Posts by short a sandwich

Switch to hit the fan as BT begins prep ahead of analog phone sunset

If only the grid had been able to expand to keep up with demand. The NiIMBYs and planning departments saw to that, maybe direct your ire about the unreliable network there not at those of us that want to hand an habitable planet to our descendants.

Chap blew up critical equipment on his first day – but it wasn't his volt

Re: Should this be so easy?

With a large enough hammer any shape can be made to fit any hole.

I'll see your data loss and raise you a security policy violation

Re: Regomiser

Wasn't Hu on first according to the Marx Brothers?

IBM shows off its sense of humor in not-so-funny letter leak

Dad Jokes

Surely the joy of dad jokes is that both parties to "the joke" are aware that they are experiencing/delivering the worst of the genre.

Last rites for the UK's Online Safety Bill, an idea too stupid to notice it's dead

Re: Not holding my breath

MK has Stevenage and the other Garden Cities as competition for great cycle networks

Producers allegedly sought rights to replicate extras using AI, forever, for just $200

Images rights and their ownership across the pond are different to those in UK

UK's proposed alt.GDPR will turn Britain into a 'test lab' for data harvesting

Re: Can it just be delayed?

The chaps who saw war service who were Home Secretary in the 70's and 80's used to tell them to jog on. The civil servants and chief constables could never put a convincing argument together for mass surveillance nor ID cards. The current crop since the 90's don't have this experience and didn't learn from their elders. We need a set of politicians who understand why we shouldn't have these things due to the risk that they pose to the populace from future nutters in power.

Pornhub walls off Utah in age-verification law protest

Re: Time for the Monty Python singers!!!

According to Python the third world is in Barnsley not Utah!

The UK's bad encryption law can't withstand global contempt

Re: Idiots have taken over

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”

DNA had it all that time ago.

Don't worry, that system's not actually active – oh, wait …

Re: Why would one ...

We did have one enterprising chap attempt to reheat hi mouse mariniere in the kettle at the mill. The tea was interesting for a while afterwards.

If you have a fan, and want this company to stay in business, bring it to IT now

Re: air CON

A similar experience in a flour mill control room. Engineer says this is perfectly sized for your environment. Being slightly aware of the calculations needed and where to find the information to do a slightly better job. I pointed out that the machine supplied was one third the output it should be (for just about meet the spec control of room temperature for testing purposes) and possibly one quarter of the output for a bit of reserve on the warmest days.

Engineer bitched a bit, manglement spent the money on the just about adequate solution and we were able to test flour at the correct temperature for the rest of my time there and be comfortable when the roller floor was running in excess of 30C.

In a time before calculators, going the extra mile at work sometimes didn't add up

Re: Of course, Britain went decimal shortly afterwards!

Everything silver with a 1947 and earlier date had sufficient silver content to double it's value, or so I was told many moons ago.

This is the military – you can't just delete your history like you're 15

Re: Written reports on pron.

One local insurance office had to employ a sign language interpreter for a deaf employee who was caught by the network skin filter. The signer had to work through all sorts of standard sexual practices and one or two that were little more specialised.

Yodel becomes the latest victim of a cyber 'incident'

Re: So, Yodel are immune to cyber attacks?

Missing packets in large numbers is their MO surely?

Amazon fears it could run out of US warehouse workers by 2024

Re: elon to the rescue?

Robots tend not to buy anything from anyone, more robots will not generate extra profits if no one is buying.

I was fired for blowing the whistle on cult's status in Google unit, says contractor

Re: Google is a cult?

Spelling mistake?

Nothing says 2022 quite like this remote-controlled machine gun drone

Re: Fortunately Useless

Conundra surely?

Learned from graffiti in the Temple area on a construction hoarding. Top tip don't abuse Latin in the vicinity of large numbers of lawyers.

When management went nuclear on an innocent software engineer

Re: Next time

Nuclear generation is literally the one man and a dog job. The man to monitor the equipment, the dog to stop the man 'adjusting' it. With maximum toothy prejudice if required.

A discounting disaster averted at the expense of one's own employment

Beancounters

I work for one. He has realised if I specify something it will work. If he cuts corners it will cost money, time and customers. We now do everything well more or less first time.

The time you solved that months-long problem in 3 seconds

Re: Fuck that

It's my prime source of what to watch out for when doing the little syadmin work I need to do

Debugging source is even harder when you can't stop laughing at it

Also known as a Nebbish, when one leaves the others look up to see who's just entered the room.

Brave takes the spring out of creepy bounce tracking

Aha

That's why Google ad links are failing to load on Brave now. A light has dawned.

UK govt signs IT contracts 'without understanding' the needs

In other news

The stove is hot

Bears relieve themselves in tree rich environments.

The leader of the Roman Catholic Church has a big balcony and red socks.

Just two die for: Apple reveals M1 Ultra chip in Mac Studio

No Mention. . .

. . . of the £400 display stand then? The height and tilt version. Standards are slipping here.

Beware the big bang in the network room

Problem?

In BOFH parlance this is an opportunity, especially if there is security video footage.

Planning for power cuts? That's strictly for the birds

Re: I say it's plausible

There were murmurs that it wasn't fully tested.

