* Posts by B*stardTintedGlasses

29 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Jun 2017

Head of Apple's insider trading program charged with… you guessed it... insider trading


Re: Is there somethin "off"?

Keyboard sprayed. Coffee everywhere.

Well played.

What happens when a Royal Navy warship sees a NATO task force headed straight for it? A crash course in Morse


Re: Vomit inducing

100% can agree, on my first deployment at sea we went through a F9 in the South Atlantic on one of the old Type 22s. Utterly terrifying crashing through all that.

On the positives:

- I don't get seasick apparently even in proper "Roughers"

- We made it! (Clearly).

On the negatives:

- Nightmares about waves taller than the ship.

- Learned to contemplate my mortality in the face of nature at the age of 18.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean hackers won't nuke your employer into the ground tomorrow


It wasn't "What do you think you need to say to make sure you keep getting paid?", it was "What scares the bloody life-force out of you?".

Speaking as an IT security type, I totally agree with the fears, and that is just professionally speaking.

If I actually sat down and allowed myself to worry about the larger picture of Cybersecurity/Infosec and how it affects my personal life, professional life, future, etc, instead of trying to fix my small area of it one increment at a time, then I might just end up a gibbering wreck.

The fact you put such an unhelpful comment as AC implies you either are extremely ignorant of the way things work here in the real world, or know you are just dead wrong, but have a chip on your shoulder against security types for some reason.

BUT being the paranoid pragmatic type, I am aware it could be both...

Great. Global internet freedoms take another dive as censorship and fake news proliferate


Not exactly surprising that China is slumping hard in these freedom stakes.

They are doing literally everything they can to attempt to emulate an episode of Black Mirror it seems!

Here is a really good article showing the level of pervasive surveillance and "management" of even normal citizens lives.


The thing that really scares me is the thought of other nations going "That's a great idea! We should do it too!" before China succumbs to it's own populace getting angrier and more dispossessed.

The only question is if that is before or after they become the next full-blown super power and set up a pattern of copycat regimes and straight-up annexed states, a la the USSR that persists way beyond the death of the original ideology. (Not Communist remember, Fascist with a veneer).

Revealed: UK.gov's 'third direction' to keep tabs on spies' potentially criminal activities


Attempting to break this code of office or bring someone not cleared into the loop will trigger your Geas and/or a visit from The Auditors...

BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot


Re: new keyboard alert !

And Cheaper Women. :)

Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?


Re: If you think that is stupid

Have an upvote for the Dollhouse reference. :D

Russia threatens to set up its 'own internet' with China, India and pals – let's take a closer look


Re: Russia threatens to set up its 'own internet'...

It's a reference to this:


Bender from Futurama.


Re: Russia threatens to set up its 'own internet'...

I came here to either make or find this comment. ..

I was not disappointed!

The day I almost pinned my tushie as a Google Maps landmark


Re: I'm stealing this!

"professor Alan Woodward of the University of Surrey, a Security Expert"

I swear the man has been quoted in the Beeb pretty much every time there is ANYTHING remotely "hackery/security" and was even on El Reg the other day.

"Oi Boss, whatssat geek's name? the one we talk to about the latest company to get hacked? Yeah, the one on retainer".

Ex-TalkTalk chief grilled by MPs on suitability to chair NHS Improvement


Dear $Deity! Those MPs are actually the ones I am rooting for?! What is happening?

"The [public] may take from that the judgement of the market was that you weren't a great success. And that your new desire to do good and work in the public service – a cynic might look at this and think, well, she wasn't going to hack it at the top level in the private sector, so she is looking for a cushy government job," he said."

Yes, yes a Cynic might....

Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams


Excellent column! Although the "strong" ones would not have moped off, they would have either been given new Slabtops and Mobile Bones to be "product influencers" or have taken them and banned anyone else from using them with the aforementioned strength/religious power...

“One day old Thrashbarg said that Almighty Bob had declared that he, Thrashbarg, was to have first pick of the sandwiches. The villagers asked him when this had happened, exactly, and Thrashbarg said it had happened yesterday, when they weren't looking. 'Have faith,' Old Thrashbarg said, 'or burn!'

They let him have first pick of the sandwiches. It seemed easiest.”

-Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy

Deloitte is a sitting duck: Key systems with RDP open, VPN and proxy 'login details leaked'


I wonder how many of the other consultancy companies are now going into turbo-panic?

(A state seen only in PHB's with their necks on the line and sales people who forgot to book something and are about to lose a deal).


A lot of poor IT staff just lost their weekend and evenings for a while.

Brit military wants a small-drone-killer system for £20m


Re: Bionic dogs.

Similar to the "Rat-things" from Snow Crash?

Good Doggy....


"Rat Things are specially engineered American Pit Bull Terrier clones, with genetic and biological modifications designed to optimize their strength, endurance, agility, reflexes, and aggression. As a result, they are larger than normal Pit Bulls, being closer in size to a Rottweiler."

'All-screen display'? But surely every display is all-screen... or is a screen not a display?


Just waiting for the first apple media-cult event to use the phrase "Shock and Awe" un-ironically.

Full disclosure: I have an iPhone, I like it, but it is a 5S I bought in 2014. Really don't see the appeal of any of the "mind-blowing, world-shaking, game-changing" so called upgrades since then. Especially not at these price points! As always, I will consider all available phones on the market when mine gives up the ghost. (Still going strong so far, don't drink the kool-aid kids!)

Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers


Re: Probable cause

Oddly it falls down to the ease of training from what I remember from chatting to the MoD dog teams back in my uniform days.

Basically you need a "smart" breed, and that tends to be the gun-dog type rather than the sniffers/pack hunters. That gives you the basis for teaching them and having them get the concept.

