Posts by StuntMisanthrope

Tech Shutdown Blows: IT chaos cost Brit bank TSB almost £200m

Do you take cognitive dissonance?

I’m stumped, I really am. As the boss of a bank how much do you have to fuck up the economy before anybody gives a fuck.

It’s like everybody can see the problem, but the coercion and corruption is so pervasive that it’s just allowed to happen. There’s not really any attempt to even make an effort to counteract it.

If you look back through different nations economic history and balance of industrial distribution you can see which periods where the oversight, volume and

Influence happened to coincide with macroeconomic and world history.

The stupidity of it all is that, if that instead of focusing on ever more complex ways of stealing from the hard of thinking, the asymetric flow of money and the failure to invest in anything worthwhile and then they wonder why they are less popular than smallpox.

It just doesn’t make sense. There’s a stampede to exit every major institution and it’s still head in the sand and act like greedy twats without conscience.

I’d love to sit in a board meeting for anthropological reasons to see the type of individual that must exist that just seems to anachronistic to modern society.

I’ve noticed that there was a real nasty side to character, life and each other which doesn’t seem to be prevalent in the more youthful. #thereturnolaussezfaire

Form an orderly queue, people: 31,000 BT staff go to Openreach in October

The Art of ASCII.

WTF are 31,000 people doing? You could build Apollo with less. There really is something wrong here. Each could fancy a pigeon and the delivery would be faster. #longdistanceclara

You're burning £1.2bn for what? UK spending watchdog gives digital court plans a kicking

Re: To the bar. Queens Technologist.

#imallears

Re: To the bar. Queens Technologist.

#thehonestlawyer

To the bar. Queens Technologist.

It’s really simple. It involves 3 people. The machines do the the repetitive work. There’s no outsourced pauper factory. Alongside performance measure and analysis you have to innovate. #restingonyourlaurels

Taps running dry for Capita? Southern Water pens 5-year managed service

Re: Smart Dry Ink

Does the moon cause more leaks at night. #discuss

Smart Dry Ink

No doubt, Southern Water is about as useless as my supplier. After having to basically replumb the basement to even get a “Smart Meter” fitted. The only thing smart is that the idiots don’t have to knock on the door outside. I am one hundred percent convinced that the operation of the utility, will be equally as clever. #timesupoldtimers

Fix this faxing hell! NHS told to stop hanging onto archaic tech

Re: My AI’s called Telex.

It’s also why you can’t get a look in, unless you know a friend of a friend. You’ll make them all look as useless as they are, much like other public services....

My AI’s called Telex.

Having spent some time in hospital recently, as a victim of a weird spider/insect bite. The only successful process was the triage, driven by an ex-military doctor in trainers.

I was paying attention as well. The whole set up needs root and branch process analysis review. The administration is antiquated, slow and run by luddites, who haven’t a clue and fallen for the most basic of comercial tricks, such as decade long contracts, which you have to pay to end and such-like.

I even spent time in psych-ward, the most pythonesque experience, you can imagine, being chased around by women with no pants on. What do you do for a living? Wow, and you talk to your phone! You’re clearly bonkers and are making it up! What I’ve never met you before!? It’s ok the junior idiot is back in on Monday they understand technology...

There are so many areas for efficiency gains and costs savings.

To give you one example alone, it was quicker to find the ECG department on my own, get a scan and take the results back to the funny ward, rather the wait another day for the orderly had wheel-chaired my there and back and hand-delivered the results the next day.

I walked out at the first opportunity when the door was unlocked, before the results were processed and whatever my release from the unit is actually called. #oneflewoverthecuckoosnest

Mastercard goes TITSUP in US, UK: There are some things money can't buy – like uptime

It's a Full House!

Flush with success, our intrepid reporter attempted to buy a round. On the river, as ever. The turn, flopped and the measure missed. However, wit and judgement saved the day, it's known I'm led to believe as the whip hand. #justcountingthehouseofcards #tintinout

UK taxman outlines its CHIEF concerns for customs IT systems

Broken Banks Again...

I wonder how much revenue is lost to the tax man through the ongoing and continued failures of not only not enough legal tender but ongoing payment processing failure. #snip #moreokthenillkeepgoing

East Midlands network-sniffer wails: Openreach, fix my outage-ridden line

Re: Wet behind the ears.

The date? Just checking the forecast! #missedagain

Re: Wet behind the ears.

Can you come when it’s raining. Will that be AM or PM? #justdancin

Wet behind the ears.

I used to have this on a DSL copper circuit every time it rained heavily. Switched to FTTC when it arrived and problem solved. #wellyreboots

GitHub given Windows 9x's awesome and so very modern look

Re: Web 3.0 look

The watchers, watching the key line with composite authority. #snakesandladdersinventedbyanindianfella

Tired sysadmin plugged cable into wrong port, unleashed a 'virus'

Bending the Rules. On fire!

