Posts by Korev

Sysadmin infected bank with 'alien virus' that sucked CPUs dry

Re: NIce one!

> Alf looking for aliens!

Did he think about checking behind the SETI?

Re: Missing snippet?

I was thinking the same.

El Reg of old is not the same as what we have today though :(

This can’t be a real bomb threat: You've called a modem, not a phone

Re: Work bomb scare

Yeah, or else there would have been too much coffin....

Re: Work bomb scare

I see what you dead there...

Re: Work bomb scare

Sorry, that joke was grave...

Re: Work bomb scare

> At the time, the only suitably-distant spot they could find near our city-centre office was a cemetery,

"Suitably-distant"? Odd because it's the dead centre of town...

Surely you can't be serious: Airbus close to landing fully automated passenger jets

Re: Did you really need to ask that?

> I think humans pilots incapacitated and computer taking over falls into "Mayday" territory!

And what about the other 364 days of the year?

BOFH: It's 4ft tall, heavyset, has optional fax. No they didn't take the toner!

Re: Timing is everything

It depends on what toner voice was used...

Heata offers free hot water by mounting servers on people's water tanks

Summer?

Will the server's load be scaled down in the summer when people don't use as much hot water?

Fujitsu has a yen for 'large-scale' acquisitions and billions of yen to fund them

Improving capabilities in emerging fields such as quantum computing software or blockchain technology.

Well, it shouldn't cost too much to buy some Blockchain startups these days...

Native Americans urge Apache Software Foundation to ditch name

Re: NME

> If "Apache" is a Zuni word meaning "enemy" why not call it the NME web server?

nme.com is <a href="https://sitereport.netcraft.com/?url=http://www.nme.com>behind CloudFront</a> so we can't see what they actually run

Move over, graphene. There's a new super-material in town: Graphullerene

Re: A little accuracy would be nice

UMIST it then....

Forget the climate: Steep prices the biggest reason EV sales aren't higher

Re: "a strong desire to reduce refueling costs"

> Around here? I could see bolt cutters coming out and the cable being taken for the copper...

Or if the cable is live then the copper will take the corpse away?

I live in a flat in Switzerland, there are a few car parking spaces on my street with zero charging points. I can't think of any streets with these points elsewhere in the City; why would anyone buy a car they can't charge easily?

Cleaner ignored 'do not use tap' sign, destroyed phone systems ... and the entire building

Re: Water and IT

There were also some of a "thermal event" from a Sun server from the same period. I remember seeing the pictures and thinking what a good job the email team had done to keep everything up and for no one to notice (the ultimate complement for a service!).

Re: Concrete dust = Kryptonite

There was a fire where I used to work and as the building was well-designed the flames only affected one room and pretty much burnt itself out before the fire brigade. The smoke; however, got to other rooms in the building and the computers inhaled whatever nastiness was floating around. For some reason they decided to have the laptops cleaned instead of just replacing them. Pretty much all of the affected computers' discs died a month or so later.

Re: Water and IT

The UK Academic network, JANET's POP in the east of England was in a room in Cambridge beneath a roof garden which had the inevitable consequences... The way around this was to build an internal shed in the machine room! Sadly the photos seem to have vanished from the Internet :-(

AMD follows Intel's lead with alphanumeric soup of new Ryzens

> Google the chip name and click on the resulting notebookcheck.net link. Easy enough.

For the typical El Reg reader yes, but for non-technical people it'd be much harder

> I challenge anyone who doesn't have to work with it daily to figure out what in god's name a particular Xeon is.

It's a Nobel gas isn't it?

The CES tat bazaar: Bike desks, AI-powered bird feeders, and the smelloverse

Re: the world's most expensive bird feeder

Yeah, Elon's Robin the company of its value

The Guardian ransomware attack hits week two as staff told to work from home

A Virtual Pint for the Guardian's techies who probably need several after what must be a hellish time

Re: Anyone notice?

Good point, it'd be really good to see what they did so we can all learn from it.

Techies try to bypass damaged UPS, send 380V into air traffic system

If we're talking about Vaxen, then the chances are that The Village didn't exist at that point.

Greybeard -->

Re: What The People are Saying

> “Maybe now they will consider moving to cloud.evil. Isn’t that right Mr. Bigglesworth?” Dr. Evil, Cloud CTO

Well on-prem had too much Austin Powers going to it

Computing's big question for 2023: How many more questions can we endure?

Re: Yep, American LOOOOOVE Officiousness

> I have another question, why to people alway post youtube links rather than youtube-nocookie links

I'm as geeky as they come and just had to duck duck go the above... I guess that answers your question a bit!

Miniature nuclear reactors could be the answer to sustainable datacenter growth

Re: What waste

throw some lime on it (that's what I learned in boy scouts back in the day), like you do when digging a latrine

So you'll get Limescale and not Windscale - clever...

