* Posts by Waldo

60 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Aug 2007


Green light for spooks' net snoop plan


Tell me mr Orwell how did you come up with the idea?....

Bend over once more for deep packet inspection...

Long live SSL VPN

Neil Armstrong slams 'devastating' Constellation cancellation


The plug hole commeth?

Putting sarcasm aside, it never fails to amaze me how politicians swing like a pendulum.

Endeavours such as space exploration bring untold benefits, some material others spiritual. Many folks only see the cost. The classic term "The money is better spent here on Earth"- Generalising here, it is usually because they have not bee educated in the source of the many benefits they take for granted. And of course the money was spent here on Earth - in research and manufacture. - As said in the article employing many thousands of people worldwide.

In any event, such exploration is a long term commitment. As such. it should be possible to set aside politics ( and with commercial support) the vagaries of financial mismanagement by said politicians.

Go get a grip Obama, or mediocrity will result!

Beeb deletes iPlayer app from iPhone


Your name to will go on zee list

Yes you can watch public service broadcasting but only how we, the publically funded and therefore accountable too let you....

I USED to enjoy watching the BEEB on XBMC - no more, now phone apps are being nuked.. What gives guys ( to the BBC TRUST).

Hmmm is it me or is the BBC becoming more and more paranoid these days?

Phorm: How it went down


Yaow zir!

For those that remember 'Citizen Smith' and his banshee cry of

".......POWERRR to the PEOPOL......"

Nuff said ;-)

That Digital Britain report in full



On piracy, apart from proving guilt. With VPN now being trialled by TPB. It seems that ISP's will look forward to loss of revenue.. Why? Well because there are many tariffs that allow massive bandwidth and commensurate profit to ISP's I suspect that much of this consumer bandwidth is used for movies and other high volume data..

Does the industry really want to cull its own revenue stream?

Periodic table adding new element


Stop press scientists do science....thing





Do I hear element number er, er, snort, garrg sorry, I just fell asleep.....

Phorm woos browsers with personalised web


Phorm I'll keep your pretentious ploy simple...

rearrange this popular sentence.... "stuffed Get."


3D TV by Christmas, hints Sky

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Geek alert....

Sounds fine in theory, but the technicalities have way, way to go in getting an image that works well.

For instance, in a 2D image the focus is on the main protagonist on a standard TV. If our eyes roam the screen then its not too distracting or visually disturbing. But when you go to 3D we naturally move our concentration elsewhere and expect the focus to adjust accordingly...... The result so far? - A blurred area ( bad depth of field) and not a re-adjusted focus as we would see in the real world ...... Vomit comet or what!

Still, I look forward to Paris Hilton in 3D - actually, come to think of it, no thanks ;-)

Police quiz BT on secret Phorm trials

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Well you asked for it BT

Like many I hope this is another nail in the coffin for that oft used and highly dubious phrase:

"enhancing the user experience"

now I for one run a mile when I see that 'cause it usually means the opposite and more likely means enhancing the profits of the provider at the users expense...

"Death to marketing bullshit!", I say.

Good on ya' Reg for keeping us informed on this.

Concrete-jet 'printers' to build houses, Moonbases in hours


WELL Well well

..... I 've heard of shitting bricks but....:-P

Phorm papers reveal BT's backwards approach to wiretap law


I hate to tell you this...

Oh all right then...

I told you so ... there thats better!

Any company that has an "value-added services" department deserves suspision in my book. The added value is for who's benefit?.......

Downing Street removes Labour Party link

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Format error

Well do they put the link on the LEFT or Right or Centre of the page?...

Politics is so er, correct these days.....

Met police plans to track cops by GPS


Big brother is watching us now as well Sir........move along please....

Oh priceless, I jes love this land of ours. Free from invasion of privacy for all.

Now George Dixon will have to watch out when he is having a crafty fag whilst "monitoring the correct application of closing time..." ;-))

Top-end Fords will be watching your rear

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Over my shoulder goes one car(e)

I would bet that Ford will deny legal responsibility when you nerff that vehicle the little light failed to see.

