* Posts by Billy Verreynne

31 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Feb 2007

Oz bloke in underpants wrestles 'lunatic ninja' roo

Billy Verreynne


And there I was about to welcome our new kickass kamikaze lunatic ninja marsupials overlords (who looks to be a lot kewler than our existing ones)...


Sun MySQLers barred from Oz

Billy Verreynne

It is really pathetic...

.. that an article that is based on HEARSAY (from a blog entry - and does that not say it all!!), and without ANY evidence, sparks an Aussie (gov) witchhunt as seen by most of the comments posted thus far.

Sadly this type of behaviour is typical.. and one of the prime reasons the world is such a f'ed up place.

And of course, I should not have expected anything different from the average head-up-ass El Reg reader that will get on the old high horse, or jump on the old soap box, without an single effen shred of evidence. (look at what Trix posted and THINK before opening your traps - very likely the Sun people have not completed their visas correctly, or failed to meet specific visa requirements, a far likelier reason than making it a mySQL issue!!)

Oh.. never mind the coat, it does not fit when I have the old flamethrower strapped to the back.

Billy Verreynne

Wait a minute,,,

How does a civil servant dealing with short-stay business visa applications know jack anything about Open Source, mySQL, Linux, or anything remotely related to the Cathedral and the Bazaar? And to believe that some anti-mySQL regulation exist in their home affairs department that prohibits visa applications for mySQL-whatever, seems pretty far fetched. (as in black-helicopters-far-fetched)

And unless El Reg can come up with some real proof that the mySQL bit is what resulted in those denied visa applications, I'm calling this article bullshit.

Jaw droppers of 2008 - what they'd rather you forgot

Billy Verreynne


Agree fully with Martin there.

Fighter jet crashes in suburban San Diego

Billy Verreynne


Thanks James for a proper perspective... unlike these armchair arses that not only think they are qualified to comment on this tragic incident, but want to turn it into yet another slam-Americans-and-George-Bush fest.

And for you dorks... try and think and feel for the people involved, from the families of those who died, to the pilot and his family, and the neighbors and the rest of the community.

Hello, this is Oracle - we're not in right now

Billy Verreynne

Will the Real Problem please stand up?

<unstrapping flame thrower>

The previous Jive version, hooked into Oracle, worked just fine for Oracle's OTN forums.. for many years,

What has changed? Jive version. The Oracle back-end stayed the same. So who and what and where is the Real Problem?

Not the database back-end.. as indicated as the problem by some idiots here (who are as usual technically clueless when it comes to client-server and a real database server)

I also think that OTN screwed their Jive upgrade big time and they deserve being taken on about this. And this is not the first time, There was an aborted Jive upgrade over a weekend a month or two ago.

However, when you want to on the offensive, get your fricken technical facts right. Or expect me to try and kick you in the nuts. Hard. And repeatedly.

@stizzleswick: you are one of those mate. Totally fricken clueless as client-sever is client-server. Whether the database server deals with a flat client or a thin client or an app server.. does not matter. The database does not know the difference. It does not gives a damn whether the client is Java on Linux box, .Net on a Windows box, or some client on a OS/X or whatever. All clients are equal in the eyes of the server process that services that client session. So your statement that Oracle is "complete shite as a web back-end" only shows that you either are ignorant or an idiot. I trust it is the former as the latter is not curable.

Dell's Ubuntu love-in expands to new laptops

Billy Verreynne

@Anonymous Coward

> They chose "N" for "Not Windows" to help give militant Linux users the

> impression that they're "sticking it to the man".

In that case, on behalf of militant Tux'ers world wide, I demand that the letter be changed to "F".

MS takes Windows 3.11 out of embed to put to bed

Billy Verreynne


I'm still running it. In fact, not just WfW (with an IP stack), but also DOS 6.22 with Novel LAN Workplace for DOS (with IP stack), MS LAN Manager (with IP stack) - even have Windows 3.1 loaded.

