Posts by Paul Charters

Marketing body condemns 'draconian' Olympic law

If you're a credit card company...

Would that mean it is now illegal to put up a poster that says 'If you live in London, try our Gold card for fixed interest until 2012'?

I'd like to see the courts fight that one out...

Copyright lawyers accuse 25,000 UK videogame filesharers

How about...

How about we all just start boycotting games from any company that hires a firm like Lyons Extortionists (or whatever they're called)...

Too much money? Bling your iPhone with the $1000 app

If I had...

If I had the money to waste on buying a silly little graphic for my mobile phone, what in the name of all existence would possibly make you believe I would even be USING an iPhone?

I'm just wondering when this mediocre, slow-acting 'phone' will be recognised as the pretty but poor device it really is.

UK ISPs agree to menace their filesharing users

All I read was....

...6 ISPs have been coerced into agreeing to lose alot of their customers.

What bothers me most is the implication that because I have downloaded a song, I am assumed to be a pirate. The fact that I bought the CD albums with these songs on a decade ago and the CDs have degenerated into a non-working coffee mat (and not from scratching either) says to me that they sold me a product with the deliberate intent for me to have to pay for it again later.

It's official: Samsung shows off i8510 8mp cameraphone

Just a point...

It's not MISSING a touch screen...it just doesn't HAVE a touch screen.

Not all of us want annoying scratchable smudge-covered slow-to-respond touch screens.

My curiosity is more as to whether Samsung have FINALLY decided to let you set your own sounds on incoming SMS/MMS messages, and eliminated those over-touchy little touch-pad buttons.

Whatever happened to solid construction with real buttons and a nice clicky feel, and rapid phone response time.

/end rant

Government kids website pays £6 for every visitor

Slightly dangerous to say...

'Get yourselves over to the Playspace consultation tool site here and pretend to be an 11 year old to get their figures up.'

Isn't that just asking for trouble in today's paranoid society?

At least the hardware could be re-used again for something else, so I doubt the final cost will come out as £6 per visitor - still, knowing our government, it probably will...

Available to buy: your own frakkin' 7ft Cylon

Stately Homes and Mansions...

Imagine swapping out all those suits of armour for these guys....THAT'D be cool!

Gamers love in-game ads, ad industry-sponsored survey reveals

They're about to push a lot of people away...

The marketing companies weren't going to let any other results come out except those that said that us gamers want to see their adverts.

Frankly, there are 3 things that bother me:

1. Why the HELL should I pay someone for a product so they can advertise to me? I've already seen games like City of Heroes admit they're putting adverts into their game AND if you turn off the adverts you won't be entitled to player-generated content....DESPITE PAYING A MONTHLY FEE!

2. Adverts are insidious. Don't be fooled. Marketers known that an individual advert doesn't do all that much to a viewer. However, the repetition of the advert over and over DOES penetrate your subconscious. Games may even become a less-regulated arena than places like television where advert numbers and the use of flash-frames are limited, or altogether banned.

3. Bandwidth and service interruption - am I going to have to have adverts streamed to me whilst trying to play against other people in games that involve fast reaction times...just to suddenly have a lag-pause every time I sweep past a billboard?

Ofcom asks ISPs nicely to stop mis-selling broadband on speed

So, in other words....

....Ofcom have done nothing useful, and ISPs will do whatever they want to make money from gullible customers....

....or in other words....

....Today, nothing changed.

Most 'malfunctioning' gadgets work just fine, report claims

What about blatantly misleading advertising?

Although I agree that often the consumer is lazy and/or inept, I can't always blame the consumer if they believe the product does other than it specifically states. Advertising these days gets away with much much more than it should...

Cars: Car is from £7777 - in small text at the bottom shown for a second are the words 'model shown is ultra version costing £16000+'

Broadband: UP TO 16Mb....whoo! So if I get 4Mb I'm still within the advertising.

ipod: 'Listen to your favorite music. ' - well, my favourite music is all in wma format...

The fact is that marketing departments get away with absolute murder, and sales people don't care one whit about the customers - just their sales figures...and then shops are surprised when customers feel misled and return products.

So many shops mislead their customers because they know that the consumer is often too lazy to bother to return the product.

Bill Gates unveils interactive wallpaper

I'm curious...

