Posts by StuntMisanthrope

Brits shun country life over phone not-spot fears

Correlation Parties Number.

Much like finding a politician who puts their representatives before personal ideology, can anyone name a telecommunications company which hasn't been ruined by a collective of paper-based simple beady-eyed types in the microwave zone.

There have been millions of fines promised and billions of investment to spend, alongside white-papers in the library, which haven't been read or checked out by anyone. They couldn't even spend the money.

What you also might notice if you could get a signal, is that the worst areas of urban degeneration and poverty haven't had a shred of interest. Potentially the fastest growing market of all. Ignore the opportunity, hoard the cash and fail to invest in technology and education, sounds like the institution as well. #knockknock

Six critical systems, four months to Brexit – and no completed testing

Polical Outsourcing.

Get the Japanese fella in, it'll be an improvement. #cranestyle #joeespositofanclub

That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you

Fancy a drink?

Here’s my number, it’s the same as my balance. I’m duplicitous if you’re asking. #whattookyousolong

Between you, me and that dodgy-looking USB: A little bit of paranoia never hurt anyone

Gambit, thats my favorite, misdirection.

The only thing that cannot be bought is consideration, took me forever to learn that one. #whendidthathappen

Junior dev decides to clear space for brewing boss, doesn't know what 'LDF' is, sooo...

How low can you go.

Stitching the bits to make a pass. Repeat after me. You can never have enough back-ups and never delete anything. #checkmate

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

A new list...

I need one of those, USB 1.0A to satellite JDAM cables. Is this your first day? 3.5" drives, Cisco routers with cables and a Blackberry clutch. Hands off. #yesofficeritsanecoboiler

If Shadow Home Sec Diane Abbott can be reeled in by phishers, truly no one is safe

Press Any key.

How do you measure someone who's is good on computers, which discipline, what standard. Is it a secret, might be, or is it public experience and money in the bank. Can you abstract the irreversible. Just yesterday's chip paper after all. Yes, B.O.S.S. I saw that one coming, could've been worse. #gammabitflipspacetimeoverflow

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

No call for young philosophers..

In this day and age, we all work in technology. I raise you John Locke, see you Gustav Kirchoff and since it seems to have been never translated properly, for the win, Konstantin Tsiolkovsky. However, just for the dinosaurs, Mary Anning. #stonesoup

Haha, good times: Larry Ellison regales noobs about when Oracle staff almost didn't get paid

Mine doesn't fit on a dick pick.

Louder and wider, I reckon it's less than a 1/5th of the global population. #basemetal

GitHub lost a network link for 43 seconds, went TITSUP for a day

Re: We use Orchestrator

On a plus note, I like the idea of a rolling board, helps to sleep at night especially with regards to day at the same time. #rest

Re: We use Orchestrator

I think it’s about 15 miles apart, though I’ve heard it’s gone up a bit with your own string. d:-)

Pirate radio = drug dealing and municipal broadband is anti-competitive censorship

Re: An invoice, no I’m a lawyer.

P.S. Remember that fillum, where the hero, passes the bar exam, just by turning up. It’s a documentary. #doyoutakecheque

An invoice, no I’m a lawyer.

Having been on the receiving end of ‘ahem’ your disgrace to a derivative of our common law system, which is really sayin’ something. I understand why all the extradition treaties are unilateral. You wouldn’t have any ‘defenders’ of freedom left. #icanbuyyouacoupleofdays #itsbackedbyguvmint

Britain's rail ticket-booking systems go TITSUP*

The liability is delayed.

Since the only reason any of these contracts get award is the ridiculous cost of pitch and the liability cover, as opposed to any sort of competence other than shovelling money and entertainment. Surely it’s time to claim a refund. That goes for the hardware failure as well, be it the pointy wirey things or the borrowed worn out machinery.

For the record, selling off the property, for less than the annual rent, to your soon to be partners, is a fucking national scandal. #hydrogengoesbang

Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

Ultraviolet Hat

With bags of cash, might be a lot this happening in the next. Fuck, they're lethal as well, might be the t-shirts that's the secret as well. #productivity

Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere

Computers Anonymous: Live

The meetings are held once a week, at the same geo-location. The first visit, is always the hardest, having to stand up among peers and after holding back, in safe hands, it's okay to release or so I've been told.

Usually those that have the least to hide, fear the most, though it has to be said, the green among us, after practice, tend to get their comeuppance. #twelvesteps #splash

N.B. I was going for Nautilus, but see above.

