Posts by Antron Argaiv

Zero arrests, 2 correct matches, no criminals: London cops' facial recog tech slammed

Re: Surely though

.... a highly public embarrassment for Inspector Knacker.

But a sizeable end of year bonus for the CEO of the company that sold the kit to the Met.

(and, hopefully, the salesperson as well)

// "fixed in next release"

Airbus windscreen fell out at 32,000 feet

Re: Blown or sucked....

and, then, of course, there's Bernoulli, who converts blowing (at the correct angle) to sucking...

Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

heavily armoured French knights

pronounced, of course, "KU-niggits"

Engineer crashed mega-corp's electricity billing portal, was promoted

"I've never seen it do *that* before..."

also:

"Where are all the files?"

FCC sets a record breaking $120m fine for rude robocalls

Re: The telco's are just as much to blame

A VOIP call has to enter the PSTN at some point, in order to be connected to your mobile.

There are VOIP gateway companies making money off these robocallers. Time to hold them accountable for what they feed into the PSTN.

Re: "is why campaign calls (political speech) is exempt."

Difference between mobiles and landlines is that mobiles get a limited number of airtime minutes and the calls use those up, and so, cost the person called.

So the law prohibits robocalls to mobiles.

Which does f#ck all to stop them.

Zookeepers charged after Kodiak bear rides shotgun to Dairy Queen

Re: Typical, Tight-Ar-e Canadian Civil Servants

Canada’s Currency Act of 1985 limits to the number of coins you can use in a transaction. If it’s nickels, vendors can say no to any purchase over $5, while the loonie limit is $25;

...and here's the odd thing: the TOONIE LIMIT (Part I, Section 8(2)(a)) is, not $50, as you might expect, but $40. (both coins weigh the same)

So much for those sensible Canadians, eh?

http://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/C-52/page-1.html

Re: Sense of humor

Kinder Eggs not withstanding.

Funny you should mention those. My wife spotted some in a store here in the TRUMP(R) USofA just recently.

However, not the original Kinder Eggs. These have apparently been modified (two packages: one for the chocolate and one for the toy) to be safe for USA children.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/the-us-is-finally-lifting-its-ban-on-kinder-eggs-a3691696.html

Re: Sense of humor

We all know what geniuses most local law enforcement officers are!

Yes, but this was Canadian law enforcement, so at least they didn't shoot everyone involved,

US Congress finally emits all 3,000 Russian 'troll' Facebook ads. Let's take a look at some

Clinton lost because she is the most corrupt politician in American politics...

That's a pretty high bar you've set there, pardner!

She's up against some of the best, and I doubt she's even in their class. Let's look at the (recent) contenders:

- The inimitable William "Boss" Tweed

- Boston's own James Michael Curley

- Mayor Richard J. Daley

- Nixon (though probably more paranoid than corrupt)

- Spiro T Agnew (conspiracy, bribery and tax fraud)

- our current President (and his "fixer", sons, son-in-law and daughter)

Re: I fail to understand

The goal was not to get you to vote for Trump, the goal was to stir the pot, encourage class and race division, create a sense of injustice and oppression, and generally disrupt society and trust in our institutions.

I can't help, though, but think that "turnabout is fair play", given all the messing with foreign elections the US has done around the world since the Second World War. The chickens have come home to roost, and it's not much fun.

LESTER looks up, spins its wheels: The Register’s beer-butler can see ...

Re: Danger Will Robinson!

Amber?

She's here?

And LESTER's programmed to follow her when she flashes her "beacon"?

Put me down for one unit!

// I may have misunderstood...

Somewhere up(?) there...

...Lester is smiling.

Well done. Waiting for the next episode where a cattle prod is procured and tested :-)

Zombie Cambridge Analytica told 'death' can't save it from the law

I don't think they'll get anything.

They will if they manage to ID and then sweat the BOFH.

He'll soon realise on which side his bread is buttered and give up those server passwords right quickly.

Admin needed server fast, skipped factory config … then bricked it

The default position for those switches should always be "240"

A 240 device plugged into 120 won't work well, but it shouldn't explode.

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Pedant here:

...stable for his calvary's horses....

Calvary = the hill on which Christ was crucified

Cavalry = bunch of armed blokes on horses

Same number of letters, same letters, different order, different meaning.

Probably Microsoft spell correct. Check that you haven't got "evangelical (US)" mode selected?

Re: One of those sounds like a computer error

Here in the USofA, I once used an automated check-out machine at the home improvement store, gave it a $20 for a $17 purchase and received three $10 notes in change.

Being an honest kind of guy, I went over to the "watcher" and presented her with my receipt, the three $10 notes, a smile, and told her, "No."

