Asshat programmers who want to go back to the good old days of taking 7 months to create a steaming pile of crap code that cant pass a basic unit test are what pisses off Scrum Masters and every single business partner.
We are all sick and god damn tired of you ass hat programmers who want to sit around months not working on shite. Yea Agile pisses you off as you have to work. It's transparent so you cant sit around for a week with your crank in your hand watching monkey porn.
But oh yea it's Agile that's the problem not you. Avoid that retrospective at all costs as you just might see what a POS you really are. Can't have any introspection YOU are a GOD YOU are a Java/Lunux/Ruby/Looser Programmer. Oh let is bow down and suck your ass you are so great. That goddamn methodology is the issue! I have to WORK? Screw you! do you know who I am!
Screw all you prima donnas and you holier than thou attitudes. Turn in some unit tested code for a change that is not so bug ridden that it takes 4X the time to fix. What do you say you pay attention for a change when we ask what else you need in planning? What do you say you quit lying your ass off when you have no clue what was asked of you.
In the meantime please keep screaming how bad Agile is.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
