Posts by Martin Huizing

Remembering the true* first portable computer

So, is it running the same software as...

...the USB missile launcher?

Paris because of the similarities in brain capacity! (sorry Paris, we're still friends)

Jail for Hong Kong techie who exposed stars' sex snaps

I agree with Jack

In America bad publicity = good publicity but not in conservative Asia. One of the women involved is a 'Twins' singer and actor (not the Olson one) and did a string of English teaching music videos for ESL kids. Never looked at her the same way after...

Don't record yourself by others unless you want to keep it for yourself. (or get paid for it, like Paris)

Wi-Fi finds its way into park bench

Faulty by design.

If the bench is popular, it will be occupied constantly. Being so, sunlight would be blocked and 'batteries' not charged.

I have a better idea. A bench with a foot-operated pedal with dynamo. Power galore even when the sun is down. Wobbly legs would bump the laptop of the, eh... lap, but I am sure we can think of something for that too.

Sky broadcasts live 3D pop concert

Screw the arts programming...

BRING ON THE PORN!

I'll be in the pub till that happens.

Asus takes Lamborghini laptop out for a spin

Out for a spin?

got to be joking me. I didn't see 1 thing spinning, let alone being reviewed here...

Dell Inspiron Mini 12 notebook-not-netbook

@Colin

Get a girlfriend mate. Seriously. Get a girlfriend and buy this sexy netbook, place it in the corner of the bed and imagine a 3p situation. Nerd bliss!

Samsung S1 Mini 1.8in external hard drive

"not much larger than this picture"

That's a huge device! I measured it while projected on my wall!

Mr. and Mrs. Boring lose Google Street View tilt

Anyone...

...got a link to their house on Google Earth?

hehehehe

Paris, cause she is also public property.

Joker must retire, insist Heath Ledger fans

Digital age

I am sure there is a 'digital copy' of Heath they can use to create a digital Joker character.

I do have to agree his performance was phenomenal I'd hate to take anyone else take his place.

Then again there are so many super villains for Batman to battle...

Investigators claim UK's largest 'illegal game copying device' haul

Funny. Underneath the article 'IT is evolving the UK workforce, read more here' is printed.

Kinda ironic, don't ya think?

Martin, China

Samsung demos amazing folding phone

Damn!

Just broke my phone trying just that!

Mine is the coat that *does* bend!

Group Test: Blu-ray Disc players

At Evil Graham and AC.

All players have their own processing chips to decode the data. Granted they follow rules to adhere to BluRay standards but they do other things too.

One of the image processing tasks is to upscale DVD format to Hi def image. Depending on the algorithms used there will be slight differences in image quality.

These image processors also calculate hue, contrast, levels of darkness etc... Depending on how they are set by default or how they can be modified can reduce image quality and clarity. I agree with the review and think it is difficult to rate these devices on image quality alone so I am happy they included other factors.

My two cents (renminbi)

Nissan to debut anti-prang tech next week

We've all gone crazy!

We have ear mounted devices that prevent us from sleeping behind the wheel.

We have GPS systems to guide us around jams.

We have handsfree sets for our phones.

We have distance sensors telling us how to park.

Does anyone just drive anymore, or is it just me!?

People who are drowsy think that ear mounted device will keep them awake.

People following GPS instructions will inevitably hit a tree or end up in a small river.

People with handsfree sets end up using them to call roadside help after causing accidents.

Women drivers (oh oh) and distance sensors... I need not say more.

And now we have another system to rely on!?

Jeez people, LEARN HOW TO F*CKING DRIVE!

US made to wait for Quantum of Solace

@Mark Roome

Open a web browser, usually found in your start menu or on your desktop. The start menu is on the bottom left of your screen. Click with your left mouse button on the Internet Explorer icon (picture) and the web browser will open. If you have a teenage child there might be an Icon displaying Firefox. Click that one if you are unsure which one to choose.

