* Posts by Chloe Cresswell

455 posts • joined 24 Aug 2007


Datacenter migration plan missed one vital detail: The leaky roof

Chloe Cresswell

Re: What?

In my company we have a word for people who start projects with out consulting the right people to get information first.

We call them "customers"

G7 countries beat UK in worldwide broadband speed test again

Chloe Cresswell

Re: What is "enough"?

£65 per person for us. 4 people, best quote is £260 a month.

Chloe Cresswell

Re: What is "enough"?

At a site yesterday, 4 staff members. Connectivity? ADSL2+.

Town has 35 cabinets, 36 of them have FTTC. The one that serves the centre of the town? no vdsl, so adsl is your best option. I'm partly with you here.

That site might "like" fttp at high speeds, but we'd be much better off with even VDSL at 80/20 over the 16/1 we have now. Esp as there's not enough bandwidth to run VoIP over it, so we're actually having to look at getting a _new_ adsl circuit installed in 2022 to run the replacement phones.

For 4 people, a leased circuit isn't really a cost effective option.

Braking news: Cops slammed for spamming Waze to slow drivers down

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Devaluing notifications to increase revenue stream?

"The police misusing the system are also the ones benefitting as they are the recipients of said fine" The fine goes to the treasury, not the police that issue the fine here...

Burger King just sent spam receipts to customers

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Why did Burger King send me this blank receipt whilst i was sleeping at 5am?

I really doubt "you agree that we may send receipts for orders you never placed" is in the terms and conditions of any company.

UK chemicals multinational to build hydrogen 'gigafactory'

Chloe Cresswell

I don't see it as an or answer though. Some things BEVs will be better suited for, some FCEVs,

Why does it always have to be a 1 winner situation?

512 disk drives later, Floppotron computer hardware orchestra hits v3.0

Chloe Cresswell

You can ignore the firmware for the scanners, as as far as I can see on the floppotron, he wired his own controllers to the motors.

How one techie ended up paying the tab on an Apple Macintosh Plus

Chloe Cresswell

Re: "I thought MacWrite needed no explanation"

Company I worked for sold a scanner with a PC when flatbed scanners had just started to come down in price, but before USB.

He couldn't scan. Reason: scanner could interpolate to give an output of 19200dpi. And this was the setting the user had decided to use, because why would we sell him a scanner you couldn't use at the maximum setting?

The resulting scan was larger then the HD fitted to the PC.

And what did he want to use this massive image for? He was going to fax it (via the internal modem) to a site.

I don't want to know how long, and much paper would be needed to print out a 19200dpi at 150dpi.

Beware the fury of a database developer torn from tables and SQL

Chloe Cresswell

Re: I've heard all kinds of stories like this


Chloe Cresswell

Re: Just a quick question.

Wasn't it just the other day someone here related a story of a sales weasels not just selling something that was outside the spec, but also not possible under the laws of physics?

Chloe Cresswell

Re: I've heard all kinds of stories like this

My head has already filled in the error for when the server can't be found...

Software patching must work like car safety recalls, says US cyber boss

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Software patching must work like car safety recalls, says US cyber boss.

I have a recall on my car.

I have a notice listing all the dealers, the closest is over 2 hours drive away.

The recall? The manual lists the setting for the rear door child locks incorrectly, the on and off settings are reversed. The markings are correct on the door.

The outcome of the recall: I get a notice to drive 4 hours to a dealer and back to _replace a page in the manual_.

Thinnet cables are no match for director's morning workout

Chloe Cresswell

2 tales from my past come to mind:

1st is thinnet related - a company that made lorry trailers kept having weird issues. I traced the cable though the building and the yard, and over time, narrowed it down to one office. I discovered the 10base2 cable running from one side of the prefab office to the other via a step up into the end office. Also running there were the heating pipes. The system would work fine till the heating came on, and as the cables heated up, the resistance would change just enough to unbalance the entire segment.

The solution: when the heating came on, we would remove the terminator from the network, and connect it one office down the cable, cutting one office off, but keeping everything else working. The PC in there would be moved, and 5 or so months later, we would reverse it all for the months the heating was not in use.

The 2nd is from when we did some cabling in a primary school to give them their first network and internet. All the pupil's PCs (all 4) were in an alcove with the ISDN connection. One utp cable ran from this all the way to the office to give the admin computer internet access. 3 weeks after we fitted it, the admin PC stopped having access to the internet. We were told how it was all our fault, how terrible our product/install was. I was sent to the school, all seemed fine, but not connection.

