Posts by Stuart Elliott

Lindsay Lohan goes down for 90 days

Wow, emo much?

All I asked was if there was a way of not showing Bootnotes in the main list, I thought it was a reasonable request, no need to go all wrist slashing, emo teenager like.

Geeze, you need to switch to decaf matey.

Bootnotes

Is there a way of disabling Bootnotes (or other sections if necessary) from appearing in the list of stuff shown?

Job sites slam domain name land grab

Damn

Damn it.. both steve.jobs and blow.jobs have both gone.

Apple spews Judas Phone signal bar 'fix' to world+dog

49?

Not patch 42 then?

Shock and awe

It still isn't fixed, despite their Snake Oil attempt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXYBXQQYgNs&feature=player_embedded

Feed curry to sheep, boffins suggest

Curry to sheep?

If my botty is anything to go by after a hearty Lamb Madras, I'm guessing it's not going to work..

Flame, well, because you wouldn't want to strike a match..

Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip

As a leftie..

I hold my 3GS in my right hand, and control the screen with the left, I would have thought it natural for any left handed person to do the same, I tried holding the phone in my left hand and using my right hand for screen control and it just felt weird.

I guess I'll buy one of the current 4Gs when they're all recalled and worth £20, as it doesn't look as if it'll effect me \o/

Or if anyone decides they'd prefer to swap their 4G with my slightly used 3GS, feel free to reply here. :)

Apple iOS 4 update frustrates iPhone 3G owners

Likewise

Yep, upgraded the wifes 3G, without problem, will do my 3GS when the apps start catching up with v4 compatibility.

Watch bandit IDed by own mobe snap

Oooh, just round the corner

Quite odd to read a Reg report when the crime in question took place less than 1/2 a mile away from me.

Well done the rozzas!

Microsoft sneaks Firefox add-on into Patch Tuesday update

Malware writers fault?

Erm yes.. Just because you CAN do a thing, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Key Star Trek tri-corder boffinry breakthrough

But inquisitive minds what to know..

Will it make the tricorder whoohoohooohoohoo noise?

Steve Jobs beheads iPad apps for acting like desktops

You say tomato I say tomato..

Let's call the whole thing off.

RE: Wrong Fable

Nope, he was referring to the song "The Snake" sung by Al Wilson.

Badgers.. well because they go well with snakes..

Badger badger badger badger.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyixC9NsLI

Found phone leads to paedophile ring

Too quick

Just cut off their hands and balls, and tattoo PAEDO to their forehead.

Statistics prof nails Blackpool hoopla scam

Shock and awe!

Fairground attractions in "rigged against the consumer" shocker, news at 11.

In other news, water is wet.

No penis pumping for Papuan plod

Inquisitive minds.

.. want to know where we can pick up one of those trees.

For purely academical purposes of course.

Leonard Nimoy in 'no more Spock' shock

And the second half of the saying hopefully applies too..

"Peace and long life".

Humax HD-Fox T2 Freeview HD receiver

ITV HD already available if you have Sky HD

You can already surreptitiously get ITV HD if you own SkyHD by manually adding it to "Other Channels".

Add Channels using these parameters:

11.427

H

2/3

27500

And add channel 10510, and watch it in Other Channels.

Only downsides, are you can't pause/rewind and the audio isn't Dolby 5.1, but the picture is crystal, great for Champions League matches. \o/

Oscars can Sacha Baron Cohen Avatar skit

Good

Anything that keeps Sacha Boring Cu** off the airways is a good thing.

Microsoft erases Windows 8 optimism

To follow on from the OP

Windows 8 my hamster!

UK BitTorrent admin acquitted on fraud charge

\o/

Excellent news, pleased for you Alan.

Apple voids warranties over cigarette smoke, users say

All hail the Jobsian overlords

As someone who has had the misfortune to have to repair PCs from smokers, I have to say "well done" to Apple for refusing, it is the most disgusting smell and feel I have had the misfortune to purposely deal with, though habitual curry makers PCs are a close second.

Play.com leaves Modern Warfare 2 buyers empty handed

Boycotted play.com ages ago

Been let down twice by them, so switched to coolshop.co.uk - I had the PC edition of MW2 on the Saturday before launch for a paltry £24.99 p&p included, so my only gripe was with Steam not allowing me to install it until the Tuesday.

Mozilla plans to tie Firefox 3.7 pigtails in pretty Ribbon

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

... oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo^36

I absolutely HATE the Office ribbon.

Windows 7 prepped for August 6 release

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me...

August 6th is my birthday, how fitting I get a new toy to play with via my MSDN subscription.

\o/

The best memory config for a Core i7 CPU

Verdict: Stuff your 64-bit Core i7 system with 12GB of memory and you’ll reap the benefits.

