* Posts by WoobieVonFruitbat

6 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Jul 2017

How to get banned from social media without posting a thing


Re: Social media, the least social thing ever invented by the human race!

Umm - container ships don't dock at Folkestone.

No ships dock at Folkestone except BorderFarce(TM) cutters & fishing boats.

Did you mean Felixstowe?

Kenshi: Sandblasted sword-punk D&D where the dungeon master wants everyone dead



Great idea for a column, bring it on!

Can ye spare any 'digital change', pal? Blighty's ailing court service can't wait to hear from you


Here is the actual job advert text

Wanted: Office-holder to do some window-dressing on behalf of a senior civil servant who is looking bad and needs to look like they are trying hard to fix the problems in their department.

Candidate will be able to say all the right things at interview with a nod and a wink while absolutely maintaining the core civil service ethos of p*ssing public money up against the wall as fast at HMRC can collect it, while going to lots of meetings and giving it the big 'I am' at all times.

Candidate should have a proven track record of disastrous IT mismanagement in at least 2 large organisations and should have a lot of 'friends' in the big system integration companies who will latch on to them like leeches the moment they are appointed and help them to achieve the spending goals stated above.

Any candidate who has a proven ability to actually get anything done, or worse, actually has any grasp whatsoever of IT will not be considered for this role.

Interviews will be held on the 1st May but we already know who's going to get the job. It will be somebody that the chief exec used to go horse-riding with.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish


Thanks for the 'Squaxx Dek Thargo' reference. Cheered me up no end!

Wasted worker wasps wanna know – oi! – who are you looking at?


The origin of the bee

You should all know that bees are just hippie wasps who have gone vegetarian and mellowed right out.

Can it bee true?

Kill something, then hire cleaners to mop up the blood if you want to build a digital business


Snake Oil

More snake oil from the company that pioneered its use in the fleecing of out-of-their-depth IT management.

If you listen to these clowns you deserve everything you get.