* Posts by Ali Um Bongo

77 publicly visible posts • joined 23 Jan 2016


'Kalamazoo killer' gave Uber rides in between shooting six dead

Ali Um Bongo

We have reached out to the police...

Where's that Four Tops graphic?

Bug bounty hunters score big dollars and the boom's only just begun

Ali Um Bongo

Found One!

*...Shah says. "They like legit despised me for ages."...*

I'm pretty sure there's an English Language Vulnerability in that sentence.

Linux Mint forums hacked: All users urged to reset passwords

Ali Um Bongo

Security? We've heard of it!

I signed up for their Cinnamon Spices extensions & themes site: http://cinnamon-spices.linuxmint.com earlier today and got confirmation of my account, complete with login details, including password, sent out via email.

No tit for tat, or should that be tat for tit ... Women selling stuff on eBay get lower bids

Ali Um Bongo

Cuts Both Ways

*"...Be interesting to see what happened to the eBay prices if the seller posted their "own" photo alongside the listing..."*

Oh. That happens quite a lot. It's not unusual to see "gorgeous pouting models" [or "duck-face selfies", if you're feeling uncharitable] in the photos where clothing is being sold. I've quite often seen even men's gear like combat jackets being modelled by bright young things, apparently topless under the item in question and showing a fair bit of thigh or cleavage.

Given that most men are incorrigible pervs, I wonder if bidding is higher on such items, given the buyer can see photographic evidence that some pert young nipples once rubbed against the lining?

Top new IoT foundation (yeah, another one) to develop open standards

Ali Um Bongo


The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking "Internet of Things Popular Foundation"


And the "Popular Internet of Things Foundation"

Yeah. Splitters!

And the "Popular Foundation for the Internet of Things"

Yeah. Splitters!

The "People's Foundation for the Internet of Things"


We're the "People's Foundation for the Internet of Things"!

Oh. I thought we were the "Popular Internet Foundation for Things"?

"People's Foundation"

Whatever happened to the "Popular Internet Foundation for Things"?

He's over there.


Ali Um Bongo

IoT = The "Built-In FM Radio" de Nous Jours

*"...So why do people think we need this crap everywhere?..."*

Those of you old enough to have been around in the 1970s may remember that there was a corresponding "Futility-Fest" then, following advances in miniaturising solid state electronics, which allowed for [by the standards of the day] the creation of tiny radios.

Suddenly, everything from carpet slippers to frying pans was boasting "Built In FM Radio!" on the box. Not because anyone seriously thought that Joe Public wanted a surgical truss or spice rack which played tinny pop music, but because every manufacturer was terrified that their own product would suddenly look out-dated, if their rivals managed to shoehorn an FM radio into their offerings.

Watch as history repeats itself and we see a corresponding —and equally pointless— stampede to "Built In Intarwebs!" defacing our consumer goods for the next few years.

Yahoo! is! up! for! sale! – so! how! much! will! you! bid!?

Ali Um Bongo

!Worth It

Do you see what I did there?!

You've all got the wrong end of the stick.

Yahoo! has achieved the ultimate in Web2-Unicornosity in that no-one [not even the people who run the company] have any idea whatsoever what it's supposed to be for.

That alone must make it worth absolutely billions.

German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Patriotic Plonker Pulling

*"...He's in the same political party as Merkel (CDU). Basically the German version of the Tories..."*

Hence his commendable and principled quest for good home-grown "German Sluts". If he'd been one of those damned pinko socialists he'd doubtless have been trawling the web for tawdry "Illegal Immigrant Sluts".

Ali Um Bongo

Sprechen Zie Deutsche?

*"...He deleted it and claimed someone else had taken it...."*

*"...he was only doing some research after he overheard a conversation about the site xHamsters while on a ski-lift..."*

*"...he didn't actually watch any of the videos – because his internet connection was too slow..."*

*"...he was reading a Wikipedia page about the novel Fifty Shades of Grey and wanted to look up what "BDSM" meant..."*

Does anyone know the German for "When in a hole... stop digging"?