A white bar should appear at the top of the Web browser window. Click there once with your left mouse button. The text inside will turn blue. Then type: "www.google.com" *without the quotation marks and press 'Enter'. (large key on the right hand side of your keyboard. On some older keyboards it will say "Return". Both will do fine.

Now the search engine will display a text box. In it type:

"Who is Jack Bauer?" and press the "Enter" or "Return" key on your keyboard.

If at any point you see "www. google.comenterreturn" or "Who is Jack Bauer?enterreturn" you will have to ask your patiently waiting teenage son or daughter for help. Have fun browsing!

Our plasmas last for 42 years, claims Panasonic

Back in Holland

I hope when I am old and Gray, 43 years in the future I might get that ol' retro feeling hooking up this heavy piece of equipment and just watch the white noise as there won't be anything remotely resembling anything that could be hooked up to it!

Paris, cause in 43 years she will have lost all connection too.

Philips Cineos 42PFL9603D Ambilight LCD TV

@Joerg

Pls copy your PhD in Ophthalmology and Optometry so at least you look professional. Otherwise I'd have to agree with the others.

Good reading on eye strain:

http://www.office-ergo.com/12things1.htm

I like this part covering some reasons:

"the luminance (brightness) difference between what is being looked at and its immediate environment"

Ambilight would in fact lower the contrast ratio and 'soften' the blow, wouldn't you agree, fanboi?

Paris Hilton - the compromised candidate

Re: Paris Hilton... why?

"what do you guys see in her?!"

Put it simple; She is the type of girl that nerds, systems engineers, beancounters, pfy's (you get my drift) actually have a chance of getting in real life.

Why need a girlfriend with a rack when you already have a stack of them?

Why flying cars are better than electric ones

Downing street, August 3rd 2023

Rookie: "Skies are clear sir. The terrorists seem to be waiting for something..."

General: "For what? Ah, damn it! It's been too long I've been without coffee. I am losing it"

Rookie slaps general in the face.

"Keep it together sir."

General: "Damn! Whose idea was it to have flying cars in the first place!?"

Rookie: "That would be 'The Register', sir."

General: "The who?"

Rookie: "No sir, that was a progressive rock band from the 70's. I mean The Register, an IT related online magazine from the late 20th century. Generally good stuff."

General: "Why couldn't they just stick to computers... *Sigh*"

Rookie: "*Sigh*"

Roberts solarDAB radio

Are we just plain dumb...

To allow another useless gadget into our midst? The novelty will wear off as any other gadget and instead of trying to safe the planet it will only provide more rubbish during planning, production, use and as a waste(d) product. Don't we already have phones that provide this radio reception? TV now even? Granted they are not solar powered, but I've seen solar powered mobile phone chargers.

I remember my first transistor radio and it was small, sleek and provided great value while riding my bicycle to work. Come to think of it, I miss my old portable radio and the nostalgic notion of being able to ride and listen to music at the same time, a luxury not many people had at that time. Will people be amazed at me still while carrying a solar powered portable device that let people enjoy good radio come rain nor shine?

Screw the environment. I want to get one too!

Windows veteran jumps to second Silverlight

I'll start:

Microdobe

Flashsoft

Silverflash

Flashlight (hehehe)

Remember folks, you heard it here first!

Paris 'cause Microsoft could learn something from her:

Don't make something that you regret when it hits the street.

GTA IV PS3 fights off resolution woes in the UK

@Mark

eh... what planet are you from where mice weigh heavier than elephants?

Paris because she looks soooo much better on the new generation LCD screens.

HP pulls memory Missing Link from bottle of beer

You had me at 'beer'.

Mine is the... eh... the... last one when I return just before closing time...

Yahoo! to post Google ads on Yahoo!

Appropriate phrase:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Nude Marilyn Monroe flambés dog, serves atop fire extinguisher

Endangered species?

I was under the impression that country-side haggis was on the endangered list and could not be hunted. Sea haggis on the other side are plentiful, although there are some treehuggers (way to ruin a party) that are seabound trying to save a few.

Paris Hilton might have something to say about that!

Microhoo! or YahSoft!? The! people! must! decide!

