Posts by You aint sin me, roit

UK govt promises to sink billions into electronic health records for England

Re: @cantankerous swineherd

I dunno... I bet a fair few are masons...

Smart homes are hackable homes if not equipped with updated, supported tech

Re: Promotion

Only if you get to discontinue support...

Indian authorities issue conflicting advice about biometric ID card security

Cutting costs

When I was working on similar cards a decade ago it was a design requiment that it's not secure... most terminals/readers out in the countryside couldn't support the security, the costs were prohibitive.

The cards might have been a glimpse of a utopian future but in reality were just "papers". If a little more durable.

New York City rips out last city-owned public payphones

Re: The past is a foreign country...

Bill and Ted used a pay phone to get there.

And the future...

Failed gambler? How about an algorithm that predicts the future

Re: The Consultancy Horizon...

I saw a documentary about that.

Once the horizon had been crossed someone tried to pull the plug... and that's how we ended up with terminators running around in California!

Tech pros warn EU 'data adequacy' at risk if Brexit Britain goes its own way

Re: Misdirection... it's worse than that...

It's about privatizing the NHS.

No self-respecting US company would accept a deal without all those juicy patient details.

Confirmation dialog Groundhog Day: I click OK and it keeps coming back

Re: Standup

And who's going to get it out...

Mine's the one... well, it's a bit obvious...

Elon Musk puts Twitter deal on hold over bot numbers claim

Due diligence...

Maybe he should have thought about it before buying 9% on the quiet. Or making an offer to buy the company.

Though he must have had some idea, because getting rid of the bots was one of his "reasons" for taking Twitter private.

Or is it just a smokescreen because he's feeling a little over-exposed?

BOFH: You'll have to really trust me on this team-building exercise

Re: Ahh, Team building/break the ice exercises....

Takes me back 30 years...

"Welcome to your teambuilding course, for this is YOUR course..."

Hearts sank, morale instantly deflated.

After a morning of team games he corners me during lunch... "I couldn't help noticing how well you got on with your team mates."

"We've all met before", I reply.

"But the teams were made up from different departments."

"Yes, but we all go to the same pub at lunchtime", say I, with the clear subtext that the pub is where real teambuilding gets done.

And where I'd rather be.

IBM's autonomous Mayflower ship breaks down in second transatlantic attempt

Maintenance droids...

I saw a documentary about one. It even worked in space stuck out the back of a starfighter

Look what we caught while out fishing!

Nice boat you've got there IBM, it would be a pity if something happened to it...

US judge dismisses Republican efforts to block release of Salesforce emails

Re: One option

Then employ good old Republican patriotic pleas... "Hey, Putin, maybe you can help find those emails".

And casually mention that Trump is running a child-trafficking ring from the basement of a pizza parlour...

I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

BOFH: Something's consuming 40% of UPS capacity – and it's coming from the beancounters' office

BOFH with Hans Gruber aspirations?

We all know why he wants power to the building cut...

Unable to write 'Amusing Weekly Column'. Abort, Retry, Fail?

I like to use "Unspecified error"

I know what it is, so it isn't unknown, but I'm not telling, because it's bad.

In fact you really, really don't want to know how bad it is. No point upsetting the user...

China's top tech city Shenzhen locks down completely for at least a week

Dispatch Dido?

Can't happen soon enough...

JPMorgan Chase readies for post-quantum security world

Re: One Smart Cookie

I don't believe JPMorgan Chase are groundbreakers in PQC.

Certainly not to the extent that they deserved this article-long advert.

And any article on QKD is perverse not to mention Chinese efforts: 2000km fibre key distribution, satellites used to transfer keys (intercontinental).

Not seeking, choosing

NIST ran their usual crypto competition for PQC algorithms and are busily selecting their faves. There are already trials for so-called hybrid schemes for TLS.

Though it is still a moot point when a powerful enough quantum computer will be built That troubles current crypto, or even if one can ever be (the number of error correction qubits would appear to increase exponentially...).

We get the privacy we deserve from our behavior

Re: confused

Also, the first five paragraphs seemed to have very little to do with the subject. A niche example of my employer being careless with data being conflated to me exhibiting insecure behaviour...

Ok, I'm an employee, my employer knows things about me. How does that affect my right to privacy? How does any of that have any bearing on my personal life when I'm not at work? It's the employer's duty to safeguard the personal information they do have, so how is that relevant to me not getting the privacy I deserve?

In any case, instead of giving up on privacy because users might be a bit leaky (!), why not expect corporations to provide the basics of security? For instance the reluctance to use multi-factor authentication is not down to the users, it's the fault of the plethora of sites that don't even offer it!

I'd expect better aspirations from a graduate of cyber security and computer forensics.

Working in Arm's engineering team? You're probably happy with your pay rise

Re: "our people are core to our success"

The point is that Arm have been losing engineers and it is hard to replace them, so they need to pay (above) the going rate.