This guy sounds like the kind of person who limps, bow-legged and red-faced into Casualty and whispers "I was up a step-ladder vacuuming cleaning in the nude... "

*"...They were mentioning the site 'xHamster,' and when I got to my room I wanted to get clued-up..."*

Typo alert. You spelt "glued" wrong.

The paperless office? Don’t talk sheet

Ali Um Bongo


To visit the domain linked to in that old Adobe article and find that


seems to be bereft of content.

Or is it some really clever visual pun on this whole "blank sheets of paper" subject matter?

Do tell us "Ali" <snigger!>

Ali Um Bongo
IT Angle

Re: Killing paper may well happen, but not quickly

*"...Until all tablets have a stylus - paper wins out..."*

Until all tablets have a stylus AND it feels like using a pencil on paper —not like trying to write on glass, with a biro...

Ali Um Bongo

Re: and don't even think of looking at my Rotring pens

*"...Now those were proper drawing instruments...."*

Rotring pens are for pansies. Real artists use a dip pen and a bottle of Indian Ink

Ali Um Bongo

Re: paper paper paper

*"...the vast majority of our paper supply seems to sit as uncollected printouts around the printers..."*

That will be from the people who think the best way to clear a printer problem that's causing jobs not to print, is to stay at their desk and keep sending the job through over and over again until it works—usually because, in the meantime someone else has gone and sorted the printer out— whereupon 57 copies of <whatever it was> will start spewing forth [and probably jam the printer again]

At a college where I used to work, the students were also a great source of tree decimation:

The larger the swathe of Wikipedia they printed out as part of their "research" into someone and then pasted into their sketchbooks, the deeper they seemed to think they had "researched" that subject. A lot of the time, when questioned, it was apparent they hadn't even read what they'd printed out. The mere fact of having sent several pages from Wikipedia to printer apparently sufficed as "research".

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Paperless office - about as likely as the paperless loo.

*"...you still need some paper unless you want a funny wet patch on your trouser seat..."*

Maybe waxing would help? If it's like a bristle paintbrush down there, it'll really hold the water.

Ali Um Bongo

Re: I did a PEN test less than 2 years ago...

I thought I was reading a post by Jake there until I got to the bit about the femme fatale. The real Jake would have got into drag, at that point.

SpaceShipTwo ready to slip the surly bonds of Earth for Virgin Galactic

Ali Um Bongo

Yes, It's Exciting And All That

But I can't help thinking of Richard Branson as that creepy kid at school nobody really liked, but kind of tolerated because he was well-off and always brought the best toys and sweets in.

China wants to bring home moon rocks in moon vacuum

Ali Um Bongo

Re: How old hat ...

You 'ad a *rinsed out* urine bottle?

Oooh. Get Mr. La-de-Da, wiv 'is urine bottle all rinsed out for 'im! By 'is butler, no doubt. Bloody pampered jessie!

Traces of urine left in t'bottle was nearest we got t'lemonade when we was kids!

New Monopoly version features an Automatic Teller Machine

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Dog Nuts

*"...our Monopoly board had plenty of small furrows where I'd been doughnuting the car while in jail..."*

I was always the dog. Often, if participant numbers were low enough that the other piece was spare too, I'd be the dog, wearing the top hat.

Ali Um Bongo

Localised Versions

*"...Monopoly’s owner, Hasbro, now churns out variants on the game regularly as it seeks to milk the franchise for all it is worth..."*

Ain't that the truth!

Visiting the rellies over Christmas, I was press-ganged into the traditional Yuletide game. They had one of those localised versions.

Talk about tacky! —the board was so plastered with adverts for local companies that most of the squares were unrecognisable. For example a train station might have a tiny strip of text along the edge of the square, giving the name of the station, where the rest of the square might be an advert for a coach or taxi company. Community Chest or Chance likewise obliterated by nearly full-square ads for 'Ambulance Chasers 4U' lawyers, etc.

Sadly, while the other oldies and I harrumphed and expressed our disgust, most of the younger generation playing seemed not to notice anything wrong. Another sad example of just how pervasive fucking adverts are there days.

Anyone working on an Ad-Blocker for board games?

Facebook tells Viz to f**k right off

Ali Um Bongo

Re: A once brilliant comic....

*"...a wonderful homage to 'Black Bob', from way back in the Hotspur or maybe Rover (my memory is hazy on that one)..."*

Black Bob was in The Dandy, when I was a nipper.

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Re: A once brilliant comic....

At the risk of sounding like a candidate for another magazine's "Pseuds' Corner", I've always thought that; as well as [on occasion still] being good crack, Viz as a whole is also a very good barometer of 'real' contemporary British society

I only wish I could persuade the Arts Council to fund my learnēd thesis on the subject.

Streetmap's lawyer: Google High Court win will have 'chilling effect’ on UK digital biz

Ali Um Bongo


Might have been helpful to include a link to the StreetMap site in question in the original article. I suspect [especially as the company was erroneously referred to as "streetmap.eu"] I wasn't the only one to think this story was about Google vs. OpenStreetMap.

I'd never heard of StreetMap [http://www.streetmap.co.uk] before and, looking at their site, I think they've a damned cheek trying to pass that mess of as something that would have been a viable alternative to Google Maps, if only big bad Google had played fair.

OpenStreetMap [http://www.openstreetmap.org] on the other hand do provide a very good OSS-ish alternative to Google maps, competing with Google's ginormous cash advantage by innovatively channelling a "crowd-sourcing" business model, to produce and update their maps. And the Dutch/Russian http://maps.me company produces some very good mobile mapping/GPS apps based on OpenStreetMap data.

So, I think the lesson to take away from this is that, whilst difficult, it is possible to compete strongly with Google by using a bit of ingenuity and providing a quality alternative. Sticking up an ad-infested, inferior site that looks like it was last updated in the 1990s, and then crying into your beer because Google won't throw you the crumbs from their table isn't such a viable strategy.

Time acquires Myspace, creates 2004's most fearsome media giant

Ali Um Bongo


*"...I have nothing **consturctive** to add..."*

Newton's Third Law of Grammar Nazism in action.

Ali Um Bongo


I have nothing consturctive to add, but the mis-spelling was bugging me.

Boffins' gravitational wave detection hat trick blows open astronomy

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Wow! Just Wow!

*"...so, another amazingly expensive kit to detect something that is incomprehensible to virtually everyone?..."*

Don't fret. I'm sure the technology involved will eventually filter down to improving methods for putting cat videos online.

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Wow! Just Wow!

I like to think I'm a pretty intelligent bloke, but reading articles like this and trying to comprehend the sort of minds who can conceive of science that can measure a 1,3 billion year old wave deflecting a laser beam by a ten-thousandth of the diameter of a proton makes me feel like a plankton, by comparison.

... in a good way.

Thank God the human race has at least a few people left who are dragging us in the right evolutionary direction.

Linode SSH key blunder left virtual servers open to man-in-the-middle fiddles for months

Ali Um Bongo

Re: the way it goes

*"...they might be a safer choice after all this "bad weather" since they'll likely be trying extra hard to do it right..."*

That's what people said after the last cock-up

... and the one before that.

Don't mention the F word: Adobe releases Animate CC

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Bah!

*"...implying that up to two-thirds still uses Flash..."*

That would be "implying just under two thirds" to them wot can actually do arithmetic..."*

"Up to two thirds" and "under two thirds" are functionally equivalent... to them wot can actually do English

Canonical and Spain's BQ team to put Ubuntu on a tablet

Ali Um Bongo

Touch Keyboard

What is the on-screen keyboard like?

Have they followed the paradigm of Android and iOS, so that typing [and more especially editing] on an on-screen keyboard is an exercise in frustration?... or have they actually "thought outside the box" and come up with something different and usable?

Norks uses ballistic missile to launch silent 'satellite'

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Iran, North Korea. Can you blame them?

*"...North Korea is no put-upon innocent that is only trying to defend itself from mean ol' Uncle Sam..."*

Where did I say, or even imply that they were?

I thought the phrases: "I have no love whatsoever for the regimes in either Iran or North Korea..." and "If I was the tin-pot dictator or mediaeval voodoo peddlar in charge of one of these countries..." in my original post made that clear.

