Posts by theN8

Fed-up graphic design outfit dangles cash to anyone who can free infosec of hoodie pics

Re: Will Godfrey

NOW we're talking.

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly

Re: Just remember: memory's the second thing to go.

I'd rather be a 5.25" floppy than a 3.5" hard disk every day of the week...

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

"Although the two mice were in different offices the desks were actually effectively back-to-back with a thin plasterboard partition between so kept interfering with each other."

We had a similar jolly in a firm I worked for 10+ years ago. Some bigwig decided that the "clutter free desk" policy meant we should give everyone wireless keyboards and mice. Sadly, the allotted budget to implement this for 130 staff - mixed in with whatever kickback this tie-wearing-jobsworth from the supplier - meant that we ended up with some junk that, instead of "pairing" like most wireless kit - had 4 channels to choose from. Well, you can just imagine the hilarity that ensued.

Luckily - we'd had the foresight to keep the old kit.

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

His legacy will live on...

“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...”

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Re: I think I even have a script for that.

Isn't that how Mel Brook's "The Producers" started?!

If this laptop is so portable, where's the keyboard, huh? HUH?

"Sorry, but I don't see how you can say both "I need dual monitors to do my job" and then "I need a laptop". They are both just a status symbol and mutually exclusive."

Oh no!! I best not admit that I'm typing this reply on my work issued Dell Lattitude E5470 with an i5, 16gb RAM and 500GB SSD - all hooked up to my triple 24" Dell U2414 displays. All secured by Bitlocker Encryption, with a work VPN configured as standard in Windows 10 - so when I finish for the day, I can simply un-dock it and take it home. Imagine that!!

I'll get my coat, mines the one with the 2 tonne Dell power brick in the pocket...

Cox blocked! ISP may avoid $25m legal bill for letting punters pirate music online

Re: I admit that I'm not completely on top of legal definitions...

The way I see it is it's the difference between receiving a letter and not acting on it and boarding up your letterbox so the letters can't be delivered in the first place.

If you receive the letter and fail to act - you are willfully blind (and some might argue, complicit), but if you don't receive the letters then you cannot be any more than negligent in your duty to accept communications. Of course, if they could prove that you blocked up your letterbox specifically to avoid certain kinds of letters...

What a Hancock-up: MP's social network app is a privacy disaster

Re: playground thinking

You mean the magic money tree raped by MayBot to keep the DUP's peckers up and in line?

Mil-spec infosec spinout Cryptonite reveals its network-scrambling tech

But I thought ...

... security through obscurity was a BAD thing?

(mines the one with the Windows XP install disc in the pocket)

USB stick found in West London contained Heathrow security data

No mention of how recent the files are (last modified dates etc.), though there is mention of a superceded ISMS grading convention, and the fact that the contents were in the single-digit GBs - so for all we know, this USB stick could be a few years old and the real-world risk very minimal (if any) - of course, it could also be bang up to date and a major disaster - we just don't know at this point.

Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Re: Now it can be told...

Reminds me of a popular bat script I left on a network share in Uni that opened popup dialog boxes labelled:

"10,000 green bottles, sitting on a wall..."

"9,999 green bottles, sitting on a wall..."

"9,998 green bottles, sitting on a wall..."

etcetera

They only clicked on the "Exam Papers - Faculty Access Only!" once...

(Mines the one with the notepad in the pocket)

Forget the 'simulated universe', say boffins, no simulator could hit the required scale

Roundworld

Roundworld is a sphere-shaped world. Yes, it is silly, but people seem to be able to stand on it, so we shouldn't worry too much about it. It lies in a universe created by the wizards of Unseen University, as a way to use up the excessive magical energy generated by the splitting of the thaum. (However it should be noted that travel to the Roundworld and references was possible before the wizard's creation so it may not have happened yet.) Hex watches over the Roundworld, and can move small things in it and influence it slightly. Apart from that, it is (in theory) completely isolated from other universes, and there's no magic in it, not even essential elements like narrativium. There aren't even any gods. After several failed attempts, the wizards managed to create a nice planet (although it's not plane at all, which is quite depressing) where life started to develop.

For all intents and purposes, Roundworld is "our" planet Earth - it is home to a human civilisation which mirrors our own, though several other civilisations have risen and fallen in Roundworld's past, including the crabs and dinosaurs. Roundworld's human inhabitants have not led an untroubled existence; their history was severely threatened by an infestation of Elves, who twisted the stories of Roundworld humans (notably William Shakespeare) to their own ends, and later by the Auditors of Reality, who objected to the consequences of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species. The Wizards acted in both cases to protect their preferred Roundworld history; they feel a certain level of responsibility for the entire universe they have created, and especially for the humans who dwell in it.