I walked the corridor back to the ISDN end, and half way stopped. I pointed out to the staff I was dealing with that if you have a plumber in to work on your heated, and they blowtorch the cable running along the wall, it will take more then a lick of paint to cover up what has happened, and therefore it wasn't our work that was at fault.

South Yorkshire to test fiber broadband through water pipes

Chloe Cresswell

I was more thinking blocked due to Scunthorpe Syndrome.

Bouncing cheques or a bouncy landing? All in a day's work for the expert pilot

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Expert?

As my Dad (an english teacher) used to put it: Expert - X is the unknown quantity, and Spurt is a drip under pressure, therefore you have an unknown drip under pressure.

No defence for outdated defenders as consumer AV nears RIP

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Failure of capitalism

"Microsoft Security Essentials", it wouldn't become Windows Defender till Windows 8.

Offering Patreon subs in sterling or euros means you can be sued under GDPR, says Court of Appeal

Chloe Cresswell

10 electrons, or one BBC model b... ;)

Chloe Cresswell

Re: On the other hand...the corollary

You'd think they'd have made enough to own a Pu...

Windows takes a breather in London's Spitalfields

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Tick tock

Are we needing some lemon scented towels?

Wi-Fi not working? It's time to consult the lovely people on those fine Linux forums

Chloe Cresswell

We had a client with dell laptops. With a little switch on the side for wifi.

And just on the market was the new slipcase style design of laptop cases, replacing the more business like laptop bags.

And every time you put the laptop in the slipcase, the tightness of the case would pull the wifi switch into the on position.

And every time you pulled it out, it would pull the switch into the off position...

What came first? The chicken, the egg, or the bodge to make everything work?

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Clouds and Blue Skies

"Only now it's not your fault so you can feel better about ot." You missed off "and can do nothing about it"?

Say what you see: Four-letter fun on a late-night support call

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Not really concealing anything, more like technically accurate shorthand.

Don't forget the case of what TWAIN is best remembered as, Technology Without An Interesting Name

Research finds consumer-grade IoT devices showing up... on corporate networks

Chloe Cresswell

Re: News at 9....

Or a company dog!

Apple arms high-end MacBook Pro notebooks with M1 Pro, M1 Max processors

Chloe Cresswell

Which was also really funny given when Acorn formed ARM, Apple was the other main investor in the company!

(Apple also used the word "affordable" in the claim about the first risc home computer. Acorn's response was to point out the A3010 was selling for £199 at the time!

Chloe Cresswell

Not really true, the Archi isn't a SOC, you needed the ARM, VIDC1, MEMC1, etc to make a working system.

You'd have to wait till 1992 and the A series that replaced the archimedes - the A3010/3020/4000 used an ARM250 which did integrate the support chips to the cpu package.

BOFH: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine

Chloe Cresswell

Re: "I'm sure we'll lose the records of it in the fire, though...""

Makes a change from losing it in the floods of 1967?

"...some correspondence lost in the floods of 1967..." Was 1967 a particularly bad winter?"

"No, a marvellous winter. We lost no end of embarrassing files."

Chloe Cresswell

Re: A little power

At least we've past the point where they stick it over the windows licence key on the sticker.

Now they go to put them over serial numbers...

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Personal heaters

My experience of this, twice at 2 different companies, both involved a fan heater (say 2kW) plugged into a roll up extension lead (say, 750W when rolled up) which of course acted as a 2nd heater when that amount of current was pulled though it's coils.

Also, both the people involved were the health and safety reps for each of the companies!

Not too bright, are you? Your laptop, I mean... Not you

Chloe Cresswell

Re: me too

We had machines like that with a client. And the client's staff liked the "new" slip cases that had come out for laptops.

So every time they pulled their laptop out it's case, it snagged the wifi switch into the off position.

Scalpel! Superglue! This mouse won't fix its own ball

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Red Mouse mats!

Or red LED on early ones. Had a client where the mouse would go nuts occasionally. Tigger's nose on her mouse mat was the right shade, so every time the mouse crossed the nose it would go dead, then suddenly start working again when it crossed to another colour

Elevating bork to a new level (if the touchscreen worked)

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Reason for touch screen

Red Dwarf Xpress Lifts springs to mind.

One good deed leads to a storm in an Exchange Server

Chloe Cresswell

Pipex loop

We had a sales guy who had his email on Pipex.

One day his office based subordinate was going on holiday, and set their email to forward to him.

All went well till a virus infected email our system didn't detect came in. It forward it to pipex, who rejected it due to the content.

The NDR was duly forwarded, and rejected.

Cue 1 email loop around and around, slowly getting larger and larger.

It was about 3meg when we found it, on the n-hundredth loop.

