* Posts by Horaced

14 posts • joined 29 Mar 2017

ZX Spectrum Vega+ 'backer'? Nope, you're now a creditor – and should probably act fast


Wind Up

[transmission starts] Look, I've spoken with Kirsan Ilyumzhinov the sometimes earthbound former chess president on how exactly to deal with this post-end-game we're in with the vega+. He's clued me in to UFO specialist Steven Greer, who, amongst other extraordinary insights has assured me aliens have been dutifully disarming nuclear missile silos around the world and otherwise co-opting themselves into world affairs where needed. Applied to the fully disarmed Indiegogo I wondered if aliens had played any role in the drama. By some cosmic thought dissonance and quantum spewology I've discerened yes, on one occasion: when KFC ran out of the chicken. This was a direct retardment of supply intended to disarm Suzy (otherwise known as a supermassive black hole) from its energy supply. I then asked Dr. Greer why the aliens had been unsuccessful afterwards, being our technological overlords in the current climate and generally spectacularly difficult to get an image of outside of something blurry and grainy. "Horaced, I guess it's not always about the chicken. Or having your HDR on." He said, an unquoted and completely unsubstantiated made-up piece of nonsense by myself. But that's what cosmic dissonance can do to you. It can really warp your mind-space relationship. I'm unsure I was ever part of this campaign or anything now, except these articles keep coming, long long after the game and partial vega+ distribution. This post-end-game we're in with the vega+. He's clu - [transmission ends]

Court orders moribund ZX Spectrum reboot firm's directors to stump up £38k legal costs bill



' Deputy Master Friston commented: "I imagine that from their perspective[,] they found the experience to be brutal, this being because they would all have been concerned about their reputations." '

Well their reputations sure preceded them through a litany of company and legal memorandum over the years - a zesty read for the curious. Then their reputations splattered all over the honest backers of the no-go campaign. Lately their reputations have been shredded, stomped, boiled and vanquished. This is business as usual.

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal biz gets £35k legal costs delayed



In unannounced and fractious news, a dishevelled cloud-sprigged haired man was found dumped in a fit of derangement outside a courtroom building today. From decoded utterings it was ascertained he’d been assaulted by a gorilla and a baboon on at least one occasion, both these mammalian monsters wielding fuzzy implements intent on bowdlerising his manhood.

“*&$&$!(*)!” He exclaimed (hence exclamations), and “CUNS!” - as near as we can indicate.

Decoded, it appears he’d been sat upon by an old Floggie and a ‘Vanna. The Floggie having manhandled him into a state of prostrated submission, the ‘Vanna goosing him with a feather duster. Yes we know that’s quite a few animals and vague sounding names all told - but the man was deranged - and we’re doing our best. And: It was outside a courthouse where this kind of thing rarely plays well.

“!!!!!!” He spat, dusting himself off in obscene places (nb., not just outside the courthouse) then set to checking his most southerly ports, looking askance in random directions. These final fumbles sending a rake of trembling fear along his less shambolic parts and we did detect some weaknesses here.

“I’m not too lame!” He yelled, waving us off, staggering foot to foot, wiping his mouth with a torn shirt collar and breathing in rapid, halting gasps.

In later analysis we believe the old man had actually said: “I’m not to blame,” but this is contentious. We’ll have to wait until the next court date to get at the truth.

ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator



Ni Hao!

One weird trick for solving screen flicker! And also a button issues!

Throw it under steamroller!

This flattens a stomach too!

Bye for RCHELL!

ZX Spectrum reboot firm's shareholders demand current directors go


Uh, bye!

Your manhood is safe, judge tells ZX Spectrum reboot boss


'Cock Chopped Doc Cops Dock-Dodging Knock.'

Indiegogo to ailing ZX Spectrum reboot firm: End of May... or we call the debt collector



Tick tock: If Retro Computers Ltd doesn't deliver by May, Indiegogo says it will call in the heavies.

So, Suzanne Martin again.

