Posts by Matt Eagles

Obama embarks on car emissions cutback

The good old days

I used to like those old articles on El Reg, written by economists, saying how cutting emissions would stuff the economy. Now it seems economists have stuffed the economy themselves so we may as well cut emissions it seems.

Eurofighter Tranche 3: Oh please, God, no

@AC 18:11

I was after "insight and information" I don't think paraphrasing wikipedia counts as either does it?

No mention of the flight limitations? Not quoting a cost for developing and using the new buoy types that these flight limitations will require? How about rapidly delivering buoys and torps from 10,000 feet? Nothing really interesting then, just the original press releases, again.

That rant again?

Boy I'm I bored of this article getting reprinted. Any chance of something interesting or insightful?

I know Lewis believes that the US military do everything better than everyone else so here's an idea for his next article:

We all know what Lewis thinks of the Nimord replacement aircraft, MRA4. Perhaps rather than rehashing this old tripe again he can compare and contrast the US project to replace their P3 aircraft with a new Naval patrol aircraft?

I'd be interested to see if we can get insight and information rather than a polemic peppered with numbers from press releases.

Pirate-pursuing lawyers get DDo$ money transfer slap

Anyone for growing up?

Eq, I checked and my 5 year old son thinks this is stupid. So rather than childish we'll just call this a Freetard Fit.

Judges rap police over raid on paedo expert

Reading between thin blue lines.

"Reading between the lines, it appears that the legal profession is now very wary of him"

Reading between the lines? He'd been convicted of lying to a court about his professional qualifications. The same qualifications that established his expertise as a professional witness.

I'm pretty sure few barristers would look forward to annoucing to a judge "And my next witness doesn't have any actual qualifications but does have a recent conviction for lying in court"

Having said that he did know his stuff and successfully hurled spanners into the works of Op Ore. As the old saying goes "Hell hath no fury like the CID scorned"

UK.gov denies 'Google tax' plan

You couldn't make it up and yet they do.

The Mail seem to have collected some rent-a-quotes from MPs and Google PR but fail to actually say where this idea comes from. The fevoured mind of one of their hacks seems most likely. I seem to remember them hammering the BBC pretty hard over single sourced stories (Gilligan et al) but they seem pretty happy to print no source stories themselves.

Google name 'worth $100 billion,' says Strategy Boutique

Codswallowing brand values

Attaching a value to your brand name is pretty common practice. Most major corporations will have a "Good Will" factor in their accounts which is designed to represent the added value their name and reputation adds to the company. A common example is the extra sales generated by having Coca Cola on the cans rather than virgin cola for example. These two products are virtually the same but the huge difference in sales can, in part, be put down to the Coca Cola brand. Therefore the team of accountants will have had a go at working out how much extra money Google will generate by virtue of it's name. Given that Google has become a byword for searching the internet I'd expect a very big number.

It's amazing what you can learn when you walk down the corridor from the IT dept and talk to someone in a different dept for a bit. I'd recommend it.

Music industry sites DDoSed after Pirate Bay verdict

Toys. Cot. Throw.

So having failed to get their own way (demanding other peoples things free) they throw a tantrum. The Freetards have always seemed pretty much like spoilt toddlers, this only really confirms it.

eBay looks to flog useless stuff

Private sector, the last hiding place of the incompetent?

As Lewis Page likes to point out the public sector doesn't always spend money in an efficient or well planned manner. However having watched the banks evaporate and magnificently stupid shopping trips like this from ebay I feel rather happy my taxes are being managed by the slightly blundering civil service rather than the plainly batshit crazy private sector.

Advertising watchdog okays 'gaming equals early grave' ad

Is lobbying fattening?

I notice that whilst playing computer games appears to kill; fatty, sugary food is not mentioned. I wonder if this is because the Change 4 Life campaign is sponsered to the tune of £200M by Business 4 Life? B4L is a lobbying group including Nestle, Cadbury, Coca-Cola, Kellogg's, and Pepsi Co. All well know for the massive contribution they make to the countries health. Playstation must be kicking themselves for not getting in on the act.

