Posts by Stretch

ServiceNow pulls on its platforms, talks up machine learning, analytics in biggest release since ex-SAP boss took reins

ServiceNow is great

We used to use Jira which meant lots of tickets.

Now we are forced to use ServiceNow which means no more tickets as its so unusable and crap.

I love it. Now we get on with things I want done instead of solving tickets!

SAP's cloud revenues swell 45% – just don't ask about the gaping €136m hole in profits

No mention of hybris, but you talk about C/4HANA vapourware... Maybe you should look into this a bit more.

Just when you thought it was safe to go ahead with microservices... along comes serverless

always fun to watch what bullshit the consultants are pushing these days. Surely after "serverless" we'll get "codeless" where you just wish for something to happen and it magically happens.

We're not the 'world leader' in electric cars, Nissan insists

I disagree with the ASA here. If my CV reads "Programmer since 1992" I don't think anyone will think I am the only programmer in the world.

Node.js forks again – this time it's a war of words over anti-sex-pest codes of conduct

"participation in our project and our community a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of age, body size, disability, ethnicity, gender identity and expression, level of experience, nationality, personal appearance, race, religion, or sexual identity and orientation"

Does not extend to those who indent with spaces. Burn them!

Re: Yawn

The use of word "left" is the new Godwin's Law fail tbh.

Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired

Re: Go Samsung!

"As Win 10 users are well-aware, you don't always have a choice."

Set your network to "metered" and live in a world of blissful lack of updates.

GitHub's CEO resigns. Again. Without scandal, after fixing messes

Don't link to Forbes, they do not have a website. I've told you before.

We're into lap 21 and Node.js features have again overtaken those attempting to teach it

Re: The snark about Node and server-side JavaScript

Go, Ruby AND Node? You have so much to answer for. If i ever have fix another shitty ruby app it will be too soon.

"tech dinosaur" Love it! "You ain't using the latest buzzwords you DINOSAUR" Just wait till some child laughs at you and says "no one uses Javascript anymore, Granddad."

Can't believe that there is any dumbass dimwitted enough to run node.js or any javascript as a server application. Go learn Java.

Latest Windows 10 preview lets users link an Android to their PC

Re: HDR still broken?

Wait... You installed an UPDATE? To Windows?!?! Madness. Updates only remove functionality you were using and introduce new bugs. Set your internet connection to metered and turn off updates NOW.

Atlassian wants you to put all your eggs in one Bitbucket and beyond

Re: Atlassian a mixed bag

There's plugins for builds on PR https://github.com/RichRelevance/StashPRTriggerPlugin

America's mystery X-37B space drone lands after two years in orbit

Who else hears...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WczHADTsIec

A spanner in the works: Google's cloud database hits beta, gets prices

Google can't be trusted with anything like this. They will randomly remove the entire database tech in a few short months, saying you were wrong for using it in the first place.

Office Depot halts PC Health Checks amid bogus infection claims

Re: Shocked I tell you!

@Gary installing Linux on someone's laptop is assault. I had to resurrect my sister-in-law's after a "friend" of her husband turned it into an unusable brick by pulling that shite. You should cease and desist with such actions.

PlayStation 4 probs: Gamers struggle with PSVR headset blackouts

Reset expectations

Having purchased a Sony product you should already be aware that they do not provide any sort of customer service or after sales care. This is not the point of the company. No money is made this way so why would they do it? if your Sony product is broken you have two choices: Buy something else, or do not buy something else.

Puny galaxy packs a big punch: A gazillion joules' worth of radio bursts

Re: That is big

Nice idea hekla but I would suggest that a more appropriate measure of energy is Duracell Bunnies. So this FRB is equivalent to 30 Billion KiloBunnyHours or something :)

Uber's self-driving cars can't handle bike lanes, forcing drivers to kill autonomous mode

the world's authorities

What? Putin? Maybe if you ask him nicely.

Algorithm advance alleviates AI amnesia

Re: Why the rush for AI?

because they want to be paid, pesky humans.

The sharks of AI will attack expensive and scarce workers faster than they eat drivers

Basic misunderstanding how AI works

The AIs will ace the exams. Eventually no one will want a meatsack to represent them. Much better than have a decent AI that won't rip you off.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Spotify serving malware, no escape from reality

EZBlocker

Use it. Now you are safe.

Apple's Breaxit scandal: Frenchman smashes up €50,000 of iThings with his big metal balls

I value the damage at €0. Also, does he need another to pay his bail?

ZX Spectrum Vega+ will ship on time, developer claims amid doubts

will it authentically crash?

The Great British domain name rip-off: Overcharged .uk customers help pay for cheaper .vodka

Cross-subsidisation

"where a company charges higher prices to one group of consumers to subsidise lower prices for another group."

Sorry i thought this was called "living in the UK"

Brexit will happen. The EU GDPR will happen. You can't avoid either

Civil War

More people need to be talking about taking up arms against the racists.

Oracle happy to let Apache Foundation adopt NetBeans

"“I'm worried that anyone is still using java to be honest"

Idiot.

Sysadmins: Poor capacity planning is not our fault

Re: But....

Totally with you on the log files.

Once was asked to look at a slow program on an AS/400. Dug into it a little to see it was logging "The message is " + xml every other line. Set log level to ERROR and box runs 3x quicker. Hailed as a miracle worker.

EU verdict: Apple received €13bn in illegal tax benefits from Ireland

how'd you like them apples

Europe to order Apple to cough up 'one beeellion Euros in back taxes'

Breaking News

Its £11 Billion! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-37220799

How'd you like them Apples!