Cool, I skipped from page 1 to page 7, scrolled down, and saw what I had already in place with my 965 extreme, 4 months ago. :)

Firefox 3.5 gets third release candidate

Mouse over popups

Anyone else have the problem that when you mouse over anything with an ALT= comment, the box is empty ?

Pirate Party wins seat in European Parliament

I didn't vote

Not because I'm lazy (although I am,but that's an aside), not because I thought my vote wouldn't count in the grand scheme of things, but because there wasn't a tick box stating "None of the above".

Google to fund 'video Street View' for Central London

AFD

Excellent, that should get the veins in the foreheads popping in the "privacy" whiners.

MS coughs to hokey-cokey IE8 option in Windows 7

Good news everybody..

"IE8 isn't the only Windows component users will be able to "remove" from the operating system.

Microsoft has also added Windows Media Player, Windows Media Center, Windows DVD Maker, Windows Search, Handwriting Recognition, Windows Gadget Platform, Fax and Scan and XPS Viewer and Services to the options list."

Excellent, all the crap I don't use..

Online bookie Bwin funding dodgy football website

I subscribe to Sky Sports and Setanta..

Yet I've still got to go to IRAQGOALS or JUSTIN.TV to watch a footie match played in my own country.

What's wrong with this picture (other than it's blocky and not HD ?)

Mexican phone firms to fingerprint new customers

So, they kidnap and murder..

but they don't steal other peoples mobile phones?

O2 and Be customers suffer network congestion

No problems here

Working as speedily as every in sunny Cheshire.

Obama unfurls master plan for US cybersecurity

@ShaggyDoggy

To be fair, he's a damned sight more interesting than our own politicians, I actually enjoyed listening to his speech, more than I can say about anything said in Prime Ministers question time for the last 20 years.

Web 2.0rhea hack mistaken for end of universe

Funny ?

As a pundit, though, I can tell you that making fun of Twitter's feeble attempt at engineering is like making fun of a kid with Down syndrome: It's only funny the first couple of times.

Since when was making fun of down syndome kids funny even once ?

City of Heroes fingered in MMO patent lawsuit

Worlds Chat

Scarily enough, I was a member of Worlds Chat a long time ago in a galaxy far far away..

Bees on cocaine: The facts

What do you mean Officer?

This cocaine is purely for my bee collection, which erm, are out on reconnaissance at the moment..

Register Hardware revamped

* A title is required.

Cheers for the update, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to y'all at Reg Central.

Corrupt cop abused police database to blackmail child abusers

Good on him.

They're criminals, they deserve everything they get!

But then again...

So is he, and he did, so all is well in the balance.

Clangers creator dies at 83

Farewell..

Sorry to hear such a sad loss, his creations kept me a happy boy.

On a lighter (and hopefully not too sick note) - I almost hope, that, when they lower his coffin into the soil, you hear a "heeeeeave, heeeeeeeave, heeeeeeeeeave"..

Half of Brits abuse apostrophe's

And another thing...

Ellipses...

Windows 7 early promise: Passes the Vista test

There is no sign of Windows...

... becoming deeply ribbon-driven in this preview.

Thank the gods for that, I bloody hate the damned ribbon, it's made using Office and AutoCAD harder, for existing users, I have more calls from my users about where something is on the ribbon, when it used to be on the Tools menu, for example, than I care for.

The menus worked, give us the option to go back to them for crying out loud.

Trigger-happy Welsh cops taser sheep

Tazered Sheep > Blocked Road

It's a bloody sheep, get over it for crying out loud, you eat the bloody things, bet you don't BLEAT about popping into Tescos for a "humanely obtained" leg of lamb for Sunday lunch...

Microsoft's Hotmail hybrid struggles to life

Use Outlook instead

Much nicer to cut all the trash out of Hotmail and just use the Outlook Connector tool to import your Hotmail account into Microsoft Outlook instead..

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/outlook/HA102218231033.aspx

Illuminati spook fails to disarm Soviet cow nuke

Richard Anthony Smith

What is it with all these Dick Smiths? Does he have a mobile phone with smutty pictures too ?

OMFG, what have you done?

Site update

Can I be (but probably aren't) the first to say I like it, the font in the banner needs a bit of work, but the rest is nice enough.

Well done.

Maritz apologises to VMware customers again

Picture

Cool, the Venetians have invented flying gondolas, and all people are interested in is VMware?

I for one welcome our Venu^Hetian overloards.

Black Helicoptors because there isn't a black gondola.

Microsoft bags European price comparison sites

Price Comparison..

Did it shop around to find the best priced website ?

Council clamps down on 'man on the street'

Political Correctness

Perhaps they should have a council meeting of the 100,000 inhabitants of Chichester and ask them, the 'man on the street', what they think about the amount of taxpayers money has gone into producing the seven page load of bollocks..

Let's see what sort of response they get from that.