Kinda sweet having this all bundled (with Turbo Pascal, VB2, Turbo Pascal for Windows, games and stuff) in a neat little VM on one of my Ubuntu boxes...

Hmm.. I still have OS/2 Warp (with IBM Communication Server still shrink-wrap, seal unbroken), Netware 3 and 4.. Windows 4 Chicago Beta.. Windows Daytona.. I feel more VMs beckoning...

Oh, the joys of config.sys and getting everything squeezed into hi memory.

Mine's the old stained engineer looking one with the one sleeve in tatters...

Lesbians like straight men, researchers find

Billy Verreynne
Paris Hilton

Significant point missed

Take a careful look at the PET scans. Who shows the least amount of brain activity? Every single time? Just a single teeny brain spark?

Heterosexual males...

Paris. Because that pretty much explains the continuous shot circuiting we heterosexual males experience between our brains and balls.

Silverlight 2 beta 2 - Go Live if you dare

Billy Verreynne

@mark: Silverlight is cross-platform? Bullshit!

This web page says it all:


Microsoft is *KNOWN* for wanting to screw over anything non-Windows. They are *KNOWN* for trying to bind developers and users to Windows only.

Hell, they have been found *GUILTY* in courts of law because of this!

And now you come with this bullshit that Silverlight will be cross platform. That Microsoft will not try to screw non-Windows platforms and non-Explorer browsers?

In what la-la land do you live mate?

Gates' last act: frees IE 8 and Silverlight second betas

Billy Verreynne

Think of it as better than SQL-Server and faster...?

It is called Oracle.

The one with the lead pipe and Oracle logo on the back is mine...

New attack technique threatens databases

Billy Verreynne
Thumb Down

Or you could..

.. simply break the idiot's kneecaps with a well wielded lead pipe.

Not using bind variables is beyond idiotic.

Using DBMS_SQL, the most complex cursor interface in PL/SQL, is just plain stupid - the only time that DBMS_SQL is needed is when requiring a describe interface for a cursor.

And guess what - needing a describe interface means you have no fricken clue what the SQL projection is, thus dynamic SQL. And dynamic SQL is *ALWAYS* risky - and if you code that without a healthy dose of logic (and bind variables!), and then get hack.. your poor dumb bastard you, you deserved that.

What is sad though that these "lateral" SQL injections will likely work on many a system. Not because Oracle is that flawed. But because these code monkeys (not to be confused with real programmers) that write PL/SQL are just that damn stupid.

Seems like many is confusing the "unbreakable" slogan of Oracle to extend to their code monkeys. Sadly, that is not the case.

Microsoft's LAMP answer arrives in pieces

Billy Verreynne


How many moving parts are there in LAMP? How easy/difficult is it to configure? To scale?

Oracle's answer (ducking the cans and bottles being thrown from those hearing "Oracle") is called XE with APEX.

Oracle eXpress Edition is a free Oracle database. Linux and Windows. mySQL can and never will be able to compare. And XE is very much upgradeable and scalable all the way up to a 100 node Real Application Cluster.

APEX - aka APlication EXpress. Think IDE that runs via web browser. Think point and click. Think wizzards. Think session state and the complex web stuff done for you. And for the savvy developer, there is a nice and juicy API to do most anything you can in PHP or any other server-side web programming environment.

Moving parts? One. XE. Has a built-in httpd servers called EPG (Extended Procedural Gateway). No need for Apache or IIS.

You install. You go clickety click and you start developing your web application. That easy.

And for those heavy duty web apps.. we are running them. Using APEX. On Oracle clusters. Even our Java developers are having too much fun in how easy it is to deploy enterprise web apps using this architecture, than to bother with Java and JBOSS.

<ducking an empty beer barrel>

Holy crap!

<grabbing coat>

Heathrow 777 crash flattens servers

Billy Verreynne

Where the hell are the politicians when you need them?