If it's essentially just a whiteboard then where is the image coming from?

The user there isn't casting a shadow, so what are the specs on the screen resolution-wise, etc?

There seems to be far too much defeatist commentary and not enough fact in this article...

Phones 4u accused of misleading customers

Actually...

Despite the attitude of so many arrogant so-and-so's on here, it is very true that Phones4U are deliberately misleading. Their sales people will do everything they can to avoid telling you of commitments, hidden costs, extras, etc.

Their sales people are extremely pushy, outright liars and extremely poor technically. They answer questions with incorrect answers, just to look as if they know what they're talking about (although I admit I do like the look on their faces when I completely bamboozle them) and they are perfectly willing to lie about your statutory rights on returning a phone.

Why they aren't brought up on criminal charges I have no idea. Poor legal system I guess...

Dubya archives White House email by hand

Erm...

Why is anyone surprised? If you DON'T have a communications system in government that doesn't have huge gaping holes in it, how can you conveniently lose or manipulate data and conversations?

Imagine if everything WAS stored properly...people would have to tell the truth and admit things!

Lesbians turn on lesbians in battle of Lesbos

@moz

Well...no...it makes it another organisation that discriminates against straight people...

Spyware targets frustrated GTA IV gamers

Errr...

'Unprecedented levels of spam'?!? My *rse...

Every time I turn around it's 'GTA IV is the be-all of the world and anything to do with it is 'unprecedented' and 'never before seen''. I've read 6 reviews of the game and only one actually had even the most basic (and it was exceedingly basic) information on what the game is actually about...and no...I don't mean 'running around stealing cars and driving over people', I mean 'What is the story about?'.

Men could have kids with chimpanzees - gov must act

What a fruitbat....

No really. This guy must be intellectually challenged in the worst way...

He probably even believes that Jesus was a californian-looking white guy who walked around all day with bright blue eyes and a tragically forgiving expression...

Web 2.0 bloat trebles web's waistline

@Anonymous Coward

I'm sick of advertising. I don't look at it, I don't read it, it has no relevance to me - even if it was Phormified it STILL wouldn't have any relevance to me. As I only buy from people when I go out and seek them for a product, it is relevant when they try to slap me across the eyeballs with their cr*p.

It's time we worked on the World Adfree Web...

What makes me laugh....

...is that people are STILL designing web sites based around the concept that 'flasher is better'.....there are still loads of game and movie sites that you have to sit there and watch loading before you actually get any information....and because of the way Flash works you STILL can't use the back button to go to the information you were just reading - you have to make your way through pathetically-designed and poorly thought-out flash menus which take 10-times longer to use than a simple image. (The Force Unleashed website is a perfect example).

And why-oh-why does EVERY d*mn web page I come across nowadays ask me if I want to fill in a f*cking survey? I don't. I don't want to do your job for you, and when I want to give you my opinion I'll give it to you....like right now!

Skype comes to mobile (almost)

Skype...bah...

I still can't see the fascination people have with Skype. Unless you're really desperate to make calls abroad using really shoddy software then leave it alone...

I tried a Skype-compatible piece of software on my mobile phone and it was awful. Skype has heavily delayed speech, awful (and echoey) sound quality and is as reliable as my ex-girlfriend.

Microsoft rolls out Live Mesh preview

It's a shame...

If anything like this product had come out 15 years ago I would've had alot more interest.

As it is...I can only see it as a likely source of pushing on us even more advertising, requests for survey responses, and a load of hidden behavioural monitoring, memory sucking, useless applets.

I buy Windows because I want an OS I can do things with, including play games (sorry, Mac-lovers - your OS just doesn't have the support), and I sincerely REALLY hope that updates and the ability to communicate with others will not require signing up to a service that is pounding advertising across my desktop...

In-flight calling given lukewarm reception

I just wish...

....that airlines would realise that they'd do better by just having some sort of network on board their planes. Ideally wired, as it's more reliable.

People are just aching for something to do on these planes, especially kids - why not just have a small server running some of the most popular game server software?

It would increase game sales, as well as handheld device sales. I would seriously consider a PSP (well, not a current one, but maybe next generation) if I knew I could just plug into the plane's network and play an FPS against even 7 other people on board, or even just 1 other person and 6 bots...