Microsoft rolls out Files On-Demand with tighter macOS integration – but it defaults to 'on' and can't be disabled

Oh dear.

And if one's office broadband is of the rural, non-fibre variety? That's going to go well, NOT.

7Mbs download here on a good day, 1Mbs up.

Time to party like it's 2002: Acura and Honda car clocks knocked back 20 years by bug

You are Admiral Boom AICMFP

Leaked footage shows British F-35B falling off HMS Queen Elizabeth and pilot's death-defying ejection

Re: Ooops!

The pilot is going to have to fish it out as he's signed for it.

BOFH: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself

Alternatively. . .

Pigs, around 7 per adult human. Sieving teeth from pig faeces though is one for my PFY.

First, stunning whistleblower leaks. Now a shareholder lawsuit lands on Zuckerberg's desk

Wee free men

Crivens!

I'm diabetic. I'd rather risk my shared health data being stolen than a double amputation

Re: (and doing what with it?)

There's a "currently" missing between cannot and NHS. Legislation should always be made on the basis of what is the worst that could happen in future.

Google staff who work from home might see pay cut under corporate policy – reports

Home Office Rent

As above invoice for office space at home equal to the annual pay cut. Everyone wins as this side of the pond there will be tax advantages for the employer and employee.

Yep, you're totally unique: That one very special user and their very special problem

Re: When turn off/turn on fails

Could I suggest a refinement over quicklime and carpet for disposal?

Pigs are more effective (quicker with little if any remains for forensics to work with).

Qualcomm under fire for 'anticompetitive' patent shenanigans causing pricey UK smartphones

Not in Kansas Now Dorothy

UK Judges are known for their tolerance of "it was found lawful in another jurisdiction' as a defence,

Robinhood plays Sheriff of Nottingham as it pauses GameStop, AMC, BlackBerry etc stock sales, gets sued

Re: Proper link to Kushner story

No, Google are not our friends!

Trump silenced online: Facebook, Twitter etc balk at insurrection, shut the door after horse bolts and nearly burns down the stable

Re: Hmmm

Once again from the top:-

You can say what you like but;

No one has to listen.

No one is obligated to provide you a platform for your speech.

United States Congress stormed by violent followers of defeated president, Biden win confirmation halted

Re: ...and where exactly do you live in the US?

We'll put you down as a maybe?

There ain't no problem that can't be solved with the help of American horsepower – even yanking on a coax cable

Re: Closest I've had to that ....

Beware they don't bruise the mains with the thrust borer and leave it in a pool of water as my contractor did. It was a long wait for the local electricity supply company to turn up and re-connect us to the grid.

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

Re: Waving it around wildly and then smacking the side of it

Who's been playing with Lesley's hooter?

Xiaomi Mi 9 owners furious after dodgy Vodafone software patch bricked their mobes

Re: Android One

Two years of guaranteed updates? For the cost of one of these phones in unlocked form I would expect a bit longer.

'Non-commercial use only'? Oopsie. You can't get much more commercial than a huge digital billboard over Piccadilly

Schadenfreude. . .

ist die beste Freude

Cloudflare goes retro with COBOL delivery service. Older coders: Who's laughing now? Turns out we're still vital

Re: Mindset

BOFH SOP surely. Shock and awe to cow the PHB art al.

Hunting for IT staff? Lost your job during the pandemic? Sysadmin vacancies – and a free job ads offer – inside

Beer

For use of nor.

I heard somebody say: Burn baby, burn – server inferno!

Re: How about a nice long hot summer?

I have met one or two of the cowboy HVAC chaps. A flour mill control room that needed to be a 20C to measure dough water absorption accurately. Too much water or too little in the bakery dough meant either too much space in the plastic bread wrapper or a mess of crumbs and plastic as the machines try to stick big loaves in too small bags!

Control room had 2 or 3 500w meat based heat radiators, a 1 megawatt facitilty outside and sundry control PC's or PLC's installed. Said cowpoke couldn't work out why the temperature couldn't get below 25C with a 2.5KW unit. The 7.6KW unit that we replaced it with coped much better but the 'engineer' was unhappy that a 'civilian' had worked it out for him.

Can AI-enhanced virtual sports presenters do the job? It's a big ask

Re: To be fair...

What I choose to do in my own time with either cats or eels. . .

BOFH: When was the last time someone said these exact words to you: You are the sunshine of my life?

Lying at the start of a new commercial relationship that's going to end well with me too.

Post Office faces potential criminal probe over Fujitsu IT system's accounting failures

Re: Malicious Prosecution?

I suspect any charges of perjury should relate to the individual and not the organisation. Witnesses give a personal oath of " I promise. . .'

Take Sajid Javid's comments on IR35 UK contractor rules with a bucket of salt, warns tax guru

Re: There's an elephant you're ignoring

The good Rabbi also uttered not one peep when the last Prime Minister Mrs T May unveiled the statue to commemorate the arch anti-semite Lady Astor. Who 'hoped that nice Mr Hitler would solve the world Jewish problem'.

When the IT department speaks, users listen. Or face the consequences

An HR Job

Time to let HR loose on her, nothing but a good scare will work now.