It could been worse, but the slowness of our single ISDN channel kept the loop from going any faster!

Openreach to UK businesses: Switch is about to hit the fan. Prepare for withdrawal of the copper-based phone network now or risk disruption

Chloe Cresswell

Re: The future is coming

We have multiple clients where their current network connectivity is "adsl" or "leased line", it's weird how a small company with say, 8 phones paying £40 for their internet at the moment sees a £300 a month leased line as "a bit on the expensive side". Their choice for when ISDN goes? Sticking to adsl and doing all their calls on mobile phones seems to be their only choice.

London Greenwich station: A reminder of former glories. Like Windows XP

Chloe Cresswell

Re: re" FORMAT C:

1st degree toastercide?

Anyone still using cash? British £50 banknote honouring Alan Turing arrives

Chloe Cresswell

I still have some people pay me in cash - when we're doing work for someone on their home machine instead of a company they often want to pay on the spot, and that tends to be cash.

Chloe Cresswell

For me, Monday. Cards machines were out of action at my local butchers, so they were cash only. One internet fault and no bacon sandwiches...

Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Laptop + Monitor = two computers?

I'm more with the late Mr Adams on that...

“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.”

Hard cheese: Stilton snap shared via EncroChat leads to drug dealer's downfall

Chloe Cresswell

"Even one claiming to be encrypted and secure, because eventually it wont be secure anymore (once the Fuzz get hold of the servers)."

Not even then? Surely anything you share you're at a risk of someone else taking a copy/police getting their computer/etc and therefore getting a copy of the image?

I see sharing something like that in the way of keeping a secret - once you tell anyone else, you have to trust them not to share/leak it from that moment.

Here's how we got persistent shell access on a Boeing 747 – Pen Test Partners

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Bioterrorism Shock Headline

Sure that wasn't Jack Black trying to hide a packet of drugs?

Chloe Cresswell

Pretty sure the 747's APU is in the tail cone, not the nose cone.

Japan to start stamping out rubber stamps and tearing up faxes as new digital agency given Sept. 1 start date

Chloe Cresswell

It's as helpful as asking someone if they have tried not to be ill?

Using words would mean I don't just have to now get the letters right in the word (and in the right order) but to also beable to count them.. which means writing them down so I can count them. I might as well just carry the PIN written with me.

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Barcleys allow this

Unfortunately, when I go to a lot of banks and ask for chip and sign cards, I get told they don't offer them. So I'm limited to the banks that will accommodate my cognitive issues.

Chloe Cresswell

Barcleys allow this. I'm a chip and sign user due to my dyslexia, and run a business. The first thing you have to do to setup the app? Choose a 5 digit number.

I asked why they think I can remember a 5 digit number when they accept I can't remember a 4 digit pin, and their reply "It's not a PIN, it's a passcode".

Yes, they honestly told me that as it's got a different title, that should be enough to over come my inability to remember numbers in the right order :(

Protip: If Joe Public reports that your kit is broken, maybe check that it is actually broken

Chloe Cresswell

Had the son of MD at a client's site call us out due to not being able to email colleague sat opposite him.

Walked up, looked at screen.. "You've spelt the company name wrong", walked out again. Invoiced for time. Son sends email to all on site about how we are ripping them off.

George Clooney of IT: Dribbling disaster and damp disk warnings scare the life out of innocent user

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Am I Old?

First PC version of Elite. I'd never seen that version designed for the XT.

First machine I saw it on? A gateway 2000 P60. Yeah.. needed some slowdown!

Airline software super-bug: Flight loads miscalculated because women using 'Miss' were treated as children

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Huh?

Stall is when the lift can't sustain the weight of the aircraft, correct? So what is the wind speed needed for said 737 to make it's loaded weight shift by a couple of hundred kilos?

You don't need enough lift to make the aircraft fly, just enough to make the figures wobble.

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Huh?

Pointed out elsewhere: any air flow over the wings will generate little bits of lift, which would change the weight measured by the strain gauges in the landing gear...

Hacktivists breach Verkada and view 150,000 CCTV cams in hospitals, prisons, a Tesla factory, even Cloudflare HQ

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Nothing new?

"Products older that two years are obsolete and planned to be obsolete" some are planned to be obsolete at launch...

The next departure leaves in... have you thought about a Microsoft 365 subscription?

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Not just bus stops

Yeah, let me know when solidworks has a *nix version.

Chloe Cresswell

Re: Not just bus stops

Yeap, we've seen it a lot on updates when machines don't have an MS account linked to them.

So any machine running on a local account - "We see you aren't linked to an ms account, if you don't want to do this we won't include a 'no' option, just an 'ask me later' option"



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022