* Posts by You aint sin me, roit

550 posts • joined 25 Feb 2016

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Linus Torvalds tells kernel list poster to 'SHUT THE HELL UP' for saying COVID-19 vaccines create 'new humanoid race'

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Trollface

"On a bike"?

What kind of superfluous waffle is that?

Precisely the kind if thing that drives people who aren't Terry Wogan mad...

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Re: A new human race indeed

If you're Magneto can I be Professor X?

US nuclear weapon bunker security secrets spill from online flashcards since 2013

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Trollface

"We f*cked up this time, we've learnt our lesson..."

"We'll f*ck up even better next time!"

Unfixable Apple M1 chip bug enables cross-process chatter, breaking OS security model

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Holmes

Rule 0 of secure programming..

"We'll never need that, might as well take it out" will always come back to bite you in the arse.

Google employee helped UK government switch from disastrous COVID-19 strategy, according to Dominic Cummings

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"Understand the technicalities in a way I couldn't do"

To these people you DO have to be a genius to see it. It really does seem that they didn't grasp exponential growth, and needed Tim Gowers to tell them!

Now I suppose that it's "cool" that Cummings could call on Dr Gowers, even if it's not his area of expertise. But it's shocking that before he did so the people in charge of our response to the virus had so little understanding.

It's almost as if a degree in classics doesn't prepare one for solving problems of a more scientific or mathematical nature...

Man found dead inside model dinosaur after climbing in to retrieve phone

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Coat

Sleeping with the stegosaurus

Disrespectful way to dispose of a body... stegosaurus was a herbivore.

Mine's the one with a copy of The Godfather in the pocket...

The Home Office will need to overturn a long legacy of failure to achieve ambition of all-digital border by 2025

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Trollface

Cyber?

Doesn't cyber have to be implemented by an ex-ballet dancer?

On the plus side, Dame Darcy would do a better job than Dido. But who wouldn't?

Boffins improve on tech that extracts DC power from ambient Wi-Fi

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Terminator

Tin foil question

Does this mean I need to invest in higher grade tin foil? Or would that increase the spin torque resulting in brain melting overheating? Would lead be a better alternative?

Asking for a friend...

Here's how we got persistent shell access on a Boeing 747 – Pen Test Partners

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Black Helicopters

Re: File under Mission Impossible script...

Tom Cruise skulking round the galley, chatting up the steward waiting for an unattended moment so he can access the ethernet

Plugs iPhone into ethernet port (good guys always use Apples).

"It's running on NT4... this might take some time!"

10 seconds later...

"I'm in!"

Proceeds to by-pass pilot controls, fires up the aircraft sim interface on his phone, and safely lands the plane at LAX.

No more fanciful than Independence Day.

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Pint

Re: Bioterrorism Shock Headline

Or just pour some out of the whisky minature the hostess gave you...

Singapore orders social media to correct Indian politician’s allegation of local COVID-19 variant

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Facepalm

Wrong icon!

"No shit, Sherlock" or "Fail" would be more appropriate.

This really isn't complicated, so much so I'm amazed at the level of delusion of people who advocated herd immunity, letting it rip, or piling bodies up by the thousands.

Like the people who say the first lockdown did nothing because covid is seasonal. Startling insight into a disease that had only been around for six months. And completely at odds with the experience of southern hemisphere countries...

Either deluded... or evil.

Blue Origin sets its price: $1.4m minimum for trip into space

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Re: "One wonders what good that money could do"

A million seems an obscene waste because it's just one person.

Meanwhile each day millions of people "waste" 10, 30, maybe even 50 quid on funfare rides.

Just think what we could do with all the cash if only people stopped spending it on enjoying themselves...

It's not as if a million is a significant contribution to Blue Origins costs - it's just a drop in the ocean. Meanwhile (US) taxpayers hand over billions to Boeing.

Activist millionaires protest outside Jeff Bezos' homes to support tax rises for the rich

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Re: A useful little test

Or you could look at whether a person has voted to pay more tax. I must admit I benefit from Tory tax reductions, but I vote in the hope of a fairer system of wealth distribution even though it will cost me.

I choose to believe, however, that we'd all benefit from a fairer society. So I suppose you could say that my voting habits have a degree of self-interest.

Waymo self-driving robotaxi goes rogue with passenger inside, escapes support staff

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Trollface

Remote control?

That would be fun to hack into...

"All your cars are ours now. Pay money, or watch them pile up."

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Mushroom

And explosive bolts on the doors...

And ejector seats... just in case.

Guy who wrote women are 'soft, weak, cosseted, naive' lasted about a month at Apple until internal revolt

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Nobody should be sacked because they might hurt someone's feelings

Proper disciplinary measures should be in place, but only for actual transgressions. Certainly not for the potential that he might be offensive.

