* Posts by Richard

56 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Aug 2007


Phorm woos browsers with personalised web


To Kent, with love

Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.

Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.

You give me the horrors

too bad to be true

All of my tomorrow’s

are lousy coz of you.

You put the Shat in Shatter

Put the Pain in Spain

Your germs are splattered about

Your face is just a stain

You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.

Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You’re like a dose of scabies,

I’ve got you under my skin.

You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.

I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.

You’ve got this slippery quality,

it makes me think of phlegm,

and a dual personality

I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.

Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.

Like a death a birthday party,

you ruin all the fun.

Like a sucked and spat our smartie,

you’re no use to anyone.

Like the shadow of the guillotine

on a dead consumptive’s face.

Speaking as an outsider,

what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.

He recommended suicide...

before scratching your bad name off his list,

and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.

You’re heading for a breakdown,

better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.

Your attitudes are platitudes,

just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you

Was is some kind of bat

They can’t find a good word for you,

but I can...


John Cooper Clarke

Another 15,000 jobs to go at BT


@AC 9:16

Absolutely. BT have lost the plot. They exist purely for their own ends and have total disregard and contempt for the law, their customers and non-customers.

Solwise Piggy 6 multi-device powerline network adaptor


@AC 12:32

I was commenting on Tony Smith's remark "The sooner broadcasters get off the airwaves and on to t'internet"

Which is why I made the points that I did regarding peoples current reliance of HF to get news and information. Why would China build the Firedragon jamming system? They can control peoples freedom on-line, but it's far harder to stop them accessing HF broadcasts. They can't block all Broadcast systems with the Firedragon, but PLT can on a local scale.

I also get the impression that the CAA are concerned by PLT, as are the BBC. As to what level of concern; I really cannot comment.

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@Tony Smith

OK, let's get rid of HF broadcasting then...

So how are people in African villages going to listen to radio via "t'internet"? Surprisingly, most mud-hut's don't have BT broadband.

How are people in war-torn areas going to get information as to what is happening around them? How about net censorship and the exclusion of certain networks and information servces?

Great. Let's just leave everyone behind the great firewall of China to rot. WTF do you think that there are still huge blocking stations transmitting to wipe out broadcast stations from the West?

Moving closer to home, how about DRM, which promises to make Short Wave as easy to access as DAB? Is it more important for you to not get off your arse and construct a proper network?

If your TV picked me up, I bet you'd be knocking my door in a shot, bleating about your not being able to watch your pr0n. Seems like you see your needs as being more important than anyone elses.


@AC 17:42

Do me a favour and read my post where I talk about Essential Requirements. Products must not cause interference:

"Equipment shall be designed and manufactured, having regard to the state of the art, so as to

ensure that—

(a) the electromagnetic disturbance it generates does not exceed a level above which radio

and telecommunications equipment or other equipment cannot operate as intended..

Does not using Youtube to demonstrate empirical evidence of interference make sense? The results are perfectly repeatable and verifiable.

The reason why PLT causes problems is because the domestic mains wiring is unbalanced, which is why RF energy leaks from the cabling in abundance. PLT is an environmentally very dirty technology.

PLT may well work if the domestic mains is replaced with balanced cabling a-la wired ethernet or DSL, but it kind of might make it not cost effective.

Comtrend claimed conformance to EN55022 for their DH10-PF. I have evidence that these products do not comply with this specification. They fail by over 30dB and were tested in a UKAS accredited laboratory. That's what you call EPIC FAIL!

We also have test data for Advent and Netcity products. All failed EN55022 and were also tested in the same lab.

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@AC 15:30

Great idea!

Then who would have been first on call to set up communications during the Boxing Day Tsunami? Or arrange emergency comms on 9/11 when the emergency systems went off air as well as the cellular systems because the infrastructure kit was on top of the towers?

You might think that teh Interweb and your mobile give you the power to talk bollocks with anyone on the planet, but If shit happens and you are out of the game and in the land of the unconnected, crying into your router, we have the ability to set up worldwide emergency ad-hoc comms networks.

