* Posts by crosenblum

13 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Jan 2016

BOFH: An 'AI PC' for an Acutely Ignorant user


AI is colored pencils!

Or should we call this the Artificial Business Intelligence, where BOFH tries and fails to enhance the intelligence of the Boss, but being a manager, doesn't have much?

I love all this AI vaporware, more ways to get idiots to spend money on stupid stuff.

BOFH: The greatest victory is that which requires no battle


Who knows a future AI Boss could be in play?

Why need an actual physical boss to be annoyed and frustrated when the cold hard boot of reality, (BOFH) conflicts with whatever in trend wild eyed idea the Boss comes up.

Why not replace the BOSS with an AI, that does or does not do things as you program it with?

Why not replace everyone with AI?

AI Employeers, AI Employees, AI Customers...

Then what will all of us do lol?

I think we're getting closer to that one scene in the Wally movie, where humans sit in chairs getting fat, and doing not much of anything.

Personally I loathe AI systems, all they are is much better natural language parsing, but with garbage data, and no real intelligence beyond that.

Is AI, a direction we should be going forward in?

Or is this a real indicator that management and business intelligence has been declining for decades?

May the cattleprods always be charging and used!

BOFH: The new Boss, Aiman, is suspiciously good – for now


Points out that Bosses are AI

In that sense that most are void of any content or anything beyond bodies uttering air.

I think AI is the latest version number for Vaporware, but what is that version number anyhow?

Our mental cattle prods are charging, with usb-c no less.

BOFH: Just because we've had record revenues doesn't mean you get a Xmas bonus


George Santayana!

I just loved that quote reference.

Meaning if they fail to learn their lessons, they will be repeated again and again.

Almost like a power cycling of a pc.

Let the cattle prods be chargin!

BOFH: A security issue, you say? Activate code tangerine


BOFH has been going on 25 years....

Thank you Simon and BOFH, and PFY for making our fridays better and more tolerable.

I know that it is less than easy to put in that effort every week, then every other week.

I know someday this will be gone, but til then my Cattle Prod is raised in salute to you!

BOFH: Lies, damned lies, and standards


Boss didn't like their tone?

Yay, Friday BOFH is here!

I am surprised by the lack of Zrrrt sounds, or the lack of lime and halon usage.

BOFH: The PFY has won an award … for outstanding service?


Use Eliza or Animal AI!

I think it's best to use a more powerful tool in answering questions we are expected to answer.

But with the id10t users, comprehension levels, and lack of details they never provide, I think it's best to pass it off, to Eliza or Animal.

Does it have two legs?

What does that to do with my network problems?

So it has 4 legs?

Stop asking dumb questions!

Is it the color brown?


BOFH: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.


You always need a mallet...

Especially the one, where it doesn't show the damage it creates.

Perhaps an electircally charged one.

Thank you for a great Friday morning.

Always gives me a smile and a minute of peace vs the chaos of idiots and managers.

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back


Green Pill for me...

Or as some call it the Beer Pill :)

BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it


Bosses need to be tracked.....

For performance issues...clearly...:

I mean to track them, to make sure they're no where near you,

and using something like IFTTT to send them a message, to get them

to go back to their offices for some random reason.

Just like there is a BOFH Excuse Generator, there should be an

"Get Boss to Go Away Message Generator"...

Any ideas or suggestions?

BOFH: Sure, I could make your cheapo printer perform miracles



Finally a new BOFH post.

I agree Simon was much, much too patient with that luser, i mean clueless user, I mean idiot who wouldn't hang up :P

After all isn't that the true goal of every customer service in any industry?

Get them to stop calling, and hang up faster?

Time to charge up the Catltle Prod's!!!!!!

BOFH: In-depth IT training needs a single-malt distillery


The Bofh Archives are down!!

Try to go to any of the original site with has the first issues of BOFH and they are all down.


Is there a different domain/ip address to access the original stories?


Another Friday, Another BOFH!!

Woah, it's like a bit of euphoria, been so long.

I need, and I mean need my BOFH fix.

Junket's are important, and the battles are too.

But I miss the Dr. Bastard Lab episodes, the Cattleprod and lime, and carpet roll ups.

Those are just classics.

I don't drink beer, but this root beer is for all of you!!