Erm... what did you say again, dear reader?

Re: #cognitivevelocity

Balls, youth calling. TLDR and didn't listen as it wasn't a tweet. I'll have you on Wittgenstein,

I think its something to do with German language structure on English plus if you fiddle with the nuance in the translations, you can sort of see what he was getting at.

The problem is no-one has clue what you're on about half-time. #newlist #MCBigPopper

#cognitivevelocity

It's new and has a department. It fits anywhere, particularly in the pause whilst I'm waiting. It's also become a thing in other situations, discussed on the radio, TV broadcast, in newspapers, at the bank, top of the charts and first in school. On the end of a cheque or in the tips jar. Mark my words. #cognitivevelocity

UK defence secretary ponders £50m hit to terminate Capita recruiting contract

Re: Word of mouth.

Just checked, it'll tick the AI box but the IoT chequebook will be steep.

Re: Word of mouth.

It's more of a penknife, for you know paying the bills and no it's not wordpress.

Re: Word of mouth.

It can do that too.

Re: Word of mouth.

Forgot to mention, it's got geo, multiple sites and brands too. #withfreepaymentgateway

Word of mouth.

Send the 50m over, I've built a few, battle tested for 160k users per month, seasonal uplift with candidate profiling, used by more than one multinational in past, usually until the top job changes and it goes downhill with a old/new supplier. You'll just have to change the pictures and a few words. #jobboard #anotherbottleofnavajota

Cabinet Office: Forget about Verify – look at our 3,000 designers (and 56 meetups)

Re: With all those designers ...

No that's needed for the all the beacons and trackers for your mates start-up. #solyentdata #blackaddercapital

Re: You've lost me at B Ark.

Since it's a Monday and erectile dysfunction/perfomance anxiety is on the radio. What's your coffee of choice? #maxwellhouse

You've lost me at B Ark.

Our recruitment policy, used to consist of about three questions. Along the lines of: What's the answer? Daemon; extrapolate? It's your round? Wearing a dress was an automatic hire, as we could teach the rest and its good for team balance plus turning up showed remarkable intuition and radar. #youcancodeinmeetings

Your pal in IT quits. Her last words: 'Converged infrastructure...' What does it all mean? We think we can explain

Back to the middle and round again!

Did you reckon the Boss knew there was a limit to VLANS. #buyakettle

Hate to burst your Hubble: Science stops as boffins scramble to diagnose gyro problem

Off axis heavy bit.

I'd take a photograph, however it doesn't measure up. #suprise #pardon

On the third day of Windows Microsoft gave to me: A file-munching run of DELTREE

Just stick the GUI on debian.

The theory is corporate and people are paid to follow instructions. The home user is not and can't be trusted especially when trying to be clever. Just call it home and stick it next to etc. You can keep the old bits for a while in /reg. #irony

It's over 9,000! Boffin-baffling microquasar has power that makes the LHC look like a kid's toy

Re: Poor Alderaan

With a nD infinity value. Like an infinite falling corkscrew or the opposite ergo surface matter. #trappistbeer ∂:-)

Re: PINGAMMA

#electronbitflipattack

Re: PINGAMMA

L4 if that's the one in front, with a chemical signature and lasers. #bitcoinforwater #perfectpangram

PINGAMMA

I want one of those HERMES things in space, outside the bow-shock with a microphone. #vacuumphone

Convenient switch hides an inconvenient truth

Buy Anecdote Industries AI

I'm sure I read years ago on another board, the original cause of the 1987 Wall Street crash was a VAX fuck up and by the time it was fixed, disaster had ensued. #hesaidshesaidpullthecableohdear

N.B. I wouldn't touch the power in a Yankee DC with yours.

Apple macOS Mojave: There's goth mode but developers will have to wait for the juicy stuff

A unicorn and a eagle crest!

Magic, back to scripting my life and surfing the web. #theonewiththeantimacassar

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

M'aidez SOC Alexa.

