Posts by creepy gecko

Far out: Dark matter bridges millions of light-years long spotted between galaxies

Re: The assumption that it's matter

I was unaware of The Church Of The Cosmic Star Goat until I read that comment. [The internet is a wonderful thing.]

I am now a true believer in the Cosmic Star Goat.

Three indicted over sex trafficking operation run on Backpage.com

I also thought the story would be about Three. Surprised and disappointed to be reading about sex trafficking in New York. Ahhh well, maybe next time.

HMRC beer duty bungle leaves breweries struggling to pay online

Government & IT.

How could there possibly be a problem?

As you stare at the dead British Airways website, remember the hundreds of tech staff it laid off

Karma. :-)

Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

A Happy (Easter) Bunny

Only on The Register could I read a discussion about the merits of crucifixion, and the fine details of how to carry out a crucifixion...with added humour...

El Reg commentards are the best.

Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

Re: 6 points on your license

Devils advocate.....

Not sure if that's true. I think if you haven't completed your journey (and are still on a public road) you are still driving, despite been parked with handbrake on. I'm assuming engine still running etc.

The police will prosecute you or give you a ticket if you're using your mobile while stationary with handbrake on, at red traffic lights for example. They say you're still driving, despite not moving, and so can't be distracted by the mobile phone.

I know the chances of getting a ticket while operating your garage doors (from the public road) with an app is practically nil, but I've got my pedants head on. :-)

I can't understand why they don't just get out of the car and open the garage by hand. Oh, it's too low tech, you say? I understand now.

Kremlin hackers suspected in assault on athletics governing body

Comrade, Where's My Hashtag?

A highly placed UK Government source has suggested removing Russia's access to hashtags. This will prevent any Russian entity from accessing the internet, and thus we can all sleep safely in our beds tonight.

I'm surprised no one suggested this earlier.

---> Icon...because like Paris, the highly placed UK Government source doesn't have a fucking clue.

Wi-Fi sex toy with built-in camera fails penetration test

That's not the backdoor action you're looking for.

Move along.

Move along.

Reg now behind invisible HTML5 Bitcoin paywall

Where's our dosh???

Surely the commentards should get a share of the bitcoins raised from this wonderful endeavour?

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

I look forward to the tales of BOFH & Co on a Friday. Entertaining, and a reminder it's not too long until Beer O'Clock.

Have one one me ---->

Confidence in £70m customs system has 'collapsed', warns Treasury Committee

"you can fly to Gib because it's a British overseas territory and take surface transport to Spanish reports."

Possibly time to invest in a Gib-based coach company?

BDSM sex rocks Drupal world: Top dev banished for sci-fi hanky-panky

Re: Explains everything

"Both times felt like being on my knees and sodomised with a pineapple."

Punters normally get charged top dollar for that experience.

Thank goodness no one knows about my subscription to Whips & Leathers Monthly.

Your internet history on sale to highest bidder: US Congress votes to shred ISP privacy rules

Re: Whatever happened

Arrgghh....

I've just read the other El Reg news article about ISP privacy rules, and see that a commentard suggested TrackMeNot six hours earlier than I did.

D'oh.

Re: So which VPN folks?

Here's one selection of "Best VPNs"...

https://torrentfreak.com/vpn-services-anonymous-review-2017-170304/

If you do a search you'll find lots of different lists, but you'll notice some of the same VPN providers cropping up time after time. That might point you in the right direction.

Re: Whatever happened

TrackMeNot is an add-on for Firefox (not sure if it works on other browsers, as I've not tried).

It runs in the background doing random searches to various search engines. You've control over the search engines, frequency of searches, and to some extent what the searches are for. You can add search engines, and change the sources of the search criteria.

It's certainly not perfect, but it helps muddy the waters for the ISPs.

Ex-broadband biz 186k hit by major outage

Is 186K now the value of the company?

People may have been wrongly sent back to prison over faulty tags

Warning letter?

I find it hard to believe that G4S would only send a warning letter to someone they suspected of tampering with their ankle tag.

Surely it's much easier to feel the collar of said miscreant and send him/her back to pokey?

Who's going to believe the miscreant when he/she whines "It wasn't me Guv"?

Astroboffins clock thriving stellar nursery nestled in violent supermassive black hole

Have the astroboffins found a galactic rail gun?

UK digital minister Matt Hancock praises 'crucial role' of encryption

The pool of political talent available to Theresa May when she had to choose a Home Secretary must have been very small.

Boffins crowdsource hunt for 'Planet 9'

Is the hunt for Planet Nine led by Boffins or Astroboffins?

Pedants need to know.

UK Home Sec: Give us a snoop-around for WhatApp encryption. Don't worry, we won't go into the cloud

Vehicle hire...

@big_D

Over the weekend I read a suggestion from one genius that all car hire companies should have to ask their customers the reasons for hiring a vehicle. Apparently this would prevent future similar terrorist incidents.

Sales Clerk. "What is the proposed purpose of this vehicle hire?"

Terrorist. "I am a jihadist, and intend to carry out a terrorist attack against non-believers".

Sales Clerk. "OK Sir. Can you sign each page at the bottom where I've marked X. The pink copy is yours. You'll need to bring that back when you return the car. If you can take a seat over there for a few minutes, I've just to to ring PC Plod at the police station. Just an administrative thing. Shouldn't take too long."

Re: Here we go again. The 'Claire Perry Test'

@nick_rampart

..."founded a company to look for Zinc in Peru : didn't find any"

I actually LoL'd at this. Thank you for making Monday AM a little easier.

Re: Sigh

"Message to Amber Rudd"

Oddly enough I guessed that "Fuck Off" might be the message.

I obviously have a career ahead of me as a cryptographer (until the fuckwits in the UK Guvmint make cryptography illegal).

