Posts by jim

Seagate promises second fault fix in 24 hours

Free upgrade

How dare Seagate call it a FREE upgrade.

They produced a flawed product to begin with and now offer a way of mending it.

Shame on you Seagate. It is NOT free but essential to save your face.

Doner kebabs: Death wrapped in pitta bread

One meal a day

"..98 per cent of daily salt, nearly 1000 calories"

That means that you only need to eat a Doner a day to get your daily allowances.

Excellent. That'll save on the cooking at home then :)

Humvee with frikkin laser on it takes out killer robot

Who else has UAVs?

Very good Boeing. Go to the top of the class.

Can you tell me what other countries have UAVs which you will use this laser to shoot down?

See; a fundamental flaw in your research. I could have saved you $157 million.

Apple preps patch for 'problematic 3G' iPhone?

Recall

Why don't Apple just admit that they've messed up and recall all 5.5 million iphone 3Gs.

Easy peasy

Sat nav blunder places The Rock in Skegness

Wheels etc..

He's lucky he didn't have his wheels stolen while parked up.

Anyway what could Gib possibly want from Syria, and by the truck load?

Cardiff 'copter coppers give chase to UFO

Sack 'em

Sack the load of 'em.

They are all obviously on drugs or were inhaling Helicopter turbine fumes. Still sack them though.

Verizon sends text messages to the big screen

P2P

Will this affect my camera which I use to record movies and then publish on P2P?

EU project scans air passengers for terrorist tendencies

WTF...Ferryman

WTF....This asshole Dr Ferryman has once again conned stupid EU governments run by Luddite idiots of which Gordon Brown is one big one.

EASY....Just thrust a pen/biro through the camera lens.

If everyone on board did this on every flight the airline would go bust in days due to the replacement cost.

PayPal meltdown wreaks havoc on some ecommerce websites

Oh dear PapyPal.....

http://www.paypalsucks.com

BT profits nothing to phone home about

Competition

Funny how BT did so well BEFORE they had any competition.

Just shows you how crap they are now that others are "Doing the same thing" but better.

Dixons admits 'it's even worse than you thought'

Motherboard?

Went into a PC World the other day and within a nano-second was asked by a spotty teenager if I needed any help.

I said: "Yes...I am looking for a motherboard".

He said: "What"?

I repeated what I'd said and he went off to ask somoene what I meant.

That's the reason why PC World is crap and not performing. At last some knob at the top has realised that you have to spend money on training. It's only taken them 10 years to work that out !

DWP still sending out passwords and discs together

Is that so?

A DWP spokeswoman sent us the following statement:

"We take the security of individuals' data extremely seriously".

Well obviosly you don't or this would not have happened. Doh...

My god, some of my hard earned tax goes towards employing these idiotic Civil Servants. What a bunch of low IQ dorks.

Lancashire plodcopters in laser dazzle outrage outbreak

Poor little pilot

Why did you look at the beam you idiot if you thought it would blind you?

You should have your pesky flying licence revoked immediately and never revalidated for putting the lives of your colleagues on the heliocpter with you at risk.

Shame on you Pig Flyer.

Rogue MP3 Trojan streaks across P2P networks

Michael C....The Perfect Person

Well Michael C aren't you the perfect person?

You now have no illegal files on your PC but think you have the right to preach to others about tihngs you illegally did a "While" ago.

Why don't you crawl away and preach to others who give a phuck about your little sermons. Why do you think anyone is interested in what you have/don't have on your PC?

If I was the RIAA I would track you down and sue the be-jesus outta you.

I have downloaded hunderds of tracks on P2P and have never had the problems you mention. Maybe you are better suited to playing Solitaire rather than attempting big boys stuff as you clearly are inadequate.

Biometrics plan for London Olympic builders

Facial recognition

Yeah right.....bald headed full bearded terrorists all look the same.

Prepare for the system to fail at the first hurdle.

