Posts by Stretch

BT 118 phone number fee howler lands telco giant with £225k fine

"we are happy to continue to do so"

"they can pry it from our cold dead hands"

Fixed.

Apple asks judge to axe ebook price-fixing watchdog

Waaaaaaaaaaah!

He won't let us gouge the sheeple and he keeps looking at the illegal things we are doing! Waaaaaaaah!

"the guy is deliberately causing trouble and making life difficult for Apple."

Then I, for one, would like to give him a cookie.

Virgin Media spanked by ad watchdog over 'in your neighbourhood' fibs

Cheaper to spam the whole postcode than actually figure out who can get it.

All direct advertising should be banned frankly.

IBM spends holiday season wrangling e-tail FAIL

Should have bought Hybris

The Pirate Bay changes domain again … TWICE!

club-a-seal

BT warned: Speed up Openreach repairs or face PUNITIVE FINES

Re: Ever seen an Openreach van in a hurry ?

There's one parked in the road opposite. I assume he works 9 to 5. He goes very late and he comes home very early.

Beauty firm Avon sticks spike heel into $125m SAP-based sales project

Its a shame but..

...SAP just borged the ecommerce platform I do most of my work with. They're going to kill it :(

Problem with SAP is that its ALL third party products. Everything with SAP written on it is just another third party product bolted on. Most of the time the things they sell don't even work together or have massive feature overlap.

NSA alleges 'BIOS plot to destroy PCs'

Re: extra judicial killings

murder is murder regardless of how much money the perp has

Brilliant Brit bloke builds breakfast-belching BACON DRONE

I had wondered what this guy had got up to...

...loved his animation work.

www.rathergood.com

NO XMAS PRESENTS FOR Google Now and Siri: Chirpy scamps get a C+

Cheese mints

ask Google Now about "achievements". It insists these are Cheese Mints.

Microsoft: Don't listen to 4chan ... especially the bit about bricking Xbox Ones

lulz

I for one sent the "shiteOS makes your phone waterproof" to all the fanbois i could.

Malware+pr0n surge follows police op to kill illicit streaming sites

lot of use of words like "criminal" and "illegal". this is all guff. its a civil matter and the police should have no involvement.

'Don't hate on me for my job!' Googlers caught up in SF rent protest ruckus

Come to London, see how its properly done badly

We have rents of 1200 a WEEK and a nightmarish hell of terrible public transport run by overpaid nazis. So shut the hell up yanks. You have more space than you know what to do with and more money than sense.

To fel with you! There's an NSA spook in my World of Warcraft

Dirge

Inside Steve Ballmer’s fondleslab rear-guard action

"PCs have simply become so good that they don't currently need to be replaced"

I agree with your general point if not the exact reason. The hardware has progressed to the point that the software most of us use doesn't force an upgrade quite so often.

Apart from us gamers that is. There's always more triangles.

Oh no, RBS has gone titsup again... but is it JUST BAD LUCK?

Banking industry are nothing compared to Insurance for legacy

having worked for a few years in one of the biggest insurer's IT department I can tell you that the banks don't even come close in the "piles and piles of legacy" stakes

mmmm CICS/COBOL. Job for life tbh.

D-Link FINALLY slams shut 'Joel's backdoor'

Joel is sooo sacked.

Think Amazon is CHEAP? Just take a look at these cloudy graphs...

could you rewrite without using the word cloud please

Amazon Web Services opens can of whoop-AAS on as-a-service rivals

Can the register, as a publication aimed at those with a clue, avoid the nonsense word Cloud?

Amazon floats 'Prime Air' drone delivery plan

Free DVDs with every Butterfly Net purchased!

Just who is Apple's most frustrated fanboi? Surprise – it's GOOGLE

Hell on earth

"There was a time when Macs were a small part of the Google fleet, but as of now if you start at Google and want to use a platform other than Mac you have to make a business case," says Clay.

I mean, oh my god, can you imagine a worse or deeper hell?

'You're BEAUTIFUL when you're angry' 'You SEXIST PIG!' Xbox One's fresh brouhaha

total sense of humour failure on a epic scale there

VIOLENT video games make KIDS SMARTER – more violent the BETTER

that most are designed by medical practitioners, teachers and researchers, who don't ...

...know jack shit.

Fixed!

Google, please DRILL through Great Firewall of China with your HTTPS LANCE

Blocking GitHub was the best thing they ever did

Brits to do £5bn worth of their Christmas shopping online

In. Store. Two. Words. No-need to-hyphenate all-your-words.

Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

Move faster I'm waiting for my order!!

