A short play
Scene: MS head office meeting room
Sat_Nad: needs no introduction.
K_B_A : Visionary level Business Analyst AKA Knows Bugger All.
L_B : Public Relations officer AKA Lying Bastard
D_A : Only person in MS identified has having some independent thoughts AKA Devils Advocate.
We need more developers what are we going to do about it?
Sat_Nad : (aimed at L_B )
We are always telling developers how great they are why are they still leaving en mass.
[L_B Opens mouth]
D_A : (interjects)
Cos we keep shitting on them!
Ok, Ok, lets move on. Where are the greatest concentration of developers now? (looks at K_B_A)
From our months of extensive research and analysis we have identified the following organisations which seem to have favour with today's developers...
Sat_Nad : (interjects)
Cut the waffle and give me names!
[Pause as K_B_A rifles through the ream of paper in front of him]
Stackoverflow, SourceForge, GitHub are the top three.
D_A : (rolls his eyes )
I could have written that list on a beer mat over a beer.
Forget Sourceforge, they got tainted a few years back no amount of PR would work if we got involved with them.
As for Stack that would diminish our MS Knowledge base brand.
Ok lets explore GitHub, how are they financially?
K_B_A : ( looking pleased with himself as he is already on the right page )
VC backed, looking to IPO, with projected burn out rate of four years without.
So looking like a cheap buy then.
Can't be too cheap otherwise those VCs may retaliate on our share price. So how many devs would come with this package.
K_B_A : (glancing down at his papers )
Approximately 20 million.
I am liking that number.
You'll be lucky to keep 20% of them.
K_B_A : (looks up from his notes )
We have already been active in this area, we are committing to git and have already muddied the waters with the linux grey beards with our GVFS, this could consolidate this.
What about the private repos, where the money comes in?
We do not have full lists of large scale users at present but this could be ascertained during due diligence without
any risk to us and we would be able to identify those who are not in the MS fold for targeted marketing.
Sat_Nad : (smiling)
Sat_Nad : (at K_B_A)
Work out how much this is going to cost.
This is going to be a rough one get the machinery moving and ready
[Sat_Nad rises to leave]
Oh and don't forget to lock D_A up again, can't have that level of negativity just floating around the company!