I have never seen the staff at Lowe's move so quickly before, or after. Must have been a one time event.

They opened up the machine, handed me my $3, and I left, while they attempted to figure out how many people before me had neglected to inform them of the error.

Best Saturday morning fun I've had outside the bedroom in...forever.

My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Re: Bar-B-Que

I have a (ham) friend in the broadcast biz. His stories are always entertaining (and sometimes clench-inducing).

So...how *does* copperhead BBQ taste? (and what sauce dis you use?)

:-)

Prohibited from using extinguisher

At my current employer, but at a previous location, a select few employees were given "fire extinguisher training". The rest of us were told that under no circumstances, were we allowed to use the extinguishers, since we had not been properly trained. We should, instead, contact an authorised employee.

Words failed me. I'm an EE, we occasionally work with high power stuff, and had an extinguisher in the lab. Should the need arise, I told my boss, I would use the extinguisher, pull the alarm and deal with any administrative consequences at a later time. He, to his credit, agreed.

// Dear Sir/Madam: FIRE!

// appropriate icon at last

Re: I recall even my mum (a bit like Dilmom) telling me a fire story

...a cyanide gas story...

I'm curious as to what made the teacher in question think that this would ever be a good idea, as opposed to...say...CO2 or H2 gas? And, assuming he thought it over several times and decided it *would* be a good idea, why he would ever use anything more than a minute quantity of chemicals, since cyanide is colorless.

For the more adventurous:

http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/category/things-i-wont-work-with

Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain

@Andy Taylor

Simulators: my son was stationed with an attack helicopter (AH-64) squadron in Korea as an artillery fire control officer. They couldn't take him for a ride (both cockpits must be pilots) but they did let him try the simulator.

He crashed it so hard they had to reboot it :-)

(his only prior experience flying helicopters was radio control models...and he wasn't very good at that either)

Re: Supre Cruise

... the SR-71 Blackbird...

Two books: Sled Driver (by a pilot), which is horrendously expensive and hard to find [but...shhh...there's a pdf out there] and Skunk Works by Ben Rich (available in paperback).

Re: Lavatory!

...and helps to insure that the liquid goes where it's supposed to when the air (or sea) is rough!

Re: Pressure?

I've been to the Museum of Flight (Seattle) and seen their Concorde. Beautiful aircraft, doesn't really matter that it never paid. I do know someone who got a flight on it, and he told me it was worth the money.

Sure wish the cockpit was open, but I understand why it can't be.

I'd love to see a photo of Concorde with the Saarinen TWA terminal at Kennedy in the background. The two look like they were made to go together.

Also -- the PanAm plane in Kubrick's 2001 looks very Concorde-ish.

‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

To be fair politicians have been doing that for over a hundred years.

Creating problems, yes, certainly.

Fixing them? Hardly ever.

"Fixing" them by creating another (often worse) problem? Much more likely.

Sitting on their fat asses and debating how to rename something or declaring this week "Hard Working Politicians Week", while studiously avoiding addressing the real issues of the day? Standard Operating Procedure.

// hard to decide whether it should be the lawyers or the politicians first against the wall

Boss sent overpaid IT know-nothings home – until an ON switch proved elusive

Re: Loopy.

The university I went to would contract students to go and troubleshoot problems with other students' computers in the dorms.

I thought this story would involve a healthy female student in some way.

// leaving disappointed

Springwatch: Windows 10 spotters May have to wait a few more weeks

Windows 10: Where is your God now?

The tech you're reading these words on – you have two Dundee uni boffins to thank for that

Keep the Teletype.

It's unaffected by EMP* :-)

* so sorry about our President...

'Your computer has a virus' cold call con artists on the rise – Microsoft

Re: Re "putting the phone down is almost always the right thing to do."

I once kept a guy on the line for 10 minutes while following his directions on a Linux system.

When he wanted me to hit the Windows key, I told him I didn't have one. This was true...I have an IBM Model M keyboard on my system. He finally gave up and told me to call Microsoft.

I replied, "When I do, should I tell them I'm running Linux?"

His reaction was: "Sh...<click>"

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Teletypes and Moogs

I'm having some fun with the mechanical engineering intern at work. He's just finishing up his ME degree, and is working here for 6 months. Perfect ground in which to plant seeds of appreciation for obsolete technology.

I've introduced him to Teletypes (thanks to YouTube) and ancient analog synthesizers. To his credit, he's fascinated.

There may be hope.

// IBM plugboard wires in the pocket, thanks

...read Chanson de Roland in the original Anglo-Norman...

