* Posts by Unoriginal Handle

27 posts • joined 30 Oct 2016

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Hang on, the PDP 11/70 has dropped offline

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Front panels and security keys...

Key-related topic drift...

I worked in the Newbury offices of Cabletron, and we had a lab with all sorts of kit in it to simulate a network for the Spectrum software my team and I was supporting. We kept the lab locked because kit would be raided for urgent customer requirements ( i.e. rapid replacement of broken kit on site). But the key sometimes took a while to come back or we'd havr to go and find it.

Until the day the 8 x 4 metal door sign with "Lab" on it no longer stuck properly. So I used a split ring to attach the key to the sign, and funnily enough the key was always promptly returned from then on.

No Wiggle room: Two weeks after angry bike shop customers report mystery orders on their accounts, firm confirms payment cards delinked

Unoriginal Handle

Re: At Chris G, re: Lycranthropist.

Cellophane? Surely wouldn't his thighs have stuck together?

You can't have it both ways: Anti-coronavirus masks may thwart our creepy face-recog cameras, London cops admit

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Lookie likey

I thought we had to use the terms "thinking challenged" or "thinking deficient"...

Cyber attack against UK power grid middleman Elexon sparks in-house IT recovery efforts

Unoriginal Handle

If they are going to pay the ransom, why not pay in electricity, rather than directly in bitcoin ? After all, they know where the electricity is and how to get hold of it :)

Mine's the coat with the multimeter in the pocket.

Boeing 787s must be turned off and on every 51 days to prevent 'misleading data' being shown to pilots

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Windows Server 2000

"Reboot every 42 days" - so *that's* the answer!

We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks

Unoriginal Handle

In my first IT job (WH Pitt / Signal Limited) in the early/mid 09s I worked on ICL DRS300 running CCPMs. Never realised there were games for it !

Instagram influencer fools followers into thinking Ikea photoshoot was Bali holiday

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Ah!

I temporarily misread that as "AI! The stupoidity which keeps on giving"...

Tech can endure the most inhospitable environments: Space, underwater, down t'pit... even hairdressers

Unoriginal Handle

It's been going on for centuries...


Behold the perils of trying to turn the family and friends support line into a sideline

Unoriginal Handle

Re: I've had my share.

My turn to be geek.

Kiowa - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_OH-58_Kiowa

or Apache Longbow - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AgustaWestland_Apache

I just love your accent – please, have a new password

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Scottish accent

Gratuitous Billy Connolly sketch, because it mentions "effers" and it relies on a Scottish accent. Well, at least BC does...


Transport for London Oyster system pulled offline after credential-stuffing crooks board customers' accounts

Unoriginal Handle

Re: We encourage all customers not to use the same password for multiple sites

I always put myself down as Michael Mouse, email address m.mouse@disney.com.

If that doesn't work, then Michael Souris, m.souris@disney.com.

Let's talk about April Fools' Day jokes. Are they ever really harmless?

Unoriginal Handle

One particularly irksome colleague in a job far far away played golf on his work PC on a regular basis.

Someone (who, me?) added a "golf.bat" and changed precedence so it ran before the golf.com or gold.exe, whichever it was.

The golf.bat said something like "you're playing games in work time, your hard disk will be deleted", then paused for a moment and ran chkdsk /f in silent mode.

Time from starting playing golf to punching the power button - about 2 seconds, perhaps less.

Poetic justice: Mum funnels £100 into claw machine to win single Dumbo teddy for her kid

Unoriginal Handle

Re: I beleve in Unicorns

Much like Pastafarians, who worship The Flying Spaghetti Monster...


Apple stock hits bottom ... as AirPod exits man's backside and still works after colonic travels

Unoriginal Handle

A suppository?

In the Pedant's Corner...if it was a suppository then he'd have to have made some serious contortions to get the AirPod in...

And on an unrelated note, and only to crowbar the joke in, I always thought "innuendo" were Italian suppositories until someone corrected me...

Having a bad day? Be thankful you don't work at a Russian ISP: Kremlin signs off Pootynet restrictions

Unoriginal Handle

Re: @JLV - Go, Putain, go

And the Chinese are brazen enough to do it in the US...


