* Posts by po

19 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Aug 2007

Microsoft admits issues with Windows 10 patch almost 2 months after release


Window 11 is pretty ropey too. Could they be kneecapping the OS that sort of works to make the broken replacement look a little less awful?

IT consultant fined for daring to expose shoddy security



You have to wonder why Modern Solution GmbH would bring a suit that would inevitably draw wider attention to its sloppy security. There's no financial gain, a potential loss and the reputation damage is probably significant. The only explanation is pique, an attempt to silence critics in general, but that will also backfire if it puts a target on their back.

How do you solve the problem that is Twitter?


Penny dreadful

Twitter only ever made sense as a listed company. It was losing a billion a year on revenue of $5 billion with no real growth plan beyond splashing cash in the hopes of catching lightning in a bottle for a second time. That was only possible because of speculative investing. The moment it delisted and lost the ability to raise capital on the thinly veiled scent of cow manure, it essentially lost all value. There’s no road to success or even profitability given the debt service on $13 billion that came with the acquisition.

Apple's iPhone computer vision has the potential to preserve privacy but also break it completely


It's Apple treating its customers with contempt. That's pretty much their business model and, let's be honest, most of their customers love it, the dirty little beasts.

This always-on culture we're in is awful. How do we stop it? Oh, sorry, hold on – just had another notification


Attention economy

It's not just work-related calls on your time, though. Most people's work days now include social media, contact with friends and family, other interruptions which slow the pace and flow of the job in front of you. Our devices also pursue us after hours, with crackified content and the constant siren song of social media, games, etc. I've found the best way to secure my sanity was to strip down all digital interactions, closing my Facebook and Instagram accounts and deleting all but a handful of Apps from my phone, implementing a policy of blocking all non-essential emails at work (including from colleagues I designate as "time wasters"), using a disposable email account to open accounts and services, etc. It's freed up an amazing amount of time that, in the days before the smart phone, would probably have been spent taking cigarette breaks and dropping into the pub for a quick one between meetings.

The M in M1 is for moans: How do you turn a new MacBook Pro into a desktop workhorse?


Better idea, spend an extra £90-odd and get a Dell Inspiron 3000, which will do all the same things as your fancy Macbook, which you can then deploy for its real purpose: to sit on a table and look smart, like any luxury accessory.

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills


Spanish style

Churros and a carajillo (expresso and whisky) every time. All the essential nutrients - sugar, fat, caffeine, hair-of-the-dog - without that awful bloated feeling.

UK watchdog fines biz £130k for 900,000+ direct marketing calls to folk who had opted out


Surely drawing, quartering and boiling in oil would be a more appropriate penalty?

Everything Apple announced: Tor-ish Safari anonymization. Cloaked iCloud addresses. Cloud CI/CD. And more


Expectations were low for this event and Apple really managed to live down to them. There was really nothing for the fanbois to get excited about and not much in the way of helpful differentiators that would justify users spending twice as much money for the luxury of being captive in Apple's Magic Garden. That's not a surprise, there's no way a closed corporate cannot innovate more effectively or quickly than a lively, global open-source community, but it does mean that in future Apple will always be a follower rather than a trend setter. There's a middle-aged bulge to the company's latest offering, small improvements in privacy that could already be achieved by installing Ghostery or a VPN, an "App Library" that was apparently designed by a kindergartner on crack, a few extra voices for Siri... It's not the kind of thing that stirs the blood but rather the product of a committee of marketing executives sitting around a table desperately searching for ideas to deliver to slaver Tim before he sends you off to work in one their production factors in China alongside the Uighurs being "re-educated" by the Chinese state.

The Epic vs Apple trial is wrapping up, but the battle has just begun


Tim Cook has no idea of how much money the App store makes? Really?

I am still trying to get my head around the fact that Tim Cook, Apple's CEO and former CFO, stood in front of a judge and, under oath, claimed he had no idea how much money the App Store makes. I mean, seriously? How is that possible? I can assure you that it's a question that analysts have asked him on numerous occasions and the company has previously provided detailed analysis of trade volumes through the platform: https://www.apple.com/newsroom/2020/06/apples-app-store-ecosystem-facilitated-over-half-a-trillion-dollars-in-commerce-in-2019/

Soooooooooo, got to ask, is Mr. Cook aware that the penalty for perjury in California is up to four years in prison? It would be interesting to see the communications between the CEO and Apple's Investor Relations team over the past couple of years.

Apple's macOS is sub-par for security, Apple exec Craig Federighi tells Epic trial


Apple's argument is a little like standing before the court and claiming that you had to turn to crime because you were crap at your job. The great part is that he isn't lying.

Frenchman comes eye to eye with horror toilet python


I'm reminded of a sad story.

There was a German explorer called Schlichter,

Had a yen for a Boa constrictor

But when he lifted the tail

Achtung! It was male!

The constrictor not Schlichter was victor.

Coat. Going...

Androids in celluloid – which machine deserves the ULTIMATE MOVIE ROBOT title?


Roy Batty. How could you even begin such a list without a Blade Runner reference. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... But until now I hadn't seen such ignorance in print. Time to die.

STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants


Did anybody verify this story? There is a Fanny's Farm in Surrey but I checked the local white pages and there is no entry for the very suspiciously named Nellie Budd. The nearest available Budd would appear to be Ashley, Kate or Margerie, some 4 miles away in Coulsdon. It also seems really unlikely that somebody would leave 2 kg of weed lying around in a ditch or, for that matter, that there would be any evidence of it if sheep had gotten into it. Those furry little buggers are notorious stoners. Nor have the Surrey police, who will post about a missing cat, reported it on their website. It just doesn't ring true... and it wouldn't be the first time that a journalist made up a story.

Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest


You may laugh but...

It's easy to mock the good bishop, but remember how all those religious groups that warned against the evils of D&D back in the eighties were proved right by the massive upswing in serial killings, the opening of the hell mouths over Washington, London and Paris, and the plague of demonspawn? Lego are toying with dark forces here.

London Blitz bomb web map a hit-and-miss affair


Looking at those pictures...

London looked a lot better after the Blitz than it does now that the High Street has been taken over by betting chains and fast food outlets. Perhaps we could ask Frau Merkel to send the bombers back?

Internet's first 'Hall of Fame' REVEALED

Paris Hilton

What about...

Paris Hilton and Ron Jeremy? I mean, throw the people who made the web economically viable a bone...

Neurogaming set to be launched by Disney


Felt up by Mickey

So, Old Walt or one of his bastard creations is going to be feeling up our kids?

Worn out your vibrator? Relief is at hand


Career damaging...

My company has a corporate responsibility department - a cold soup of zealous, pony tailed carrot botherers who make life hell with officious little emails tellings us to only drive our ferraris on weekends (not joking), use Every Click as our browser, etc, etc, etc.

And now you guys give me this. And I know I shouldn't send it to them, or post it on the Intranet, or circulate it to my colleagues 'cos it's going to get me fired. But I have to and I really couldn't care any more because it's Saturday and I am at work and I hate my job...