Posts by The Oncoming Scorn

BOFH: A security issue, you say? Activate code tangerine

& Our Survey Said

So we had an annoymous* employment engagement\moral survey at RACAL (It's been 28 years).

They forbade two departing employees** who were going the next day from taking it.

I wasnt very popular when I mentioned that despite all assurances of anonymity, our team consisted of eight people (Who all held a universal dislike of our micro-managing & full of his own self importance manager) it would hardly be anonymous it would be obvious as to which team the employees were on & the focus of our total loathing*** by the size of our small team.

*Pun intended.

**Funny how virtually every single tech there applied for the role - Which actually was commented on at the interview.

***He got himself on a half day management course at Plymouth & so he was scheduled to leave 45 mins before lunch, but every week he would leave 10 - 15 minutes earlier to visit his side piece to the point where he was gone by 8.05 (He also used to slip off for about 2 - 3 hours to be with her while on nights). We of course said nothing elsewhere, keeping it our team's knowing secret.

Alas the week came that I was off ill & the deputy manager popped down to ask about something of him around 8.45, my colleagues answered truthfully "Hmmm I think Andy's gone to his course in Plymouth, as he's usually gone by now." Manager turned a funny shade of red & summoned him for a "chat" (Pre-cellphone boom, possibly by ringing his wife at home (Ohhh dear) or at the college for his arrival) the next day.

Fortunately during that week off work related illness I applied for a couple of jobs & got myself two job interviews for the following week, one resulted in a job offer. I later heard he'd gone to Swindon to distance himself from the lady concerned.

I'd be careful about doing that, it could be a sac'ing offence.

How is this problem mine, techie asked, while cleaning underground computer

Re: I see your tyre factory and raise you....

Yes I've worked in a slaughterhouse too as the site IT Guy & dealing with grumbling visiting printer tech(s) about blood on his clothing (Partly my fault as I took him in the quick way, rather than 30 minutes spent donning nice white PPE & walking around the facility).

Nice leftover steaks when we had VIP's visiting.

Re: Ah.. the joy...

Damn you I want a proper Ivor Dewdney Pasty* from Sidwell Street now.

Ivor Dewdney pasty was inferred as the company had sold the business to a employee\rival, who was disinclined to remove the exterior signage & the Ivor Dewdney Company couldnt remove it as it wasn't their premises any more. At some point after many lawyers missles back n forth, the interior signage kept the same fonts\artwork but no reference to the ID name. Being ignorant of this, you would get some dark looks if you walked into the other outlets in the area & said you preferred the Sidwell Street ones.

Lawsuit claims Google Maps led dad of two over collapsed bridge to his death

Re: Perception bias

Rory: Uh, Doctor, don't. Seriously, I let her drive my car once.

Amy: Yeah, to the end of the road.

Rory: Yeah. Where, according to Amy, there was an unexpected house.

Re: Common sense?

"If it is true that this bridge has been out for the last decade, a person plugs in the directions to go home and it shows directions going over that bridge, then one would should say oh I shouldn’t go over that because that’s the bridge that’s broken. Isn’t that what most people would do or say to themselves if they live in that community and this bridge has been such an issue? "

"the family had recently moved to the area from Florida so Paxson was unfamiliar with the neighborhood."

&

"When Paxson left, it was dark and raining. He had no knowledge of the collapsed bridge he was being led toward, yet residents were familiar and referred to it as the "Bridge to Nowhere"

What part of that did you fail to notice while reading?

Re: Pointless to complain

"I get stuff delivered to the local bar now."

"I'm just going to get the post darling......back in a bit!"

Scientists suggest possible solution to space-induced bone loss

Re: 'Just One Thing'

Just don't get it from the Nutrimat.

UK judge rates ChatGPT as 'jolly useful' after using it to help write a decision

Oh Dear

"It takes 5 minutes to give the thing to chatGPT and proofread there result,"

Better let the bot do that part too.

Techie labelled 'disgusting filth merchant' by disgusting hypocrite

Re: So let me recap...

I have trouble inserting mine!

Hedge porn & also found a couple of mags in a HST vestibule area.

