* Posts by DailyLlama

128 posts • joined 16 May 2016


Cool IT support drones never look at explosions: Time to resolution for misbehaving mouse? Three seconds


I'm sure we've all done this too

I've walked into rooms where there's been a problem with a printer, and without touching or saying anything, the printer has started working. I've seen other people do it too, so I know it's not just my electromagnetic field (although I often turn street lights off when I walk past them)...

From Brit telly presenter Eamonn Holmes to burning 5G towers in the Netherlands: Stupid week turns into stupid fortnight for radio standard


Simple solution

Classify these essential infrastructure attach as terrorism, just like they did when all those heroes were setting fire to the money generating speed cameras a few years back?

Stuck at home? Need something to keep busy with? Microsoft has 115 ideas – including an awful SMBv3 security hole to worry about


Re: It seems Flash, Reader, Acrobat, Creative Cloud, and the other offerings ...

Adobe Flash update released last night...

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?


Re: I can relate to this

When I started in IT, my manager asked me "Do you smoke yet?"

Astroboffins agog after spotting the first repeating fast radio burst that pings every 16 days from another galaxy


Re: Aliens? Or something more prosaic? We're hoping for aliens

It's ok, *I* got the Red Dwarf quote even if no-one else did.

There's something fishy going down in the computer lab


Please stop...

You're giving me a haddock!

Why is the printer spouting nonsense... and who on earth tried to wire this plug?


Re: Not on the wall socket

A guy I used to work with PAT tested a monitor for us, which caught fire during the test.

And passed it...

Microsoft's first build of Armium Edge now lurks in Canary channel – go have a play if you dare


Just updated a laptop to 1909....

It took about 5 minutes, including the downloads. Pretty short on content, I'd say (going from freshly imaged 1903).

Socket to the energy bill: 5-bed home with stupid number of power outlets leaves us asking... why?


Forget the risk of fire spreading through the holes in the wall

and lets just talk about the sheer number of holes in the wall. Surely that must be a risk to the structural integrity of the building...

BOFH: Judge us not by the size of our database, but the size of our augmented reality


It worries me...

That I clearly read too many of these, and I fear I am turning into the BofH...

Power to the users? Admins be warned: Microsoft set to introduce 'self-service purchase' in Office 365

Thumb Down


They won't be able to install the software without admin rights... right?

You know the deal: October 2019. Pwned by a spreadsheet. Patch your Microsoft stuff


Re: We spoke too soon

I'd love to not use it anymore, but too many sites still require it...


We spoke too soon

Just seen some updates for Adobe Flash Player; v released today.


No Adobe patches

Either everything is fine and doesn't need any more fixing, or they haven't finished writing the patches...

When the satellite network has literally gone glacial, it's vital you snow your enemy


Building to building WiFi

We had two buildings separated by a busy road, and instead of an expensive cable being laid, involving stopping traffic, digging up the road etc, someone decided to install two line of sight wireless devices.

Which was fine, until the car dealership next door had a delivery, and the triple decker car transporter parked in front of it...

BOFH: We must... have... beer! Only... cure... for... electromagnetic fields


Utter genius

I need say no more!

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch


Re: Windows 10 audio _never_ works properly

I think you need an exorcist rather than a support technician...

Electric vehicles won't help UK meet emissions targets: Time to get out and walk, warn MPs


Re: Alternatively,

But no thought for those of us who are allergic to horses...

Hot desk hell: Staff spend two weeks a year looking for seats in open-plan offices


Hotdesking is awful?

In other news, the Pope is Catholic...

Could you just pop into the network room and check- hello? The Away Team. They're... gone


Re: Ever teleported a team into peril or heard something go boom on a conference call?

*makes note never to accompany you on a field trip*

Sophos tells users to roll back Microsoft's Patch Tuesday run if they want PC to boot


Re: Not a Sophos client

For the majority, yes. For the pilot groups, no.

Come friendly bit barns and fall on Slough: Equinix opens £90m data centre in London rust belt


Re: Short-sighted IMHO

And it's colder oop north, so it won't cost as much to cool them!

Town admits 'a poor decision was made' after baseball field set on fire to 'dry' it more quickly


But that's fair enough, I mean, it was a spider...

They're BAAACK: Windows 10 nagware team loads trebuchet with annoying reminders to GTFO Windows 7


The free upgrade hasn't gone away...

If you install Windows 10 on a device that had an OEM licence, it will activate Windows 10 for you after a little while. If it doesn't, just run the activation troubleshooter.

Microsoft changes DHCP to 'Dammit! Hacked! Compromised! Pwned!' Big bunch of security fixes land for Windows


Re: Adobe Flash

Yep, there were updates for Flash player for all browsers too. I guess they just didn't contain anything exciting enough to be written about.

On the eve of Patch Tuesday, Microsoft confirms Windows 10 can automatically remove borked updates


Re: flight mode

Hibernate is terribly bad for SSDs; it shouldn't even be part of the OS anymore, imho.

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it


While working in Uxbridge, I was sent down to out office in Newton Abbot (Devon) to have a look at a server that wasn't working. So I got in my car, and set off at 8am. With traffic and roadworks, I arrived on site at just after 2pm. Walked up to the server, moved the connected mouse, and got no response on the monitor, so I restarted it. Everything was fine after that. So I got in my car and went home. I was in the office for precisely 10 minutes, and spent 10 hours driving.

