* Posts by Chemical Bob

613 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Mar 2016

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So my ISP can now sell my browsing history – what can I do?

Chemical Bob
Devil

simples

Just turn off all wifi security on your access point and change the SSID to "Free WiFi".

Yeah, if it works and enough people outside your house use it you'll have a slower connection but it'll probably be faster than using TOR and won't flag you as someone to watch because you're using a VPN and it totally pollutes the well.

Pirate of the Caribbean to play Hacker of the Caribbean

Chemical Bob

Re: diversity

And dead. Need someone dead, like John Belushi.

Just take every scene he was in from 'Animal House' and dub new dialog.

Bloke whose drone was blasted out of sky by angry dad loses another court battle for compo

Chemical Bob

Re: What a colostomy bag...

"I say, old chap, do the colonials actually have cricket bats to hand?"

We have plenty of ax handles...

Boffins crowdsource hunt for 'Planet 9'

Chemical Bob
Alien

Planet 9 is Pluto. This is Plant 10, which will not be found as it is in the eighth dimension.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Buckaroo_Banzai_Across_the_8th_Dimension

Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?

Chemical Bob

earnestly staring at the trickle

Two words:

Super Beta Prostate

ok, that's 3 words, sorry

LinkedIn starts piping sales data to Salesforce and Dynamics

Chemical Bob

Re: Linked Out

Same here.

Linux-using mates gone AWOL? Netflix just added Linux support

Chemical Bob
Thumb Up

"Awesome. Netflix is about to get another 3 customers..."

And all 3 of them upvoted you!

Android O my god! It's finally here (for devs)

Chemical Bob

Re: So what's the "O"?

Obituary

Wanted: Bot mechanic. New nerds, apply within

Chemical Bob

Marvin sez

Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to change old people's soiled undergarments. Call that job satisfaction? ‘Cos I don’t.

BOFH: Don't back up in anger

Chemical Bob

Re: New technical terms.

"discombobulate the fratisstaff"

It's quicker to flatternize the Giff-Hiiny quadrasnopes...

Judge issues search warrant for anyone who Googled a victim's name

Chemical Bob
Boffin

Re: @John G Imrie

The Anonymous Cowards are all different. All the commentards with unique names are really just me in disguise.

Face down in a Shoreditch gutter: Attack of the kickstarting hipster

Chemical Bob
Alien

Re: Caroline Munro

Yes, her performance was out of this world. David Hasselhoff also turned in a stellar performance. The inclusion of Marjoe Gortner was sheer lunacy, however. Should have cast Kevin Spacey instead...

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: Dabsy's strap-on

Sounds like Dabbsy's almost made it up the stairs...

Microsoft kills Windows Vista on April 11: No security patches, no hot fixes, no support, nada

Chemical Bob

Re: Those poor Vista users

No, there's actually six of them - they're the ones who complained when Microsoft announced they were shutting down So.cl.

Dungeons & Dragons finally going digital

Chemical Bob

Re: You have entered a very dark room.

"What shall I do?"

You shall head straight for the Betty Ford Clinic because if you see *anything* in a very dark room, you are high on drugs!

Microsoft nicks one more Apple idea: An ad-supported OS

Chemical Bob
Windows

Re: Last time I tried I had two big niggles and a small niggle

That happened to me once when I drank from a bottle with no label.

At least I *think* that's what happened...

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: Adverts, etc.

> It's got me wondering how come I'm leading a (thankfully) ad-free existence...

I'll bet it's because you never, ever use the internet.

Signature Trump policy - H-1B visa reform - looks to be on the back burner

Chemical Bob

Re: Trump. Nothing he says comes true.

"whatever comes out of a Politician's mouth..."

That isn't a mouth.

BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

Chemical Bob

Re: Do you become some kind of Superboar is one of them bites you??

No, you become a Super Bore and correct people in comment forums on the Internet.

Repentant priest from Cuntis sorry he dressed as Hugh Hefner

Chemical Bob

Re: Disgusting

Vogons

Google to Chrome-plate our shops with creepy mood-sensing AI signs

Chemical Bob
Happy

Re: I do not look happy

"Perhaps you are blocked up with cheese. There are many fine laxative products and vacuum pumps in aisle 9".

FBI boss: 'Memories are not absolutely private in America'

Chemical Bob
Devil

Re: Mr. Comey, would you like to borrow a mirror?

Won't work. He casts no reflection in a mirror.

Chemical Bob

Re: @streaky

"US constitution doesn't guarantee a right to privacy. Not saying it's right but there's no explicit right recognised by the document."

However, in Roe vs Wade, the Supreme Court has ruled that the Constitution's First, Fourth, Ninth, and Fourteenth Amendments protect an individual's "zone of privacy".

Amazon relinquishes data from Echo that could have dropped eaves on a killing

Chemical Bob
Facepalm

Re: Smart Meters...

"Even better not to imagine it at all of course."

Too late. Pass the Mind Bleach, please...

Messaging app used by Trump aides 'riddled with security bugs'

Chemical Bob
Thumb Up

Re: We have the best Apps...

...they have YUUUUGE, YUUUUUGE security holes. The Best security holes. We're gonna Make Security Holes Great Again!