Having slammed brakes on hiring, Google says it no longer needs quite so many recruiters

Re: Google Bard

The book asks you to write down a random number of any size then turn the page where a number is revealed. If your number and the number in the book matches then you’ve failed the test, you’re a shadow.

Airbus takes its long, thin, plane on a ten-day test campaign

Re: Next up...

There are some (Icon) that would pay a hefty premium to be shrink wrapped like that.

Used cars? Try used car accounts: 15,000 up for grabs online at just $2 a pop

Hmmmm

Just as a precaution I think I'l cover the VIN\ Barcode thats mounted into the dash at the bottom of the windscreen.

Friends don't let friends use AI to chat

Grimwades Syndrome

I'll get my long coat & scarf.

Long-lost 1977 Star Wars X-Wing prop discovered – lock s-foils in bid position

Re: I mostly want

Dr FJ "Fortunately I was able to complete the design before the sex-ray took effect (*As you can see it had absolutely no bearing on the design)"

Classic movie so many great lines, most of which I can't post as I'd have that Google search going through works firewall.

*I think thats one of the next lines.

BMW deems drivers worthy of warmth, ends heated car seat subscription

Re: Only a matter of time

So every time you go to the lavatory, it’s vitally important to get a receipt.

Re: And the jumping up and down...

Sometimes the jumping up & down is because of the heated seats....

Re: Free Heated Seats

Best of luck trying that here in MapleSyrupland* & having to dig your way into your car, as well as digging out your car.

* I got bored of Canadaland.

Not sure I want perpetual heated seats when the temps in Canadaland go to the other extreme of +40C, thats when you want them to be cooled*.

*Yes - That is a option.

Re: Plus

In Canadaland its usually bylaws about leaving a vehicle running unattended\idling for more than 3 minutes except when the temperature goes sub zero.

Any cops that might want to ticket you idling past that time for that while waiting for a 4KM (2.5Mile) or 28571.4286 Linguine long train to crawl past you at a crossing, would have to leave their nice warm patrol cars & walk the 500M or 54.2358 double decker busses distance to your vehicle, walk back to the patrol car, give you the ticket & then walk back to the patrol car.

My truck 5.3L engine idles at about 600RPM as a rough figure, I dont think I've ever seen a "domestic" vehicle idle greater than that.

Missed Edit Window (Work Go Figure)

I also dont want to wait for the Android Head Unit to complete its boot up to get to the heating controls on the fondleslab's screen from when the key is inserted into the ignition (After a 10 minute warmup by remote start), especially when we get one of those infamous 34C temperature changes overnight from a pleasant +17C in the day & waking up the following morning to the onset of Winter (& snow) at -17C when I wake up.

I run a older truck, not ancient, not ultra new, connectivity is limited to the Android radio linked to my phone which Hotspots automatically as soon as it see's the radios Bluetooth ID, not to everything else.

The vast majority of the controls are manual, I updated the radio with a Android head unit.

I dont enjoy having to take eyes off the road & playing stabby stabby with a finger to get a touch screen control to register (Though there are a few physical ones & they also tie into the steering wheel controls).

I dont use the Sat Nav function on it as I prefer to keep my eyes on the road & not looking down & to the right at the screen just above my kneecap - Using my phone on a windscreen mount is safer & more ergonomically comfortable.

However, a vast number of fellow drivers of this truck & varient models post on forums how they have just replaced all the heater, AC, Entertainment etc etc controls with a physical replacement trim & "9 LCD panel.

I prefer to rely on muscle memory to adjust physical controls & leave it to others to qualify for the Darwin awards when they upgrade to tablet controls.

Re: Indicators?

as a BMW driver, I _always_ use blinkers when required

Wearing them doesn't count...

Icon.

IBM Software tells workers: Get back to the office three days a week

Re: A small correction...

IBM also called on the government to also large corporations to allow the use of guns in their HR practices to cull the weak, infirm or those they just considered too expensive.