Well, I was supposed to, but I only got partway through the first page. Same with Beowulf. Must go back and give it another try.

I did read Hamlet all the way through on day. It made perfect sense. Next time I tried it...not so much. Apparently, I was "in the zone" for Shakespeareanan prose that day.

Re: DIME Bar?

...there's a scene in Caddyshack with a Butterfinger bar in the swimming pool...

Super Cali health inspectors: Tesla blood awoke us

OSHA

I don't think what color the boss likes or dislikes comes into the matter.

OSHA needs to step up their game a bit. Not meeting OSHA regs comes with some hefty penalties.(although usually only after someone dies or is seriously injured, does a real inspection occur)

Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

I thought it was four interlocked assholes?

However, thankfully they have started to mount at least one urinal lower, so those more "gifted" among us don't have to get the end wet.

Having ended America's broadband woes, the FCC now looks to space

NSA

Wants to make sure they can see all the traffic on the net. After all the work they went through installing those fiber taps in the secret rooms at AT&T, it would be unfortunate if traffic could be routed out of the US via satellite links on which they didn't have taps.

Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

Never mind the touchpad, its the damned eraser end between g and h that gets me.

First thing I disable to avoid having my cursor jump randomly arou d when I'm typing.

'Dear Mr F*ckingjoking': UK PM Theresa May's mass marketing missive misses mark

Re: Please Vote

You should vote though, even if it is for Trump.

First part of the sentence is true...you should definitely vote.

Second part: IF you're considering voting for Trump, stop, think, and do some research. He is not (at a minimum) a very nice person. He's also made our country the laughing stock of the world, because:

(a) He seems to be incapable of forming complete, coherent sentences

(b) He doesn't listen to any advice from people who have real knowledge

(c) I'm not a doc, but he seems to be "losing it", to put it charitably

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

Re: Acronym needed

LESTER.

Without a doubt.

All hail the return of the SPB. It's been too long.

// no fireworks icon?

Re: Before the electronics...

"Make a beer cannon and launch a slug of liquid beer right into the recipient's open mouth".

Saves on washing up (the pint glasses at least)

'Housemate from hell' catches 24 new charges after alleged nightmare cyberstalking spree

Re: On behalf of decent Massholes everywhere...

In happier news, the Sox crushed the Yankees 14-1 yesterday.

(Not going so well today, 4-1 Yankees bottom of the 1st)

German sauna drags punters to court over naked truth

...as opposed to the T&A's...

// all right, I'm going...

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

Crystals - I always say I'm not interested unless they're ground to operate at a particular frequency.

The ones they sell in the psychic shops are very pretty, though.

Whack 'em hard enough and they'll give you some energy.

7040 kHz crystal in the pocket

Re: Reminds me of a story I read about

Ham Radio antennas only work if they are installed in the dead of winter.

...no leaves, makes it easier to get the line over the tree branch...

(extra points if you can feel your fingers when tightening the connectors)

Re: Reminds me of a story I read about

Makes it easier for the NSA to eavesdrop on them :-)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar_Grove_Station

Re: 'Server depressed, needs Prozac'

How appropriate, what with the 50th anniversary of 2001, and all.

"I think you know, just as well as I do, what the problem is, Dave"

// no HAL9000 icon?

Re: A solution

A world of useful items for the EMF-challenged here:

https://www.lessemf.com/index.html

// apologies in advance for the wasted time

// no tinfoil hat icon?

Hold the phone: Mystery fake cell towers spotted slurping comms around Washington DC

Re: Left hand/right hand

Pretty sure they know *exactly* where those rogue cell site simulators are located. If they're transmitting, they can be DF'd. Perhaps there are other technical measures which can be taken to nullify them...when necessary.

2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

One of my favourite films.

And it only gets better with age:

- Howard Johnson's

- Pan Am

- The Bell System (classic logo & PicturePhone)

:-)

"I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

Donald Trump jumps on anti-tech bandwagon, gets everything wrong

Re: brain farts

See, here's the difference between Repubs' view of Obama, and Dems' view of Trump:

Reps: Illegitimate president; Kenyan Muslim! He's gonna take our guns! (and, by the way, he's BLACK!)

Dems: WTF? This guy's not smart enough to tie his own shoes. And he seems to have put the office of President up for sale to industry. (Oh, and all his friends seem to have Russian connections)

And, FWIW, I'm a Dem. I immediately accepted him as President. I wasn't happy, but was willing to be proven wrong. That hasn't happened. I wasn't in love with Hillary, but, JFC, she's able to put together a sentence. And she has foreign policy experience. But that's water under the bridge. We're stuck with him. At least, until he shoots off his own...whatever.