University students recruit AI to write essays for them. Now what?

Re: In my experience

When I was at uni, there were companies offering to buy essays with marks over a 2:1 for about the cost of a pint

Re: Only as good as the AI?

It'd explain the awful spelling that now plagues this once fine organ...

So we'd need to refer to the heroin the piece...

The era of cloud colonialism has begun

Re: That reminds me

Can I sneak a Surbiton Slide to Euston?

License to launch: UK space regulator gives Virgin Orbit satellites the go-ahead

>Then Jamie Oliver located his frikking '15' restaurant on top of the beach bar, and the place got gentrified.

You could always see if you can get the USAF to bring back the nukes to RAF St Mawgan, that'd put that annoying Mockney off...

Elon Musk to step down as Twitter CEO: Help us pick his replacement

Re: The obvious choice

> I nominate a McDonalds cheeseburger.

Wouldn't Burger King be better as telling Big Whoppers is part of the job...

Re: Clean Up In Aisle 3!

A great article (survey?), sometimes, El Reg of old rears its head

Eurozone plans to formalize passenger data, improve security

Re: No wonder the Brits left the EU, since they obviously don't understand it.

Those days are gone sadly. Have you noticed how dull it's become these days?

Re: Border, what border?

> I have never been asked to prove who I was in any Schengen country outside of check-in/boarding (of course possibly helped by being a white male!)

The only time I've ever been asked for ID was in the middle of the pandemic when we (three middle-aged white guys) got stopped by the Swiss Army and border guards about half a KM in (we'd made a point of staying on the right side of the border). They were unamused that I didn't have proper ID on me, but after a brown guy in an expensive car turned up he decided that my "Halbtax" railway card was actually OK and then got onto be racist...

So, will the API have an API?

In praise of MIDI, tech's hidden gift to humanity

Re: Foresight is a wonderful thing

> Lot of old keyboards out there companies are too cheap to upgrade.

Which are probably a bit nicer than the more "modern" ones that rattle and flex with every keystroke...

Re: Nice to have.

I'm not saying YOU (whoever you are) didn't use YOUR Amiga to do interesting things, but I think fewer Amiga owners generally did.

I can't see how you could describe Cannon Fodder as not interesting!

War has never been so much fun

OpenAI predicts biz can break a billion in revs by 2024

Re: I predict that I will also make billions in 2023

I've got pictures of some apes I can send you, NFTs are the future right?

Carmack quits Meta, brands it inefficient and unprepared for competition

He wrote that some of those issues were self-inflicted. "I could have moved to Menlo Park after the Oculus acquisition and tried to wage battles with generations of leadership, but I was busy programming, and I assumed I would hate it, be bad at it, and probably lose anyway."

So you're saying there's an Occulus Rift with management?

When we asked how you crashed the system we wanted an explanation not a demonstration

Re: Whoops - lets do it again and watch this time.

> There was a H&S review

It's good they weren't pointing the finger...

Re: ... half a brain

That's a Novell approach to catching an error...

I like the idea of a user bin. We could even call it /usr/bin

XaaS is taking over the datacenter and IDC says you asked for it

Back when it was good, The Register published a wonderful "As A Service" poster. I can't find it, but if someone has it then please link to it.

IBM to create 24-core Power chip so customers can exploit Oracle database license

Re: Licence changes faster than HW dev time

Unless IBM are just doing what chip vendors already do and sell chips with the faulty cores disabled. In this case 3 24 is the magic number

Don't expect another SAP support deadline extension, user group warns

"We're still seeing a skills shortage in the marketplace and there is a big push by partners on their recruitment and training, but also in end user space, there's a shortage of skills. There are some demographic issues hitting some organisations: in industry where people who were at the forefront of SAP in the 90s are now starting to retire," Cooper said.

You could flip the statement the other way around and ask why someone in their 20s would want to learn SAP.

UK arrests five for selling 'dodgy' point of sale software

Re: Been going on since forever

He couldn't be bother to weight around?

Re: Been going on since forever

I go to a market every week for my milk, fruit and veg etc. Once an inspector turned up and tested all the stalls' scales. He got to the fruit vendor, saw they use a balance and weights, laughed and wandered off...

Microsoft to buy 4% of London Stock Exchange in 10-year platform deal

If MS own a chunk of the Exchange, will it now be called SharePoint?

Server installer fails to spot STOP button – because he wasn't an archaeologist

Re: Hearing a 'click'

My 6th form college had a sports hall built and the climbing wall had a fire exit in the middle with a fire alarm next to it. All the pupils were sensible and managed to not use it as a foothold; however, one of the teachers did stick her foot in it (figuratively and literally)

Oddly enough they put a cage around it not long afterwards