* Posts by The Oncoming Scorn

1732 posts • joined 3 Feb 2018

Exsparko-destructus! What happens when wand waving meets extremely poor wiring

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Holmes

Re: Less poor wiring than poor building

At another branch of the same three letter pharma company, this time in Stevenage....

I was happily doing my rounds of dropping off equipment & heading back to my car, when the head of security came in the opposite direction & tackled me on the frequent subject of laptops disappearing & how secure were Kensington locks, as over the prior weekend someone had got into a locked office area, via the roof void from the neighbouring unlocked office & taken said laptop. The evidence for this was a pair of dirty boot prints on the desk where the miscreant had dropped himself onto.

BOFH: You say goodbye and I say halon

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Coat

Re: England, I believe

& occasional references to pounds sterling.

Troll jailed for 5 years after swatting of Twitter handle owner ends in death

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FBI

Oh, come on, guys, we talked about this! You're supposed to yell "FBI" at the beginning and what happened with getting "FBI" on the fronts of the uniforms? Huh?

Lawn care SWAT team subdues trigger-happy Texan... and other stories

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Paris Hilton

Re: Male mosquitoes ...

How are you identifying the males from the female(s)?

Engineers' Laurel and Hardy moment caused British Airways 787 to take an accidental knee

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Coat

Re: Seems to me a few errors were made...

Is it wrong I read that as BOFH engineers.

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Pint

TITSUP

Totally Impeded To Submit Up\downvotes Properly.

Not only is Hubble back online after outage, it's already taking photos of the cosmos

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Alien

Re: Galaxies colliding in 'expanding space'....

As Disaster Area's earnings require hypermathematics, their chief research accountant was named Professor of Neomathematics at the University of Maximegalon and in his Special Theories of Tax Returns he proves that space-time is "not merely curved, it is, in fact, totally bent."

How to keep your enterprise up to date by deploying the very latest malware

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Big Brother

Gold SIlver & Bronze Images

So I worked at one certain 3 letter named Pharma in the early noughties, we had 3 standard tightly controlled images depending on job role/function & a menu system to install additional software on.

One of my colleagues got tasked with putting a fresh image on a suite of machines in a training room with suitable customations, this was commenced by a boot disc with a quick Q&A for things like department & machine name. This took him overall the best part of 4 days (Between other duties).

Within 3 days we get a ticket asking for help installing software by a seniorish manager, he's tried to install on half a dozen machines in that suite with it crapping out when it ask's for admin rights, so he tries another machine each time.

My colleague was most annoyed at the ticket, we flagged it to our boss who was even more annoyed & to her boss who also was most annoyed. Said manager was forced to pay the bill for the time spent re-imaging all the machines a second time out of his budget as he couldn't identify which he had attempted his installs on (Under one of the generic accounts).

My colleague (Who by now was not a happy bunny) duely set about the re-imaging task (Though I think our boss took pity on him & asked any of us who were free to assist).

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Holmes

Re: this apha code is not fit for production!

Our UK phone number was one digit out from a IT Support service (NHS IIRC).

Of course it was hell for the ex Mrs Scorn as she thought they were calling for me during daytime hours.

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Pint

Re: Rookie mistake

POETS Day - Start the image creation & leave.

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Paris Hilton

Re: This is one of those things...

Was the folder named "Deposits".

NASA fixes Hubble Space Telescope using backup power supply unit, payload computer

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Black Helicopters

Re: Sounds vaguely familiar.. LOL

Fun ain't they getting in with security ranging from the "Just go in" to the third party security guy that would let you in after restating they needed 24 hours notice (Yet again) & the whole checking the underside of the vehicle with mirrors for bombs. I did the ones in Devon, I think one in Cornwall, Whale Island & Norton Fitzwarren. There was also one side trip to the base of the SBS while returning from Whale Island.

Royal Marines if anyone's interested & hasn't worked it out.

All hands on Steam Deck: Fancy a handheld Linux PC that runs Windows apps, sports a custom AMD Zen APU and a touch screen?

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Re: Looks like...

Reminds me of the Tapwave Zodiac.

Got quite a few of them when the company went under.

Try placing a pot plant directly above your CRT monitor – it really ties the desk together

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Paris Hilton

Re: Oldskool TV and pot plant

Be Upstairs Ready My Angel

One way of paying the TV repairman I suppose.

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Pint

Re: Most common fault was Magnets

I rescued a 24" IIRC CRT monitor from the scrap pile, just about fitted on my desk, nice upgrade from 17".

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Holmes

Re: It’s amazing what you learn here.

When he's not saving office blocks from thieves & aircraft in a holding pattern from terrorists\mercenaries or even the Earth itself from rogue asteroids on collision courses.

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Mushroom

Re: Back in the olden days

Ex Mrs Scorn, tried to burn the house down that we were moving out of (In 4 days time) in that fashion & wanted to either carry it to the sink or pour water on it.

Fortunately I stopped her from doing that, having remembered the public safety films on the subject & had been on two firefighting courses on dealing with fires on oil rigs & ships & simply smothered it with a wet tea towel.