Windows 10 1809 looks unlikely to overtake prior build before 19H1 lands


Re: My Own Voyage of the Damned

Nothing better?

There speaks someone who has clearly never used Windows 8...


Re: Apps...

Same here. We've done around 150 PCs since 1809 was properly released, and the Store is disabled by GPO. None of that Candy Crush nonsense on work computers please!

Not so smart after all: A techie's tale of toilet noise horror


Re: Computer sound is on in an open space ?

This a million times!


Mind bleach?

Try Mental Floss for better cleaning power!

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

Paris Hilton

Happened to me in reverse...

I was halfway through an anecdote about an old lady dropping a tenner on her way out of the supermarket (The guy behind her picked it up and started to walk off in a different direction, so *I* pushed him in the right direction and called her to say that this bloke had found her money that she dropped and wanted to return it), when I realised that one of the people in the group was the person who'd actually done it and I'd seen it happen... very embarrassing.

Paris, because well, it's embarrassing...

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that


We've all done it

I put someone on hold once to complain about them to my manager, and even though the LED on the hold button lit up, it did not mute my mic.

Forunately, I didn't call them names or anything, just complained about how slow and unhelpful they were, but she didn't say anything, and just emailed my manager after the conversation. We all got "retrained" after that. And I got a new phone :-)

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed



Can we get one of those red mugs?

Sysadmin's three-line 'annoyance-buster' busts painstakingly crafted, crucial policy


Behind a locked door...

with a sign saying "Beware of the leopard"?



Did it fix the original problem that Todd had?

FTC gets back to work: Now, where were we? Break up Facebook and fine it $2bn, you say?


Re: Three companies that need to be broken up...

Yeah, but really, who can be bothered to do that?

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong


The real clue it was a scam...

Was that Virgin Media customer support contacted him within a week of his complaint!

Montezuma's Revenge can finally be laid to rest as Uber AI researchers crack the classic game


Did you really sign your name at the bottom of a comment posted by "Anonymous Coward"?

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found


We all know that governments love a good knee-jerk response though, so that they're seen to be doing something "now", rather than waiting 6 months and having a measured, well thought out response that takes legal hobbyists into consideration...

It's December of 2018 and, to hell with it, just patch your stuff


Re: I wouldn’t mind, but....

I bet they don't vaccinate their kids either.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics


It's 2018

If people don't know how to use a computer by now, they shouldn't even be in the workplace.

We all fall together. Azure MFA takes a tumble for the second week running



WIsh I could upvote that more times!

Have a drink on me

Groundhog Day comes early as Intel Display Drivers give Windows 10 the silent treatment


Office 2010

Why is anyone still using Office 2010 anyway? It's not like it'll even connect to Exchange servers anymore...

UK rail lines blocked by unexpected Windows dialog box



I managed to uninstall Office 2010 silently. It's not that hard...

Premiere Pro bug ate my videos! Bloke sues Adobe after greedy 'clean cache' wipes files


Re: Man...

You win the internet today. Good effort!

Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch


Re: blow torch... pfft

I say we pull back to the ship and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work



I used to work in an environmental lab, and one of the computers stopped working one day. I couldn't get it to do anything, so I popped the case, and found that all the acid in the air (due to the specific testing they did in this particular lab area) had eaten a lot of the solder, and many of the components weren't attached to anything anymore...

We drastically increased ventilation and fume extraction after that...

Faxploit: Retro hacking of fax machines can spread malware


Re: Denial of Service

Looping the black paper so it used all their toner/ink/ribbon too :-)

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button


Not me...

But I've heard this story from three separate people at different times, so I believe it's true.

A man starts a job at a large crisp manufacturer in the UK. Let's call them Strollers. At the time (I don't know if they still do it, because of this) all new recruits in the head office were sent to one of the manufacturing sites to see how the products were made, and what their core business was about.

They're taken through the site induction, given security passes etc, then given a tour of the offices, where they meet and greet all the local staff, before suffering a morning full of the usual corporate nonsense and lectures. Then, just before lunch, they're told that they're visiting the plant.

So they get kitted out in the relevant PPE, and *stroll* into the building. As they go in the entrance, someone in a hi-vis waistcoat explains the safety procedures, and what happens if the fire alarm sounds.

Tired after a morning full of someone else talking, and no doubt looking forward to lunch, our hero gazes off into the distance and stops listening. Somewhere along the line, he hears the words "Press the red button". Looking to his left, he sees such a red button. Pointing to it, he asks "Like this one?"

"Yes" comes the reply.

He pushes the button. There's the slow inevitable sounds of EVERYTHING turning off. Fans stop whirring, conveyor belts stop moving, ovens stop baking etc...

Then there's uncomfortable silence.

"Why did you press that?"

"Because you told me to."

"I said, 'If there's an emergency, press the red button'"...

Yes, our hero shut down *Strollers* Crisps manufacturing plant for a couple of days, as once the machines are down, everything has to be drained, cleaned, and made ready to start up again.

*names changed to protect the guilty



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