Developer swings DMCA sueball at foul-mouthed streamer PewDiePie

Because the video is still on youtube (other video platforms are available) even after the stream has ended - which is where the ad-generated money comes from.

Lord Sugar phubbed in peers' debate on 'digital understanding'

Re: Boring jobs?

"What's wrong with having a human answer the phone straight away, rather than spending several minutes on 'press 1 for...' and 'enter your account number' etc"

Because humans cost more money than the technological equivalents of Dante's 3rd level of hell.

15 'could it be aliens?' fast radio bursts observed in one night

Re: What are the chances?

Obligatory l-space reference:

https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Million-to-one_chance

Bitcoin Foundation wants US Department of Justice investigated

Silly BitCoin

Only governments can print money out of thin air...

Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

"Fascinating! I'm launching right now a crow(d)funding project for a smart doormat which will be able to connect to your smartphone to warn you if the guy at your door walked into dog shit. Once I have collected €1,000,000, expect first delivery as soon as 2037."

Shut up and take my money!

SanDisk's little microSD card sucks up 400GB

Our first PC in 1996 only had an 800mb hard drive - we didn't venture into the GB's until Windows 98 made an appearance.

User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

Re: Praise or accusations of work not done?

We call that "the stare" around here.

EE!? The sound customers make when the interwebz don't work

Re: Resilience lacking.

"...but whoever sets them should set a failover server."

The issue, in this case, is that the failover, whilst configured - was for a DNS server in the same Data Centre - so any outage of the primary likely FUBARed the secondary at the same time.

Ancient IETF 'teapot' gag preserved for posterity as a standard

Re: more important than ever

Error 418 shall become a self-fulfilling prophecy. And stop calling me Shirley!!

Samsung drops 128TB SSD and kinetic-type flash drive bombshells

Re: 128TB ?

Bah ... I still remember when disk drives dropped to £1 per GB. Come to think of it - the first drive I ever bought was a whopping 800MB - at a cost of about £70!!

Amazon may still get .amazon despite govt opposition – thanks to a classic ICANN cockup

TLDR; ICANN is the FIFA of the interwebs...

'Help! I'm stuck in this ATM,' writes poor bloke on a scribbled note

So THAT'S how those cash machines work - little people inside!!

ATM = Actually a Tiny Man??

Sleuths unearth 'Panic Mode' in Android, set off by mashing back button

Re: No such thing on a MS Windows phone

That is of course, provided you can actually, physically remove the battery without an impressive array of miniature sized screwdrivers, 3 pints of virgin blood and a bible (I'm looking at you Samsung / Apple et al.).

UK and Ecuador working on Assange escape mechanism

Maybe they should send the boys from 22 Para in to sort it out? It worked on the Iranian embassy.

In the week Uber blew up, Netflix restates 'No brilliant jerks' policy

Re: Well they already cut themselves off from a big portion of the "market"

But when you buy a CD/DVD/BluRay/Vinyl/Book etc - you are buying a physical item which becomes your property to do with as you wish (copyright case law long ago established that you can take a "backup" of physical media as long as you still own the original and are not distributing or reselling that copy).

But when you download a film from Netfilx - they still retain ownership of that material.

You pay for a streaming subscription - the option to download and view offline is simply an added bonus. If they had a pay-per-download model like Amazon, then that might be a different matter.

BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

Glad to have the BOFH back on top form as ever!

BT's Ryan Reynolds helicopter Wi-Fi ads 'misleading', thunders ad watchdog

Re: Re : that advertisements will be vetted first...

"If we did that, there would be no advertisements...."

I'm ok with that!

Every time Apple said 'machine learning', we had a drink andsgd oh*][

++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.

Every time I imagine "Machine Learning" I picture Hex from UU whirring away, spitting out reems of parchment as bees buzz around.

Sadly, the reality is somewhat of a let-down!!

Don't panic, Florida Man, but a judge just said you have to give phone passcodes to the cops

Re: Remote wipe.....

A microwave for 2 minutes would do just fine in a pinch.

We know what you're thinking: Where the hell is all the antimatter?

Re: No charge

+1 for the Discworld Tee!

VMware, Citrix to have a crack at desktops on docked smartphones

Re: Been around for some time

Yes indeed. I had the first Motorola Atrix with the "Work & Play" kit - very handy and the phone was years ahead of it's time - even sported a fingerprint scanner to lock/unlock the phone with - something the Apple fanboys would swear they were the first.