It's a very satisfying feeling to know that I can set up comms without relying on a large corporation to serve it to me and dictate it's use.


@Tony Smith

Hello Tony,

I worked with Bill Ray on a story regarding PLT products (see http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/01/15/bt_vision_interference/ ) earlier this year.

Whilst the HPA products are not as bad as UPA products, they still cause massive amounts of interference to Short Wave bands when they transfer data. I am a member of the UKQRM group (www.ukqrm.org) who are lobbying Ofcom, BERR and Trading Standards to enforce UK EMC law.

Recently a petition was started and was answered by number 10


Which states "As with all electrical and electronic products sold in the UK, Power Line Technology (PLT) equipment is required to meet the relevant regulations before it can be placed on the market. In particular, it must comply with the Electromagnetic Compatibility Regulations 2006 (the EMC Regulations) "

A key part of the EMC regs are the "Essential requirements" which state:

"Essential requirements

4.—(1) A reference to “essential requirements” in relation to equipment is a reference to the requirements set out in paragraph (2) and in the case of fixed installations shall include the requirements set out in regulation 5.

(2) Equipment shall be designed and manufactured, having regard to the state of the art, so as to

ensure that—

(a) the electromagnetic disturbance it generates does not exceed a level above which radio

and telecommunications equipment or other equipment cannot operate as intended; and

(b) it has a level of immunity to the electromagnetic disturbance to be expected in its intended use which allows it to operate without unacceptable degradation of its intended use.

Part III, General Requirements - Apparatus:

15.No person shall place on the market apparatus unless either the following requirements, or

the corresponding requirements of the EMC Directive as implemented under the law of another state in the Community, are met—

(a) the apparatus is compliant with the essential requirements;

16. No person shall put into service apparatus unless it complies with the essential requirements when properly installed, maintained and used for its intended purpose.

Regarding CE marking:

21.—(1) For the purposes of these Regulations, the CE marking shall be regarded as properly affixed in relation to apparatus if the requirements of this regulation are complied with.

(2) Where—

(a) the apparatus is compliant with the essential requirements


As you can see from the Youtube clip in Bills article, significant amounts of interference are being produced by PLT systems, and are not compliant with Essential Requirements.

I also have an HPA presentation which states "Safety, immunity and harmonics are correct but almost all PLC devices pass over the CISPR 22 class A, B limits so failed the test and we could not generate (directly) the DoC (Declaration of Conformity) needed for Europe"

We have test data for a three PLT products. The measurements were conducted in a UKAS accredited lab and I can provide.

Phorm boss blogs from a dark, dark place

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@Pete 16:14

Kents ringpiece? (:


Privacy Pirates?

Pirates take something which is not theirs. Surely Captain Kent and his Scurvy crew are the pirates here, as they want to help themselves to our data.

I wonder if he's part Samoan?


Virgin Media sticks with Phorm

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Stupidity. Pure stupidity..

Why the hell don't Virgin use their collective intelligence and distance themselves from Phorm? The EU taking action has been on national news, more people are becoming aware of Phorm and realsie they don't want it.

Does Berkett not think that a formal announcement that they aren't deploying Phorm may result in a significant amount of BT subscribers jumping ship?

Google nabs purse snatcher



Don't let Jackboot Jacqui know, we'll all be forced to use it!

Bacon sarnies cure hangovers: Official

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Mmmmm....Bacon :)

For me it has to be a Little Chef soft bap with bacon, egg and a big dollop of brown sauce. When the yolk breaks..MMmmm!!!!!! Can't do McD's, BK etc. Bacon and egg - food of the Gods :)

MPs battle to save great British pub


If the smoking ban is really health related..

Then why are vehicles which are powered by diesel engines still allowed in town and city centres, given the amount of pollutants and carcinogens produced?

Mr Sanctimonious anti-smoker is quite happy to pollute my lungs with the junk coming out the back of his oil burner, yet gets most indignant if he smells the slightest whiff of cigarette smoke.