Then you need a strong "prey/play" drive, which is reward focused and allows conditioning for behaviour and task. As mentioned in the article, "I find the thing, I get my toy".

Finally it is a question of multi-role, something like a K9 team being deployed by police and military is more useful if the dog is big enough and trained to also do suspect tracking and pursuit. Think shepherd breeds etc, they are fast, focussed, and you sure as hell go to the floor when one does an arm-bite takedown on you. Less so with a beagle...

In fairness, there are things like spaniels on some police sniffer dog teams, but when on patrol they are often deployed with a German shepherd in the car too. (The big estates they deploy in hold a couple of "kennels".

Lord Sugar phubbed in peers' debate on 'digital understanding'


"Cross-government platforms such as Verify are designed for the user so that digital government is consistent and easy to deal with. Their use by departments is set to save billions of pounds, yet they are resisting their use."

Baroness Finn has an interesting way of looking at things. I mean, how about looking at WHY they are "resisting" hard enough for you to know about it. Clue - it might be because it's shit.....

Mind you, it smacks of a touch of "The plebs are RESISTING the decree of their betters, how DARE they?!"

TalkTalk plans to bail on mobile in major shake-up for beleaguered biz


Three can bugger off. Just reading this article, bring up my phone to send it to someone...

"Could not activate mobile data network". Full 3G. Hmmm....


Oh! Look! Mobile Internet has been down for Three for the last hour and counting!

F*ck em. they sure as hell shouldn't take on more when this happens regularly.

Contract is nearly up, must.... grit teeth and finish last two weeks....

Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!


Re: Lightbulb moment? Blue = Intelligence!

Think you missed the reference. :)

Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"The hooloovoo is a super-intelligent shade of the colour blue. One was seen as a prism for Zaphod Beeblebrox's address upon stealing the Heart of Gold. On certain special occasions, such as the aforementioned Beeblebrox address, they will be refracted into a free-standing prism.

The hooloovoo demonstrate their dissatisfaction with the Universe by holding their breath until they turn a deep purple"

NSA enters stage two of its spying revival plan: Getting Trump onboard


"Privacy and Civil Liberties Oversight Board"

As in "Honorable Judges of the Supreme Court, our failure to abide by any form of Privacy or Civil Liberties in our shameless spying on all and sundry was nothing more than an Oversight. Therefore we demand immunity from prosecution for all our employees."

Words can be tricky. I refer you to the first definition, almost made for "Reasonable Doubt".




an unintentional failure to notice or do something.

"he had simply missed Parsons out by an oversight"

synonyms: mistake, error, fault, failure, omission, lapse, inaccuracy, slip, blunder, faux pas, miscalculation; More


the action of overseeing something.

"effective oversight of the financial reporting process"

Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller


This kind of thing is why the man was one of the greats. A sense of humour that manages to shine through even the finality at the end of the ride.

A salute to you Sir P'Terry, for every smile in my childhood, every moment of escapism in my teens, and every "suddenly clear" joke hidden in layers of meaning that I understood on re-reading as an Adult.

Excuse me... suddenly very dusty in here.



Terry took Death’s arm and followed him through the doors and on to the black desert under the endless night.


UK infrastructure failing to meet the most basic cybersecurity standards


I can honestly say this is almost exactly what I would have guessed if someone had asked me to estimate how "Secure" the Critical National Infrastructure is as a whole.

It's an absolute joke how little investment has been put into securing it and educating its various staff, from PHB to users. I know a couple of IT bods working in the various industries involved, and they all have the same story; basically any mention of security is immediately shot down.

The poor b*ggers are struggling to get any traction at all with management to do desperately needed patching etc, but they have no funds/backing and certainly are not allowed the down-time they need.

It's only now that various regulations that have some teeth (GDPR et al) are coming into play that the various managers are adopting panic mode and screaming at the techies to "do something".


"plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose"

Fewer than half GCSE computing students got a B or higher this year


Re: Rant

I have a feeling (and hope) that is a "Paranoia" reference.


Tremble in fear, America, as Daesh-bags scrawl cyber-graffiti on .gov webpages no one visits


To quote NOFX:

"We call the heartland / not very smart land,

IQs are very low but threat levels are high...."

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee


Re: You miss the point

Pretty much. I think Auntie Beeb had an article about the HIPPO in the room.

(HIghest Paid Person's Opinion).

And funnily enough, that is what a committee of pathological a*se-kissers is there to validate, even, as stated, despite the actual work done by those who seem to have some actual clue as to the technical requirements of the project.

Wonder what reaction you would get to installing a "HIPPO" klaxon outside mission control, and how long it would take the boss to twig it was about them.... something to mull over during Friday pub o'clock!

UCL ransomware attack traced to malvertising campaign


From the name I would go ahead and try and pin attribution on House Tleilaxu.

AdGhola campaign "Duncan Idaho"....

Tails OS hits version 3.0, matches Debian's pace but bins 32-bit systems


Pretty sure even having TAILS on a flash drive on your person would be "reason to investigate" for the various powers that be.

Worse if they don't understand it.

"Unlock this drive citizen!"

"Erm, there is nothing on it"

"Yes, you must be hiding it!"

"Thats... thats not how this works"

"Give us the password to unlock the hidden/encrypted files or you go to prison!"

'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem


Re: Giving the users what they ask for......

Oh god yes, that was a constant pain at a place I used to work in my Hell-desk days.

Compounded by a specific P.A. who always used to try and get her own way by claiming the job/shiny/"urgent priority fix" was for the C-level bods she worked for to jump the queue.

Well, she got her unsupported MacBook in the end, and I walked off whistling with policy firmly on my side.

The nuclear launch button won't be pressed by a finger but by a bot


I believe you are referring to this my good sir.

Quite a good insight in this article into the "Dead Hand" system.


And simples: