* Posts by Ochib

317 posts • joined 22 Mar 2016


Journo who went to prison for 2 years for breaking US cyber-security law is jailed again


Re: Monitoring software?

According to the indictment, they (the US Government) sort 3 year of supervised release. The monitoring software was properly put there by the Government

Iffy voltage: The plague of PC builders and Hubble space telescope controllers alike


Breaking the cardinal rule of IT

No change Fridays

UK's data watchdog probes use of private email to discuss government business at the Department of Health


Re: open goal I should imagine

That email address breaks the Scunthrope rule and can't be used on AOL

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs have made themselves a home in Fukushima's exclusion zone


Wars fought between Humans and Animals 1

Wars won by Animals 1 (Emus V the Oz army)

‘Fasten your seat belts, raise your tray table, and disconnect your Bluetooth headsets from the entertainment unit’


I am and don't call me Shirley

Toyota reveals its work on an honest-to-goodness cloak of invisibility


I see Q branch has leaked information again

They must have let Toyota have a good look at the Martin V12 Vanquish/Vanish

Blue passports, French service provider: Atos bags £21m UK Passport Office deal


Re: "become completely digital"

Welsh signs gone wrong


FBI paid renegade developer $180k for backdoored AN0M chat app that brought down drug underworld


Re: Huh?

In March "canyouguess67" posted on WordPress that ANOM was a "scam" and that a device he had tested was "in constant contact with" Google servers and relayed data to non-secure servers in Australia and the United States.

"I was quite concerned to see the amount of IP addresses relating to many corporations within the 5 eyes Governments (Australia, USA, Canada, UK, NZ who share information with one another)," the post said before it was deleted.

UK's BT starts trials of new hollow-core optical fibre networks


I used to work in a village just outside Birmingham. BT said that they would run FTTC if there was more than 100 people would express an interest in that product.

It took us 2 days and the local phone book to get 200 people signed up.


High-frequency trading

If there is an advantage to hollow fibers HFT companies will be the first to move

Former IT manager from Essex pleads guilty to defrauding the NHS of £800k


VAT non payment

I would have thought that not paying HMRC the difference between input and output VAT would come under defrauding HMRC and not the NHS

Seeking an escape from the UK? Regulations aimed at rocket and satellite launches from 2022 have arrived


Relevant Tom Scott video


The Home Office will need to overturn a long legacy of failure to achieve ambition of all-digital border by 2025


If it is fully digital

does that means that the immigration officers will be counting on their fingers

Oops, says Manchester City Council after thousands of number plates exposed in parking ticket spreadsheet


Re: Swiss number plates

It is also possible to own two (or more) vehicles that share the vehicle license number plates: the plates are physically unmounted from one vehicle and mounted on another, provided the vehicles in question are owned by the same owner of the vehicle license number plate. These plates are known locally as "Wechselschilder".

NHS-backed org reacted to GitHub leak disclosure with legal threats and police call, complains IT pro


I think the answer to the question "whose money" is our money, via the Dept of Health

RIP Spencer Silver: Inventor of the Post-it Note, aka the office password reminder, dies


Re: RIP Spencer

Did they record the passwords on the monitor bezels with a Dremel? The IT department that I used to work at caused mass confusion by swapping the monitors over one weekend.

So many calls on Monday from users saying that their accounts had been locked, but they were sure that they were using the correct password.

Stale and past its best. Are you talking about Windows or the pizza you're waiting for?


Pizza toppings

anchovies ftw

The Wight stuff: Marconi and the island, when working remotely on wireless comms meant something very different


The First Ever Wireless Hack: Marconi vs Maskelyne


File this next to Mars bars under 'things that should not be deep-fried': Marks & Spencer's Colin the Caterpillar


The scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could

they didn't stop to think if they should.

WTH are NFTs? Here is the token, there is the Beeple....


Looks like a good way to launder money

Create art in a NFT and get someone to buy for a few million. Nice clean cash

UK government gives Automated Lane Keeping Systems the green light for use on motorways


Re: 37MPH

At present in the UK, there is no legislation for minimum speeds on UK motorways. Although there has been calls for years to set a minimum speed limit, the practicalities of doing so means that at present there is still no specific minimum speed. The Republic of Ireland has a minimum speed of 30 mph on motorways, .

In some cases, there have been individuals who have received fines for driving too slow on the motorway, although these are extremely rare.

SpaceX flings another bunch of humans into orbit in reused capsule atop reused booster


Re: Two crews

You have Hot Desking and Hot Bunking, so it shouldn't be a problem

How not to apply for a new job: Apply for it on a job site


Re: LinkedOut.

Or Skype

UK reseller sues Microsoft for £270m in damages claiming prohibitive contracts choke off surplus Office licence supplies


Re: "Earlier this year it slashed the length of support perpetual licence holders could expect."

Isn't that the same as "Unlimited broadband (Subject to Fair Use Policy)". Either something is unlimited or it isn't

Their 'next job could be in cyber': UK Cyber Security Council launches itself by pointing world+dog to domain it doesn't own


Re: Why?

You are all welcome at the Judean Popular Front

Mullet over: Aussie boys' school tells kids 'business in the front, party in the back' hairstyle is 'not acceptable'


Re: Ahhh.

First they came for the Mullets and I did not speak out because I had no hair

Scottish National Party members found among list of names signed up to rival Alba Party after website whoopsie


I'm setting up a new party - Campaign for a Free Scotland

Ticker tape and a binary message: Bank of England's new Alan Turing £50 must be the nerdiest banknote ever


£50 notes the currency of corrupt elites, of crime of all sorts and of tax evasion

Move aside, Technoking: All hail the Sweat Master and his many inspirational job titles


Looks like the fire at OVH will replace The Floods of 1967 as the new reason why files can't be found

With Nominet’s board-culling vote just days away, we speak to one man who will publicly support the management


Re: All I want is a registry that just works.

In the 1930s, the Italians developed an engine fuel technology that used household spices.

It’s true. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

Millimetre-sized masses: Physics boffins measure smallest known gravitational field (so far)


Golden balls and no mention of Jasper Carrot? Shameful.


Space station dumps 2.9-ton battery pack to burn up in Earth's atmosphere after hardware upgrade


Re: Ballistics Officer

This, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight! Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class Dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed. It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb. That is three times the yield of the city buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth.

That means: Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space! (...) I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty! Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going 'till it hits something! That can be a ship, or the planet behind that ship.

It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years. If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone's day, somewhere and sometime!"

OVH data centre destroyed by fire in Strasbourg – all services unavailable


Re: The Cloud

Offprem ≠ Cloud

Would you let users vouch for unknown software's safety with an upvote? Google does



To get Boaty McBoatfaced means that you’ve made the critical mistake of letting the internet decide things. In other words, as much as we revere democracy, there are times — and they do typically involve the internet — when one’s fellow citizens deliberately make their choices not in order to foster the greatest societal good, but, instead, to mess with you.

The city of Austin, Texas, got McBoatfaced, for example, when it asked the internet to name its waste management service. The internet obliged by suggesting it be named in honor of Fred Durst, the frontman of the rock band Limp Bizkit.

Taylor Swift and VH1 got McBoatfaced when they asked the internet to choose a location for her forthcoming concert. The internet obliged by choosing the Horace Mann School for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing. (Ms. Swift, proving once and for all that she is a good sport, donated $10,000 to the school, before settling on another venue.)

But sometimes these episodes can take a darker turn. Mountain Dew got McBoatfaced when it asked the internet to name its new flavor. The internet — largely driven by members of the message boards Reddit and 4chan — obliged by naming the new flavor “Hitler Did Nothing Wrong.”

A word to the Wyse: Smoking cigars in the office is very bad for you... and your monitor


Re: Clogged Computers

This was the computer in the room where the furnace is. They empty the the furnace in to containers using a brush.


Re: Clogged Computers

Not as bad as PCs in crematorium that get full of dust. As you know what that dust is

Nominet sets the date for extraordinary meeting where members could fire CEO


Re: No credible alternative plan has been put forward.”

FOOF is Satan’s kimchi


Re: “Approval of this resolution would plunge the organisation into the unknown,”

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.

We know it's hard to get your kicks at work – just do it away from a wall switch powering anything important


Re: My favourite one....

Co-op apologises after shopper is overcharged because store assistant's breasts were resting on the scales


Minister tells the House of Lords it'll be another 12 weeks before UK's deleted criminal records can be restored


Re: the process would take 12 more weeks

Don't you mean Soolin

There's no 'I' in Teams so Microsoft issues 6-month warning for laggards still on Skype for Business Online


There is no "I" in "Team" and there is no "F" in "Way"

One careful driver: Make room in the garage... Bloodhound jet-powered car is up for sale


Don't need lights to be road legal


4. Exemptions - General

3) Nothing in these Regulations shall require any lamp or reflector to be fitted between sunrise and sunset to :-

(a) a vehicle not fitted with any front or rear position lamp,

(4) Without prejudice to regulation 16, for the purposes of these Regulations a lamp shall not be treated as being a lamp if it is :-

(a) so painted over or masked that it is not capable of being immediately used or readily put to use; or

(b) an electric lamp which is not provided with any system of wiring by means of which that lamp is, or can readily be, connected with a source of electricity.

You would expect a qualified electrician to wire a building to spec, right? Trust... but verify


Re: Professionals built the titanic...


BOFH: Are you a druid? Legally, you have to tell me if you're a druid


Re: Plagiarism

Did you jam the dice up your opponent's nostrils, headbutt him on the nose, and they came out his ears?

Nothing new since the microwave: Let's get those home tech inventors cooking


Re: New heating methods

Relevant XKCD


Dutch officials say Donald Trump really did protect his Twitter account with MAGA2020! password


That's the same as my air-shield

Don't give up on Planet Nine yet: Hubble 'scope finds just such a world a mere 336 light-years away


Re: Nudged?

LISTER: Let me get this straight. Is she doing what I think she's doing?

CAT: Why? What DO you think she's doing?

LISTER: Playing pool with planets.

RIMMER: Is that possible?

LISTER: Well, it's not going to work. It's completely insane. It's

whacko. It's noodle-doodle.

CAT: I'm with you, buddy.

LISTER: No, not the idea, the shot. There's not enough side.

RIMMER: "Side?"

LISTER: Yeah, side-spin. It's a complete mis-cue.

RIMMER: What are you drivelling about, Lister? We're talking about a

computer with an IQ in excess of twelve thousand.

LISTER: Doesn't mean she can play pool. I can. Trust me. I know

whereof I speak. Aigburth Arms on a Friday night. They used to call

me Dave "Cinzano Bianco" Lister 'cause once I was on the table, you

couldn't get rid of me. This pool arm is as sound as a dollarpound,

and I promise you that shot _will not come off_. She's topped it,

that's what she's done, she's topped it! It's a felt-ripper! That

planet is off the table and into somebody's pint of beer.

RIMMER: We are talking about the trigonomics of four-dimensional space,

you simple-minded gimboid! We are not talking about some seedy game of

pool in a backstreet Scouse drinking pit.

LISTER: It's the same principle.

RIMMER: Of course it isn't!

LISTER: Rimmer, I promise you, THAT is a complete mis-cue. I say we

chuck Holly's coordinates in the bin and let ME take the shot.

RIMMER: Well, I say we put it to the vote. On one hand, we have a

computer, with an IQ in excess of twelve thousand, who has a total

grasp of astrophysics. And on the other hand, we have Lister, who, and

let's be fair to him, is a complete gimp. To whom do we entrust our

lives, the safety of this vessel and the future of everything? If it's

a tie, we go with Holly. What's your vote, Lister?

LISTER: Well, I vote for Dave "Cinzano Bianco" Lister.

RIMMER: One-nil to Listypoos. I vote for Holly. Cat?

CAT: Well, I agree with you, buddy. But I'm voting for Doodoo Breath.

The thing is, even though you're right, I could not bring myself to

vote for someone with your dress sense. I couldn't put my cross next

to the Bri-nylon party.

RIMMER: Down to you, Kryten.

KRYTEN: Well, I agree it's insane and suicidal, Sir, but I'm afraid I

have to side with the human.

LISTER: Brutal!

RIMMER: You're voting for El Dirtball?

KRYTEN: It's in my programming, Sir. A living human outranks a hologram.

I'm sorry.

LISTER: Three-one to me! Let's do it!

RIMMER: Congratulations, Kryten. Your vote has just killed everyone.

CAT: Will you relax? I've seen Gerbil-Face play down in the Recreation

Room. He's a diva! He can knock those striped balls around the table

all night long, and I tell you what, I have never once seen him lose a

single ball down one of those holes!

Behold the drive-thru of the California Highway Patrol: Fry me a river, has 'CHIPS' stopped working again?


Common Hybrid Interface Protocol System (CHIPS) perhaps

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?


Re: Inside joke?

We had to change the name of an IT system that was due to be installed from Patient Information Support System to Hospital Information Support System

Worn-out NAND flash blamed for Tesla vehicle gremlins, such as rearview cam failures and silenced audio alerts


Not a fan of the film staring Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, Meat Loaf and Zach Grenier.



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