Not a single one on board... *sigh*

Just imagine all that hot air. The plane could easily have reached the runway with sufficient energy for a go-around and a complete circuit...

Surgeons to turn to Wii to sharpen their scalpel skills?

Billy Verreynne


.. both my kids are going to turn into excellent surgeons, make loads of money, and look well after their old man and his wife in their golden years.

Brighton professor bans Google

Billy Verreynne

Slam Google will you!?

When Google achieve self-awareness in 2038 and becomes the first (and only) artificial intelligence on this planet... you ALL will be SORRY!!

Spam King Ralsky indicted over stock spam scam

Billy Verreynne

The Hilton Angle

@Paul Murray

Exactly.. which is why us 'boffins' are such a miserable and sad bunch. We Hiltonise our responses (just like you did now) in honour of the Bloody Stupidest Blond of Them All... simply because we have this short circuit at times between our brains and balls.

Vista vs XP performance: Some informal tests

Billy Verreynne


Understand your pain Kyle, but it really does not make any sense to muck about with the GDI even for "just a" 2D graphic type applications. Been there. Done that. Still have the burn marks (and the code!) :-)

OpenGL. It should be not that difficult to switch. With immense benefits not only in performance, but also in portability to other platforms.

US Army plans robot planes operated by non-pilots

Billy Verreynne

UAV are flown by...

.. computers.

You, Mr-Wing/No-Wing-On-Chest pilot on the ground, is instructing the on board computer, and the computer (checking the flight envelope, energy state, mission profile, safety limits and what not else), executes that as safely as possible.

The joystick for flying the UAV is also going to be phased out (if not already). The operator will simply instruct the UAV computer (via touch screen displays, MFDs, etc) and the UAV will execute.

This is not flying. This is not aviation. Hell, this is not even a friggen decent computer/flight sim game!

I fail to understand what the real AF pilots are concerned about.. except about job protection angle.

But there has been a joke doing the round of commercial aviation for some years now about the automation of the front office. In the future, there will be a dog and a pilot in the cockpit. The pilot is there to monitor the automated computer systems flying the plane. The dog is there to bite the pilot should he be tempted to touch anything.

Microsoft loses battle of the piggybacking passwords

Billy Verreynne
Paris Hilton


I have patented a utility that allows programmers to not only code better, but code faster,

It works in any programming language. For any type of application, On any operating system.

It is called coffee.

And if anyone of you bastards drink coffee while coding, you owe me royalties!

(The obligatory Paris angle: She goes well with coffee?)

AOL spammer gets two years in the slammer

Billy Verreynne

Cry boobies and let slip the Bloodhound Gang

The spammer, the spammer

.. is on fire

The spammer, the spammer

.. is on fire

We don't need no water

.. let the motherf* burn

Burn motherf*

.. burn

Jailed terror student 'hid' files in the wrong Windows folder

Billy Verreynne

Dodgy Porn?

Dave said on Tuesday 23rd October 2007 18:38 GMT

"Truecrypt lets you have a hidden volume within your encypted volume which they cannot prove even exists. You can put some dodgy porn in here & pretend to the fuzz that was all you had to hide."

What is dodgy porn? Er.. mind sharing some.. just for educational purposes you know...?

In the meantime I'm going to put my hand up the horse's ass. I do believe that both the British Law Enforcement and Judicial systems both climbed in there.. maybe they can be grabbed and pulled out?

(see picture for graphic demonstration)

Facebookers abandon online privacy for virtual doo-doo

Billy Verreynne

This proves my point...

..about e-social networks like Facebook. People who join then are idiots. 30+ million and counting.

Soylent Green anyone? We can solve this planet's hunger problems.

Pilot sacked for footie star on flightdeck shocker

Billy Verreynne
Thumb Down

And now..

.. we have idiotic pen pushers and bureaucrats and bean counters dictating to the Pilot In Command how to operate his aircraft safely.