Due to cost cutting (Have you seen the price of bullets) - Can procurement please get quotes for rough hemp rope & some form of platform with a trapdoor as this is is a greener & cheaper reusable option & will enable us to make improvements on our Net Zero targets

That will be outsourced to their subsidary Killndryl.

My Winter Heating Is Always On

& my home is kept "warm" at about 15C during the (rare) unattended periods of the day, & will heat up on schedule prior to my return, this is especially useful when its -32C outside.

Given the temp extremes I have in this part of the world, I'd WFH if I could.

Watt's the worst thing you can do to a datacenter? Failing to RTFM, electrically

I Wonder What Will Happen If I

Flick the Voltage switch to 110V while it's still working thought a business client of ours one day.

After the smoke cleared he brought it into us, PSU replaced but the MBR on the HDD was screwed resulting in a expensive for him, new HDD, Windows Install & data recovery to the new HDD.

Re: I I be a-goin there, I be-n't start from here

Back in the UK, my workbench at home had a 100W bulb wired in series with a 13A plug for preventing faulty equipment from venting its magic smoke, if there was a fault condition the bulb would faintly glow.

Re: Check the power supply

Spent a morning rebuilding a power supply for offshore work, then Friday lunchtime pub visit, on my return to my bench failed to check the Voltage toggle switch prior to testing & Friday mornings work & a lot of things vented their magic smoke.

Friday afternoon repairing it was a bust (Due to lunchtime) & I did't get the task of repairing it as at 4pm I was told I was going to be sent on a course that someone had dropped out of (Either Montrose for a weeks Offshore firefighting course or Nantes for a two week course on the Syledis positioning system we used, I forget which).

Scientists turn to mid-20th century tech for low-power underwater comms

Re: Impressive

Too busy replaying the Guide Entry on Eccentrica Gallumbits on a loop I expect.

I just typed that with Marvins voice in my head.

PEBCAK problem transformed young techie into grizzled cynical sysadmin

Icon

they were sipping martinis when the brains were handed out.

Over the years it has become evident to me that some users should be very lucky that their bodies have an autonomous nerve system so at least it keeps functioning independent from the presence of any intelligent thought processes. Personally I think that design was a mistake as it kept a few floating in the gene pool that ought to have sunk like a stone..

If you like to play along with the illusion of privacy, smart devices are a dumb idea

Re: Resistance is futile

The number 37 bus will be along in about 2 hours.

Toyota servers ran out of storage, crashed production at 14 plants in Japan

Re: Out of space

It's late, a few beers & its not a easy song to adapt so I didn't get very far, so to the tune of "Oh What A Circus" from Evita....

Oh no more Prius, oh what a blow

Toyota systems have gone down

Over the crash of an update applied at company Nippon

Dishonorable staff got lazy

Dossing about at day and working all night

Falling over themselves to get the data restore done right

Oh no more bZ4X's, they ain't gonna go

When they're crashing the servers down

With management demands that logs will be buried like Eva Peron

It's quite a shutdown

And bad for the company, but in a roundabout way

We've at least made front page of The Register today

Sorry not sorry.....

Mozilla calls cars from 25 automakers 'data privacy nightmares on wheels'

Lucas Prince of Darkness.

"coworkers has a relatively new bimmer and on 3 occasions the entire dash has gone black and rebooted itself while driving. "

You could argue a speeding ticket with that, though jusdging from a lot of BMW drivers, the speedo like the the indicator (Turn signal) is unused by the driver...........

Re: Collecting sexual activity - Top Gear S16 Ep4

Eventually after getting Hammond's car going the three of them went to a forensics lab to see who's car was the most contaminated, to the amusement of the three the man incharge was called John Manlove and when he arrived to give the three of them the results Jeremy asked if they could just call him John cause they were getting the giggles from his surname.

The results of Jeremy's car are read first and the first thing that had been spotted in the car were crisp fragments, there had also been leaves found in the car & some flakes of skin which Jeremy claims were off him. These results showed that presently Jeremy's car was the least contaminated.

The results of James's car were read next and like Jeremy's car had skin fragments in it but some included yellowish skin with blood staining on it (a scab or scabs had been picked in his car). Nasal mucus (bogies) had also been found in the floor of his car and lastly the steering wheel was found to be covered in saliva.