When it comes to all-nighters, wise heads, often set themselves up for the task ahead with a bit of dutch courage. Comms active, confidence in spades and opportunities identified. The secret to success. #hotgirls #moreimportantlyrespect #andlaserjudgement #kingofpool #thenetworkkid d:-)

Cancelled in Crawley? At least your train has free Wi-Fi now, right?

The Politician, In the library, with the withdrawal.

There's a paper, a promise, a fine and they still couldn't spend all the money outside the microwave zone. Guess what, every centre of urban degradation has a correlation. It's a long straight line, with power, but you'll need a compass. #wheresboris #hidingunderribblehead

iPhone 8 now outsells X, and every other phone

Re: Peak phone. Matterhorn.

Can't spell after lunch. #pedant

Peak phone. Matterhorn.

It's a bit like the desktop and productivity software. Unless you're being silly even a cheap android, does virtually everything. Now if your listening. That's one clue. If you're computing. That's another. Porn, even your mum. I want zoom and focus. #giveusachoice #andabigfuckingsolarpanel #youneverknowacleverboysandgirlsbetahardwaretestprogram

ICANN't get no respect: Europe throws Whois privacy plan in the trash

Re: don'tbelievethehype.com

The swamp is wallet deep in these parts.

don'tbelievethehype.com

It's a land grab by ne'er do wells. By luck, you have less financial centralisation and coercion, a technology and entrepreneurial business environment without barriers of entry and the ability to fail fast. Not so, over the pond. #youhavebeenwarned

And in current affairs: Rogue raccoon blacks out city power grid after shocking misstep

Weasel News, Dear boy!

Back after the break with stoat sport and the weather sponsored by Partly Cloudy. #cyrilsneer

Things that make you go hmmm: Do crypto key servers violate GDPR?

50 Curves of Strict Boolean Consent

What is consent? Much like cyber-law and even jurisprudence-lite AI law the only thing that is defined is the invoice for billable time to say we don't know. IANAL but you never hear the corollary. A packet, third-party proxying, bulk data collection, port-mirroring, cryptography all on very shaky ground if you have the tools and the stack expertise. If you read the full GDPR, its 99% about money and 1% about people. Silly. #SpyingisIllegalontheGeneralPublic

California lawmakers: We swear on our avocados we'll pass 'strongest net neutrality protections' in America

Ding, ding. Time at the bar...

You still here? Gone are the days of lock-ins and back-handers. You're unqualified, incompetent and trying to legislate for issues you don't understand, and I hope the gold, assuages, your conscience and hypocracycrisy. We all can tell, as can your children. #thinkofthekids #sleeptight

Banks told: Look, your systems WILL fail. What is your backup plan?

Re: The importance of being earnest!

#oscillationsolvesilliquidity #raise

The importance of being earnest!

Drat and double drat. You've gone and dun' it! The responsibility to all of us, for a functioning system of profitable endeavour is a privilege and necessary. However In bygone times, failure was acceptable, but the standard has now been raised for a multitude of reasons 365/24/7, welcome. #arisingtideliftsallboats #whatwereyouthinking

A £1.3m prize for a plunging share price at BT? Not so fast...

Don’t let the door hit you...

The point is, it’s his responsibility for national infrastructure that’s been run into the ground one way or another.

This costs the entire country, not just the shareholders and front-liners.

Long before my time, though I’ve seen the old stuff, it used to miles ahead and something to be proud of. Now it’s just cut and run whilst looting the till.

The front door’s wide open, the floors not been mopped and bins haven’t been taken out. Now he’s back for the tips.

It’s the reason moats and gang planks were invented. Cliff’s in Nero’s case! #wooosplash (itsacaseofpostlooping);

UK Home Office sheds 70 staff on delayed 4G upgrade to Emergency Services Network

Animal Farm - Banker and Finance.

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” “Man is the only creature that consumes without producing.

It's no different from the private sector.

They don't know what they're doing when it comes to technology. Let me guess. The 140 retained, are in charge of procurement and cost control, and the ones let go, technology and delivery. Is this the same chap that signed of on £36k of meditation. We know the cause, when is solution being finessed. #iminchargeyourecrapwhyimincharge

Elon Musk finally admits Tesla is building its own custom AI chips

Holly’s engaged Dave, I’ll put you on hold!

Tuned parallel multicore SoC with onboard preloaded petabyte storage and learning capability. #itsabitbig #wegonnaneedabiggerarray

Uncle Sam is shocked, SHOCKED to find dark-web bazaars trading drugs, weapons, etc

Refund please...