Voice signature, local zone, cache 24 hour commands, retrieve and status. Proxy security to manual. Alert reconnect. Cache warning on fill, erase. Music:ON. #shieldsup #iLovethefeelingofwoodintheAM

Big Cable tells US government: Now's not the time to talk about internet speeds – just give us the money

Re: TLDR Ad Nauseum

Ran out of time, forgot to mention that there's a direct correlation between outlying urban degeneration and coverage, service and subsidy. Why you would want to not access potentially a faster growing wealth market segment, must be obvious to you, but lost on me. #itscalledamapthatsthekey

TLDR Ad Nauseum

Is this the one where, we didn't spend the money ages ago, it's all a bit rubbish, everyone original has left, with pockets full off cash, the corporate structure is lop-sided and things are starting to wear out. I've got a plan however, we'll not outsource anymore jobs overseas in your backyard if you prevent upstart competition, rig the game and bung us a load of cash, we'll give you a bit though for the re-election and don't forget that (unqualified) clause to make things a bit more counter-productive and expensive. #cantputmyfingeronit

Developer goes rogue, shoots four colleagues at ERP code maker

Democide.

There have been more people killed by firearm in the last century in the USA than all the other wars combined in history worldwide. The 2nd amendment has no mention of ownership either. I would ban outright all weapons with the exception of very limited recreational and safety usage by leaseholder.

#statisticsneverdie

Sealed with an XSS: IT pros urge Lloyds Group to avoid web cross talk

RPI.basketofeggs.com

Seem to have lost access to the Barclays story. Must be another out and in the river it’s a full house at the head shed. All the cards except the joker. Might be a double deck with 8 of a kind. #imallout

Put your tin-foil hats on! Wi-Fi can be used to guesstimate number of people hidden in a room

Ground Floor Wine Cellar - Navajho 1868

System Access Management, per device on location by time. It's all acronym soup to me. #whatsyournameagain

No wonder Oracle exec Kurian legged it – sky darkens as cloudy tech does not make it rain

Yo, rescheduled? Scotland... really!

Yup, it's in Canada, lakes and boats or something. That's not what I've heard? #catspyjamas

A basement of broken kit, zero budget – now get the team running

Re: No, no, no, a presentation is required.

Yes boss, two but a lightweight spec. #onthedouble

No, no, no, a presentation is required.

There's always budget to be found, from the treasurer. An exercise in bait and shiny, usually proffers the good stuff. Standards are slipping, I tell thee. #itarrivedlikethat

Probably for the best: Apple makes sure eSIMs won't nuke the operators

Re: A phone that fits northerns shovels.

Forgot to mention the cryptography on physical SIM's is intentionally broken, for obvious purposes and mine's the A12 eSim 5G Apple TV/Gaming console and every other product line. With short-range wireless power. #dualchipwithvms #chisel

A phone that fits northerns shovels.

The most important announcement of the day. Two reasons. Phone operators are rubbish. Particularly with transatlantic support. Verizon (by market and software design) don't know that there's a world outside of a zipcode, you can barely dial a number on some models and native two number support isn't.

Also, if you work in a recorded industry to prevent theft and greed. There's more than one global operator with clever integrated back-ends that will be dancing with joy. Also £1050 is less than two current iPhones.

Also can someone make a full size thin solar panel. The large form factor is more popular than the small.

#buyanoperator #dontlookinthehandbag

The Reg takes the US government's insider threat training course

3 packets of crisps.

Or helper, thinker, leader and hub. I kid you not, right there in the classroom, Salt & Vinegar, Cheese & Onion and Ready Salted. #ad

Lenovo Thinkpad X280: Choosing a light luggable isn't so easy

Where art thou, Sapper?

I used to love my X31 with extended battery, docking station and extra bits for emergencies, you could throw it in a board meeting and it was the swiss-army knife for anything and everything, I even saw a ThinkPad in MOMA. #longerbeacapulet

Article 13 pits Big Tech and bots against European creatives

You can’t change money in a French bank.

Why are there no tier one European technology software corporations. It’s just the same old protectionism. You fucked the investment when you had the chance and FinTech is more of the same. #shameonyou

Brit armed forces still don't have enough techies, thunder MPs

I need a lie down.

Met an OpenReach chap, ex military, stationed out of Garrison town up north. The task was a new business park, but f**k me what a skill-set, from copper, through USB1.0A/B (20 year old HP plotter onsite) chipset/software debugging and battlefield tech to satellites with smart ordnance.

I asked the same question, it appears the pension force is strong with the departures and new family alongside previous income levels, steady employment also with pension is a new home-owners prerogative, otherwise you haven't a chance. #openreachpraise #infrastructure

(The client was left with an impression of leet twin jedi performance, like you wouldn't believe.)