@Sabine Niehlbradt -" I second the idea of having an extra tax on off licence booze, though. Especially if the money stays local. A lot of village centres could do with a little refurbishment" What a heart-warming sentiment, it's just a shame that it wouldn't happen. It would probably be used to pay the bonus or pension of a city banker or in a politicians pocket as expenses.

FYI - I'm not a smoker.

Moderatrix quits El Reg: Latest


@ Sarah

...And you call us 'orrible!!!!!!

Least you aren't leaving the Kindergarden without a nanny :)

Budvar beats Anheuser-Busch in latest Budweiser battle



I'm really sick of misrepresentation. The American stuff is rank, has no flavour and is like drinking pop.

What I want to see is legislation regarding place of origin. How can a beer brewed in a different country be called the same beer? Take Stella, "Belgium's Original Beer" emblazoned on the front and "Brewed in the UK" on the side. How does that work? The UK shite has a lower ABV content and tastes totally different to the original.

All marketing people should be hung.

Nokia to fire 1,700 staff

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@AC Pandering to shareholders

This is what really upsets me about the currrent situation. People are losing their jobs not because a company is trading at a loss, but they can maximise profits by jettsoning staff. Many of these people are going to find it very hard to find alternative employment in the current situation. Companies should have some duty of care towards their employees as well as shareholders.

It will be interesting to see which companies fail once we start to come out of recession because they have no R&D people and no next-generation products in the pipeline because the beancounters have only planned for the next two quarters.

Polish Spitfire shoots down BNP

IT Angle


In the UK, People go to work to keep long-term unemployed in a comfortable lifestyle. These people don't have to get up, only pop more kids out to increase the amount of Dole money they get. They call people who go to work "Stupid". Their homes are provided and maintained free of charge and they are given money. This money and support system is funded by taxpayers.

If you are a regular taxpayer and are made redundant, you fall under a different system - Jobseekers Allowance. If you and your wife have been working, have a nice home with a mortgage and one of you lose their job, then they are only entitled to £60 a week for 6 months. No matter how much you have contributed. If you don't have enough coming in to pay your bills and mortgage through redundancy, you can lose your home and trhere is no financial support in lieu of your contributions.

It kind of makes you think that those with no aspirations who are happy to sit around all day just might have the right idea. Don't set your sights too high and you will never be disappointed.

A Polish mate of mine told me that some Pilots were demoted for speaking in Polish when they were engaging enemy planes over London. i wonder if these were Pilots of 303 Squadron?

National Semiconductor to lay off 1,725


How the mighty have fallen

The big blue NS databooks were really coveted in the 80's. Far more so than the TI data books because they were harder to get hold of. TI would throw them at you by by the box, where as NatSemi were far more frugal.

I wonder if getting data out to Engineers was the reason for NS' demise and TI's success?

Jobless Brits face influx of foreign IT workers



I've just been doing some interesting research. A position in the wireless sector was advertised by one of the larger recruitment agencies and mentioned the village that the position was based in. I appled last week, followed up with a call which wasn't returned and saw today that the post was no longer being advertised. Not rocket science to work out who the company was, phoned them and was told that they haven't recruited in 12 months.

I've been smelling rats for a while and will normally call an agent to check if a position is available before making the effort to tailor my CV (tailor, not lie!) and write a covering letter only to hear nothing back.

I'm am working on plan B - my OH works and we have some slack at the moment. I've put a non-tech CV together and have an interview lined up later this week - not driving, but equally non-technical.

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Fuck this, I'm off to Poland

I've been out of work for the last ten months and it just gets more and more gloomy. I'm worried about losing my home, I'm going round and round in circles trying to find work, chasing recruitment agencies who never return my calls, many of whom I suspect are advertising non-existent roles.

Total waste of time, I feel like I'm fiddling while Rome burns. I suppose the safest job to have at the moment is with the DWP, must get my CV off....

