Posts by Korev

C'mon SPARCky, it's just an admin utility update. What could possibly go wrong?

I'm rooting for you

They'd be the favoured Sun...

It's On Call, looks like it's time for someone to SPARC some bad puns...

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

Re: Is a punch in the scrum-

Fair Cop Guvnor

You'll never select all and mark as read again after this tale of peril... Oh, who are we kidding? Of course you will

Re: User problem: needed to be escalated.

>Happy friday, I'm just here for the bad puns.

A cold hard stair from me until you stop...

Re: In somewhat the same vein ...

>Funny how video of a horse in a basement can light a fire under otherwise disinterested management

Did they have horse voices once they'd finished shouting at you?

Re: NMR wiping.

As in Hydrabad Computing Limited?

Cache me if you can: HDD PC sales collapse in Europe as shoppers say yes siree to SSD

Re: 'Primary storage'

The cheap SSDs will still run rings around the typical 5.4k (or even 7.2k) disc in many laptops.

Deutsche Bank calls in AWS, Microsoft and Google to tout for cloud biz: Come in to tender, deal value unknown

Deutsche Bank, according to Reuters – which initially revealed the talks with the three cloud vendors – is struggling with a sprawling, outdated tech infrastructure, not helped by the buys of Morgan Grenfell and Bankers' Trust in 1990 and 1999 respectively.

Wow, the bank has still has systems from mergers that were 20-30 years ago! I assume they've been updated a bit in that time but that does seem incredible.

Parks and recreation escalate efforts to take back control of field terrorised by thug geese

Re: Where I live it's ill tempered ducks.

The little duckers!

Yaaaaaaarp...

Astroboffins agog after spotting the first repeating fast radio burst that pings every 16 days from another galaxy

And the response

And the response from Earth:

Our call centres are experiencing usual demand at the moment, your call is very important to us and will be answered as soon as possible

Ever had a script you just can't scratch? Excel on the web now has just the thing

Re: As always, the big problem with Excel...

You could also be describing R Shiny applications which now seem to be spreading around our organisation virally...

These people are just annoying show offs, they need a punch card in the mouth

Voyager 2 gets back to sciencing while 'unstoppable' Iran promises world more 'Great Iranian Satellites'

Re: "Far be it from us to nitpick"

I thought it was being ignored by Apple

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

Re: "And given that the Y2K thing was a big fat zero,"

It was mad, they were barking

Fed-up air safety bods ban A350 pilots from enjoying cockpit coffees

Just wondering if it only affect European aircraft or if Americano ones are affected too

Boeing too?

I was wondering if the same problem affects Boeing aircraft, then I remembered that the Jumbo pilots would just drink with their trunks

We should filter them out ASAP

Wake me up before you go Go: Devs say they'll learn Google-backed lang next. Plus: Perl pays best, Java still in demand

Re: There are C++ devs and there are people who claim to be able to program in C++.

It's the Dunning-Kruger effect

Re: There are C++ devs and there are people who claim to be able to program in C++.

Well, you posted as AC so you must have realised ;-)

Facebook mulls tagging pics with 'radioactive' markers to trace the origin of photos used to build image-recog AI

Re: steganography

I'd find it even funnier if someone sued Facebook after someone "borrowed" a picture breaking a photographer's copyright and FB wouldn't take it down...

Re: My first thought on reading 'radioactive markers'

>was 'half-life'... as if this were a marker which would decay with time.

Half Life 1 & 2 are both cracking games that haven't decayed much with time.

Half Life 3 would be nice though :)

EU tells UK: Cut the BS, sign here, and you can have access to Galileo sat's secure service

Re: Money

You could call it the Empire Positioning System. Its clocks will send out time data set in the XIX century...

Bring back the East India Company!

Bada Bing, bada bork: Windows 10 is not happy, and Microsoft's search engine has something to do with it

Duckduckgo is pretty good and claims to respect privacy.

2020 2021 is the year of Windows on the Desktop

Outlook more like 'look out!' as Microsoft email decides everything is spam today

Re: Nice naming, Microsoft

Elreg's Headline didn't help much either, although popping a .com on the end would have meant a less-good headline :-)

Things I learned from Y2K (pt 87): How to swap a mainframe for Microsoft Access

>Adding "on the internet" to a business plan does not guarantee unlimited returns, or indeed any returns at all.

AI does though...

Very little helps: Tesco flashes ancient Windows desktop on Scan-As-You-Shop device

Re: Trust?

Every so often at my local [Swiss] Coop you get asked to present a few items by one of the checkout assistants; the only problem is that one of them gets flustered and seems to press every random button on the screen which resets meaning you have scan the lot again...

Microsoft Teams starts February with a good, old-fashioned TITSUP*

Re: Do I get to cast the first stone?

I got my 10 metres swimming certificate in 1986, when do I need to apply for renewal?