Of course he might have been a complete dick and deserved the boot.

But this has nothing to do with his actions, it's all Apple's PR machine attempting to firefight claims that the company hires sexist men, and by association is itself promoting sexist attitudes. I imagine they paid him off to go quickly and quuetly.

Damage done though. Apart from the obvious question of why this didn't come out before he was hired, there's also the accusation that when they interviewed him they decided he'd fit in well with the team...

Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility

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Paris Hilton

Re: Your fault

And they sign you up to a year's free Experian subscription, supposedly so you can monitor your credit rating just in case bad people start taking out loans using your credentials, and default on them.

But now Experian haz all your data, and we know what happens next...

Paris, coz we know there will get messy.

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Holmes

Re: Moving right along...

No shit, Sherlock

Bill to protect UK against harmful foreign investment becomes law

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Trollface

Come on now, be fair...

Saudi princes are happy with a bit of assassination too...

Big Tech bankrolling AI ethics research and events seems very familiar. Ah, yes, Big Tobacco all over again

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Re: Racial bias

To be fair that's not AI.

Stop and search more black youths and you will find more black youths carrying knives...

So stop and search more black youths! And find more knives...

The data suggests that black youths carry knives. Of course the preponderance of white youths carrying knives is unknown because they don't get stopped in the first place.

Nothing to do with AI, just simple racism.

We admire your MOXIE, Earthlings: Perseverance rover gizmo produces oxygen for first time on Mars

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Alien

However, carbon dioxide breathing space aliens

See the use of chemical weapons as a declaration of war.

"Damn you Earthlings, coming over here, trashing the environment."

Capgemini scores £150m contract to help Student Loan Company overcome its IT problems 5 years after £50m superfail

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Trollface

What makes you think that's the final cost?

Change requests...

At least Widow Dido isn't in charge. She'd spend billions... and spunk graduates' personal details across the internet.

Huawei wins big intellectual property case in Europe – against fashion house Chanel

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Trollface

Dihydrogen monoxide moisturiser...

... activated by 5G.

Won't somebody please think of the children!!! UK to mount fresh assault on end-to-end encryption in Facebook

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In my household she's just another Tory MP...

Who has earned the epithet "The disgraced former minister"...

Planned to funnel UK aid to the Israeli army? Found to have repeatedly bullied colleagues?

I bet she uses encryption... is she a paedophile?

Oracle cuts support for South African energy biz Eskom in long-running licensing dispute

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FAIL

Sounds like a shakedown to me....

"Important infrastructure you have there... by the way, you owe us $500m"

"No we don't "

"OK, make it $40m."

"No."

"Ok, $28m, final offer. Pay up or we cancel support"

The court case really should be "Oracle fraudulently try to bill $470m they accept they aren't owed."

Pigeon fanciers in a flap over Brexit quarantine flock-up, seek exemption from EU laws

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Re: Hawk-ward?

Bustard, beat me to it...

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Facepalm

But we took back control of our waters...

So now we haz all the fish.

Except we don't because part of the deal was that EU boats can still fish in our waters. And land their catch in the EU so they avoid the paperwork "our" fish require if they are to be exported to the EU fish markets.

Got to admire Boris's ingenuity using EU trawlers to export our fish to the EU bypassing customs checks.

Spy agency GCHQ told me Gmail's more secure than Microsoft 365, insists British MP as facepalming security bods tell him to zip it

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Trollface

Surely it's Huawei's fault...

Did he borrow Bozza's Huawei phone to access his gmail account?

We have never given census data to anyone – not even the spy agencies, says the UK's Office for National Statistics

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Alien

As a Jedi* I'm in two minds about this

In the 2001 census there were 14 Sith Lords running around in Scotland. We need to know who they are!

* Like my father before me.

‘Can COVID-19 vaccines connect me to the internet?’

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Windows

Village idiot syndrome...

Might have worked pre-internet, when village idiots were effectively isolated but that all changed with the internet.

I believe they use Facebook to find each other these days.

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Trollface

Re: Future Hell

Don't dismiss it. I watched a documentary about a cyborg sent back in time to do some serious paradoxing... it was connected to something called Skynet.

Hope it got a better broadband connection than I do from Sky.

What's this about a muon experiment potentially upending Standard Model of physics? We speak to one of the scientists involved

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Simulation...

We're getting close to the current granularity of the simulation. They probably added some RAM and made a few tweaks to keep it going a bit longer.

British gambling giant Betfred told to pay stiffed winner £1.7m jackpot after claiming 'software problem'

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Failure? Intended?

Trump's casino failures are often used to point out that he must be a really bad businessman.