Amazon pulls Japanese rape simulator from shelves


@Graham Marsden

"9) Having children torn to death by bears for laughing at a man's bald head."

What's wrong with that? Cheeky little sods!

Phorm: BT system 'most definitely' online by end of 2009

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I used to hold BT in awe, but they have got to the point where they suck so much that Paris couldn't take it any more.

The Phorm issue and the widespread interference that PLT are causing to HF are two issues. Oh well, since Portishead Radio closed down, BT don't give a flying fcuk about HF spectrum any more.


Street View vehicle kills Bambi


Set up a cross

What about one of those round google place pointer things instead? That would be more apt :)

'Interfering' BT Vision attracts campaigner glares


Re: Why BT


BT have been pushing Comtrend PLT devices despite complaints via Ofcom regarding interference over the last 12 months or so. BT are aware of the problem, yet continue with the sale of the products. BT have also been responsible for the majority of PLT products deployed.

WTF haven't they done due dilligence testing of their own and confirmed whether or not the products conform? They have a lot more resources than the UKQRM group at their disposal.

We have heard spurious reasons for interference including QA issues and "dodgy wiring" cited as reasons for interference which is just plain and utter bullshit.

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Re: AC Luddites

When the Twin Towers collapsed, emergency comms went off-air, because the infrastructure equipment was on top of the buildings. Radio Hams from many states came in to support the relief effor and set up networks to route messages between emergency services and also for the Red Cross.

During the Boxing Day Tsunami, relief efforts were also assisted by Amateurs using Short Wave communications. Amateur radio is part of a great many disaster recovery plans worldwide.

You can call us luddites if you want, but in crisis situations, damn useful luddites to have arround.

--... ...-- / -.. . / -- ----- ... -. .-.



Many short wave broadcasters are moving across to using Digital Radio Mondale. This will make using short wave as easy as using DAB, so should help attract a new audience. PLT interference has the potential to threaten the future of DRM.

Steve Jobs takes medical leave from Apple to focus on health

Jobs Halo

Good luck Steve

Subject says it all - All the best.

Speeding Oz teen may face 'gorillas in the mist'

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Only a good kick up the arse!

I've read the edited transcript, and going by that, I feel that Maloney did the little scrote a favour.

If he's been up in front of the beak four times, then clearly the punishments handed out so far haven't hit the mark. What he's done is to make a term in prison more scary. He's obviously put a lot of time and care into what he was going to say to Heap. I thought that the "Gorrilas in the mist" reference was quite funny, but frightening at the same time. He doesn't appear to threaten him with rape, rather that the inmates that are a lot bigger than him will "pay a lot of attention"

If he doesn't heed the Maloney's advice, he deserves to go to jail.

Ghost of Lennon punts laptops for kids


John Lennon is better at making Pot Noodles

Here is JL making Pot Noodles with out lovely Paris Hilton.

Actualy more realistic...



Indulge your fecal fantasies with a doll that craps


UK version

Baby-Alive Pikey edition...With realistic Dole grasping hands. Shits itself and then stops working for a day when given Diamond White (optional accessory)

'I don't blame pilot', says San Diego jet crash father


@AC Re Mr Yoon

My sentiments too. An incredibly caring and thoughtful man.

A very sad story nontheless.

2008 goes into one-second overtime


Bah humbug!

Can't we tag the leap second onto the start of 2009 instead? 2008 has been a bitch of a year, so why prolong it?

Wireless comms and the end of civilisation

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@Toby Mills

There are International emergency frequencies on most of the HF bands that Amateurs use, so anyone left would likely be monitoring those. These would give both inter-UK and International communications. There are a number of Amateur Satellites which again would offer Intercontinental coverage and dont necessarily require a lot of power to use. You would need a PC to predict passes though.

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@Poopie McStinklestein

And the broadcast stations between 7.1 -7.2MHz would be gone :) Woo!

--... ...-- / -.. . / -- ----- ... -. .-.


@AC re Raynet

When the Twin Towers came down, emergency comms went off-line because the antennas and repeaters were on top of the buildings.