Will it discriminate down to a cyclist or walking pedestrian as you pull out?

Look over your chuffin' shoulder and drive properly. Sheesh! Goddam Yankies

@Carl you got it... Don't drive if you are a stiff neck!

NASA's Phoenix closes on Red Planet

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Martian snapped on ski run... Lander banned as no ski pass profered..

Its life Jim JUST as we know it...

Sorry ;-)

couldn't resist...

IBM hopes to patent 'dealing with chaos'


Do what?

Chaos: (derived from the Ancient Greek Χάος, Chaos) typically refers to unpredictability.

Ummm so they can predict the unpredictable now and can patent it... I must have dozed off and missed something here?? LOL

Phishers offer credit card discounts to prospective marks

Paris Hilton

And I trade my discount in where???

Weeeel I guess it all beats Green Shield Stamps.......

FIPR: ICO gives BT 'green light for law breaking' with Phorm


Army volunteeeers one pace forwadds beeeeegin.

"it will monitor BT's imminent third trial of Phorm with 10,000 volunteers"


Er "volunteers" So, BT are actually going to ask permission to snoop with the aid of Phorm this time LOL

Petition to Downing Street passes 10,000 actually 10,001 as of 1 minute ago....


AdBlock+ = no targeted advertising BTW Phorm... beleive it.

BT: 'We did not let anyone down over Phorm... it was not illegal'


Improved browsing experience? .............my arse!

"this is a service that is looking to provide them with an improved browsing experience"

And just how does monitoring peoples habits and creatively dumping advertising on them improve our browsing experience?.....

Pfffshhh, Marketing Claptrap, period!

BT and Phorm secretly tracked 18,000 customers in 2006

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Well done El Reg

I am pleased and impressed by your coverage and continued persistence in revealing the gory details of this saga

I trust the story is well affiliated to other members of the press and media.

B.T. need to be brought to Earth on this little breach of trust.

Excellent journalism boys

Caribbean firm circumvents BD+ copy protection


All together now...

Let anyone with an ounces of intelligence say together..


10 years to crack BD+ have passed soooo quickly ;-))

Stop this nonsense forthwith because:

Well Studios,........ think about it!

Phorm agrees to independent inspection of data pimping code


Pharm go **** yourselves

Lets keep this simple BT, Virgin Media and Carphone Warehouse

I will NEVER NEVER NEVER take a subscription to your ISP services whilst you associate with this sort of "activity".

Got it?

Shame, you, Phorm chose a name sounds almost like Porn hmmmmmm..... another internet spamming blight.

UK postal vote system 'not fit for purpose'


Oh go on then.....

system 'not fit for purpose'’

I'll vote for that!

UK gov unveils 'Innovation Nation' plans


D.O.I.U.S.B.E.R.R. - hmmmmmm coundown anyone?

Departments of Innovation, Universities, Skills, Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform....

Is the building still long enough for the department title sign?

me thinks they need to innovate a new title.

Seriously, When I started amanufacturing business I could not get a penny of aid.

Why? I did not want enough cash!! Small business need funding at their level to innovate.. I know.

Terry Pratchett donates £500k to Alzheimer's charity

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Thank you Terry! and down with the Trolls

As someone who nursed a parent though this dreadful aliment to her early death over many years I am grateful.

Do this, then see if gender reassignment is important then! sheesh!

Shame on the cynics here ( And believe me, I am a cynic too)

Of course you donate to where you have personal experience - why not? - Give it to the government instead? _ I think not...

Go be cynical else Trolls - If this illness ever hits you I bet you will be a little more contrite then!

@ Danny - You got it right.

Gibson and Activision duel over Guitar Hero

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Oh my GOD..

I'd better stop playing my air guitar.. they might have patented that too. <Gulp>

Lonely Paris Hilton seeks new best friend


owwe didums....

Well, until now I never thought there was anyone sadder than Paris ( apart from me LOL) until this non story broke.

Sadder? - Yep... the 20 finalists! GET A LIFE.

