Re: Wanting to use 2FA is one thing...
"Also, pardon my ignorance, but how would I connect a cell phone to my computers? Do I need to install some kind of USB wireless device? I am indeed interested in 2FA, but it seems that there are different explanations of how to do it, each with a different set of unexpressed assumptions."
There are many ways to authenticate with something physical. A good system will let you choose, which throws out some companies, unfortunately. However, a good system will look like Duo Security (I am not in any way connected with that company. I just use their product to authenticate some places. I don't administer it either, this is purely a user's view).
With this system, you have a few options to authenticate. After you log in with your username and password, you are presented with a list of choices, so you can have multiple active options and use the one that is going to work. The options available include these:
1. Their primary suggestion is their own mobile app. You get a push notification, but it is not connected to your phone number. You have to have an internet connection for that to work, and you authenticate by pressing a button on your phone.
2. A code, also from their app. This is used if you don't have a connection (the code changes every thirty seconds based on a secret known to your phone, and becomes invalid afterward. Duo's is a 6-digit code that you enter on the thing you're logging into.
3. A phone call/SMS to an approved number, meaning you can use a landline. You do have to log in with proper credentials or that won't work, but that one could be abused by a local attacker.
4. A USB token like the ones mentioned in the article, either one that only works with Duo's system which the administrator probably has a gigantic box of, or an independent market one that works with a lot more (what I have).
This does not require that the thing you're connecting to having or allowing a USB device, or your phone having a connection at all times. If you simultaneously don't have a smartphone, don't want a USB device, and don't have any kind of phone with service, then I don't think there are other options. Still, this means you can use the authentication using a number of paths.