Doc-in-chief targets 'passive drinking' with price hike

@Tim Spence

Are you so utterly self absorbed that you imagine that you and your friends represent the majority of the UK?

On a secondary note places that would definately suffer from a potential price increase on alcohol per unit would be military messes, where squaddies can blow off steam at around £1 a pint; and the Houses of Parliament, where some MPs chug down their weekly 21 units inbetween voting, at a discount price.

Screeching rails close London Tube station

How bad can it be?

"How bad can it possibly be to disrupt thousands of people on their way home during rush hour?" Asked the angry city jerk.

I wonder if it drifted into his mind that unlubricated and unmaintained tracks might have consequences such as derailments and crashes, which would tend to make you very late indeed.

US cops called to McDonalds menu cock-up

Call the cops....

To be fair if McDonalds had just taken my money, not given me any food and then refused to give me my money back I'd feel like I'd been robbed as well. Although isn't traditional American way with this sort of dispute was to sue for emotional distress, rather than call the police out?

Brits 'a bunch of yellow bastards', says irate Yank

Cowards?

I personally fight off the wave after wave of muggers, house invaders and terrorists with my bare hands or a rolled up copy of the FT. The UK decided to give up it's handguns as they took the challenges out of everyday life.

Tories choose sub-prime beard for maths post

Political thinking.

Not very surprising to see that a chap whose only slightly successful job was in PR (he also was econonic adviser to Norman Lamont, so best keep him away from the Treasury) thinks we can solve skills shortages with a bit of celebrity gloss.

Birmingham drops the possessive apostrophe

Brand news

This is hardly new, I lived in sunny Brum back in the 1990's and "Browns Green" was unapostrophed near my old digs. That sign itself was a fine bit of cast iron that I guess was pretty old even then. Possessive apostrophes surely only work in the case of possession, as the council point out this is redundant in the current case with much of Brum's place names. We should demand all place names ending with an old English possesive term to have an apostrophe put back, Bols'ton, Brixs'ton, Brents'ford, Greens'ford. Or we could just accept that the language changes and stop being pedantic jerks.

Retired army generals: Spend Trident money on the army

So many scenarios....

I rather liked Lewis' article on the many fantasies that would make an SSBN really useful, they are however fevered speculation to try and prove a weak point. I mean, would France really not be bothered by a nuclear strike on a country 30 miles away as Lewis suggests? And who is the mystery nation with nuclear weapons and ICBMs who is out to get us? Given that the UK is part of NATO and the EU and ideologically aligned to most of the members of the groups which nation would single us out for a nuclear strike ignoring our many allies?

The counter argument tends to run "You never know what might happen in the future, so lets tool up" This arguement is as pointless as it sounds. If you can't divine the future what makes you think sub launched nuclear weapons are a solution? Perhaps the next threat to humanity is an epidemic, bet you'd wish you'd spent those billions on improving hospitals and science education (which would have a benefit anyway unlike an unused SSBN).

Also @bazza, India first tested in 1974 and Pakistan 10ish years later, that didn't stop them fighting directly or indirectly much of the time since. In fact nuclear armed countries seem to get into wars as often as non nuclear ones do. What's the point of a deterent that doesn't actually deter aggressors? I notice Gen. Galtieri didn't seem bothered by the nuclear deterent and his troops had to be removed from the Falklands the traditional way.

Maybe we could spend the Trident replacement money on some of those Chinooks Lewis seems so keen on?

What the Freetard Photo book tells us

Art for Arse Sake.

What was that all about? A portrait project features some feeble pictures, like a big chunk of the copyrighted coffee table offerings then. Art is only any good if it "ships"? If you don't sell your art then you are a worthless jerk?

I agree that copyright is a good idea to protect people who's work is less tangible than salaried or by unit payed workers, but could someone less condescending and insulting make that point.

Indulge your fecal fantasies with a doll that craps

A doll what shits itself

Wasn't Danny's business partner, Presuming Ed, in "Withnail and I" working on the prototype in 1969? Clearly a technology that has spend a long time in the pipeline.

Hutton robs forces, pours MoD cash into UK arms biz

A couple of quick points....

