* Posts by Jason

12 posts • joined 24 Aug 2007

Shocked Shatner shunted from Star Trek XI




Obviously you've all forgotten Farscape. Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black) FTW!

As for Kirk, I think he must be under the impression he's got cult status like the Hoff or Chuck Norris. Sadly for him his memo was spelt wrong ... it didn't say "People think you're a cult ...".

For those with hangovers "l" and "n" are relatively near each other on the keyboard .... ; )

Bike bonk bloke lands on sex offenders' register


Makes sense now ....

.... why all the people in the gym are sweating and straining so much on the bikes.

All this time I thought it was exercise. Also explains why they wipe 'em down afterwards.

How very considerate.

Poor chap. Can't _quite_ fathom how you hump a bicycle, unless he was "sat" on it .... *shudder*

Japanese diggers unearth dino skull



As supermeerkat has said, God created the entirity of the Universe in 7 days (Not just the world, but the Universe - us Creationists don't go skimping on the Almighties mighty mightyness.) and the Dinosaurs and science and lack of any evidence of higher powers don't mean nothing.

Oh ... wait ... just grew a brain.

Science is right. There is no God and all religion is false.

Shoulda seen that coming really.

Quacky-dinos FTW!

Sony delays launch of PS3 virtual community



So, still no Home for all the fanboys and girls out there.

PS3 and no home - which is what happens when you buy one and realise you can't afford mortgage payments and the games cost the earth each (And, tbh, really aren't that good at all .... )

PS3 - Oh, when will you die the death you deserve. We can only hope that the PS4 is actually a semi decent machine with some kind of uniqueness and not just "more of the same, but later and more expensive".

Eye-O-Sauron™ spy towers still buggy


Battle Royale

With so many gangs, so many guns and so much crime, are we sure this isn't a covert way of putting an infrastructure in place in order to pass a Battle Royale Act much like the movies ?

Keeping people out ? I prefer the thought of keeping 'em in ... and televising it!

Kung fu monks battle Colombian karate assassins


@@@You've misses something

"If Chuck dies and there is no one there to see it, does it really happen?"


"What happens if an unstoppable Chuck meets and imovable Chuck?"

1st - Only if Chuck wills it so.

2nd - This happened in the previous Universe prior to the big bang which created this one. The result was the merging of the two to be the unstoppable and imovable Chuck we now how. He's so hard he survived the cataclysmic end of the previous Universe and the start of this one.

Chuck has already won without fighting in this battle of mortals!


@ You've missed something

"My {insert-martial arts style] master can kick your {insert-martial arts style] master's ass option...

Every martial arts afficionado that I've ever met is convinced of their Master's | Sifu's | Sensei's invincibility..."

Thats because, ultimately, Chuck Norris created all the myriad martial arts forms. The only thing that can defeat a Chuck Norris is another Chuck Norris.

However, Chuck Norris cannot be beaten, even by himself.

This is known as the Two Chuck Paradox and why Chuck Norris must never be allowed to fight himself. To allow it is to bring about the end of all existance.

And James "I'm repressed hence my womanising ways" Bond won't be able to do a single thing about it!

Produce-licking YouTubers attacked by 147-year-old American grocer


Funny as.

Never heard of A&P. Look a bit like Kwik Save to me.

Funny vid and surely when students get sacked they're meant to get petulant and arsey, not the company they work for.

And if the viewer who complained was disgusted and distressed - what the hell are they doing on YouTube ? It's full of far, far, far worse things.

Sounds like a busy body and load of jobs-worth Corps trying to grab some free publicity to me.

Manhunt 2 tweaked to beat US sales ban


Tweaked ...

... so that now you don't kill the gangs, you merely run up and "tag" them.

The next title in the series is going to be the most risque as Manhunt 3: Kiss chase.

Nashville strippers finger net forger


Good lad!

Now, does anyone in the UK know how to photocopy a pound coin and get that lookin' legit .... because there's no way I'm even showing a fake fiver down one of our ropey old stippers thongs!

Isn't US money printed on paper and not the same material as UK money anyway ? Seem to remember that College kids in the US were buying high-end printers and top quality paper and printing up pretty convincing phoney US money....

Teen sticks Xbox 360 power supply in bowl of water



I could have done some good research like yourself there matey, but at the end of the day I didn't feel inclined to log onto Wikipedia and attempt to rehash it's entries regards "redneck" and "Yank".

Seeing as language evolves I was using the terms in their most base meaning;

"Redneck" - Hillbilly, hick, dunce etc

"Yank" - American (As per the other posters commenting on Brits, Limeys, Poms etc)

So, wasn't being racist at all, didn't specify anything about ethnicity.

I was saying that this kid, was, blantantly as dense as the material making up a collapsed star and really shouldn't be allowed to breed when he reaches age.

That's all. ; )



As a teen, and I know this a quite a huge assumption, shouldn't he have been told, at ANY point in his life "Don't put electrical equipment in water!".

Maybe he was just so keen to get online and hurl racist abuse round like most Yanks do on 360Live that in his red-neck opinion it'd work.

As for finding the suggestion online - I'd like to congratulate said author and hope that all people with such problems and lack of IQ follow his suggestion.

Here's hoping the jolt was enough to make the little idiot impotent!


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