Posts by Neanderthal Man

Google-backed British startup ‘stole our code’, says US marketing firm

Re: Now we just fling Ads

Human race devolve back to crap-flinging monkeys. Pretty soon I be smartest guy on planet, just like "Idiocracy".

London cops hunt chimpanzee in top hat

Re: Apes

"they do understand the distinction between apes and monkeys"

Not understand that in stone age cause many evolutionary dead end.

Amazon douses flames, vows to restore Fire OS fondleslab encryption

Re: ROT13

Enybody notice ROT spell backward is TOR.

Google robo-car backs into bendy-bus in California

Re: Bus vs. meat bag

"I think the bus drivers figure being big gives them automatic right-of-way and FA who get in the way."

I suggest new strategy. Let wookie win.

Samsung off the hook as $120m Apple patent verdict tossed

Re: hold on..

"What! The cavemen did it counts as prior art Since when did that happen?"

Since caveman did it. DUH!

California methane well leak filled a Rose Bowl a day

Re: New Wembley, of course.

"an Imperial Wembley sounds like a 1960s sports car."

No, you thinking of Wembley Imperial.

Me put foil back on head now.

Phorm suspends its shares from trading amid funding scrabble

Re: :)

Hopefully, Phorm evaporate and become Phorm-less...

Mine the one with radio made from bearskins and stone knives in pocket.

Sub-atomic boffins glimpse four-pack tetraquark

Re: Holy underpants

"Damn. The underpants don't stand a chance."

That why I go commando....

Standing desks have no effect on productivity, boffins find

Stupid study

Improved health =\= improved productivity. Even me get that. This study as stupid as study effects of baseball game on duckweed growth.

I go now, finish eating organic dead meat I beat to death with stick.

Reminder: How to get a grip on your files, data that Windows 10 phones home to Microsoft

Re: Missing option?

Me not understand. Who is Extra Special Moron?

Intelligent Energy secures $7.5m to develop smartphone fuel cell

"What could possibly go wrong?"

Some of them survive, propagate inferior genes.

No tit for tat, or should that be tat for tit ... Women selling stuff on eBay get lower bids

Janet move in with me. Brad even bigger asshole than any neanderthal

The paperless office? Don’t talk sheet

Re: I'll see your dot matrix

"And don't get me started on that chap in the Forum with his granite, mallet and chisel."

Ooh, sound kinky. Butt that not me - need at least Bronze age for chisel. I Paleolithic - *very* Old Skool.

Loved one just died? Pah, that's nothing

Re: Sweet lord I weep for our society

That nothing. You got any idea how long it take cave painting to dry?

Wi-Fi banana all grown up, now a suit-wearing enterprise wall slab

Re: Time flies like an arrow.

Time flies like wind.

Fruit flies like pears.

'Hobbit' heads aren't human says bone boffin

Re: Ooh, look ... a grammar Neanderthal.

HEY! THAT NOT NICE! Neanderthals smart, have bigger brainpan than silly "modern humans". We so smart we make space shuttle 40,000 years before you. We not know how make fire so it never launch - it slowly rust until it fall over one day, kill everyone.

Depressed? Desperate for a ciggie? Blame the Neanderthals

Re: Is Assange a Neanderthal

Thag Cholomondley-Warner got tree knocked up, never did get all splinters out. This origin of phrase 'getting wood'.

We die out 'cause we follow step 10 in dating guide URL below - all fires go out at same time on windy day.

Re: Is Assange a Neanderthal

HEY! NO BLAME US FOR HIM! Shag unconscious women not thing we do. After everyone eat Grog Root around fire, *nobody* remember who we shag (or what).

Shit! Me do everything wrong.

Can't make fire, can't walk upright, can't get date. No wonder I depressed and want smoke!

Sure, blame extinct guy

Bad enough me can't make fire, bad enough me can't walk upright. Now I fault for modern problems? Maybe it *you* fault for sit on ass all day! OK, you mad 'cause I shag your sister. It not my fault she look hot in leopard skin bikini!