Radio Amateurs from many States came in to assist and set up emergency communications, purely voluntarily. Same with the Boxing Day Tsunami - A lot of Radio Amateurs were involved in the relief effort.

When comms goes titsup, we are expected to help and it is our duty.

I really hate the term "Amateur....."

MP calls for Jezza Clarkson's head


Here's what I sent to Mole:

Comments regarding Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear

Mr Mole,

I watched the programme and to be honest, the comment completely passed me by. I think that your stance in trying to get Clarkson sacked is extremely childish and immature. The way that things are going, we will end up with "Watch with Mother" at Primetime (Or "Watched by Nu Labour" given the draconian plans of Jacqui Smith who knows about as much about IT as a dead Parrot)

Butt out, leave us alone and stop throwing your ministerial clout around in an attempt to raise your own public profile. All you are doing is to get the backs up of voters and helping to sink your party into the abyss of fail.

Your party tax us enough and give nothing back. Is there nothing that you don't want to interfere with and take the fun out of? Never mind...You lot wont be around for much longer.

And try http://www.upmystreet.com/commons/email/l/418.html to email him.

I also phoned the BBC complaints line and registered an "Anti-complaint"

Bumpkin's Brum — Roving Reg blogger hits the road



I'm a born and bread Brummie and proud of it. Birmingham will always be my home and I just love it. I hate London, it really sucks hard. I'd rather have a cervical smear than live there.

I just wish that people wouldn't confuse us with the Yam Yams who still point at aeroplanes and Hartley Hare....

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If yowm saft enuff ter cum up 'ere agooin wom, yowr tay ull be spiel't!

Skiving Aussie fingered on Facebook


What he should have done is...

...phoned in sick with Xenobiotic Encephalopathy

UK.gov £12bn comms überdatabase 'wouldn't spot terrorists'

Black Helicopters

A total waste of cash.

So if you are a terrorist - are you going to use open comms links? err..no. 256bit AES encryption systems are easily and readily available for radio or mobile use - see http://www.nabishi.co.uk/

No - I have no connection with the company, but gives an idea of what you can get. And as a Radio Amateur I thought that it was illegal to encrypt private traffic.

Just another waste of hard-earned tax payers money.

I can't wait to see Brown and his bunch of cronies chucked out of parliament.

BT claims UK broadband boost breakthrough



"BT has blamed Brits' poor broadband speeds on tellies, lights and electrical wiring and the interference they all cause"

What a load of complete and utter bollocks!

It's BT's own Power Line Adaptors that are the worst source of domestic interference. These things are pretty much wiping out spectrum between about 2MHz and 28MHz, obliterating Radio Amateur and Short Wave broadcasts and are being investigated by Ofcom for spectrum abuse.

Just to get an idea of the amount of crap that these horrors are pumping out, have a look at www.ukqrm.org

BT's third Phorm trial starts tomorrow


Re: Boycott

I'm with you on this one. If Virgin start Phorm trials, I will also be leaving them and have made my concerns clear to their CEO although I didn't get a reply...surprise...surprise.....

El Reg drops in on Bletchley Park


@Neil Greatorex

AFAIK, the Apple logo is in homage to Alan Turing

Customs raids tech trade show


Your name vill be added to ze list!

Don't tell him Pike!

UK.gov to spend hundreds of millions on snooping silo

Black Helicopters


I was wondering why Kent stepped down as chairman of Phorm... Maybe he's got a bigger project to run with lots of funding....

Vodafone jacks up UK prices

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Yay to Vodafone!

I've been a Vodafone contract customer since 2002 and have nothing but praise for them. Every time I've needed to contact them, their staff have been more than helpful and in most cases sorted out issues that I've had immediately. I have no affiliation with the company, but compared to pretty much all other telco's that I've had to deal with, they are head and shoulders over the rest. I like the company, dealing with them is a pleasure and personally I wish them the best. Having a good GSM900 service available is also a benefit

BT slams bandwidth brakes on all subscribers

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Evil BT

What with the Phorm trials, interference that they are causing to licensed HF spectrum users with their Homeplug systems and now throttling everyone, I'm so pleased not to be using their broadband - Phone is likely to go though.