Having moved into the new home, our local B&Q at some point had a fire blanket in the clearance area (With a wall mounted holder). She wasn't very appreciative of that purchase given her track record.

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Holmes

Re: Adjust the monitor settings?

Or remove the unit that recharged the site staffs walkie talkies batteries from its position above the affected monitor.

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Alert

Re: BOBSMEDS - Soppys Story!

So a friend at college, decided like myself to bump up his C&G 224 (TV Servicing in his case) to a HNC, with some financial help from the Manpower Services Commission at Swindon College. This was his story.

"So I'm there on XXXXX chassis in a little old ladies house, adjusting the focus (Or whatever) with my hand down between the boards, when my watchstrap* decided to get friendly & ignore social distancing advice with the HT, when "the law of surprise" kicked in".

So with the expected flyback, there was a cry of surprise & pain as he & his arm, wrist & hand was predictably distanced from the TV sets innards very quickly, gouging chunks of flesh out by all the solder joints on the way. Leaving him shaking & dripping blood over this little old ladies carpet as she watched aghast at the bloody shaken TV tech uttering expletives like Roy "Chubby" Brown on one of less restrained days as he tried to refocus his senses.

*You're ahead of me ain't ya & don't need to be told what the watch strap was made of.

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Paris Hilton

Re: BOBSMEDS

It seems to be a left pondian acronym for the steps required to discharge a tube (Googles a handy tool).

Stands for Buddy, Off, Bling, Strap, Mat, Eyewear, Discharge (Icon), Safety.

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Alert

Builds Up A Charge Very Quickly

Did it once, never again......

BOFH: But soft! What light through yonder filing cabinet breaks?

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Pint

Re: Hilarious!

I was almost in need of a new keyboard at that one....

"mental note to give our supplier a lesson on the dangers of high voltage" - Was a very close second.

This page has been deliberately left blank

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Paris Hilton

Re: I have a friend

Pen Island - https://www.penisland.net/

Icon.

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Coat

Re: Only Fools

275 Free Nelson Mandela t-shirts.

https://www.facebook.com/OnlyFoolsLines/videos/your-stock-old-junk-same-difference/713969132555128/?extid=SEO----

Icon - Looking for a pony in me pocket.

United, Mesa airlines order 200 electric 19-seater planes for short-hop flights

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Black Helicopters

Re: Do electric aircraft have regenerative braking?

Droning on & on....

The coming of Wi-Fi 6 does not mean it's time to ditch your cabled LAN. Here's why

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Pint

Re: And security?

When I first moved to Canada, had a timing screwup which meant I was alone (Fortunately) in a rented house & internet connectivity was going to be put in 2 weeks after moving in.

Having established that the from the kitchen & back deck, my laptop could see open wireless points, but was just too weak for reliability.

Fortunately I had a (Netgear) USB WiFi adaptor with me. A quick trip to the local $store for the largest metal sieve I could find, & some USB extension cables. A hole was forced dead centre of the sieve for the USB adapter to sit into, the handle of the sieve bent to act as a stand, connected via USB to the laptop & went hunting for the best signal to survive on.

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Pint

Re: Easy peezy, lemon squeezy

Most of the stuff in the basement (Including a 48 port Gigabyte switch), was salvaged from work junk piles, or bought new (Data closet itself & 24 port patch panel).

The wiring upstairs is one port per room (Pre-existing), with three ports in the garage*, the downstairs basement has two cables at every port & I also put a pair into the lobby, I keep meaning to do a more critical test & labelling, most run fine up to 1Gb, one or two have lower speeds & one I think the dry wall installers put a screw through.

*Ex-showhome & the garage was used as a office\sales room for the sales staff & the fact they actually ran single network cables into the household common area's & bedrooms.

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Pint

Re: This months of work from home showed too....

I got so sick of Powerline ethernet adaptors overheating & flaking out, that in the end I ran two cables from the Bonus room (Room above a garage) down into & around the garage, then down into the basement & the router.

I don't want to hazard a guess but potentially greater than 100' run, but in one foul swoop TV streaming was flawless & could be enjoyed with a cold one.

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Pint

Re: This months of work from home showed too....

Years back an IT big wig was forced\shown the door to move to a role from where he had been head of a major chains infrastructure, to the IT point of contact at one of our facilities.

He logged a ticket saying WiFi wasn't working on a laptop (In a meeting room), I decided to make a site visit to pick it up (Billable mileage & early finish late afternoon, as it happened I didn't & went back to my hub\home site).

No fault found with the wireless unsurprisingly, so the next day I ring him back.

But not before my permy network guy, now reduced to site security & the only guy who knew where everything was across many sites mentioned that he knew (Installed) the WAP was right above the door to the server room/patching closet & passing through the metal framing in (Lots of) the walls, meant that anyone with a wireless connection was going to struggle at one end of the aforementioned meeting room (Connections to projector\speakers), being as it was right on the range limits without any metal in the way & the other end didn't have a snowballs chance in hell.