It's not really a lot is it, multiple agents, years of man hours, ages to prosecute and the kingpins locked up. Meanwhile, humanity roll's on. It just seems there's a better way. In another headline there's now a new prescription drug which prevents seizures by using CBD at an unknown cost margin but it's not going to be cheaper even with control and tax overheads. Put it this way, if you're any good, there's billions on the table. Remember kids. Drugs: Caution. #rootandbranch

Meet TLBleed: A crypto-key-leaking CPU attack that Intel reckons we shouldn't worry about

Snake balls.

The HR guy has performed a coup on the accountant, but the vote noted character, the numbers up however, but still the pants are down. #stillleaking #moshkapatam #stolenbymiltonbradley

Intel CEO Brian Krzanich quits biz after fling with coworker rumbled

Chaps (and I might be hallucinating, a girl), I don't Adam an Eve it!?!

Even Chipzilla's been infiltrated, there's only one board member and brain left, keep a close eye or it'll be curtains. #yesspellingandcountin

Re: The Blue Chip Business...

Whilst we're talking of bored wankers, within the CxO suite, there's a few of other titular vocations that could perform on demand...

The Blue Chip Business...

There's only one rule, don't get caught with your hands down your pants, unless there's a ring on it?! #zeroswherethemoneysat #itsbehindyou #toosoon

Visa fingers 'very rare' data centre switch glitch for payment meltdown

Re: VisaNet

Sounds exciting, bah dum bum dum! However, got this this strange feeling that they've blown it and cash is king after all. #medicischool

Ailing ZX Spectrum reboot firm kicks crisis meeting into long grass

No money back, no guarantee.

On the upside, send a quill written small claim form in, they don't even bother to read them anymore in the the outsourced workhouse, jobs a good 'un! #itsinthedefencebasket #lessthanamonthforaworkingprototypethoughsixweeksifyourecounting

Shiny new Capita boss to UK.gov: I know you are but what am I?

Breach of contract!

Tell him to fuck off or expect more of the same, a finance department with a productive afterthought...#adamsmithwasrightwiththemissingchapter #takeanaxe #comops

Bank of England to set new standards for when IT goes bad

Government Infrastructure as a Service.

It's time, it really is, national basic banking for everyone. Income or credits in. Personal tax/NI out. Its a just a data-centre with a Government mandate. Opensource payment API's as the standard. The clever bits can be fought over. #productivity #industry #UKstandard

CIOs planning to snub Oracle for other cloudy vendors – analyst

Check raise.

All banks are great. Please take the piss more. #threelettercards

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

Small Change is the essential process of all existence...

Could be a trap, Captain. They may be attempting to create a warp-field!? #warpbubble #alphamemory

Dixons Carphone 'fesses to mega-breach: Probes 'attempt to compromise' 5.9m payment cards

Attack Vector Warranty - 2 Year Cover.

Might start selling these on the forum. #thespreadsheetislegal #howzat #strike

Audit of DeepMind deal with NHS trust: It checks out, nothing to see here

The work is before the lawful event.

But its new, we'll send you an invoice anyway, as we're making it up. What do you mean It's half a century late! #conceptualjurisprudence

Low AI rollout caused by dumb, fashion-victim management – Gartner

Re: New character. The PHB's source. Fuckwit.

Ssssh, you asked your boy with the calculator about #codswallop Yep. We’re in the market.

New character. The PHB's source. Fuckwit.

Garnter's accuracy with the crystal ball. 0%. Gartner's conflict of interest. 100%. #bungmethecashtheinternshot

BT announces Gavin Patterson to become ex-CEO

Re: Donations for the Gite Fund!

I’ll hold the record for new leased fibre provisioning in central London. Nearly 5 years and a had to social engineer the subcontractor to get half a circuit BTW

Donations for the Gite Fund!

So to recap, free broadcasting centre, paid for by us,

OpenReach a shambles and still notspots everywhere, zero sign of any innovation, bills still being received for properties with other geographical numbers, no open mesh network which has been through at least 4 names and with routers everywhere, losing margin share by a BT:NPower factor and Jobs binned/prices to keep bonus ratio above, cricked my neck and the ruining of Plusnet who cannot bill two business circuits to the same address concurrently. #imightevenbuyashare

Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

This is medal worthy, surely!

Don't tell 'em your name. #pike

Automation won’t take your job until the next recession threatens it

Boo!

#thatisall #makeortakewouldbeabettertitle

I see a satellite of a man ... Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, that's now 4 sats fit to go

Here's the juice!

You missed the bit about; Bohemia and rhapsody, the clue was elemental. You can bootstrap to nowhere or give it a moonshot. #buttonsandspoons