* Posts by Horizontal

15 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Feb 2017

Oracle finance system at Europe's largest city council still falls short 2.5 years later

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Well...

I honestly can't believe that BCC have let this issue roll on. Even after they declared bankruptcy, they are still in the pockets of Oracle. It honestly beyond belief. The sad thing is the citizens of BCC will be paying for the council's f**k up for years to come.

Spending watchdog blasts UK govt over sloth-like progress to shore up IT defenses

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No surprise...

I'm not surprised when the keep on using Oracle. You've only got to look at the shambles of what Birmingham City Council and Oracle have made of their IT system.

Want advice from UK government website about tax 'n' stuff? Talk to the chatbot

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Can't be any worse...

An AI chatbot really can't be any worse then speaking to anyone at the tax office... Or can it ?!

We polled thousands of IT pros – and sustainability just ain't a priority right now

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Green what !!!

The whole green / carbon neutral ethos isnt sustainable period, nevermind just in the IT sector.

The technology and infrastructure simply isn't up to the job. Here in the UK the power grid is at least 10 years behind for the needs of coping withe EV alone...

Just recently the government have pushed back the date for the banning of new natural gas boilers for domestic use.... The world's gone made

If we plan to live on the Moon, it's going to need a time zone

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UTC

ZULU ÷ M

Simple really

Subcontractors working on CityFibre's £45m Derby rollout threaten to 'rip up tarmac' in dispute over payments

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Black Helicopters

There is a major shortage of cement based products especially. Most of which is being diverted to the HS2.

There are also shortages of timber products largely due to covid restrictions overseas in countries such as Sweden, China and Brazil.

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills

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Hairy Dog...

Disappointed that hair of the dog hasn't made the list...

So, bye-bye mighty nerd haven Fry’s, took Silicon to the Valley... and now you must die

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Facepalm

Sounds familiar.

Maplins anyone

One careful driver: Make room in the garage... Bloodhound jet-powered car is up for sale

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Mushroom

If VW can manipulate the emissions test I'm sure BH can.

The Huawei Mate 40 Pro would be the best Android flagship on the market – were it not for the US-China trade war

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More money then sense...

I I may be speaking out of turn here. But who in their right mind would splash out £1I on a phone.

Apple, Samsung or Huawei or whoever, mobiles have become the footballers of the phone world..

AI assistants work perfectly in the UK – unless you're from Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham, Belfast...

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FAIL

Black Country Accent

I have a thick Black Country accent so getting any voice assistant to understand me is nigh on impossible...

OK Google call 'ar kid' Sorry I couldn't Archie

UK snubs Apple-Google coronavirus app API, insists on British control of data, promises to protect privacy

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Facepalm

Another Gov/NHS IT disaster...

... On the horizon.

Given that both the NHS and government have a history of expensive IT f@#£-ups, i can only see one outcome of this covid-19 tracking app...

... It'll still be in development in 10years time and over budget by £bn's. ;-)

How I got horizontal with a gimp and untangled his cables

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Facepalm

Electrical plumbers

WTF is an electrical plumber?

As an electrician myself, its a sin only punishable by a good rogering with a wire brush to mention plumber in the same sentence. In fact youll never see a plumber and an electrician in the same room, the hatred between the two trades is THAT bad.

Exclusive to all press: Atari launches world's best ever games console

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I'm not holding my breath.

Given the history of the rebirth of these retro consoles, I'll wait until the physical release rather than commit to crowd funding.

The Vega+ and that debacle has stuck in a few people minds.

BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

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Re: Working at....

I was installing wireless AP around the perimeter of a warehouse, in a safety cage on a forklift. The AP were only just above head hight but as step ladders were not aloud to be used in case of a fall, I was driven around all day by a FLT driver.

Anyway, being the professional that I am, I had got most of the PPE on, hard had, hi-viz etc, everything but the full body harness, which was in a heap in the bottom of the safety cage.

At one point during the day the H&S 'Git' came walking past and pointed out that I wasn't wearing the harness, and that I 'must' put it on or I will be removed from site. I smugly pointed out that the risk assesment that I did prior to the job states that the harness is not suitable. The 'Git' was still adamant that I wear it. I then pointed out the it wasn't suitable because the harness had a 3m fall arrester on and that should I fall I would most probably break my legs before the harness had any real effect.

He didn't know what to say, but low and behold the following day there was a suitable harness in the cage.