Crowdfunding small print binned as Retro Computers Ltd loses court refund action


Choppy Trade

I had no idea that the company I paid for the contractual supply of a vega+ unit was presided over by a man with a morbid fear of cock-chopping trolls. And that such a man would later go on to use this as a credible defense for not showing up to a court hearing.

Well, if I'd known, I would have bought three!

The new, new Psion is getting near production. Here's what it looks like


Hmm ... yes, you're right. Most people are passive pullers.

We'll deliver 'in a few weeks' says troubled ZX Spectrum reboot firm



Ey’ oop ‘CL, canna know what cannot do. Delivers nowt, has nowt, like spuds onna serve, a side serving of nuts an’ snorts - and horseradish bless, ‘Up ya clackers!’, what I say, what they say. Giddit chum-chums, got it; served you good, gone away. Then come back. Givin’ it back now, coz’ been to Laywer Town, caked in brown. And back you trot, hot to trot, promises tucked, chuffed, ridin’ thigh-high in dubious pride, into dusty town ol’ Indieyoyo, falling facades, rotted wood and splintered underfoot you stand like owners, clink clink clink, but bills out boards and poles : ‘Wanted’, finks. You stinks.

Months late, unaudited: ZX Spectrum reboot firm files accounts


"Leave it out Terry. Don't want them nasty numbers fogging up our business. What you want is transparency. Like me. I'm straight up I am. Straighter than straight. Look at these hands, steady as a rock. See? Even a dab hand at Chess in my day. 'Arthur', they said to me, 'Arthur. Come sit over here, show us your deft of 'and skills.' A real showman in my day. Smooth I was. A magician's dream. Oh no, you show me one progressive ledger and I'II show you how to disappear that double quick time!"

ZX Spectrum reboot firm slapped with £52k court costs repayment order


RCL have an approximate legal bill of 100k to add to this; High Court costs are costly! You'd be betting their imminent demise as an entity, given the lack of corporate filings or headway with promised product (1 year and nothing to show but a pain in the buttons).

Any number of orders may now proceed against them, and dwindling funds will accelerate the exodus to shell partner companies as directors stem further legal actions, to secure what remains of 'ring fenced' funds.

In chess, this is the end game.

Former RCL director: It was me who cancelled their domain names



Too bad RCL. You lost at internet and other stuffs.

Endless excuses and implausible lies won't wash with Her Majesty's inland revenue, either. (Your filings are overdue, dears!).

ZX Spectrum Vega Plus backers complain of months-long refund delays


A delightful romp with stupids

I was an early supporter of this device, having successfully backed the previous Vega. When a change in directorship occurred last year there was also a sharp change in the politic. Removed were milestones and technical prowess - a sharp blow. In their place came delaying tactics and a trickle of subpar information, including poorly edited videos, missed self-imposed deadlines, a policy of slow refunding (you had to hassle with a threat of legal investigation to get something moving), and baffling communication to backers in the official comments section on Indiegogo, using a "we'll show the world how great we are" (sans evidence), yet in the other instance taking backers to task for questioning their abilities at all, citing it as interference directly attributable to a delay in product delivery!

Somewhere in the backstories of the current directors lies a kernel of sensibility, that in the multitude of storied failures they achieved in a lifetime of running businesses into the ground was that seed, that nub of doing the right thing, and no doubt in the early days these efforts drew delights, the optimistic meetings sung in new offices, the fine manifestos caught from the copier, praising coffee rounds and the long telephone conversations about what could be done and how much they would do. Yes!

In the middle phases the meetings came to stalls, concerning a precise detail; A placement of a button, a supplier and their claim. But more and more the meetings were about the campaign itself, the backers and the previous directors, and there followed numerous legal processes. So that the real business was between lawyers, and the politic had moved on from being in control of a technology business to being the administrators of a well worn practice; Delay, draw salaries, claim and defend legal actions.

There is no real obligation to deliver under the current terms of the Indiegogo contract. Although it has been closed now, the nature of an 'in-demand' campaign affords additions of money in excess of what was originally required. Without an umpire outside of mainstream media - or costly legal advice - it's fair game between the suits and the consumers in what has become a very rotten business.

And that has been the Vega+ game.


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