Airport staff to be first with compulsory ID cards, say Tories

Next election

Are Labour trying to lose the next General Election?

They will if they insist on ID cards.

Brown, Darling, Smith. What a disaster.

Terrorist robots dissected - anatomy of a scare

Missed the obvious

The old farts at this meeting missed the obvious easy option.

A model speedboat capable of carrying 250LB of explosive with GPS on board.

This boat could be released on its merry way from ANYWHERE along the UK coast, without fear of being seen, right next to the wall next to the House of Commons.

BOOOOMMMMMM

Easy peasy. No flying. No payload weight problems etc...

Airline pilot sacked for 777 Top Gun stunt

Excellent

I hope it scared the Management shitless.

If they can't handle a lowpass then they shouldn't be part of an airline.

Get out and be a Manager for Spud-U-Like instead.

Huge VAT fraud tab eclipses EU's age-old scams

Windows

Get rid of VAT and tax on how many windows your home has.

Easy peasy.

>>>>>>>>>>>COAT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Counterfeit vans: A little-known online grocery scam

Goods

What about getting their house in order to stop selling counterfeit goods BEFORE sorting out their vans.

Is that pile of ashes my coat....

Opera screeches at Mozilla over security disclosure

Grow up Opera

Can't stand the heat then.......Get your coats.

Forth Bridge painters to down brushes in 2012

Cheap

£74m is only a 1000th of what the Labour Government have stolen from its tax payers to bung into Northern Rock.

Physicists fire up strontium atomic clock

@ WTF

How will they set the correct time when they turn it on for the first time?

Will they ring 123?

Who stole my coat........

'Suspicious comment' provokes LAX terminal evacuation

Muslim

Apparently he looked like a Muslim. Need I say more ?

Ordinary-fuel scramjet prototype suffers test failure

Hit or miss?

Did it hit the target though?

M&S flogs lingerie model with 'durable hardwood feet'

Static

Composition:

45% viscose, 37% polyester and 18% cotton

Could cause me a bit of static with continual rubbing.

Do they do it in pure 100% cotton?

Tiscali bandwidth throttling flub fix flops

F2S

I was with Freedom To Surf for over 3 years.

Very happy UNTIL PIPEX took over.

Their excessive bandwidth throttling eventually made me MAC outta there fast.

Maybe Tiscali have done the same as PIPEX.

It was the MacBook Air sub-notebook

Windows

Does it run Windows XP?

Satellite sea launch successful

Colour

Don't like the colour of the rocket.

Bluetooth's coming home

Excellent

I live in a flat overlooking the pitch.

I am going to make a stonking killing from this. It will help with my council rent.

Bring it on. I'll be using as many phones as I can get hold of to get me loadsa dosh.

MasterCard's Maestro struggles to cope with Xmas

They've done it again

They were obviously telling Porkies here

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/04/mastercard_maestro_transactions_cockup/

Naughty naught Maestro

Kaspersky false alarm quarantines Windows Explorer

Firefox

I don't care about MS Windows explorer 'cos I use .

I run Chinese anti virus and it is very good.

'Beer Hunter' lifts 40,000 pints of Guinness

@ Refund

How much refund will they get for returning the empty kegs?

Tasers can be instrument of torture, says UN

What a load of Bo**ox

Well the company rep would say that. God help his company if Taser guns were outlawed. The company would go bust overnight.

Oh and dropping dead immediately from electric shock. I don't think so. The electric chair can prove that theory wrong and that uses massive amounts of energy.

Darling admits Revenue loss of 25 million personal records

Tossers

What do expect from a bunch of over paid, over pensioned Civil Servants?

What a bunch of idiotic tossers.

This will surely be the death of the ID card. Thank god.

CA shoves out BrightStor security fix

Title

What is CA?

Camera pole puts you in the frame

Baby's eyes

Why hasn't the baby got eye sun protection. Shame on you parents.