Let me see...

yoohoogoogle! (Are you there?)

MSY (Why? 'cause I gotta!)

Yahoo! (when MS realizes that fish bite back)

Mahoo! (We all owe it to mum)

MSX! (Anyone remember this?)

Miycarhoosooft! (just an idea)

Yamaicansoft (peace)

Nevergonnahappen! (Yahoo!'s answer)

Linux! (Shit happens, Microsoft)

Fubar! (one month after takeover)

Layoff! (two months after takeover)

Leftover! (three months after takeover)

Scraps! (any bid!)

PH! (Any excuse!)

New Mexico bets future on promiscuous supercomputer

Space.

When are people going to send a super-duper computer into space? Free cooling and unlimited solar power. Just a satellite uplink necessary. Am I the first and only one to think this???

Japanese geek trio blow up mice

First? I hope so. It is printed so I keep the rights to:

The fingermouse! You slide a cap over your finger with a usb connection to the computer and voila!

Spell-check didn't find this word in the dictionary so it must be new!

$400 fine for anyone using 'fingermouse' in any form! It is still concept but I am sure I can provide a viable version in the near future.

Ah, yes Charlie. Mine is the one with the dead-mouse smell and no, you can't smell my finger!

Man buys MacBook Air, pulls it apart, takes pics

Apple is truly innovative.

Guys, have you not gotten it through your thick skulls that this is a giant leap forward in the quest for miniaturization? Future, no doubt more powerful and with more feature-ridden, machines will all look as sleek (or sleeker) like this. Apple is paving the way. Expensive? Yes. Limited? Also but there is no question about taste, is there?

Soon we will find thin cool laptops everywhere when prices drop.

And then maybe we will find a thin and cool OS to compliment its features...

Toshiba HD-EP30 HD DVD player

Has anyone ever considered...

...that Blu/HD/DVD/CD/Tape could be a dying breed altogether?

Right now I am downloading HD movies (Hd and blu rips) and watch it on my HighDef screen. I know some people don't have a fast internet connection or a PC that is fast enough to pump out the pixels, but for the time being it looks like the cheaper option.

Oh, and when there is a good download service and the right price for downloading Highdef movies, I'll be the first to pay but till then I couldn't be arsed to pay for the technology used for the media instead of the actual movie.

Researchers share video contact lens vision

@OrsonX

Yo dude, lighten up. Anon was right and you are saying the same thing.

Myself? I love looking up to a blue sky and watch small blobs of things floating in the milky fluid that resided in my eyeballs since (and before) I was born.

I can focus a bit better without my glasses though (-8)

Paris Hilton cause I once saw her floating by as well!

USB 'compact cassette' promises 1980s nostalgia, home taping

Hey, they gave the reason for the small storage:

"Stores up to one hour of music, just like a C60 Cassette."

Wonder who will be suckered into buying it. Not me!

Microsoft readies Hal 9000

I can see it now:

BSOD with:

"I'm sorry User, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Friday already!?

The Electric Car Conspiracy ... that never was

oil oil oil

James,

<Rant>No one can convince me otherwise that the reason for abandoning the electric car project(s) is because of oil oil oil. The stuff that keeps a big (not great) nation running and puts the fear of not needing it in hearts and minds of its citizens.

</Rant>

Although true but seriously; The first car was fuel inefficient, slow and dangerous. Because it was innovative more people wanted it and was slowly over time perfected into the beast of beauty we are happy to drive and feel safe in today.

If only the electric car could receive the same treatment... Yes. It would be slow at first, but after a while modern developments would lift the hunk-of-battery packed road menace into a economic, fast, clean and more importantly; fuel efficient vehicle with all the positives the internal combustion propelled automobile could not provide.

Large battery? Waiting to be charged? Here in China people are riding battery powered motorcycles (eh... batterycycles. hehehe). These people (and I will be one of them soon) have no problem changing the batteries as they are quite light-weight. Who says, just like notebook batteries, their size won't decrease over time and provide more energy for value?