Security guards are fundamentally important but are easily replaced.

Likewise support staff.

I find it interesting that the research teams get less than the engineers, probably reflecting the notion that they have a really "cool" role and so are less inclined to jump ship.

Something 4,000 light years away emitted strange radio bursts. This is where we talk to scientists for actual info

When your civilization reaches a certain stage...

You build radar systems out of captured magnetars. Spin it up to generate the radio luminosity and then precess it to sweep out across the stars...

Or it might just be radiation from a rotating death star's reactor exhaust vent.

The astro equivalent of a blinking light on a motorway cone.

Infosec chap: I found a way to hijack your web accounts, turn on your webcam from Safari – and Apple gave me $100k

Do ShareBears shit in the woods?

The implication is that nobody thought "What could possibly go wrong if I automatically sync a file without any checks?".

And that is a naive approach to programming, particularly when messing with code that has such security implications.

James Webb Space Telescope has arrived at its new home – an orbit almost a million miles from Earth

At least they had the grace to correct it

First sentence of the report in the Guardian

"The world's largest and most powerful space telescope..."

With a note at the end acknowledging the correction.

It's possible that the error was the fault of the original source, it's an Associated Press report.

Joint European Torus celebrates 100,000 pulses: Neither Brexit nor middle age has stopped '80s era experiment

You appear to be dribbling...

"Entirely analogous"? These words do not mean what you think they mean.

Nobody is trying to sell the JET by saying it hasn't done many pulses.

Web daddy Tim Berners-Lee on privacy, data sharing, and the web's future

Dumb-ass? Or just not bothered?

Users will inevitably be told of the "advantages" of making all that data available, just like they already are by bookface, Amazon, Google, .... People already believe tailored ads are a good thing!

Facebook will default to "share all pod data" with such a complex interface for selectively denying access that most people will take one look and think "fuck it" and click on OK.

Put all your eggs in one basket, sit back and let Facebook make omelettes for you.

I own that $4.5bn of digi-dosh so rewrite your blockchain and give it to me, Craig Wright tells Bitcoin SV devs

Just nuke the originals...

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die.

And this time I won't tell you my plan beforehand just in case you manage to escape.

But seeing as you asked, and I'm a megalomaniac who just can't resist spilling the beans... I'm going to crash the value of Bitcoin by threatening to bring the original Satoshi stash to the market. I'll buy up on the cheap and then announce that I've destroyed the key to the stash, driving the price up again! And there's nothing you can do to stop me!

COVID-19 was a generational opportunity for change at work – and corporate blew it

Re: Sorry, no.

Indeed, and I'd go further...

Someone might want to have a quick chat so I can solve their problem, I might not appreciate the interruption to my work.

We use an internal chat system. You can ask me your question, I can look at it and decide when I want to answer, without dropping what I'm doing for a less immediate issue. And we have found this essential to manage interactions between team members strung across multiple time zones and continents, where there is no possibility for a chance meeting in the coffee room.

US-China chip cold war? It's only helping the Middle Kingdom, silicon makers warn

Hacking the world since 1998?

So they are Johnny-come-latelys...

Russia starts playing by the rules: FSB busts 14 REvil ransomware suspects

I thought REvil were part of FSB

Or at least sponsored by them.

With enhanced plausible deniability now we have vids of "raids"...

European Space Agency: Come on, hack our satellite if you think you're hard enough

If you're truly l33t...

You'll land it in the neighbour's garden.

Perseverance on the rocks: Pebbles clog up the rover's Martian sample collection

Environmental impact form...

Might have stopped you destroying the Mysteron base!

Apple quietly deletes details of derided CSAM scanning tech from its Child Safety page without explanation

Re: Peeping Toms

Big Brother AI stitch up...

"This is the photo you wanted to take"

And if they don't like you, followed by

"A recent search of your private photos found unapproved images. The Authorities have been notified."

Mars helicopter mission (which Apache says is powered byLog4j) overcomes separate network glitch to confirm new flight record

IoT always the weakest link in the network....

The 50 million mile air gap means nothing, earthling. All your networks are ours!

OK, boomer? Gen-X-ers, elder millennials most likely to name their cars, says DVLA

Nice bit of social engineering...

I wonder how many passwords now need to be changed...

Assange extradition case goes to UK Home Secretary as High Court rules he can be sent to US for trial

Missing the point

This trial was about whether there were grounds to extradite him, not whether he's guilty.

Obviously it's in his favour to conflate the two, but he will get his day in court to answer the charges against him.

It's not a threat to democracy that a journalist can face charges - as long as he gets a fair trial.

Playing jigsaw on my roof: They can ID you from your hygiene habits

No industrial metal...

The lack of metal is so you don't know whether Dabbsy is in the shower.

Though Kula Shakar is so niche you could probably find out the brand of shampoo he uses. My money is on Timotei with chamomile extract.