Complex automation won't make fleshbags obsolete, not when the end result is this dumb

Unoriginal Handle

Here's a link to that story - https://www.evo.co.uk/mitsubishi/7439/mitsubishi-evo-mr-340

And yes, most people haven't a clue how to drive in standard conditions, let alone when they or the weather make them non-standard.

Your pal in IT quits. Her last words: 'Converged infrastructure...' What does it all mean? We think we can explain

Unoriginal Handle

Re: The new mainframe?

"Just a continuation of the inexorable raising of the level of the presented interfaces in all hardware and software systems over time"

Yep, while underneath the complexities are very real. How many folks can use a browser to buy something over the Internet, compared with how many understand the interactions end to end which achieve that result? And the skills to understand that are few and far between.

It's what caught RBS out some years ago - no-one understood the whole picture in detail so each bit worked but the whole didn't.

Mikrotik routers pwned en masse, send network data to mysterious box

Unoriginal Handle

Blocking an external management interface from direct access from the internet is an absolute must. If you have to, VPN access to the box and do it that way. If nothing else the logs on the box fill up with denied SSH requests and the filesystem gets to 100% and the box does funny things up to and including becoming unresponsive...

UK.gov finally adds Galileo and Copernicus to the Brexit divorce bill

Unoriginal Handle


Upvoted for the reference to "battered" in a comment involving Scotland...

No big deal... Kremlin hackers 'jumped air-gapped networks' to pwn US power utilities

Unoriginal Handle

Re: More detail please


Mega medical tester pester: It smacked a big one, that malware scam, if indeed it was SamSam

Unoriginal Handle

Re: "defenders don't have minutes to mitigate, they have seconds"

There are tools available commercially *now* which can protect endpoints of all sorts (laptops, servers, workstations, IoT, SCADA, ....) but a lot of customers are in the "I've got A/V, I'm sorted". No good if the A/V doesn't have a signature for the malware being used against them.

Helicopter crashes after manoeuvres to 'avoid... DJI Phantom drone'

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Pink Unicorn?

There are times - hopefully very rare - when either the handover doesn't happen in the right way, or it needs to happen VERY quickly. I'd suggest that this incident falls into the latter category - instructor thinks he's under threat, reacts, ends up with no tail rotor.

Stop calling, stop calling... ICO goes gaga after home improvement biz ignores warnings

Unoriginal Handle

I'm surprised no-one has posted this yet:


Stop your moaning, says maker of buggy Bluetooth sex toy

Unoriginal Handle

Lithium-Ion batteries?

If the batteries are Li-Ion, that may bring a whole new meaning to "hot sex" ?

Brit broke anti-terror law by refusing to cough up passwords to cops

Unoriginal Handle

Re: Since when has "you have the right to remain silent" = "you are a terrorist"

"You haven't had the right to silence since 1994. You don't have to speak, but you'll be considered guilty if you don't."

Not quite. You still have the right to remain silent. But if you go "no comment" in an interview then drag something up in court which you knew but didn't mention during or after the interview, the court can infer adverse things from it.

You will be considered innocent, in the court's eyes, unless there is evidence beyond reasonable doubt that you are guilty. And it's the police service's job to find that evidence, not yours to provide evidence of innocence.

That said, I do think in the case referred to in the article that it's stretching things to suspect the gent involved of terrorism when apparently all he's done is to interview someone with potential evidence of US involvement in torture, in a similar manner to David Miranda's detention some years ago at Heathrow.

Situation normal, blurts T-Mobile, while network continues to crap itself

Unoriginal Handle

"T-Mobile never notifies the customer when there's an issue," she says.

Of course they don't - they can't get through :)

Hell desk thought PC fire report was a first-day-on-the-job prank

Unoriginal Handle

One chap in my office used to come back after lunch and play a golf game on his MS-DOS (that's how far back it was) computer.

As it was launched from the command line I renamed GOLF.EXE to something silly, and made a "GOLF.BAT" which 1) displayed a message saying company policy precluded playing of games, 2) displayed a message saying the hard disk would be wiped, 3) ran "CHKDSK /F" silently, to make the hard disk sound like it was working really hard.

Cue the amusement when he came back from lunch, sat down, and inside about 15 seconds swore loudly and turned the computer off at the mains. He was the sort of individual who didn't react positively to having the piss taken.


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