Until you factor in money laundering and tax relief, at which point you can see why they were intended to fail.

Allegedly...

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It should have been good advertising...

Grin through clenched teeth, congratulate the lucky punter, use it as an example to encourage others - "Bet with us, you too could become a millionaire!"

Then turn on your suppliers, get the code fixed, get damages to compensate for wonky software and slap the NDA on them.

NASA's Perseverance rover in brick form: China set vs unofficial Lego fan design

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Trollface

I believe the correct trigger is...

"I bet their fun at parties"

Cryptic US Strategic Command tweet reveals dangers of working from home with kids in the way

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Holmes

It's a trap!

Who would follow the Twitter feed? Spies, that's who.

That tweet was obviously a password "typed into the wrong window" ;)

Now they sit back and see who tries to use it...

Deloitte settled HPE's Autonomy lawsuit for $45m back in 2016 and agreed to cooperate with US DoJ

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One question...

Several answers.

Deloitte's dodgy accounts don't explain why due diligence wasn't completed, and indeed how the unfavourable preliminary was ignored. HP is buying a smokescreen "the accounts were wrong, we were misled". How true this is, and indeed how much the incorrect accounts were responsible for a multi billion over evaluation are moot points. Though if it were true maybe HP wouldn't have settled for 45M...

HP are also buying dirt on Lynch "sèe, even the auditors say he's a cheat".

Finally, it's an easy win. Deloitte want to sweep it under the carpet coz it makes them look bad. And HP don't want to put Deloitte on the hook for billions, coz then they'd come out fighting and point out a few home truths HP wouldn't like.

Divide and conquer. Deloitte are already done with...

Don't think Lynch will get the "here's some cash, but I don't admit to doing anything wrong " option.

US govt indicted me because I make privacy tools, says crypto-chat app CEO accused of helping drug smugglers

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Know your customer

"Are you a drug dealer?"

"No"

"OK, here's your phone... wanna buy some guns to go with that weapons grade crypto?"

How Facebook uses public videos to train, deploy machine-learning models and harvest those eyeballs

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Alien

Meteorites

Best use I've seen of doorbell cameras is night sky monitoring and ufo tracking.

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Trollface

The gateway to Wurzel porn...

You start off innocently looking at tractor photos, then the AI suggests combines...

Google emits data-leaking proof-of-concept Spectre exploit for Intel CPUs to really get everyone's attention

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Trollface

Re: Precision timer?

How else am I going to get accurate performance stats on the crypto miners I'm running on your machine?

UK to introduce new laws and a code of practice for police wanting to rifle through mobile phone messages

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Trollface

Only the guilty would refuse...

If you've done nothing wrong you dont need to worry.

What are you trying to hide, citizen?

Hero to Jezero: Perseverance, NASA's most advanced geologist rover, lands on Mars, beams back first pics

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Alien

Fits the evidence...

Explains the decline in the UK's hedgehog population if they are all jaunting off to explore Mars...

Transcribe-my-thoughts app would prevent everyone knowing what I actually said during meetings

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Pint

Might have been influenced by my lunchtime cider*...

But I enjoyed the "intro".

* It's Friday, I'm working from home. Don't judge me!

Chaos is good for you, says first 'state of chaos engineering' report

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FAIL

It used to be called "testing"

I suppose "tester" doesn't sound sexy enough compared to "chaos engineer".

Just more bullshit bingo.

Like every time Bozza calls schools safe but "vectors for transmission "... you just know he's thinking "Fucking look at me, using words like vector, I'm so clever".

If you want to leg it through China's Great Firewall, don't forget to pull on your newly darned Shadowsocks

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Coat

It's a sewing race

Darn your socks... patch the wall.

Mine's the one with a ball of wool in the pocket.

We regret to inform you the professor teaching your online course is already dead

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Maybe I was too literal...

I think we can agree that there are some excellent lecturers and some not so good. So when I said Prof Top Expert I meant the one who gave the best lectures.

If they are all being delivered online then why should one student shell out the same amount for lectures of lesser quality?

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Headmaster

And get a better education...

Students are getting their lectures online, so why do they have to get them from second rate lecturers in second rate universities even though they still have to shell out the same 9 grand that students at the top universities pay for first rate online lectures?

Instead, why can't they all log in to Prof Top Expert's lectures?

Top engineer who stole trade secrets from Google's self-driving division pardoned on Trump's last day as president

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Follow the money...

There's a simple reason why rich people and friends of rich people can get pardons.

Here's a clue:

"Paid a significant price" = contributed heavily to Trump's coffers.

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Trump knew Ghislaine...

"I have met her numerous times over the years... I wish her well."

But not well enough to give her a pardon.

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