The first crummy ringtone I hear on a plane when I'm trying to either watch a movie, play, read, or sleep QUIETLY is the last crummy ringtone I'll hear for a while, because I'll probably end up in prison for snatching it away and returning it to the owner rectally.

Nokia admits DVB-H still not taking off

Who the heck wants TV on your mobile?

No seriously - why would you want to sit there watching a tiny little screen of a battery-chewing technology of a load of poor programmes?

In the UK people are steadily turning off completely from terrestrial services because the programming is so poor, and it won't be too long until they start turning off from satellite and cable - after all, there are only so many times you can watch every Simpsons episode before you can't stomach their voices any longer...

I mean....come on....are you REALLY all that desperate to get a report on whatever pre-manufactured little girl is wailing out another piece of manufactured audio files? Maybe if you stopped staring at your dumb-device and either read a book to learn something or maybe, just maybe, smile at someone and ask them how their day was, your life might have some meaning.

Wow....I got carried away....

CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics

It's odd...

....but this isn't so much an April Fool as a scarily likely story...and a wonderfully satirical view of the widespread abuse of the world wide web that has come into play nowadays...

Love it...

Teacher's head explodes due to Wi-Fi, mobe radiation

April Fools...

There really seems to be a heavy push on the April Fools stories this year...

I have to admit I was a little downhearted when I realised that I didn't believe the story because El Reg didn't put the word 'freetard' in it.

Portsmouth student peeled in potato laptop scam

Serves him right, really...

I mean...seriously....what kind of fruitbat buys a laptop from a back of a car?

Anyone who talks to you in the street to sell you something is going to rip you off...it's that simple!

US, UK and friends have cyber-war party

Perhaps a little extreme...

...after all, in the UK all someone needs to do to get hold of data is to put it into the hands of a government employee.

eBay gets negative feedback about ban on negative feedback

Good and bad...

Seems to me that making people who trade alot register properly is a good idea. A bit of safety for the consumer should be something that traders are in favour of - after all, someone who is comfortable and feels secure is more likely to buy stuff. I don't see why the addresses need to be advertised from the start, but it should be automatically shown to a customer upon sending payment.

The ratings thing seems a bit daft - you just set it so both sides of the transaction leave feedback and neither is live until they are both published. You then don't let a response be sent - it's feedback, not a forum.

Not being able to leave negative feedback just smacks of overdoing it, like employment references legally being forced to not allow anything bad to be said....

Turning a Nokia phone into a hotspot

Just be very careful...

'Unlimited' data plans aren't unlimited - be very careful that you're not getting yourself into a heap of debt.

Why service providers are even allowed to say call them unlimited is another argument....*growls*

Microsoft! bids! $44.6bn! for! Yahoo!

Oh Noes...

'....someone is monopolising the market and it's not us!' - MS

Strangely enough I think it would be a downgrade of Microsoft for it to buy Yahoo!

Michael Bay to relive A Nightmare on Elm Street

A nightmare...

A nightmare will be when one of two things happens:

1. It's all special effects - which is just pointless considering these films were about terror.

2. Freddy Kreuger will be turned into a more 'modern man', ala Apollo from Battlestar Galactica - once a character who had character and actually was a type of person he'll become a whiny little twerp with daddy issues.

Dallas man accidentally shoots self in head

What do you call....

...an American with PHDs in maths & physics?

Stupid American!

Microsoft demos Surface multi-touch user interface

This is not new, nor is it an iPhone ripoff

Erm, the Surface interface has been around for ages now. Why is this even mentioned in the same breath as the iPhone?

Buffy mastermind returns with new TV series

Shame about Dushku

It's a shame that Whedon is pushing for Eliza Dushku. As pretty as she is she just isn't interesting on screen. The reason she was loved in Buffy was because she was the hot uninhibited fantasy brunette to Buffy's inhibited always-crying blonde.

Her voice is dull and dismal and always sounds like it's an effort for her to be bothered to talk.

Firefly was an excellent, fun, well-thought out show. Buffy was good until the last episode, Angel was finally getting somewhere when it fell apart...

Poor Whedon appears to be hitching himself up with the past rather than finding new talent and pushing towards the future, which is something he originally quite good at.

Prince's anti-YouTube crusade halted by American mommy

It's publicity...