At last, the fix no one asked for: Portable home directories merged into systemd

One use case is where a user has a PC running Linux in both their home and office, and is able to carry their home directory with them on a portable storage device.

This is banned in all but the smallest organisation these days. At my work your career would be "very short" if you got caught doing it....

Ah, night shift in the 1970s. Ciggies, hipflasks, ADVENT... and fault-prone disk drives the size of washing machines

"and dedicated people called 'operators' who would terrorise misbehaving users and managers according to 'The Bastard Bible'."

FTFY

Brits may still be struck by Lightning, but EU lawmakers vote for bloc-wide common charging rules

Re: Hopefully the UK will follow this

>I think the British Standards Institute should be called upon to come up with something for the UK.

What about El Reg's esteemed Standards Bureau?

So you locked your backups away for years, huh? Allow me to introduce my colleagues, Brute, Force and Ignorance

Pop music

You could even describe the story in terms of 90's pop music:

Stop. Hammer Time

Google says its latest chatbot is the most human-like ever – trained on our species' best works: 341GB of social media

Not hard

You just need some ideas:

"Did you see that ludicrous display last night"

"Thing about Arsenal is they always try walk it in"

UK energy watchdog to probe National Grid and Scottish Power over fault-plagued subsea cable

Ohm my god, the current sub deserves a pint -->

El Reg tries – and fails – to get its talons on a Brexit tea towel

>The product is, after all, "PROUDLY made in the UK" so we can't imagine that shipping it in would be a problem.

Like the Blue passports -->

Cache flow problems continue for Intel: Yet more data-leaking processor design blunders discovered, patches due soon

And if you're a customer of said datacentre (including small ones like AWS & Azure) then you might care a bit more. I guess the chances of a Malicious Actor being able to somehow target their VM onto the same host as yours is slim though.

Re: New trade deal

Customers have the Power to buy AMD or other CPUs

How do you like them Apples? Cook drops 'record' 30 times* on conf call as iPhone sales up, services up, wearables up

ElReg's pun bureau appears to have missed the "Stuck Record" puns - they could have used it to iPad out their story a bit more...

Like its Windows-noob-stabilisers OS, Zorin's cloudy Grid tool is Linux desktop management for dummies

Re: Why bother with the Windows look ?

Well, 2020 is also the year of Linux on the desktop...

'Trust no one' is good enough for the X Files but not for software devs: How do you use third-party libs and stay secure, experts mull on stage

Would it end up like the situation with medical software & lab instruments which have "Not for diagnostic purpose" written all over them so the vendor can avoid the hassle of getting them "Validated".

Electron devs bond at Covalence conference: We speak to those mastering the cross-platform tech behind Slack, Visual Studio Code, etc

Re: Try to make them think twice?

It makes me wonder if the conference was sponsored by RAM manufacturers...

Brit brainiacs say they've cracked non-volatile RAM that uses 100 times less power

Re: I'm still waiting...

Maybe someone could bubble sort that out for you

In deepest darkest Surrey, an on-prem SAP system running 17-year-old software is about to die....

Between 2012 and 2014, measures included migrating the system to the Surrey County Council data centre and bringing it under in-house operational control; creating a new procurement framework in conjunction with East Sussex County Council that was used by both Councils and resulted in annual cost saving of around 40 per cent for support and maintenance services, according to the council docs discussing the need for new support arrangements.

In 2015, the council contracted with an independent support provider which effectively "froze" the council into its version of the software, with limited options for maintenance, upgrades or patching.

So bringing the system back in-house saved loads of cash so they decided to outsource it again in a way that prevents an upgrade...

A big victory for management there -->

Take DOS, stir in some Netware, add a bit of Windows and... it's ALIIIIVE!

Re: apps ?

Or programmes in the more civilised parts of the planet :)

It's good to talk: Union says IBM failed to consult system support techies as Scottish Power contract nears end

Re: I'm confused

>The alternative is going to work each day, doing your job, knowing in six months time that it will end

Or spending a few months brushing up your skills etc for your CV, taking the redundancy cheque to pay off a bit of your mortgage before moving on?

Rugby legend Will Carling tells El Reg: Techie stats bods will love this year's Six Nations

Re: More blah blah blah

Luckily Rugby Union is a game that's played more or less continuously; American Football and Baseball have lots of pauses that need to be filled up with content.

Two billion years ago, snowball Earth was defrosted in huge asteroid crash – and it's been downhill ever since

Piecing together the evidence is important as it helps scientists understand how impact events like the one in Yarrabubba might have affected the atmosphere, oceans, and life on Earth, and what effect future strikes may have.

It's about time that humanity ought to have some kind of plan for when an astroid like this is heading towards earth; if we wait long enough it will certainly happen...

Maybe the only thing we have -->

Sorry to be blunt about this... Open AWS S3 storage bucket just made 30,000 potheads' privacy go up in smoke

Weed need to look at this breach carefully...