Posts by The Oncoming Scorn

Building bits of brain in the lab will change our minds

Re: Heaven or hell

Is that a control inhibitor?

Re: Brain Power

Clu-Bi V4.

Secret Service, ICE break the law over and over with fake cell tower spying

Re: How could they break the law ?

"had their wives and mothers chat to each other on the phone for hours on end"

Like they need any encouragement.

Now we're building computers from lab-grown brain cells

Sounds Like ANGEL One & Two From Earthsearch

The Angels are organic integrated circuitry (the more sophisticated androids also have organic components, though they don't have freewill).

If we plan to live on the Moon, it's going to need a time zone

Re: Ford Prefect

I thought he kept it in his satchel.

In all versions of the story, Ford carried around his satchel, which contained a variety of useful items. The satchel contained un-Earthly technology: a Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic, an Electronic Thumb, and a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the book, Ford's satchel also contains a couple of dog-eared scripts for plays that he pretended he was auditioning for, a few biros, a notepad, and a largish bath towel from Marks and Spencer. Ford always made sure he had his towel.

Re: Fail...

The Doctor reveals the limit of breaths is an algorithm to stop people "wasting" oxygen, part of the company's automated profit-making system; killing the wearers was just the logical endpoint of corporate profit over human life.

He hacks the station's systems to cause the station to self-destruct if they are killed, and convinces the others this is a "good death" and revenge against the corporation.

The computers recognise this threat to corporate profits and recalculate the suits' programming, and the zombies turn over their oxygen supplies to the survivors.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxygen_(Doctor_Who)

Icon - Looking for me sonic.

News Corp outfoxed by IT intruders for years

I wondered why the spelling had improved.

Ford seeks patent for cars that ditch you if payments missed

Re: F.O.R.D

Financial Outage Repossession Directive.

Backup tech felt the need – the need for speed. And pastries and Tomb Raider

Re: Some excellent training by the boss there

That thought occurred to me, speaking as one who likes to work smarter not harder.

PC tech turns doctor to diagnose PC's constant crashes as a case of arthritis

Re: Dell's help desk script

Due to the logistics of not being able to dial HP/IBM from the cage (Imaging & stock area) & being faced with a script monkey once to often, I recorded a failing HDD for playback down the phone on my PDA.

Re: South don't work in the North

That reminds me of a old tale* in Television Magazine told by Les Lawry-Jones about having to fit a replacement tube in upside down & stretch the final anode lead as the original tube was no longer available or as may well be the case from reading the comments above had been shipped one in error for the southern hemispheres.

*My memory is a right bastard for remembering useless shit like that, but not useful stuff, link to the LLJ archive here - https://www.vintage-radio.info/llj/

Icon for LLJ, HB & the dogs.

Re: South don't work in the North

Parallel?

Re: South don't work in the North

"Had one for seemed like for ever and gave it away when we moved house"

Gifted ours* to my father when we moved to Canada..........oh you were talking about the TV.

*He had a 2 year HND he was on, so he stayed behind for 18 months.

Re: people say that Charles III will be coronated.

All Kings are son's.

Or is that not woke enough these days on the whole pronoun thing.

This won't hurt a bit: Amazon now a US healthcare provider

20 Minutes Into The Suture....

Bezo's 7

VILA When you get AmaZen working, ask him to prescribe something for a headache, will you? I've got this shocking pain right behind the eyes.

AVON Have you considered amputation?

Puri.sm puts out LapDock for its Librem 5 smartphone

Re: Travelling

Tapwave Zodiac - Two SD slots.

https://regmedia.co.uk/2004/09/16/zodiac_1.jpg

Light from a long time ago reaches James Webb Space Telescope

Re: Light the blue touch paper and retire quickly … Missed Opportunity

Everything Everywhere All at Once

FTFY - Have a beer.

Microsoft begs you not to ditch Edge on Google's own Chrome download page

Re: AI warz

Samaritan V The Machine (Or during development multiple concurrent instances killing each other).

Just be grateful they aren't taking a leaf out of Colossus & Guardian's team up or The System in Blakes 7.

Not Only But Also

I use a Ninite (Download file) to do my core app installs on a clean build, so don't see any of the browsers screaming, at least not until I see Microsofts plea's to use Edge when starting Firefox for the first time.

Who needs sailors? US Navy's latest robo-ship can run itself for 30 days

Re: Autonomous?

It may not hit a trailer or a car like a Tesla in error, but there are an awful lot of bridges over estuary's for it to aim for.

Titanic mass grave site to be pillaged for NFTs

Re: No but, they're 'licensed'

I seem* to recall my father & his building site buddies doing that once (Or at least severely depleting the stock available for Christmas Eve\Day\Boxing Day).

*I was designated driver to collect him that Christmas Eve & by chance ended up in the same pub later that night to hear the Landlord grumbling loudly about his lost Christmas profits.

Re: "Titanic" "NFTs"

NFT - Non Floating Titanic.

Blockheadchain.

I'm using the pirate icon as its the closest thing to these "individuals", but the term is far too good for them.

Wipro tells freshers a job awaits - if they accept a lower salary than first offered

Re: lakh

I have ISO 3103 certified on my resume, thus far nobody has (Disappointingly) mentioned it.

Icon - We need a cuppa tea one too, to replace Paris.

Marketing company chases Twitter for $7,000 over 'swag gift box for Elon'

Re: Does Elon live off whisky cocktails and cheese?