Hammond's car was first found to have had black sports tape with blood staining (Jeremy noted that someone had been bound in the car with James adding that they had then been murdered). Like James's car Richard's also had saliva staining on the steering wheel, but things were now about to get even worse for Hammond. Hairs had also been found in the car but these turned out to be pubic hairs & then they had also discovered feces (excrement) in the car, this result hugely amusing both Clarkson and May.

Having heard the results of what had been found in their cars both Hammond and May took protective measures by wearing gloves and a mask, Hammond however wore a full biohazzard suit.

Icon closest thing to bio-hazard.

Google rebrands 'android' as 'Android' to remove any doubt about its affiliations

Re: Pointless

I'd noticed, but only at those moments when waiting for a phone to restart or on powering a new shiny one out of the box.

The rest of the time it's as relavant as the name of the pig that makes up my bacon sandwich.

Farewell WordPad, we hardly knew ye

Re: slow transformation

I just deny it a network connection.

I'll Miss It

A number of reasons I use it (& I have suggested it to users in the past wanting a simple WP), the main one being Word365 takes longer than ever to load & thanks to work requirements I get nagged into saving it to one of 4 groupings (Which work has failed to apply the mandatory file grouping meta data).

For a quick rattled off simple doc its a quicker option for me & can be saved\printed as a PDF.

BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

Re: I knew my keyboard was doomed

"ohhhh I cant name my sources, very bad , Boris is bad , but not that bad"

Why did I just read that in Tim Choate's* Zathrus voice.

* Crap I diodnt realise he'd died too at 49, fate loves killing B5 cast early.

Re: Quirks for jerks

Gawd I remember those being sold in the 80's at trade shows.

Crap I'm old - Icon.

Him or you?

I'll see your data loss and raise you a security policy violation

Re: Doug.

Dougs dead Dave, everybodies dead Dave.

Norman Lovett is a really nice chap.

I'd have taken her down to the warehouse given her PPE (The sloppy, floppy, steel toecapped overshoes of shame), hard hat, safety glasses & a paperclip, point her at the pallets of PC's (Extra points if they are boxed) shown her how to eject a drive & said..... There you go.

Re: Hunter?

We considered "Hunter" but decided against it lest we find ourselves in a Red File.

Oooh Meeester Callan.

Re: To be fair...

User storing his Excel, Word, Powerpoint, Access files in proper folders for each type.

A shame they were in something like C:\Program Files (x86)\Microsoft Office\root\Office16\Excel (Word, Powerpoint, Access etc).

Come migration & natually his data wasnt present, one his storage location was established...........

Well where else am I going to store them?

How about in My Documents or better still on the server....

What happens when What3Words gets lost in translation?

Re: Was that sheep (singular) or sheep (plural)?

You would have thought that would have been in Wales.

Tesla's purported hands-free 'Elon mode' raises regulator's blood pressure

Re: I for one can't wait till this works

I see so many people step onto roads in Canada on a crosswalk\crossing without looking because the law gives them right of way.

There's quite a lot of various laws about mass, speed, inertia, bone density, squishy flesh, ugly bags of mostly water, thinking distance & stopping distance that would like to give then a clue why stepping out in front of a car without looking is a bad idea.

Tufty Club, Batman*, SPLINK, Green Cross Code Man & a childhood bully who permanently lost out to a car at the age of 7 or 8, taught me to open my bloody eyes as I prepared to & crossed the road.

* Yes really that Batman - https://youtu.be/pFGZs4umeOE?si=Rh6mpvszhAIQr2mK

Microsoft whips out probe after Windows 11 users suffer the blue-screen blues

Re: undirected rambling

"Preparing Automatic Dis-Repair"

FTFY - Have a beer (or several) while you wait for it's inevitable failure.

India lands Chandrayaan-3 spacecraft on Moon, is the first to lunar south pole

Re: Well, I'm guessing Roscosmos is keeping veeeery quiet now

"Don't drink the water. Don't even touch it. Not one drop."