Lewis paints a beautiful picture of the all powerful carrier battle group. However they are a bit useless if you are attacking a landlocked country (Like Afganistan for example) or a country with little coast line where most of the action is far inland (Like Iraq perhaps). But if we ensure we only get into fights with smallish (carrier aircraft tend to be short range) countries with extensive costlines we should be fine.

As far as the carriers costs increasing if they are delayed I'm struggling to see why (beyond inflation). Projects that are delayed and cost much more do so because that delay time is spent redesigning the project as people try to modify the spec as its built. The delay doesn't cause the extra cost, the reason for the delay will be the cost driver.

And finally, the MRA4 subhunter will be a......subhunter. As the Navy isn't actually equipt to track subs (a bit worrying as subs love big targets like new carriers) the RAF will be doing this still. In it's spare time it's a surveillance aircraft (Visual, radar and sigint); search and rescue aircraft; comms support etc and will be working harder than a carrier fleet waiting for a coastal enemy to attack.

Doctor amputates boy's arm using SMS instructions

MSF

Got to say those Medicin sans frontieres are a brave bunch. Where armed armed peace keepers fear to tread, they show up with only gauze and confidance.

How the gov's child protection database fails to add up

@AC 13:54 GMT

And for you to try out:

Q1. Should knowing nothing about social work or social workers prevent a very long ill informed post?

a. No, a collection of stereotypes and prejudices gathered from the tabloids is a fine substitute for knowledge.

b. See above.

Boffins: global warming kills lemmings, not suicide

@Charles Manning

"The aim of all scientists is to secure funding"

You have a very odd view of what a "Scientist" is or does. Let me guess, they all have white coats, glasses and work in "Labs" doing "Experiments" for no recognisable client or purpose?

I think part of the problem you see is not Scientists offering their hysterics direct to the public, because this doesn't tend to happen. Public preception of science and scientists and much of the research done is from the media. They tend to report either the most sensational (although often not true) elements of a study or marketing press releases dressed up as science (read a "Boffins have discovered the the formula for the perfect something" story recently?). Try www. badscience.net next time you think you see scientists play to the crowd in the tabloids.

Morning voting in America

@chris

Is it a keeness to vote or voting for a Democrat you think is socialism? If voting Democrat is socialism then surely you've had it in the US for ages what with JFK ,Roosevelt etc.

Oxford don offered $10,000 for proof terrorist penned Obama memoir

@AC 02:51 GMT - Typical

I think you'll find that story amply reported in US based political websites. I note with horror that the Drudge Report has nothing on Ubuntu 8.10. Also American Thinker remains silent on the new Intel chips.

I wonder why?

It's a conspiracy I tell you!

Peaches Geldof cops a severe shoeing

Journalism indeed.

"The piece meandered from one vague point to another. Half-stories with no focus and no final point"

There's alot of this about.

The New Green Aristocracy

A bit like debate......

Go on I'll bite. Volcanos you say? The US Geological Survey references T.M. Gerlach with approx. 145-225 million tons of CO2 from volcanos per year. This somewhat less than the 30 billion tons from human activity per year.

http://volcanoes.usgs.gov/hazards/gas/index.php

There you go, I dared. Be as sceptical as you want, ask all the questions you want. Just don't get upset if the answers are not the one's you wanted.

As for Obama Smith and his urge to defend democracy with a military dictatorship (or will it be one of those nice coup d'etats like in the movies?) I'm a bit of a traditionalist and like to think voting is the best way to preserve democracy. His mention of Black shirts and Oswald made me think of Oswald Mosley (leader of the Black Shirts/British Union of Fascists). I therefore assumed he was advocating a fascist uprising. I now suspect it was Lee Oswald he meant, so was in fact advocating murdering democratically elected leaders (and passing policemen?)

So that's alright then. If becoming a terrorist is a rational response to carbon trading to Obama Smith, then definitely double doses of Largactil tonight.

More Politics

Nice to see it's not just economists who think they are climate scientists, politics students are also having a go. Despite the painful writing style I think the message is: "Politicians make political decisions." Brilliant. Any other "experts" with a computer and a penchant for selecting the evidence they like best out there who want a try?