Inside the confines of a spaceship (or similar airtight enviroment), rest assured they will.

Icon - Covering the nose.

Re: Freebies

For the most part I've only received employers own branded tat & clothing, a great many polo shirts from one employer & a fleece is still utilised 20 years later, albeit for dirtier tasks.

My last employer, provided very nice shirts to wear, but on getting the push I was so incensed that set about de-branding them as the company logo was adhered by heat transfer (I always meant to get some new transfers to cover up the mark).

We also received a number of branded merch that our boss shared out, I have a rather nice insulated Cisco branded travel mug for my truck (It was a godsend keeping my tea hot while driving down through the US in -32C in December).

Current employers have yet to send out any "workware" & the client site tends to give out freebies & lunches (Etc) only to it's direct employees (Which is a little awkward at times for them as well as myself & one other who are surrounded by them).

Re: $800 for a cheese board and cheese?

Having nearly been trampled to death by a herd of cows, the only way I want my cows now are as leather goods or on a plate.

Vengeance is a dish best served medium well, with fries, onion rings & garlic toast (With a Icon to go with it).

Microsoft's new AI BingBot berates users and can't get its facts straight

The ForBing Project (Icon)

That is all.

If you have a fan, and want this company to stay in business, bring it to IT now

Re: air CON

Snowflakes incoming around 12 - 1pm today - Nothing to do with aircon.

Zoox blurs line between workers and crash test dummies in robo-taxi trial

Re: Call me when the can navigate...

An ex-colleague (Somehow running two text conversations & a phone call to 3 different ladies (Pre distracted driving laws)) & my ex-brother in-law* would drive the streets of Essex & Kent in typical London wide boy style.

Putting them in a car (As driver or passenger) in a country lane & watching them enter a state of high anxiety was hilarious.

*Who despite being a father of two, his first time seeing heavily pregnant cows being walked to milking, thought the whole calf/udder area was one gigantic pair of breasts

Make Linux safer… or die trying

Re: Rhythm is a Dancer

How about two finger snaps, on Wednesday (Icon).

Roses are red, algorithms are blue, here's a poem I made a machine write for you

Hallmark

'When she read the poem, she was hurt and upset. She said it lacked any genuine emotion and that it was just a generic, impersonal message.'

How is that any different from a Hallmark card?

Re: My favourite ..

Chatbots poem was read

My loves heart turned blue

Then through her tears,

told me we were through.

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

Re: Unfair to plants…

BLAKE You have to be careful of the planet life around here. Some of it's carnivorous, some species even have an intelligence rating.

VILA That's a comfort. I should hate to be eaten by something stupid.

Americans have the right to livestream police traffic stops … probably

"you end up in the pokey unable to prove you fell up the stairs three times."

FTFY.

Ring system discovered around dwarf planet Quaoar leaves astronomers puzzled

Re: Er ...

Can we be sure its not a ring of Smegging garbage pods?

Icon - Cloister the Stupid making his glorious return!

Microsoft tells people to prepare for AI search engine that goes Bing!

Re: Two things always come to me when I hear bing

I was thinking of the machine that goes ding.

The Doctor: Tracked you down with this. This is my Timey-Wimey detector. Goes ding when there’s stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at thirty paces. Whether you want it to or not, actually. So I’ve learned to stay away from hens. It’s not pretty when they blow (Icon).

Scammers steal $4 million in crypto during face-to-face meeting

Re: NFC?

from the story, he created this at home on a private device, prior to the meeting.

Icon - Wheres me f**king (crypto) wallet?

Could 2023 be the year SpaceX's Starship finally reaches orbit?

Re: Gwynne Shotwell

Is that you Werewoof?

Re: Orbit

Well the Flat Earth Society, does have members all around the globe.

Re: ozone holes - NOT from rockets (instead, volcanoes)

Wickermen*.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51NhmUdOWOL.jpg

https://i.etsystatic.com/12141095/r/il/bccc9e/3753541594/il_570xN.3753541594_8xoj.jpg

*Two-fer as I couldn't make my mind up which image to go for.

Mitsubishi gives up on Japan's first domestically manufactured passenger jet

Cuts down on pilot training, they only need to learn how to take off.....

Re: Better luck next time around

I came here to say basically they made a big fat Zero......

Wikimedia Foundation confirms, and bemoans, Pakistan ban

Re: Strangely torn

He'd probably get lost going to court....

'Just a stranger on the bus, tryin' to make His way home?"

Cat saves 'good bots' from Twitter API purge

Re: Cat saves 'good bots' from Twitter API purrrge

Claw blimey with the puns.

Eager young tearaway almost ruined Christmas with printer paper

Re: Procedure update

"I always wonder what went wrong in the upbringing of a person who decide to become an accountant..."

I think it was The Mary Whitehouse Experience on radio that ran the joke about John Major "A man so boring he ran away from a circus to become an accountant".

Microsoft boffins contemplate equipping Excel with AI

Re: Aaaaaaarrrrgghhh!!!!eleven

Whilst you were in Improbability Drive?

System76 teases features coming in homegrown Rust-based desktop COSMIC

Am I the Only One

That reads COSMIC in Rodney Trotters voice.

Tesla admits it was asked to hand over Autopilot, Full Self-Driving docs to investigators

Ohhhh I'm so stealing that.