The brain cell formerly known as symbol is just looking for attention. Any exposure is good exposure as far as he's concerned.

TV-Links man: 'I'm no master criminal'

Oh come on!

As much as it isn't technically illegal to link to copyrighted material, face the reality that if you are providing the public with a direct link to the data you are complicit in the spread of copyrighted material.

I'm no fan of some copyright laws and the allowances given to distributors for limiting use of a product you buy such as a DVD or CD, and I believe all advertising of alternate products on such DVDs should be banned. However, I'm intelligent enough to recognise that if I'm searching out illegal material, and my very living is that of a technical engineer, I wouldn't really have much of a defence.

In this case, technically thanks to the LETTER of the law rather than the SPIRIT of the law, he will probably get away with it - but it will be used as a rallying cry by the industry to tighten up the laws and punishments.

Of course, once the laws are tightened up there is more of a chance that the authorities will go after companies like youtube and google. They'd need a very very solid case to go after companies that can hire lawyers en masse. The Chewbacca Defence (South Park reference) has saved murderers before, if the law isn't stricter then the authorities will not waste their money defeating it.

Safe drinking guidelines 'plucked out of the air'

So did they get their money back?

So did anyone have to pay for falsifying recommendations and deliberately misleading the public? Where are the arrests, the punishment...or at least getting the money back that they were paid?!

Halo 3 UK launch fails to fire

It's a game!

Halo 3 is just a game at the end of the day. It'll be available at the end of the working/school day and people can go buy it then.

They could also be waiting until after payday, which is traditionally the last Friday of the month, before picking it up.

The 'midnight launch' push that so many companies try to do in the UK are just pointless. Now that everyone in the UK has realised that they won't be one of the first to play and that the US gets EVERYTHING earlier, and that full reviews, spoilers and walkthroughs will be available before the UK shops even get hold of the game (Bioshock, anyone?) there isn't a big rush to be one of the first any more.

It's like TV series - they wonder why so many people download TV programmes illegally...it's because there is no valid reason for the release dates in the UK to be the same as the US.

Jobs hits London to announce O2 iPhone deal

Poor phone on a poor network

I would have thought the iPhone has had it's chance and failed miserably.

It's a perfect marriage anyway - the most outdated, biggest rip-off, slow technology network with an outdated, biggest-rip-off, slow technology mobile phone.

I really wouldn't want to have shares in O2....it doesn't seem to have a long lifespan ahead..

Kung fu monks battle Colombian karate assassins

Meh

Blue Steel is so far beyond any of those listed he's in a league of his own.

Of course, Chuck Norris gets the vote because he's a WoW-ites staple.

Boffins develop Terminator-vision goggles

Could we have sound as well?

I think I'd REALLY want the sound effects of the shifts between Predator vision types and a switch.

MS lawyers take out AutoPatcher

For those who want centrally updated systems...

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/wsus/default.aspx

Microsoft has the Windows Server Update Services (just Google that phrase) for centralised management. I set it up on two networks in the last three days and it's running like a charm.

Tycoon abandons £80k Maserati in London car pound

Erm...

I couldn't care less if he's a billionaire, would any normal person not get arrested for daring to rack up so many congestion charges and ignoring them?

Is it such that the law can be ignored if you can afford to flout it, or shouldn't he be banged up for deliberate contempt for the law of the country.

If I'm too 'busy' to get around to paying my council tax because I'm opening a new company, does that get me off the hook then? I'll pay it in 90 years time...honest!

Researcher crosses swords with Google over XSS 'flaw'

Google...

So since when did Google ever care about their users' security and privacy? Of COURSE it's working as intended! They or someone they like is going to make MONEY out of it, regardless of what damage it does to the users.

Patch Tuesday update triggered Skype outage

Boo Hoo

Well, Skype should have written their software, which runs on the Windows operating system, to NOT connect automatically.

Or perhaps they should have created more stable server software that had a first-line login server that would only process so many logins and defer other logins for a short while.

No sympathy for Skype here, I'm afraid.

Peterborough bloke warned over 'offensive' t-shirt

Water!

I, for one, find dry white t-shirts on women to be offensive! I therefore demand that they either be removed or soaked immediately!

Well....anyone who finds something offensive these days seems to get what they want..