Toshiba lost $1bn ditching HD DVD, paper claims


SAD but true...

We the consumer had little to do with it. In reality its a media company (studio's et al) and retailer stitch-up.

Next we will see Bluray players go up in price LOL

"Wot? - That's happening already?"

I would never have guessed.... ;-)

So glad I did not early adopt in this format war.

ESA's space truck heads for ISS

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Tinkers in Spaaaayyyccceee.

4.6 tonnes of useful payload .....

Sounds like the Pikies have been there already. Useful? so they filled 50 Tesco carrier bags, stuffed it on the mini Toyota flat-bed, sorry, payload vehicle and hoped it would be,..... useful? LOL

oh, I do love you Reg. :-)

270kg of drinking water......

Well someone will just p**s that against the wall "look how high I got - 250 Km" Yowsaa

Seriously, I wish ESA well: A neat trick to dock at 28,000km/hr. I realy do hope that Europe can show the USA and Russia how to do a job well

GOOD LUCK with the mission.

UK supercomputer probes secrets of universe


Bleedin' obvious innit!

Less antimatter than matter.. Just ask James T. Kirk or Scotty.. They been using it up since the 60's to blast around the Universe....

phffffsss. Supercomputer indeed!

Sony chews the Blu-ray fat with Microsoft


Not going to work? --- I think you might be wrong there

If you pay a lame ISP peanuts and get 3Gb a month ( unlimited access- righhht) then no it wont work.

BUT- allegedly ;-) with x264 DVD size backups are starting to swamp Newsgroups Newshosts that are SSL too.

So where is the capacity issue?

Where is the size issue?

Where is the the monitoring downloads issue?

Blue ray - the first consumer led choice in AV history ...phhffssss

Tool makes mincemeat of Windows passwords


Memo to Jackie Smith from head of I.T. Security

Well Jackie its a good job our new ID card scheme will not be intra/internet accessible. So I guess it will be stored on emm PC's? So now I can focus on how the F### we stop leaks from millions of government pc's

Suggest we sub contract to Phorm..they know how to collect data

Yours obediently

ps application for salary increase enclosed.

'Boil a frog' ID card rollout to continue until 2012


How many people - GULP! > 16.6 million man hours later.......

OK ignoring the stupidity and desire for I.D. cards, information on who we are, where we are, what we are doing etc etc.. by a parental government. Lets just take a look at the numbers..

>Assume there are 63m people in the UK.

>Assume that say there is already data on 13m of those and therefore no need for data collection.

> That leaves us with 50million people to collate data on

> Assume also. No births /deaths/ immigration & emigration legal or otherwise / visitors etc etc....

> Assume it takes 20 minutes to collect, analyse and log that data per individual.

50,000,000 *20mins...

Check my maths but that broad assumption still gives you 16 million man/ hours to collate < chin drops>

So WHO is going to do this and lets not forget at what cost.....


Apparently, this system will not be hackable, as it will have no intra / internet interface - Yeah riggghhht. So how does the "officer" check your card against the data held centrally, with no links...umm NO, NOT CD-ROM please!

But then I know I am stupid and can't believe this government would spend money flirtatiously or, God forbid, actually loose data!

Technical content because the Gordenment sorry Government can't add up

Phishers clean up at online casinos


Phishers clean up at online casinos

Well to me gambling IS throwing your money at some nameless phisher ( casino) anyway.. So the difference is the money leaves the country earlier LOL

Oh don't tell me the odds in a Casino are in favour of the gambler - my mistake!

Casino = phish pharm = no difference

Government set to 'destroy' UK radio astronomy

Gates Horns

Whers the money going.... er, into evaluating ways to save money silly!


Being a cynical sorta guy is somewhat of a burden ....

However, as a science graduate and interested in all things science, new, exciting, interesting.... means I kinda question a bit.

So... What is the government spending all the saved money on. Where ever you look in the UK today the Government seems to be saying... "cost savings", "budget reductions" "not economic to continue" or my favourite " not in the broader public interest"..

