penny.

BBC News website takes New Year's Eve break


www.bbc.co.uk/news works

I can't get through to news.bbc.co.uk but www.bbc.co.uk/news works just fine. I found this out but getting there through www.bbc.co.uk. Could it just be a DNS problem?

Watch out, er, 'oven cleaners': ICO plans nuisance call crackdown in 2016


If you specifically ask a call center to remove your number from their list, they are obliged to do so. If they call you again, you just say that you asked to be removed from their list. That shuts them up. I seldom hang-up on a cold call, I prefer to take the pi55 for as long as possible.

BAN the ROBOT WHORES, says robot whore expert: 'These AREN'T BARBIES'


Does anyone know if 'Roxxxy' can also do some light housework and cooking?

YOU! DEGRASSE! It's time to make Pluto a proper planet again, says NASA boffin


It's no big deal

Planet, Dwarf Planet. It's just a small planet – just as a 'dwarf' if a small man. What's wrong with that?

Goodbye Vulcan: Blighty's nuclear bomber retires for the last time


They have the nose of a Vulcan at the Air Museum by Bournemouth Airport. You can climb up into the cockpit and wiggle the switches. Yes, it is claustrophobic!

This whopping 16-bit computer processor is being built by hand, transistor by transistor


Some day, all computers will be made like this. This miniaturisation thing has had its day. Long live the 2N2222!

Scientists love MacBooks (true) – but what about you?


On my 27" iMac, I am running Mac OSX, Windows XP (with IE6), Windows XP (with IE7), Windows 7, Windows 8, Windows 10 beta, Ubuntu 15 - and BDS Unix - all at the same time if need be. When you are developing web sites, you gotta have ALL the browsers.

ROBOTS in sinister public-relations push ahead of coming WAR ON HUMANS


'to enter areas too dangerous for humans'

Most of the Middle East then!

What an eyeful: Apple's cut price 27in iMac with Retina Display


Re: Good idea

I doubt if you will find a washing machine that will last ten years - unless you spend a lot of money. Washing machines typically give 1 year per £100 spent. A 10-year Miele will cost £1000+

Also, if you are lucky enough to get five years out of a washing machine before it dies, you have to scrap it. An iMac has a decent residual value after five years.

Last flying Avro Vulcan, XH558, prepares for her swan song


Vulcan has had his day

It cost a fortune to keep it airworthy, the money could be better spent. Time to put the old fellow out to stud!

IN YOUR FACE, Linux and Apple fans! Oculus is Windows-only for now



When it can be done without a headset, I might be interested. Until then - meh!

It’s Adobe’s Creative Cloud TITSUP birthday. Ease the pain with its RGB-wrangling rivals


Photoshop CS6

For quite some time, Adobe charged substantial upgrade prices for increasingly esoteric new features. Now they want to lock you into a subscription model. I was a heavy duty Photoshop user at one time and happily paid for the upgrade even though though they added little in terms of functionality. I am quite happy to stick with CS6 and don't find it deficient in any way.

'Rombertik' malware kills host computers if you attempt a cure



Can we have a Mac version too please ;?)

Oh Em Pee! Giant Android tinkles on Apple in Google Maps graffiti


The Apple logo is an apple...

Why is the Android logo a robot?

Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC



My one and only Dell computer ever was nearly thrown out of the second floor window on a number of occasions, were it not for the safety of those below. After ten service calls where everything was replaced (but the case) without it being fixed, I took it to the local dump and then built my own PC from the ground up. Now, if I had had a gun at the time...

ALIENS ARE COMING: Chief NASA boffin in shock warning


All that we really know about aliens

is that, yes, they exist and they count on a base of 187.5. Could that possibly be the number of digits they have?



On the wrong track completely...

Everyone knows that the big bang started in a parallel universe and burst into ours, where there was nothing to start with. There are an infinite number of parallel universes of different sizes, scales and shapes. To travel great distances in our universe is just a matter of popping over to another universe that has a different scale and temporal flow, travelling a short distance and them popping back into our universe st the distant destination. No near-light speed needed, no deflectors, no cryogenic chambers, no Bussard Scramjets, no wormholes. All you need is a sidestep! We don't have these yet but something else might!

Thought Apple was kidding about diversity? Here's 50 MEEELLION reasons you're wrong


Damned if you do...

...Damned if you don't. (depending on your love/hate of Apple).

Apple Watch: Wait a minute! This puny wrist-puter costs 17 GRAND?!


Re: Overpriced?

There are people who will sit in a restaurant and order a £10,000 bottle of wine. I doubt very much that it has anything to do with the taste or 'nose' of the wine. It's like Harry Enfield waving a wad and saying 'Loadsamoney'. The bottle of wine won't last very long either!

Don't touch me up there! Photoshop creator appeals for 'ethical' use


Re: Marketing/advertising have no ethic, so asking for ethical use is useless...

While you are at it, ban foundation cream, eye shadow, lipstick, hair colourants etc, etc. They are all examples of 'retouching'.

Big Brother in SPAACE: Mars One picks first 100 morons to suffocate, er, settle on Red Planet


It's all a scam

Sounds to me like the Lads from Lagos have drempt up a new revenue stream. I'm not buying this!