SpaceX Dragon capsule lands in Pacific carrying 12 moustronauts

Yey for the mice!

"Boffins will harvest the mice organs for study"

Oh... Shit.

Tech fails miserably in Forbes' most innovative companies

How do you even know what's on the list?

Forbes doesn't have a website. If you go there it whines about adblocking and shows nothing. So they don't have a website, they don't actually exist, there is no list.

'Second Earth' exoplanet found right under our noses – just four light years away

Re: Solar Flares?

"Red dwarfs are far more variable and violent than their more stable, larger cousins. Often they are covered in starspots that can dim their emitted light by up to 40% for months at a time.... At other times, red dwarfs emit gigantic flares that can double their brightness in a matter of minutes" Says https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habitability_of_red_dwarf_systems#Variability

Stephen Baxter

Surprised no one has mentioned the similarities to Stephen Baxter's novel Proxima:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00E0JYS8M/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

"Proxima Centauri, an undistinguished red dwarf star, is the nearest star to our sun - and (in this fiction), the nearest to host a world, Proxima IV, habitable by humans. But Proxima IV is unlike Earth in many ways. Huddling close to the warmth, orbiting in weeks, it keeps one face to its parent star at all times. The 'substellar point', with the star forever overhead, is a blasted desert, and the 'antistellar point' on the far side is under an ice cap in perpetual darkness. How would it be to live on such a world?"

I'm guessing the planet will be tide locked?

Of course, there is a lot more nonsense in the book. The soil bacteria changes time or something. Um right.

Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

The weird thing is...

All of these stories are the same. Device repaired by legitimate third party or never repaired at all. Device dies with Error 53. Taken to Crapple store, and told they have to buy another for £300... AND THEY PAY THEM!!! It just beggars belief! WTF has happened to these people and their ability to think?

Re: News angle?

They don't "work", that's the issue. I am loving telling the crapple users at work how Windows "just works" when they have their constant issues with their crapbooks. "Oh, I am on Windows and I have no issues..."

Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Re: OS-X and Linux vulnerabilities

https://securelist.com/analysis/kaspersky-security-bulletin/68010/kaspersky-security-bulletin-2014-overall-statistics-for-2014/

"Kaspersky Lab experts detected 1,499 new malicious programs for Mac OS X, 200 samples more than in the previous year."

https://usa.kaspersky.com/internet-security-center/threats/mac#.VrFiubKLS9J

"Compared with figures for 2010, the number of signatures created annually has increased by a factor of six."

I am not convinced the situation is the same or as flattering to OSX anymore.

Why a detachable cabin probably won’t save your life in a plane crash

whatever

i came up with this years ago. "inventors"

Whew! How to tell if a DevOps biz is peddling a load of manure

"Real DevOps is about bringing teams together to build a technology stack that can support agile deployment and dynamic workloads without sacrificing security and stability."

Woah. And you fall face first into the management bullshit there.

DevOps is just the latest buzzword for deployment

GitHub: We're sorry (again) about (another) outage

Re: Surely..

Go try it. How does it work when everyone is on NAT'd networks and no one has connectivity to each other?

Git is not SVN, its much, much worse.

Yes well...

You were warned not to use it. VC money is drying up now...

You, yes YOU: DevOps' people problem

My company adopted this

Productivity has dropped through the floor. Releases now take months instead of minutes. Basically some muppets heard some buzzwords written by muppets similar to author of this article, ruined everything and proclaimed it better.

No escape: Microsoft injects 'Get Windows 10' nagware into biz PCs

Turn off updates like any sane person? No update ever fixed anything or made anything better. Updates just bring new bugs you never had before and remove essential functionality.

Currently running Win7, two KBs installed in 6 years. Current up time 134 days. Never seen a Win 10 message on here ever. I am happy.

Cocky SpaceX will try another sea landing with next rocket launch

put a grill in the pad and open a seafood restaurant underneath.

Pandora pleased with 15% rate hike for streaming music

Did the programmers building the applications, the services and all the stuff to keep it up do no work? Do they not deserve to be paid? Do the infrastructure guys who worked to deliver high capacity networks deserve nothing? What about the free advertising and bandwidth the artist gets? How much of that are they factoring in? Also, there are vulture capitalists to pay off you know.

If they want more money sell directly. If they don't like the terms, don't make their stuff available via the service. The pie got bigger but they have to share. Deal with it.

By the way, years of my work was stolen and presented here: http://www.solarapparel.com/ I'm not going to whine about it. I've found where they live.

I really don't understand the artists' case. Their not expected to live on 17 pence or anything. Its just a revenue stream - have lots of them. Sell your own merchandise. Get writing and production credits. Have video channels on multiple sites with ad placement. Play gigs.

Don't expect to do a few days work and dine out on it for the rest of your life.

Windows for Warships? Not on our new aircraft carriers, says MoD

nah its the VM that's doing all the real work, running on top of whatever they said they would replace windows with.

Drunk? Need a slash? Avoid walls in Hackney

Re: Or

Sure, but did you miss the ideological tory slash and burn on council services? Maybe they can have them sponsored by some drinks company.

Brazil gets a WTF WhatsApp moment

My concern is...

...that if they can't get to the evidence, sooner or later they will dispense with the need for it.

Bigger than Higgs? Boffins see hints of bulbous new Boson

how so they know this one isn't the Higgs and the other one was something else then? Anybody actually proved what they do? Its all conjecture, based on predicated energy levels, right?