* Posts by Ochib

381 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Mar 2016


Husqvarna ports Doom to a robot lawnmower – not, thankfully, its chainsaws


Well the BOFH had a run in (or two) with a motorised death machine a few years ago

City council megaproject to spend millions for manual work Oracle system was meant to do


The Active Travel money is from Central Government. BCC bid for this over the last few years. If it isn't spent the money just back to Central Goverment

Out with the old, in with the new as 100 Starlink satellites take atmospheric exit


Re: Disposible like BIC or Gillette razors

If you ever find yourself stranded on a desert island, make sure to have a segment of fibre in your pocket. Then, just bury the fibre and in no time someone will be by with a backhoe.

Whether to move off Oracle is the $100M+ question for Europe's largest public body


Re: Errm.. how?

London 9.6m population 32 authorities

Manchester 2.7m population 10 authorities

Birmingham 2.6m population 1 authority

Perfect timing... US Navy throws Boeing $103M to update its sub recon jets


Re: P-8 sub hunters

There are more planes in the sea than there are subs in the sky

Fujitsu will not bid for UK.gov business until Post Office inquiry closes


Don't forget this is New Business, It says nothing about bidding for a renewal of contracts it already has

Data regulator fines HelloFresh £140K for sending 80M+ spams


Re: £140,000?

Profit afer tax for 2021 was 256.30m euros.


Should be at least £0.01 per spam

New cars bought in the UK must be zero emission by 2035 – it's the law


Re: Screw the Hoi Polloi!

Just run the cable over the pavement, or, as some councils have done, install charge points in lampposts

Philips recalls 340 MRI machines because they may explode in an emergency


Re: If you aren't full of shrapnel you will probably suffocate

Isn't Michael Jackson's favourite gas HE HE?

Musk floats idea of boat mod for Cybertruck


Rule 32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.

PLACEHOLDER ONLY Someone please write witty headline here


Had a script that created users and a randomised password that was a Name of a Fruit, a Colour and an Animal

All worked fine until we had a complaint from HR and had to remove the following from the look-up table. Banana, Black and Monkey.

BOFH: Monitor mount moans end in Beancounter beatdown


Re: Sounds vaguely familiar...

Manybe the manufacture of that pannel had stop making them and if any were damaged the whole ceiling would need to be replaced

Wanted: Driver for rocket-powered Bloodhound Land Speed Record car


Some may say that he is the fastest human on four wheels. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

Gas supplier blames 'rogue' code for Channel Island outage


Anything that happens, happens.

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.

Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.

It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.

Tweaked Space Shuttle Main Engine gets ready for final testing


It's only a Recommended Standard.

How is this problem mine, techie asked, while cleaning underground computer


Cleaning Printers that are full of dust

Only to to told, that's not ordinary dust those printers have come from the local Crematoria and what I thought was dust was ash

Last rites for the UK's Online Safety Bill, an idea too stupid to notice it's dead


Re: Computer MOT

Had an issue with an ISP who wouldn't look at my issue until I lied on the call and stated that I was running Windows with all the update applied. The issue was that a car had hit the green box at the end of the road, but I had to go though the script to report it.

BOFH: Zen and the art of battery replacement


Re: Danger of escalation alert

It’s not illegal to own an e-bike with a power output exceeding 250 Watts, or where the electrical assistance doesn’t cut off at 25kph. However, it is illegal to ride it as you would a standard bike (without it being registered and insured like a moped), on a public highway – this includes both roads and off-road rights of way such as bridleways and byways.

Unregistered and uninsured e-bikes that do not conform to regulations can only be ridden on private land where the public doesn’t have access, with the permission of the landowner.

Bad software destroyed my doctor's memory


Re: The Old(er) Way of Doing Things

Normally the way to do this was to wait until they went on holiday and replace it then.

Want to pwn a satellite? Turns out it's surprisingly easy


It's been done


Framework starts taking orders for 16-inch repairable, upgradeable laptop


Re: I have to say I would really like a laptop with the touchpad to the right

Cost of Mainboard Kit (AMD Ryzen™ 7040 Series) - total cost inc 16Gb memory and wifi card £547.00

Cost of new laptop with the same spec £1,073.00

Post-Brexit tariffs on cross EU-UK electrical vehicle imports still going ahead


There are about 95% recyclable or they are used as battery storage in places like the Johan Cruijff Arena in Amsterdam

NASA and miners face off over lithium deposits at satellite calibration site


Well Ukraine has about 500,000 tons of lithium oxide and other rare earth metals.

UK government hands CityFibre £318M for rural broadband builds


Would be nice if Gigabit internet came to rural Birmingham. It may well once the Londoners move up there due to HS2

Comms watchdog to probe errors that left Brits unable to make emergency calls


It’s not DNS

There’s no way it’s DNS

It was DNS

Cisco: Don't use 'blind spot' – and do use 'feed two birds with one scone'


Let's have a brainstorm about this use of language, or should we be thinking outside the switch

Fed up with Python setup and packaging? Try a shot of Rye


Will it work with C?