Shock report: 92 per cent of US government websites totally suck

Chemical Bob
Joke

That's after the Standard Deduction. Those who itemize their deductions only find that 88% suck.

Success in the bedroom breeds success in the boardroom – research

Chemical Bob

Re: Forever alone

Don't worry, Cthulhu will take you just as you are.

America halts fast processing of H-1B skilled worker visas

Chemical Bob
Headmaster

Re: @kain preacher

"Disagree with Obama did not make you racist. Asking for his birth certificate was. Calling his birth certificate fake also made you a racist."

Actually none of those things could be considered proof of being racist as none of them indicate that the person doing them really thinks his/her/it's race is superior to others. The whole Obama birth certificate kerfuffle is really just another example of the sad state of political discourse in this country.

Frustrated by reboot-happy Windows 10? Creators Update hopes to take away the pain

Chemical Bob
Linux

Re: Fake Linux

"I dunno, what's a real Linux, really?"

Yggdrasil

One IP address, multiple SSL sites? Beating the great IPv4 squeeze

Chemical Bob
Thumb Up

Wretched urine factory, elitist fuck baloons

Have some more of these, Trevor ----->

Move over, Bernie Ecclestone. Scientists unearth Earth's oldest fossil yet: 4bn years old

Chemical Bob

Re: 'seeded' from the same extrasolar source

"explain the octopus?! Three hearts and blue blood!"

They're related to Andorians (?)

Polls? How very 2016. Now Google Street View AI scanner can predict how people will vote

Chemical Bob
Joke

Re: Pickups predict republicans?

"Or a Tesla."

Nah, a Tesla indicates that the owner votes for Martians.

US Air Force terminates Predator drones. Now you will fear the Reaper

Chemical Bob
WTF?

SkyGuardian?

Who signed off on *that* name? It's like something out of an old Buck Rogers serial or a lame movie with Gwyneth Paltrow - "SkyGuardian and the World of Tomorrow".

Autonomous cars are about to do to transport what the internet did to information

Chemical Bob
Unhappy

Re: Autonomous cars are about to do to transport what the internet did to information

"An automated lorry with valuable goods makes an *excellent* target for hacking."

Unless the author of the article guessed correctly that the value of manufactured goods would drop...

Ad men hope blocking has stalled as sites guilt users into switching off

Chemical Bob

Re: Vuture Central - pay heed

Thursday.

Not sure *which* Thursday, though...

Chemical Bob
Devil

Re: One word:

I think you mean "Ad Nausea"...

Get this: Tech industry thinks journos are too mean. TOO MEAN?!

Chemical Bob

Re: Unfortunately

Eeeeeeewww!

Gulp! Drones dodge spray from California's gaping moist glory hole

Chemical Bob

Re: Stuff of nightmares

Stuff of Edgar Allan Poe stories:

http://poestories.com/read/descent

Beeps, roots and leaves: Car-controlling Android apps create theft risk

Chemical Bob
FAIL

Re: Yet again the issue is CHOICE

"Actually no, not if you want a decent new car or TV."

No, the possibility of buying a decent new car or TV went out the window when manufacturers start building in this ill-conceived frippery.

BS Detection 101 becomes actual University subject

Chemical Bob

Its called Critical Thinking

And you can start teaching it to kids around 12 years old.

Nothing new, just something sadly missing from public schooling (in the US anyway).

US visitors must hand over Twitter, Facebook handles by law – newbie Rep starts ball rolling

Chemical Bob

Re: But

It ain't about education. A lobotomy is mandatory for any political office above city council.

Chemical Bob
Devil

Re: The US is now crazy-cuckoo-land.

No, it's a *very* exclusive gun club.

Dead cockroaches make excellent magnets – now what are we supposed to do with this info?

Chemical Bob
Devil

Re: Do I see an Ig Nobel prize coming their way?

Maybe they simply had a roach problem...

Installing disks is basically LEGO, right? This admin failed LEGO

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: HTFU?

"maybe he crafted his own special hammer"

Are Craft Hammers like Craft Beer?

And can I purchase them at Walmart?

Roses are red, violets are blue, fake-news-detecting AI is fake news, too

Chemical Bob

Re: It's all rather immaterial.

Astrology is OK, it's just self-help for those unable to think for themselves.

Windows 10: What is it good for? Microsoft pitches to devs ahead of Creators Update

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: The use case for W10 is now very small...

"Universities tend not to qualify for Enterprise versions of Windows 10...."

Neither do starships that are not Constitution class...

IBM's Marissa Mayer moment: Staff ordered to work in one of 6 main offices – or face the axe

Chemical Bob

Re: a yuge success

Ya misspelt "YUUUUGE"

China announces it wants more immigrants, better diplomats and science-led industry

Chemical Bob

Re: okay, but...

"fix the toilets first, specially the public ones"

Fix the food too. Last time I was there breakfast looked like Disgusting Things boiled in snot.

Mars isn't the garbage wasteworld you think it is: Swirling polar ice cap photographed

Chemical Bob
FAIL

Re: What colour is Uranus?

" I do a really runny shit."

If you wouldn't say anything, no one would know...

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