So where's the money going?... silly me, Iraq, Government IT projects, security "improvements" eg ID cards, and lets not forget the best, M.P. expenses claims for items up to £ 200.

Outlook NOT good. - We continually dump science AFTER we have proved its a worthwhile project and could reap a benefit from it... So thanks, at least one or two Anonymous Cowards think on similar lines...... :-))

Brit firm levitates floating chair


Cadbury's LIGHT


According to T.V. all I need is a LIGHT hot chocolate drink and seat belt to levitate...

£5875 per chair vs 48p (OTA) a sachet......

Star Trek XI release knocked back to 2009


Spock on Spock

Quote: "Leonard Nimoy will also appear as Spock senior"


"Er...this is how I played me all those years ago - Son?"

Now I AM confused.

OKAY I gotta say it, "Its life Jim, but not as we know it...."

El Reg collectible pops up on eBay

Black Helicopters

Stop Press!! El Reg in paper form lights fires.... at a cost

Jes goes to show we all have a price on our heads boys... maybe not as much as we deserve tho'


Forth Bridge painters to down brushes in 2012


Network Rail - maintenance hit?

From what I remember of recent history, N.R. are not exactlyTHE best at maintenance are they....

Better check thats not Dulux emulsion hadn't we boys :-)

Memo to self: Dont travel beyong Edinburgh by rail, or else take life jacket.......

HMRC blows £1.4m on two-word slogan

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HMRC Ambition = HMRC Titanic?

H_er M_ajesties R_eal C_on

There... I did it in 15 seconds, that will be 60 grand please...

DVD Jon aims to smash digital Tower of Babel


BluRay Jon Needed?

With HD-DVD going going gone, I should have thought that BD+ was the true Tower of Babel.... But then I dont encourage piracy either ;-)

Brown plans to admit wiretap evidence in court

Jobs Horns

Well BUG'er me..

"Bug me but not my MP"

Who cares if its bugs, taps, washers or what-ever - intrusion is intrusion is intrusion....

But judging by constant revelations perhaps the beta should use MP's as the test base.

Oh! silly me, the Kremlin and White House probably do that already ;-P

Nice one Gorders!..

love Waldo

US boffins tune into carbon nanotube radio


Re That black stuff would also be cool because... by Sarev

I think you will find that Arthur C Clarke got there first with the Black Monolith ;-)

Apple on the lookout for one million unlocked iPhones

Jobs Horns

And you did not guess this might happen!!!!

"being operated on unauthorized wireless networks"

So sue me!

To paraphrase:


Well sir, we will sell this car, but you can only drive it on the roads we authorise"

PAH HUMBUG. get a life Apple, stop being a greedy, control freak.

WE are the customer NOT you....

UK.gov on Galileo: We can't stop it, just sign the cheque


Galileo lost its way then?!

nuff said.

Spy satellite to slam Earthside


Kremlin.....Watch this space

I guess the Russian Government will be scouring e-Bay in a few month for "unwanted electronic trophies" LOL

Starbucks mocha clocked at 628 calories


Meal in a cup

Knife and fork provided on request eh!

Japanese to launch paper plane from ISS


Scented candle from space...

Just add perfume and re-entry....

'100% accurate' face recognition algorithm announced


Yea but.....

Rory Bremner can STILL do a better impression....

ID cards delayed until 2012


To ANY UK Government bent on ID Cards

You can put it where the sun don't shine.

I will never repeat NEVER carry on Why?

Your record on data security, bringing in IT systems on time and in budget stinks.

Why not let us all carry a cd the we too can loose it along with your 1984 style need for tracking us..

Of course you could use:

Our passports or

Our driving licenses or

Our credit cards or

Our NI or NHS data or

Our mobile phones to track us.

But then that would be too easy....

Alternatively, you could tell any terrorist that these cards will be mandatory and they HAVE to have one LOL

Sheesh, talk about naive politicians. Will they never learn....

As Billy Connolly said " we carry a ( popular BC expletive here) ID card around with us... "it's called a FINGER PRINT"