My two cents. Thanks.

Martin

Jobs iCon 'cause I believe he will invent an iMoped soon!

Beer makes people have sex with you

Beer...

...the stuff that keeps you company till the bar closes and you have better company accompanying you home!

Coat, door, rubber(s) ->pub!

Microsoft kills Santa Claus

@solomon

Say, I hate to disillusion you after all these years, but the guy who was "eating your mum's cookies" every christmas was your real dad, the neighbor.

I'll get my coat...

Mobe, mobe, mobe. There - we've said it

Web 2.0 application anyone?

<mobe>

Insert flame here

btw. Here is Paris Hilton for you!

</mobe>

Win XP also prone to random number bug

Random number generator

Computers are unable to generate random numbers unless you use variables including temperature differentials, something organic or, my favorite, a coin-toss.

Just ask Deep thought. The answer was pretty predictable if you ask me! (might take a while to get an answer though)

Sozzled Oz footie fan tattoed with 'gay' team tribute

My friend

had a tattoo of a heart on her lower back. She wanted to see it in the mirror so she asked it to be up-side down.

Whenever she wears a short shirt it looks like she has a butt on her bum!

Remembering the Commodore PET 2001

Wake me up...

...when you re-review the TRS-80. The first computer my mother bought me for Christmas. Green glowing screen, clickety keyboard, tape deck I used later for my Toshiba MSX-1 and the first computer I blew-up! Ah.. Nostalgia galore!

Pentax Optio Z10 digital camera

Resolution and clarity.

Depending on the CCD used, having a higher resolution CCD only makes sense if the picture (100% zoomed in) provides a clear picture without banding (purple infringement around edges) and no loss of quality. Many high-resolution zoomed in max look crap.

My camera Fuji Finepix F10 provides pics at exactly the MP's it said it could produce.

Always before buying: Look at sample pics!

Canon Ixus 860 IS compact camera

I agree with Anonymous Coward

With all due respect to the writer but this review sucked.

Sample photo's should be the original size and not down-scaled. (1000x750 wth)

Photo's of people, please!

Macro pics should have something in it so we can compare the size of the object photographed.

Eh... Movie sample?

Please!

LaCie Golden Disk 500GB external hard drive

Yes, but...

...does it blend?

Microsoft fires cannon at counterfeiters

Sure...

...750 thou jobs lost, but how many jobs created in the counterfeit market? Those are people too, you know!

hehehe

ps. I use a counterfeit Windows ME as my beer place mat (for all the right reasons).

Martin

The sarcastic TV

Only in Japan?

Being insulted in Japanese!? I have to learn the language first so I know how I am insulted. No thanks! I'm off to the pub! (Chinese restaurant downstairs)

PC superstore unhinged by Linux

How about this?

Search results for: "linux"

PC World Recommends Windows Vista® Home Premium

Orange network throws a wobbler

Regarding Skype

What's wrong with Skype?

Martin

Missing DNA fails to kill mice

Look to the past to know our path in the future.

Back-Track and linkage information stored for future generations to be able to look back and see where we were coming from.

But that's just my idea...

Martin

Nokia ships 100 million phones in Q2

questionable reasoning skills... (iPhone vs Nokia)

Nokia has numerous more models than Apple corp. has at this moment. Anyone remember the Nokia Communicator? That's a good one to compare. Too tired to look for it, but if you like, you can check the start-up period sales figures and see how they compare to the iPhone (iHype)!

Taser markets electric cattleprod gun to the laydeez

Try my way...

Robber comes my way. I state that I have no cash. Robber asks what do I have. I say I can write a check. I get a pen out and ask robber to write down the amount he/she would like to have. Robber takes pen and gets a jolt from it (zapper pen). Both of us are rolling on the floor laughing. Nobody gets hurt and everyone is happy.

Martin

Mum given young nympho's phone number

On Youtube,,,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIxqVEJtSdk

...you can listen to some Chinese who dialed my number giving me a hard time.

He, of course, called the wrong number...