* Posts by Steven Griffiths

30 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Aug 2007

PARIS in 89,000 ft climax

Steven Griffiths
Paris Hilton

Enquiring minds (well, this nosey bastard) need to know...

...will there be a mk. 2? Some of the comments are kind of assuming there will be, but I haven't seen any mention from you guys, apart from Lester saying Hmmmmm twice, which is none too positive. :(

Steve Jobs no ninja, says Apple

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

He just believes xkcd a bit too much...


Do the Webminimum

Steven Griffiths

If you think that's bad...

...try administering Linux servers for five years & then trying to set up IIS. Now that's painful.

Churchill's dentures go under the hammer

Steven Griffiths

We will bite them on the features.

Coat please...

Atheists smite online God poll

Steven Griffiths

Can't vote more than once...

Just gone on to spam it with another few dozen votes, after about the sixth it told me I can't vote more than once.

So they're not only retards for thinking the world's about 6000 years old, they can't count either.

Nissan demos leaning e-car

Steven Griffiths

I prefer the Carver One


Palestine mobile operator struggles for room to breathe

Steven Griffiths



Come on El Reg, if you're going to write stories like this that ignore the obvious reasons then at least give it to someone who knows how to use sarcasm.

Congo major had piss-up with rebels

Steven Griffiths

Age old method...

Looks like the old "get them round, feed them, get them pissed then stab 'em in the nadgers" ploy didn't quite work then...

Note to Americans: The Nadgers - small range of mountains just south of the equator.

Sims 3 leaked two weeks before release

Steven Griffiths

Shurely shome mishtake


"The game was still pirated on a massive scale despite EA's efforts"


"The game was pirated on a massive scale because of EA's efforts"?

Steve Fossett may be alive, investigator claims

Steven Griffiths
Dead Vulture

"We're pretty good at what we do"

We found six other planes while we were looking for him.

Can't be that fucking good then eh? Otherwise you'd have found the others when they went missing.

So it's more like "We're pretty good at what we do when it's someone famous we're looking for, otherwise we generally don't give a shit."

Exploding turnip threat menaces Indiana town

Steven Griffiths

Baldrick attack...

...heh heh heh, a punchline waiting years for a turnip-based bomb threat.

Windows Vista Ultimate SP1 delayed

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

The death throes of a truly poorly OS...

Ah, & within a day of them dropping the Vista retail price, & of their OEM-based activation being well & truly hacked. Beautiful.

Hard drive replacement sparks singed disk situation

Steven Griffiths

Not as pretty as this one...


"It had a nasty rattle to it before we opened it"

No shit...

Gilligan's bomb: Is it time to panic yet?

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

Will you guys start a newspaper or something?

On the rare occasions you print a comment piece like this you get a lot less bullshit per page than any of the scare-mongering ass-wipe rags that pass for newspapers in this country, tabloid or otherwise...

Ofcom cracks down on London pirates

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

Er, something doesn't add up...

"...shut down 22 pirate radio stations... ...arresting three people, raiding one studio..."

So that's one arrest per 7 1/3 radio stations right? Sounds like good odds & a lot of people going shopping for parts to get back up & running.

DfT magicians conjure a nation of car sharers

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Down


Is there a single member of any UK Government department that has a clue of...

A: What the hell they're talking about.

B: How transparent most of the bullshit they come out with is?

Tesla hits ejector button on staff

Steven Griffiths

Bad show chaps...

Not a single pun revolving around the word "shocker". Must be a Monday...

Ransomware Trojan locks up infected PCs

Steven Griffiths

Sounds familiar...

Didn't MS get there first & call it Windows Genuine Advantage?

Antarctic base staff in drunken Xmas punch-up

Steven Griffiths

Meanwhile the search goes on for the other couple...

...who decided to take their differences outside.

Smurf gives Paris Hilton a mouthful

Steven Griffiths
Paris Hilton

And a thousand porn producers...

...go "hmmmmmm..."

Microsoft spits out final XP service pack, beta version

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

encouraging quote...

"Windows XP SP3 does not bring significant portions of Windows Vista functionality to Windows XP."

Well praise be to his noodly self, seeing as though Vista's (dis)functionality is the reason people are avoiding it like the plague, that's surely another reason to stick with XP?

Sysadmin admits trying to axe California power grid

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

Some kind of honorary BOFH award needed here...

...don't you think?

Nvidia GeForce 8800 GT graphics chip

Steven Griffiths

All well & good, however...

...no buggers got 'em in stock anymore. Fair enough releasing something pretty, would be handy if they could actually come out in decent numbers though FFS.

Massive fire on Olympic site

Steven Griffiths
IT Angle

Give it a few months for everyone to forget...

...Then we'll have all them knackered lappy batteries in a fekkin great big bonfire in the East-End when no-one's looking.

Overheard at Sony UK head orifice.

Banking data fears over Fasthosts intruder

Steven Griffiths
Thumb Up

I'm really starting to like Fasthosts...

Coming from someone who works for a much smaller hosting company (who encrypts customers passwords) they've been haemorrhaging customers all year, and everyone else benefits!

Between the ineptitude of the competition (we've benefited from Rackmount's past cockups too) & word of mouth between defectors we haven't had to advertise recently. We've even had a few doing a runner from PlusNet.

Beauty fasthosts, keep it going.

PC superstore suffers breakdown over Linux notebook

Steven Griffiths

Oh what a surprise...

PCWorld in "right hand doesn't know what left hand is doing" shocker...

Well no, I used to work for what they used before the "Tech Guys", in their Sheffield call-centre, & we were always coming across instances where the shop staff, especially the management, didn't have a clue what was happening in the rest of the company(/world). You'd routinely get people in the call centre getting people coming through who'd been told absolute loads of bollocks by the shop staff, & getting set straight by us, we'd even had the odd manager phoning us from the store at national rate, & waiting 3/4 hour in the queue just to ask us what they were supposed to do!

What with the other crap, including but not limited to supplying re-conditioned kit as new, fobbing off customers with un-necessary re-installs (a company favourite), replacing parts with returned kit, & blatantly lying to customers about their rights, they are neither a good company to deal with or work for.

Oh & their payroll department's even absolute shite. When a friend of mine left, they worked out that they'd overpaid him by a grand & a half ish, & sent him an invoice!

PRC forces also ravaging UK gov nets, insist Brits

Steven Griffiths

What's so far-fetched about the idea?

A friend of mine who hosts (amongst other things) a Falun Gong website has been getting attacked from Chinese military IP addresses for months.

Apple slashes iPhone prices

Steven Griffiths

<nelson class="smug">



Nashville strippers finger net forger

Steven Griffiths


Place I used to work at had a new digital laser copier, & used to do a lot of business from students getting certificates copied, which triggered the same kind of anti-copying gubbins & used to come out dark green.

Asked the nice engineer & he turned it off for us, bless. Cue hours of endless fun with single-sided £20 copy spray mounted to the pavement 2 metres away from the shop window.

Data center efficiency - the good, the bad and the way too hot

Steven Griffiths


Shouldn't Friday be capitalised?