Sherlock, cos he didn't need to use satellite imaging.

Ubiquiti dev charged with knocking $4bn off firm's value after insider threat spree

Word to the wise...

When extorting people don't rely on the security of a Surfshark VPN, apparently it has a habit of dropping out revealing your true IP address...

I wonder what this will do to their share price.... oooo look, 83% off VPN deal ;)

Alibaba exec accused of mishandling sexual assault case wants alleged victim to apologise

It's a response to victim blaming

Don't get drunk, don't go there, don't wear that, make sure your drink wasn't spiked, don't walk home alone... take self-defence lessons...

But never don't rape women, dont spike drinks, don't take advantage of drunk women. It should go without saying, but because these things happen maybe it does need to be said. It's a topsy turvy world where the cause is never addressed, only precautions that the victim should have taken.

Nobody is saying that women shouldn't use common sense, but if a colleague had too much to drink I'd like to think I'd help them get home and not see it as an opportunity for sex.

Not commenting on this particular case, I don't know what happened there, just in general.

UK Space Agency wants primary school kids to design a logo for first Brit launches

The Man in the Moon

Aka Spacey McSpaceface.

Mine's the one with the autonomous underwater vehicle in the pocket ->

BOFH: What if International Bad Actors designed the vaccine to make us watch more Steven Seagal movies?

Re: circular history

Nanobots were invented ages ago!

You'd remember this if they weren't interfering with your memory.

Turn off, tune out, and reject your nanobot controllers!

The Arnie dream was different...

It was about when we terraformed Mars. The nanobots are now hiding the existence of the Martian colony so only members of the illuminati can go there. That's why Elon's Mars trip will fail, they don't want riff raff space tourists spoiling the vistas.

I know this because I took the red pill.

And I know it was the red one because I've strapped strong magnets to my head under my lead lined tinfoil hat. And magnets discharge nanobot batteries, everybody knows that!

Huawei's AppGallery riddled with malware-infected games

They should do an Apple...

Sue those naughty app developers!

Theranos' Holmes admits she slapped Big Pharma logos on lab reports to boost her biz

Patent

According to the more detailed report on Ars they did file for a patent on the mods and requested that the filing be kept confidential.

No doubt to hide it from Siemens lawyers...

The "Trades secrets" aspect was her excuse for not telling investors.

Admission of guilt...

Framed as an admission of innocence: "It never occurred to me that it was wrong, I was only trying to be nice" said the attractive, young, blond lady who obviously would never defraud anyone...

Hopefully the jury won't see it quite like that.

Paris, obviously, because if cross questioning gets mean there will be tears... "nasty man made me do it".

Reverse engineered?

So Theranos took Siemens kit and "modified" it to require a smaller sample... and then patented their mods!!! (I apologize for the excess of exclamation but serious, wtf?)

And kept it secret... because they were worried Siemens would reverse engineer the mods?!

And they thought this was ok?

Imagine the uproar if Huawei had been caught doing something similar (probably don't have to imagine it, remember Tappy...).

The only reason why Siemens' lawyers aren't straining at the leash is because there's no cash left.

Apple sues 'amoral 21st century mercenaries' NSO for infecting iPhones with Pegasus spyware

Re: A bit Streisand...

I won't indulge in willy waving technical credentials, in any case you missed the point.

Apple Marketing: Our phones are secure, we put your privacy first, our walled garden secures your phone, you don't get malware on Apple products.

Apple Developers: That's the idea but we're not there, people keep finding vulnerabilities. We're playing catch-up.

Apple Legal: We'll sue anyone exploiting vulnerabilities (that they found in our code).

The legal team is highlighting the "over exuberant" nature of the marketing claims.

Also, for the non-technically minded, if I don't lock my door and you steal my stuff, while it's still a crime my insurance won't pay out.

A bit Streisand...

"Yes, our phones aren't secure, but it's really, really mean of you to exploit it"

Crypto for cryptographers! Infosec types revolt against use of ancient abbreviation by Bitcoin and NFT devotees

Disappointing lack of enthusiasm...

For burning heretics. How else are we going to purge the system?

China trying to export its Great Firewall and governance model

Restrict Chinese data from going offshore?

China might be deplorable in any number of ways, but restricting movement of personal data isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Most nations try to control access to data. GDPR places restrictions on the movement of personal data, is the EU trying to "control the internet within its borders"?

China's attitude is arguably better than that of the US seeking to control the internet outside its borders... "All your data belongs to us!"

Amazon tells folks it will stop accepting UK Visa credit cards via weird empty email

Unless...

You only use your new Amazon card for Amazon purchases - they already know all about them - and use another card for other purchases!

I know! It's so simple it might just work!!!!

Even better: Amazon card for Amazon purchases; another card for all other online purchases; a third for in person purchases.

All credit cards, for consumer protection. All paid off each month making interest rates irrelevant.