I descend upon your earth from the skies

I command your very souls you unbelievers

Bring before me what is mine

At the 7 C's of Rye

An earlier supply chain attack led to the 3CX supply chain attack, Mandiant says


Re: The "supply-chain attack"

It wouldn't be so effective if programmers stopped downloading random software to their corporate PCs

Do you use comms software from 3CX? What to do next after biz hit in supply chain attack


3CX do off-Prem PBX as well

"3CX Hosted and StartUP users do not need to update their servers as we will be updating them over the night automatically. Servers will be restarted and the new Electron App MSI/DMG will be installed on the server. We recommend that you DO NOT install or deploy the Electron App. This update is only to ensure that the trojan has been removed from the 3CX Server where Desktop Apps are stored and in case any users decide to deploy the app anyway. During the restart there might be disruption for a few minutes while we restart your server."

Scottish space upstart's rocket crashes into the drink


Hopefully the front didn't fall off

In a time before calculators, going the extra mile at work sometimes didn't add up


Re: Of course, Britain went decimal shortly afterwards!

Horses are still bought and sold at public auction in the UK in Guineas.

The buyer bids in guineas and will pay the full value of their bid, that is to say £1.05 for every guinea, the seller will only receive £1 for every guinea, with the spare 5p traditionally being kept as the auctioneer’s commission. Take for example a horse sold at auction for 1,000 guineas. In this instance the buyer would pay £1,050 (1,000 x £1.05), the seller would receive £1,000 with the auction house then retaining £50. In a way, this does make it simple for the seller to keep track of how much they will receive for the horse, as they merely need to convert the guinea value directly into pounds using a one to one conversion.

BOFH: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?


Re: We had the opposite ...

Rincewind had one bucket of coal delivered per Job Title he had, as the famous wizzard has 19; he get 19 buckets per day, one for each role he fills--in the summer, his office is an inferno, since if he does not burn all his coal, he will receive no more--in line with Ridcully's order that to receive a replacement, one must use up all of the previous supply of anything

Supercomputer lab swaps lead-acid UPS batteries for alkaline gear


Welcome to the Li-on's den

Now the batteries have come of age

Buying a USB adapter: Pennies. Knowing where to stick it: Priceless


Re: The Old Engineer and the Hammer

that would be an ecumenical matter

South Yorkshire to test fiber broadband through water pipes


This reminds me of the Google April Fools

Google TiSP (short for Toilet Internet Service Provider)


India bans drone imports to help local manufacturers take off


obvious loophole

Just fly the drones in using a drone

Boffins demonstrate a different kind of floppy disk: A legless robot that hops along a surface


Are they all called Zem

And do they speak in a mixture of willomies, globbers, flurs, and glurries

Leaked footage shows British F-35B falling off HMS Queen Elizabeth and pilot's death-defying ejection


maxim 32

Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water

Boffins find way to use a standard smartphone to find hidden spy cams


Re: Haven't movie theaters been doing it for years?

Got kicked out of the cinema today just because I took my own food! My argument was the prices they charge there are outrageous, and besides I haven't had a barbecue for ages...

Say what you see: Four-letter fun on a late-night support call


Re: The joys of the phonetic alphabet

You mean

F for 'vescence

I for Novello

L for leather

M for 'sis

Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone


The Onosecond


Euro Parliament backs ban on cops using blanket facial-recognition surveillance


Thank goodness we have left the EU


Priti Patel

Is it a bridge? Is it a ferry? No, it's the Newport Transporter


Re: Wind Strength

As Gale comes from the Middle English gale, a general word for wind of any strength, even a breeze. A force 6 is technically a gale


Re: What about the Arizona bridge?

Working on the site

From morning 'till night

That's livin' alright

Tech contractors fume over payday outage at Giant Pay after it sniffs 'suspicious activity'



Looks like there is more to this than meets the eye

"Upon detection of suspicious activity on our network on 22nd September 2021, we immediately assembled a response team including IT data experts and specialist lawyers, and we are currently working with the highest priority to resolve this issue. As part of the investigation and as a measure of caution, we have proactively taken our systems offline and suspended all services temporarily. We are also liaising with regulatory bodies to investigate and remediate the situation. We can confirm that our databases are encrypted.

As an interim measure, and to ensure that payment is made to your account on 24 September, we will pay you the same amount that was paid to you last week. This will be paid via Faster Pay and will be in your account by the end of the day. As soon as possible, we will confirm that your payroll is back to normal. We appreciate that this is not ideal, but we wanted to ensure that you receive a payment.

We apologise for the disruption and appreciate your patience whilst we investigate this matter and work to restore functionality."


Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia


It's happened before

The mighty Australian army were defeated by Emus

How long till some drunkard puts a foot through one of BT's 'iconic, digital smart city communication hubs'?


Re: Oh....really?

Was it this article?



Plug your phone into a random USB Socket

what's the worst that can happen.