Xbox One FAILS to beat PS3 - yes, PS 3 - week one sales

@ DijitulSupport

Yes. In fact the PS3 was the only BlueRay player available at the time that fully implemented the spec.

But who could buy anything from SCEE now? We know Sony hates us. Years of experience have taught us this.

Those Xbox One first-day glitches: GREEN screens of DEATH, disc crunching

1% failure rate?

They seem to suggest this is not appallingly bad!

Half-blind Glassholes rejoice! 'Prescription' Google goggles a-comin'

Gief.

US Judge strikes out COMPUTER/HUMAN LOVE patent

Um...

" Such a principle would lead to the absurd result of allowing the patenting the computerized use of even the most basic abstract ideas"

Right, who's going to tell her? This is exactly what we have now... scroll and bounce anyone?

Who wants a Xeon-powered, 12-core, RAID 10 … LAPTOP?

what does it get on LinPack?

Anyway, "server replacement"? An Amazon EC2 instance doesn't weigh anything...

PlayStation 4 a doddle to fix: Handy if it OVERHEATS, for instance

Why sneak in the apple advert at the end?

What's wrong with network monitoring tools? Where do I start...

Your job relies on the lack of availability of the above. If such as thing existed you would find it only in use in India, as quickly real professionals such as yourself would be burnt in favour of cheap idiots.

XBOX One SHOT DEAD by Redmond following delivery blunder

Re: lol

Purchased. He bought it. Some muppets might believe they can "license" use and enforce their silly EULA. But they are mistaken. What they CAN do is attempt to prevent you from using services. But this is always based on a unique id, and as you purchased the system you can always change this id via enough know how and effort.

Adobe exec puffs cloud shop: Online features are so 'compelling'... What are they again?

"super traditionalists"

Us "super traditionalists" use MSPaint frankly.

Apple kicks iStuff-sniffer out of App Store

Re: So the T&Cs of Apples web site

You can't "own" a fact.

Re: Handy tip

A cookie for that man

BT's new boss reports flat sales and pre-tax profit tumble

Re: BT continual renaming of products and overly complex website.

Shite- is already taken by Crapple, shame for BT.

The Colosseum, Hagia Sophia, Tower of London... and, er, Steve Jobs' GARAGE

Re: Find the odd thing out

"built with the money he should have been giving to his illegitimate children" fixed that for you.

Someone burn the place down would they?

Want to go to billionaire Sun kingpin's beach? Hope you're a strong swimmer

ignore the twat. go to the beach anyway. You've all got guns anyway, have a shoot out about it.

Want to keep the users happy? Don't call them users for a start

Re: Nomenclature for those who use

Wrong! "They" are just parts of the software that has yet to be written. They'll be automated out of the building eventually.

And, personally, "non-technical" is my most damning insult.

Infosys set for $35m fine over US visa naughtiness

Re: Not just a US problem

"However, lots of TCS / Infosys / Wipro employees come over on short term visas and are definitely not paid market rates."

Yes well you get what you pay for.

"We criticise Apple a lot on The Register, they have at least started to reverse the trend with their higher cost MacPro and iMacs."

Nonsense. They are amongst the worst offenders.

Digital radio may replace FM altogether - even though nobody wants it

Bought a brand new car just 2 months ago. Does it have DAB? Of course not, no cars ship with DAB.

Cook: Apple 'so very, very proud to be a FORCE FOR GOOD'

omg these evil scumbags.

'Thousands of iPhone, iPad apps' vulnerable to simple redirect joyriders

As much as I hate Crapple...

...and everything and everyone with any hint of association to them such as owning any of their products...

...this is not their fault or anything to do with the platform. This is HTTP and this is not a "vulnerability" in any specific application. Why would i need to 301 the original request anyway - if I have already Man-in-Middled you then there are far more effective things I can do.

Reply-all email lightning storm STRIKES TWICE at Cisco

This used to happen weekly back at Accenture, and always made much worse by the poorly trained muppets they use to write the code out in countries to stay nameless.

Ubisoft's Watch Dogs muzzled by delays

Re: Hmm... a new variation of "won't anyone think of the children", I see.

Uplink was awesome and the first game in ages to actually get my pulse racing

Leaky security could scuttle global ship-tracking system

They exist to provide a handy embezzlement mechanism, hence all the billions sent to them to be spent with no accountability. Very useful indeed for siphoning public money off into your bank accounts.

Hmm maybe this should have been anonymous....

BSkyB profit knocked by BT footie struggle and O2 broadband costs

Re: "having a computer requires a TV licence"

Also, if you have a TV capture card this requires a license regardless of its use.

o2 customer...

... screwed over, sold to sky, price doubles, quality plummets.