Does this sort of stuff count as debate about climate change? There appears to be two main groups here, scientists and a mixed bag of loons of various shades. The debate isn't between sciencists. It's a shouting match between the loons.

And Obama Smith. Please ask the nurse for two pills instead of one today.

BAE's bandwidth blimp-bot takes off (indoors)

@Geoff Webber

"has nobody thought that something quite large and rather slow would make an easy target for all manner of ordnance."

No Geoff, no one has thought about this until you did just then. BAES clearly need your type insightful mind working for them. Call Steve Chantry, head of the Bleddin' Obvious Dept. at BAES Warton for an interview.

For clarification, it's going to be able to get close to 2km up, and in surveillance mode probably offset by another 5km. Even if you notice this quiet object in the sky, and decide it's watching you, what have you got that will hit it? Even pretty new MANPADs will struggle to get a low signature object like a dirigible.

Gamers cash in on LittleBigPlanet delay

Offending who?

Given American sensitivities to anything faintly Muslim at the moment I'm sure bad sales or a boycott are the major motivator. Just look at the hysterics over the Fisher Price doll who's babbling sounded a bit like Islam.

Also the kind of silliness you get when someone wears an unamerican scarf (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7427206.stm).

And while I'm at it:

"They don't need to play it, they live it, name an impoverished country muslim country which doesn't have radical factions that go around shooting each other because "my faction interprets the Qu'ran differently to yours"?"

As opposed to the UK where this happens between Christians.

Scotland Mountain Rescue turns on Ofcom

A rewrite please

Can we get Tim Worstall to do his version of this article telling us how the market will sort it all out and we are just being silly?

Eye-o-Sauron™ poked out by Great Wall of America

@Michael

"I have half a mind"

That much is obvious.

Erotic artist urges spanking for Jacqui Smith

Law by tabloid

We do seem to keep doing this. A series of tabloid shock horror headlines, followed by a demand that the government does something to stop all this hideousness. Thus we get the Dangerous Dogs Act (Pit bull terrier panic); Criminal Justice Act (parties outdoors, often with drugs); Having information likely to be of use to a terrorist (crap terrorists, but on TV more often); taking your shoes off at airports (Richard Reid); No liquids on flights (Jury still out on TAPT bombers); Suitability checks based on rumour, not convictions (Ian Huntley); The list goes on, but this and prior governments interest in Law by tabloid has created a range of stupidity for the police to enforce.

The problem is that what is printed in the tabloids combines with peoples opinions to create an unholy mass of "public opinion". The only way out of this horror is to never buy the Sun and the Daily Mail ever.

Did we say you can read that?

@Roger Pearse

And not very interesting normal racism from you.

"privileged legal status of those "not quite white" skinned"

Are you deluded enough to really think that non-whites in the UK are the ruling elite? The belief that ethnic minorities have it easier than the white majority is a classic racist screed from the BNP et al.

"I rather resent the fact that I must be subjected to irrelevant and unnecessary harassment in case other members of a privileged racial group responsible for repeated attempts at mass murder feel upset."

What are you on about? Do you imagine that after arresting two "not quite white" studends, the police will roam the streets looking for two white students in order to even things up? What kind of cretin are you?

The point being made was that it is likely to be mostly "not quite white" people being asked to explain their books on physics and biology, not white skinned people.

Windfall taxing big oil: how to make the gas crisis worse

Another one doesn't bite the dust.

Much as I enjoy Mr. Worstall's assaults on the straw men of the environment I'm struggling to spot the target this time. Who, of any vague consequence, is demanding a windfall tax on the energy industries? Apart from a letter published in a newspaper (always a place to find important public policy isn't it?) and a misrepresentation of an Obama policy (Getting polluters to pay for clean up, not an oil windfall tax) I can't spot the straw man this time.

For the next article we could have a savage attack on some chap called Dave I met in a pub once who thought that people should walk rather than drive and the world ending effect that would have on the economy.

Amazon Kindle set to go massive

Always on mobile signal?

Isn't the CDMA technology the stuff off Daily Mail "Books give you cancer" hysterics? I'm sure that the introduction in the the UK will be followed by "Think of children" type madness.