Apple LIGHTSABERS to feature in The Force Awakens


Old is best

A spitty light sabre is obviously a relic, like a well-worn 1959 Stratocaster. Very desirable!




The G is for Graphical not Jraphical!

Apple Fanboi? Stand by to get Beats Music LIKE IT OR NOT


"Does R&B still mean rhythm & blues?"

No, Rubbish and Bass

Snapper's decisions: Whatever happened to real photography?


10 x 8

Back then, I shot food and still lives on a 10 x 8 Sinar. Because of the long bellows extension and small aperture (f64), there would be up to thirty flashes from different flash and tungsten heads placed around the subject - some with a stocking over the lens to give a halo. I would have to use 10 x 8 Polaroid film to balance the lights and then take bracket shots +- 1/3 stops. The film would be sent off to the lab but a couple of sheets held back to be pushed or pulled by the lab for the final tweak. Depending on the subject, we could do one or two shots in a day like this. I always considered this approach to be 'painting with light' rather than photography.

Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game


Start at the very beginning...

Punch cards, Sinclair Basic then Z80 assembler.

Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core


On the other hand...

...it's a very long time since Jasper wrote anything new, exciting or innovative!

Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon


Daleks, Cybermen, lesbian Lizards. If you want science, look elsewhere. Loved it!

Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE



...that it is only the Apple Watch that could cause problems. Why not a Casio Calculator Watch or a Rolex with a stopwatch function? A: Because putting 'Apple' in a headline makes people sit up and pay attention. What about using a sat-nav? My TomTom has a dreadful touchscreen and even worse GUI. It can talk to me but I can't talk to it, which I could if I had an Apple Watch.

4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch


4K, Meh

I can't wait for 16K Laser 3D and rediscovering all those great Marx Brothers films!

Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK


The Register gets more like Top Gear all the time!

Financial wizardess joins Apple board, air of coolness noticeably diminishes


"fruity fuhrer Tim Cook"

How politically incorrect can you get, Jasper?

Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery



Is this (particular) rubbish reported in The Register?

FBI: We found US MILITARY AIRCRAFT INTEL during raid on alleged Chinese hacker


I am amazed

That these companies should have such lax security on their servers. Username "admin", Password "password" comes to mind. They should be sued for negligence! Perhaps they should employ said hackers to make their servers hack-proof?

NASA finds first Earth-sized planet in a habitable zone around star



If it is 500 light years away, what they are seeing in 500 years old. Might not be there now so there's no point in setting off.

Report: Apple seeking to raise iPhone 6 price by a HUNDRED BUCKS


A brilliant idea!

I can then wave my new iPhone 6 in the pub with even more self-satisfied smugness. Why not make it another £1000, then it would be even more 'exclusive'. In a recent visit to the small market town of Enniskillen, Co Femanagh, I found a shop in the high street where the cheapest watch was £4500. Now THAT is style!

Android engineer: We didn't copy Apple or follow Samsung's orders


Look at this and tell me that Samsung don't copy Apple...


WTF is … the multiverse?


It is impossible for the human brain to comprehend infinity and a universe that goes on forever. Our experiences always are always bounded by something. Most humans even have trouble comprehending three dimensions as we are confined to the two (and a bit) dimensions of the surface of a planet. Throughout history, various theories have been proposed and then supplanted by newer ones as we have been able to better observe and understand our surroundings. No matter how much worms evolve in the future, they will never understand how a steam engine works. I think that we are all worms.

Nipper rolls up at nursery with 48 wraps of HEROIN


...and the technology angle is...?

Apple Mac Pro: It's a death star, not a nappy bin, OK?


Why a MacPro might be your next Windows PC...




It is NOT expensive...

My first Mac 128 (in 1984) cost about the same price as a Mac Pro does now. A LaserWriter cost £4500, a 10Meg SCSI hard drive cost £1750. My first Philips CD burner cost £2500, the software (Topic) cost £2500 for the Mac version and £2500 for the PC version. Blank CDs were £20 each and half the writes failed.

A NuVista video card cost £2500 and the same again for a u-Matic control card.

If you scale those 1980's prices to today, you are talking serious money. Expensive as they were, these items paid for themselves over and over again and fetched a good resale price too.

Random car shutdowns force Toyota to recall Prius hybrids - AGAIN


Re: "Patch Tuesdays" for cars?

No, the car comes to a screeching halt and all of a sudden, the dashboard turns red.

Prof Stephen Hawking: 'There are NO black holes' – they're GREY!


Whether you are a scientist or a theologist there is one thing for certain - we don't know what we don't know and most likely, never will. That has always been difficult to come to terms with.

Apple CEO Cook breaks YEARS OF SILENCE, finally speaks to El Reg hack


Re: Amusing.

Dear Fruity CEO, I would just like to drop you a fruity message to wish you and your fruity firm all the fruity best for the fruity New Year. Jasper

Sensation: Chinese Jade Rabbit FOUND ON MOON


I wonder how long it will be before the first Lunar Chinese Restaurant opens? Fu Yung Moon

US military's RAY-GUN truck BLASTS DRONES, mortars OUT OF THE SKY


Re: "A highly visible laser truck is going to be the first thing any enemy will want to take out."

The could be disguised as ice cream vans. Nobody would twig.