What utter bs!

"Not allowing a pax in the front office". Do these arseholes expect a terrorist intent to get into the cockpit to even take the slightest note of this rule?

If a PIC can decide how to get a plane safely down flying instruments only, he sure as hell is more than capable to make other safety decisions on board.

He is after all the primary safety "device" on that plane.

Facebook 'friend request' lands UK man in jail

Billy Verreynne

Where nobody knows your name.. not when your one in 34 million

Er.. sorry.. cannot help but to laugh at all you millions of pathetic idiots on Facebook and other e-social networks.. I mean, just how desperate do you have to be in your real life to want to get a 1000+ friends on Facebook?

Sheez.. "get a fricken life" probably has no meaning to you either.

Oh well - at least it keeps all you 34 million idiots out of the local pub.

Would-be politician fails in Yahoo! and Ask.com lawsuit

Billy Verreynne


As my grandpappy always said... Some people are born assholes. And then they grow up.

Mystery radio bursts from the depths of the universe

Billy Verreynne

It Worked!!

Word from the reputable ufologist cooks and trustworthy conspiracy loons is that MJ12 just defeated a major alien invasion armada launched by The Dreaded Grays.. by sending these big black eye alien bastards the most awesomely sophisticated and cunningly crafted computer virus ever created...

The virus overloaded the on-board ship computers of the alien mother ship, resulting in a catastrophic chain reaction that annihilated the alien armada. This obviously caused a lot of noise on the radio. (and as AC/DC made a lot of noise too, RIAA is understandably confused)


Brazilian physicists boycott Dell

Billy Verreynne

What happened..

..to simply not buying Dell because they make crap?

Besides, it is kind of idiotic to rant against Dell for (idiotic) US export policies. Dell is not the only one. I've dealt with those same check boxes and combo boxes when downloading from oracle.com numerous times through the years.

Pipex invites customer to get 'c**ted'

Billy Verreynne

Could it be that...

.. the password generator is a Cunning Linguist?

Ambitious Evergrid to conquer VMware, Oracle and whatever else

Billy Verreynne

The food chain leads to...

.. Homer?

It looks like Homer Simpson in that food chain image.

MySQL is the company's SQL now...

Billy Verreynne

The Little Database That Cannot

So what must the world's nicest database do to drum up some enterprise sales?

How about something along the lines of "built it and they will come?".

mySQL lacks enterprise class features and compares very poorly against today's commercial enterprise RDBMS products.

For what it's worth, I can tick yes to to 5 of the 6 points listed as to why one would be a mySQL fan. However.. horror of horrors.. I do read the manuals. I used it as reference material almost every single day.

I think that only idiots deem their kung fu skills being so leet that they need no manuals. (opinion based from regularly assisting those who do not RTFM on Usenet and web forums for more than a decade)

Perhaps that explains some of the fan-base of mySQL?

The enterprise database is more than a mere bit bucket and black box. It must scale. It must perform. It must protect data integrity. It must provide redundancy. It must provide security, both ito access to data and securing data.

We did try mySQL in the very early start of an enterprise project. But we pretty soon gave up on it. Amongst numerous problems were that is was not able to handle the 1000+ inserts/second of numerous Perl processes. Not too mention that its share-nothing cluster approach was sorely missing the point on providing a fully scalable and redundant massive parallel processing architecture.

Built it. Give mySQL the features that make in on par with Oracle's transaction isolation levels, multi-version concurrency control, scalability, and redundancy. Add features like parallel query, table partitioning, real application clusters, PL/SQL.. to mention just a few. And only then can we in the enterprise RDBMS environment consider it as a worthy candidate to consider.

Terrabyte databases are common in the enterprise. Billion row tables are common in the enterprise. Running 1000's of SQLs per second is common in the enterprise.

mySQL as an enterprise RDBMS? Currently it is the Little Database that cannot, as far as enterprise RDBMS is concerned.