Home radio networks: One standard to rule them all?


@Anonymous Coward

A lot of Short Wave Listeners and Radio Amateurs are being affected by the interference that these Homeplug / Vision adaptors put out. Radio equipment is not cheap and why should someones hobby and interest be destroyed by some nasty, cheap technology that pollutes pretty much of the whole of the HF spectrum? Throwing wideband RF energy into mains cabling is such an ill-conceived idea and it's obviously going to cause widespread problems. As the author of the article mentions, there are many other technologies for moving data around the home. Why use PLT? Because of ease of use.

Many cases have been reported to Ofcom who are treating the matter as Spectrum Abuse.

Even the manufacturers of the chipsets (eg DS2) know that they cause interference to licensed users of the HF band because they incorporate notching into the devices. Its up to OEM's to implement the notching. In many cases the Amateur Bands are notched, but the International Broadcast bands arent.

Regarding "If some stone-age geeks who persist in communicating by CW shortwave rather than just picking up the phone like everyone else get buzzing in their earphones, then so be it, it is the price of progress" In the US the Amateur Radio service is an integral part in many disaster recovery plans and we have served in many times of need, for example on 9/11 to support the Red Cross and traffic between emergency services. There are also many other modes apart from CW which happens to be an extremely efficient mode of communication.

Scientists decry Bletchley Park's decline

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BP funding and apathy

I tend to go down to BP quite often, it's almost my own Mecca. I'm a Radio Amateur, have donated kit and I love to see the Colossus rebuild and bask in the enthusiasm of the volunteers. It's just a shame that most of the really interesting exhibits are closed during the week or for refurbishment.

There is a serious lack of cash and I'd have thought that the majority of ElReg readers would hold BP in high regard. The park is our computing and Intelligence heritage and there is nothing like it anywhere else in the world. Not sure of the readership numbers for ElReg, but maybe an open petition to the government might attract some reasonable amount of signatures?

It would be such a shame to lose it. As I understand, £200,000 a year would help to keep on top of repairs. If it was a drop-in centre for one legged paedo muslim gay transgender drug addicts with AIDS and SAD, it would get money thrown at it.

The lack of any Government interest in technology and celebrating the work that was done by Turing and Flowers et all really pisses me off. We built it, we made it work and it's about time that we celebrated British excellence and creativity. I get the impression that the whole idea of the Government is to kill of any creativity in the UK and turn us into cretins working in shops selling stuff made off shore.


Force listeners onto DAB by killing FM

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Long live FM!

I bought a Magnum Dynalab FT-101A dedicated FM receiver a few years ago. I heard it and it blew my socks off, so bought it. A good quality FM tuner, good Yagi, attenuator and line of sight to the transmitter (Sutton Coldfield here) can produce results that blow DAB and many other sources out of the water from a sound quality perspective. OK, it does depend on programming and compression.

The big problem is that most people aren't that bothered about sound quality, they want more choice no matter how crap it sounds. I'm not sure if 2012 would be acheivable for these reasons:

1) Battery life for portable DAB receivers is dire

2) Sound quality is dire (Sibilance etc)

3) Coverage is harder to attain due to frequencies used

3) There are newer versions of DAB available (I am no expert on these - I've not heard them), so the long-term future for the current DAB network in the UK I think is in doubt.

4) Upgrading a TV to Digital is easy, just buy a Set Top Box and away you go. Migraing to DAB or a version of the standard means junking existing equipment.

5) The majority of cars do not have digital radio or dedicated / resonant antennas to receive digital radio, and adding DAB to a car radio would be more involved than adding an STB to an existing TV and and the increased frequency of DAB over FM starts to make antenna diversity more of a requirement than a luxury

Personally I'd be surprised if analogue FM gets switched off any time before 2020.