More significantly won't someone think of the librarians? Or could I take my Kindle to the public library, download a copy of a book for free, and then delete it a few weeks later?

Greens: Abandon economic growth to beat CO₂ offshoring

Environmentalists

Why do articles on vaguely green issues bring out the foaming madmen?

I take it the debate on global warming is over as tilting at windmills appears to the order of the day. Rather than look at the real issues and consider solutions, far too tricky, the jerk reaction appears to be invent an enemy (Hippies, lefties, commies, aliens, immigrunts "neo-luddite uber hippies"); invent their position ("log cabin with goose fat lamps and hair shirts, eating lentils"; "19th century standard of living") and then add a demented rant with as many CAPS and variable punctuation as can be added!!!!!!

Celebrity publicist develops mathematical 'fame formula'

Faintly refreshing

At least the PR wonks are admitting they made up the formula rather than shopping around for a Professor in need of a cheque.

The FDRs of Green explain the gentle art of planet saving

@Syskoll

"The sad truth is that very few people on Earth, if any, undestand the complexity of the economy."

Luckily everyone of them posts on The Register and will be adding their comments here.

Paris, because see understands market forces better than most of us.

Tiscali sues BT for 'defamation and falsehood'

To the lawyers....

Did BT get permission to reproduce El Reg material in their marketing/scareware effort? If not I'd suggest joining in the legal party.

EU abolishes the acre

Trivia contest

"Once again this weak Labour Government has meekly given up yet another of Britain's rights to Brussels. They need to think again and insist that we must keep our right to use our ancient traditional measure of land if we wish."

This type of pointlessness from the Tories is the reason we have had this current government for so long.

Jeremy Clarkson tilts at windmills

PC Brigade are at it again.

Once again Clarkson and the PC Brigade are whining about the Government breaching motorist's human rights. The right to drive as fast as you possibly can may well be in the Human Rights Act but that doesn't make it something that right minded individuals in Britain should be doing. As soon as Clarkson and his Leftie cronies are removed from TV the better.

Nike pulls Air Stab trainers

Nike and it's not so clever branding dept.

Didn't Nike have to withdraw it's Zyklon brand after have it was pointed out to them that Zyklon B was the gas used at the Nazi extermination camps?

Qinetiq ships first 'Transformer' war-droid

Loudspeaker

"a loudspeaker for shouting at non-compliant humans"

I can only presume that a loud metallic "You have twenty seconds to comply" has already been tested out, and translated into arabic.

Download al Qaeda manuals from the DoJ, go to prison?

On the bright side

The plus side, for the student at least, is that a potenitally dull thesis can now be pepped up with a first hand account of six days detention by anti-terrrorist police.

Congo lynch mobs attack penis-snatching sorcerers

The amazing shrinking manhood

I believe this is called koro (or kuro) and had it's origins in China (I think) a few thousand years ago at least. The irrational belief that your todger is shrinking, withdrawing into the body or has been stolen. It provides many snigger filled hours of fun for Psychology students, social scientists, gender studies lecturers and news organisations with space to fill.

Lily Allen to judge Orange women's fiction award

@ Sexist

Perhaps the Man Booker Prize is the men only version?

The dust jacket please....

Kiwi boffins prove that booze makes you clever

Other effects of Alcohol to scientifically confirm......

I'm just waiting for experiments that prove that alcohol makes me much funnier and attractive to the opposite sex.

Original thinking in a derivatives market

Finance for geeks

Was it a bit tricky to understand for some people? Sounds like a good oportunity to do a little extra learning for those that care.

As I work in a mostly finance role the language of the article was pretty clear to me, and as a semi geek the IT angle was an excellent primer in how these guys use IT (Monte Carlo analysis has many roles, cost modelling to nuke reasearch).

I personally think this was an excellent Reg article, starting with a global issue and showing the Sci/IT input. Didn't really mention the hideous greed that has fuelled this whole event as much as I would, but seemed pretty good never the less.

Jason Bourne disses James Bond

Bond or Bourne?

Harry Palmer was much better. And probably more fun on a stag weekend.