Ever visited a land now under Islamic State rule? And you want to see America? Hand over that Facebook, Twitter, pal

Re: The key word is 'Ever'

"I lived in what is now Yemen for a couple of years."

Have a look out of your window. Can you seen an unmarked van with no windows parked about 100 metres away?

/TinFoilHatMode

US Senate votes to let broadband ISPs sell your browser histories

Re: I wonder...

It would be interesting to see how this affects the number of US customers VPN providers accrue over the coming weeks.

Are the US public (outside of the IT community) savvy enough to realise this is happening, and that they can avoid the data slurp by using a VPN? Anyone in Trumpland care to hazard an opinion?

Re: Plus ca change...

Will Rogers got that straight from the horse's mouth.

Gov may need to splash £245m per year on IT contractors – NAO

I see that they've had to bring in Amyas Morse to join up the dots.

I'll get my coat...

FedEx will deliver you $5.00 just to install Flash

FedEx Office Print

Must make a note of that on my "Avoid This Shit At All Costs" list.

A $5 bribe? It's nowhere near enough.

If you were cuffed during Trump's inauguration, cops are trying to crack your smartphone

Trials en masse ??

"The US government is also planning to conduct the trials en masse to save time."

That hardly seems a fair and just way to treat the defendants. Is it an abuse of judicial process?

Amazing new WikiLeaks CIA bombshell: Agents can install software on Apple Macs, iPhones right in front of them

AC... "So if I'm reading this right I just need to post stuff to the internet to get me on a watch list then start entering competitions to get free stuff?"

Well done! You've won a free Samsung television.

Please contact Mr A. Spook at PO Box 3255, London, SW1P 1AE.

Disney plotting 15 more years of Star Wars

Who is Hans Solo?

Is it a new character?

TRAPPIST-1's planets are quiet. Quiet as the grave, in fact

@AC ...the fairy tale of Darwinian evolution

"I see more people are still clinging to the fairy tale of Darwinian evolution."

Was that typed by a moron or a troll?

Or a moronic troll? I can't tell the difference.

eBay dumps users into insecure authentication mechanism

Re: Maybe not about 2FA?

I use a cheap 2G phone on a PAYG tariff purely for two factor authentication texts. Inexpensive, and it avoids Google or Amazon or whoever from having my personal cell number.

Plusnet slapped with £880k fine for billing ex customers

Re: "I hate the fucking Eagles, man."

[Segue into Viva Las Vegas]

I always keep a careful watch on my bank accounts after cancelling direct debits or subscriptions. It's astonishing that lots of naive folks put their trust in the ability of faceless companies to follow their request and stop billing them. It doesn't always turn out well.

Now THAT'S a landslide victory: Astroboffins snap avalanche on a comet in science first

Stunning...

A stunning mission. Even with the setback of the lander bouncing into a shady spot it's still an incredible achievement.

Cap doffed to all involved.

ICO scolds UK councils: GDPR is coming. Are you ready? Pop quiz says you're not

Information Security Breaches...

Does your council maintain a corporate log / register of information security breaches?

153 (88.4%)

Yes

20 (11.6%)

No

The 20 councils that answered 'No' need their collective nuts roasting over an open fire. That might focus their minds on a new 'To Do' list.

FBI, NSA top brass: We've seen jack squat to back up Trump's claims of Obama wiretaps

Trump-Kremlin links probe?

"[Comey] was not asked why he went public, twice, about investigations into the Clinton campaign while keeping the Trump-Kremlin links probe quiet."

The elephant in the room.

Airplane bomb fears spark America's laptop, tablet carry-on ban

Baggage handling...

...at all airports leaves a lot to be desired. I wouldn't be happy at leaving a high-end laptop in my suitcase. It's either going to get stolen or damaged.

Murder in space: NASA orders astronauts to KILL cripples – then fire bodies back to Earth

No animals were harmed during the making of this program.

Oh, wait.....

Beijing deploys facial scanners to counter public toilet abuse

El Reg typo?

"Beijing authorities are forcing desperate defectors to submit to a facial scan"

Surely that should be "desperate defecators" ?

Norfolk County Council sent filing cabinet filled with kids' info to a second-hand shop

@Spudley

Perhaps the ICO should have fined the charity shop as well!!

This ----> "Meanwhile, it's the council tax payers who'll eventually foot the bill."

The council may even put next years council tax up by a few pennies to take the fine into account.

It's about time the actual persons guilty of such data breaches were also penalised by the ICO. It would probably make people a little more aware of their responsibilities if they knew they could get fined after a blatant cock-up.

Canada's privacy watchdog probes US border phone seizures

Re: Take a "throwaway" spare phone

Border Guard: "Do you have another cellphone?"

Tourist: "No".

BG: "Ah ha! Your baggage was Xrayed, and we have found another cellphone! Bubba, take this felon to the body cavity search room. We need to do a thorough job on this one".

Barrister fined after idiot husband slings unencrypted client data onto the internet

Re: Online backup?

The ShedDrive would need to be padlocked when not in use, obviously.

Top Tips For Barristers...

"when her husband backed them up using an online file directory service while he was updating software on the couple's home computer"

Top Tip... Buy yourself a laptop. Don't let anyone else use it. You could even consider using encryption...just a passing thought.

Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

Re: Best bit

Also amusing that the Irish Medical Journal article can quote ten other articles in its bibliography.

Ouch!

[ I'm still feeling ill after looking at the NSFW photo on the article ]

National Insurance tax U-turn: Philip Hammond nixes NIC uptick

Planning

Proper preparation and planning prevents piss-poor performance.

US Marine Corps chiefs declare WAR on stolen sex snap sharing scum

Re: "pervert our culture"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j3_iPskjxk

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.