Thus armed with that knowledge I informed the former big boss with 0% practical experience that there was no issue with the laptop other than its inability to connect to a signal that was weaker than 1970's British Rail tea. Dropping it off the following day further boosted my mileage expenses claim for the week, while en-route to another site, which was nice.

My current accommodations came wired to certain parts of the house & when the basement was developed, pushed for about 12 network points to be placed in various parts of the three new rooms.

I have a app on my phone now called SciFi scanner IIRC (due to its Tri-corder type of multipurpose functionality) to see what channels the neighbours are using\broadcasting on their router & pick one that isn't being used by anyone close to hand, when setting up a new router.

WiFi is nice, but you can't beat a wired connection for reliability.

Who needs 'Bliss' in Teams when you can have the real thing on a Bristol bus?

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Miss Frizzle

The Tragic SCSI Bus..............

Icon

Ah, I see you found my PowerShell script called 'SiteReview' – that does not mean what you think it means

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Some Years Earlier(Second Meaning)

I remember reading that word in The War of The Worlds, wondering why the pub manager in the middle of a Martian invasion\attack, he was getting his jolly's.

11-year-old graduate announces plans to achieve immortality by 'replacing body parts with mechanical parts'

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Holmes

Re: Not right in the head

Well which 70's kid here didn't fancy being the Six Million Dollar Man back in the 70's.

Suck on this: El Reg forces dog hair, biscuit crumbs, and disconcertingly sticky stains down two mini vacuums

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Terminator

The Killer BOFH Bot From The Basement

https://www.theregister.com/2002/11/21/the_killer_bofh_bot/

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Holmes

Re: Able to buff up dried-on stains and stubborn sticky patches

Roomba v dog poo.

https://preview.redd.it/e94abqfxeca31.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=115405d794633a28401ca0da3c7190f1a4275821

Revealed: Perfect timings for creation of exemplary full English breakfast

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Pint

Re: Fried eggs

Thanks for the hint.

The ex (Mrs Outgoing Scorn) was rather surprised late in our marriage to discover that not only could I cook, but I could do it with minimal fuss or mess & present a meal nicely, rather than her leaving the kitchen looking like the aftermath of surgery at the 4077th.

I have never recorded my timings\sequence of what to cook & when etc, except beans for expediency (Especially as I hate them) last of all in the microwave in one of those little souffle pots.

My perfect FE breakfast:

OJ, tea, bacon, sausage (HP/Ketchup as the mood takes me), fried bread/eggy in a basket, toast. Usually as the result of too much of the icon the night before

Where's the boss? Ah right, thorough deep-dive audit. On the boardroom table. Gotcha

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Paris Hilton

Patching Closet

One of my predecessor's at a certain pharma, was caught inserting his plug into a cleaners CAT5 port, while "enjoying" the privacy of the patching closet (Lacking the presence of mind to lock it from the inside).

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Pint

Re: Going out for a curry...

Bovine University.

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Paris Hilton

"Clive" had the key, which needed to be inserted......

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Pint

Re: Cash .... an Immaculate Reserve

If it comes to taking the money and running, I for one could do with the exercise.

Thanks DNA.

BOFH: Here in my car I feel safest of all. I can listen to you ... It keeps me stable for days

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Pint

Re: Original lyric

"Its the only way to live."

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Angel

Re: Box Tickers Anonymous United .......

But what about Orion 7 and Proxima 3?

Icon - Closest thing to a Vorlon.

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Pint

Re: Box Tickers Anonymous United .......

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...

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Pint

Re: People do need to be told

I seem to recall* Simon & the PFY punching holes in their access card's, so their movements couldn't be tracked through the building.

*No sooner said than swindled....... https://www.theregister.com/2004/07/19/bofh_2004_episode_23/

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Coat

Re: People do need to be told

but the wristband was ok though.......

Things that needn't be said: Don't plonk a massive Starlink dish on the hood of your car

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Facepalm

Re: Spaced-GenX?

I'd have thought a truck bed would have been more appropriate.

https://gizmodo.com/you-cant-just-slap-a-starlink-dish-onto-your-car-calif-1847226690l

One good deed leads to a storm in an Exchange Server

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Paris Hilton

Re: Probably a bit silly but....

You will great, I''MAP the back!

Icon - Damn mask muffeling me speech as even PH knows when to use protection.

It's about time! NASA's orbital atomic clock a boon for deep space navigation – if they can get it working for long enough

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Angel

Re: "Light signals can sometimes take up to 20 minutes to journey from Earth to Mars "

Honestly, what can you expect if the thing was a 6 day rush job.

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Coat

Makes A Change

From waiting for lemon soaked paper napkins.

Icon - Wheres me clean hanky?

Leaked Apple memo tells employees that they'll be coming into the office at least 3 days a week from September

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Re: Hmm ...

Damn pipped at the post (OK 6 hours) for exactly the same thought.

Bezos v Branson: Battle of the wannabe Space Barons as Virgin Galactic cleared by FAA to start flying customers

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Re: intercontinental flights (Going Outside The Atmospehere)

Just as long as it isn't called Spindrift.

Icon - Closest thing to a giant checking his pockets for little people.

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