The point I was trying to make was that ***from their point of view*** [emphasis] they are being threatened by a country which has a track record as long as your arm of both crippling the economies of and intervening militarily in, countries whose regimes they don't approve of.

*"...you don't see Zimbabwe/Sudan/Cuba/other autocracies ... threatening to turn their southern neighbor's capital into a "sea of fire" or advertising and plastering images of a burning White House/Statue of Liberty all over the place..."*

I'm sure, if those countries felt threatened by outside invasion, this is exactly what they would be doing. As far as political sophistiction goes, this is school playground stuff:

"I'm going to kick your head in!"

"Well, if you try it I'm going to smash your face in!"

Like Saddam's "Mother of All Battles" nonsense, it is empty rhetoric for domestic consumption and intended to make 'Mr. T.P. Dictator' seem strong at home. It is about as close to having any connection to reality as labels like "Operation Enduring Freedom" are, when the US attaches them to its swathe of destruction in the Middle East.

It's all a question of perspective and, unfortunately, far too few people in the West ever bother to try and see it from the other guy's point of view, or question the lines spun by those in the Whitehouse, 10 Downing Street et al. Does anyone wih an ounce of critical thinking ability really believe North Korea [or Iran] are plotting to launch a war against the USA?

Presumably these people also think "Team America: World Police" was a documentary.

[I see your fail and raise you a Fuck, yeah!]

Ali Um Bongo

Re: The entire concept of the NORKs ...

*"...But they do know how to push everbody's button. Seems like their strategy is "If you can't beat 'em, annoy them."..."*

They don't annoy me. But then again, my *weltanschauung* isn't manufactured in Washington.

Ali Um Bongo

Iran, North Korea. Can you blame them?

I have no love whatsoever for the regimes in either Iran or North Korea. But, seriously, how can anyone blame them from trying to develop a nuclear defence?

If I was the tin-pot dictator or mediaeval voodoo peddlar in charge of one of these countries and was looking around the world at what's been happening to the neighbours the US has decided it doesn't like the look of [HINT: Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Syria... ], I'd be cracking the whip across my nuclear scientists' backs as well, and ordering them to build me a nuclear deterrent as quick as they can.

The really sad thing is that there are people so monumentally gullible that, when a US politician describes these activities as "sinister plots to attack the USA", rather than as frantic attempts to shore up your own defences before Uncle Sam decides to come a-calling and bringing 'regime change' they actually believe it.

PS: Shame on El Reg's usually cynical journos for swallowing the 'official line' too.

HINT 2: As well as regime mismanagement of the economy, the reason North Korea's people are starving might also have something to do with the fact that the US has forbidden any of its lackeys from trading with the country. It's another standard American tactic:

**UNCLE SAM:** We don't like Country X, so we're going to impose crippling economic sanctions on them and also insist all our lickspittle 'friends' do too.

[Time passes]

**UNCLE SAM** Look at the state of Country X's economy. They can't even feed their own people!

Firefox Mobile. In-Page Anchors Not Working

Ali Um Bongo
Paris Hilton

Firefox Mobile. In-Page Anchors Not Working

Anyone else finding that Firefox on Android no longer scrolls to in-page anchors, when using the El Reg site?

For me, it seems to have started a month or so ago. I'm not sure whether it's an El Reg problem or a Firefox one, but this is the only site I notice it on.

Symptoms are:

* When up/down-voting a comment the page does not scroll back to the comment in question after reloading.

* When clicking on the 'X days' link above one of your own comments in the 'My Posts' section, you are taken to the top of the page that comment is on, rather than scrolling to the actual comment itself.

Both of these are making interacting with the commentardery aspects of the site a real pain in the arse,

Ducks, Lord of the Rings, movies and maths: The GCHQ Xmas puzzle solutions revealed

Ali Um Bongo

Usually I Like These Kind of Logic Puzzles...

But didn't visit this one.

I've no interest in helping GCHQ's transparent attempts to rebrand itself as 'Jolly Old Uncle M', wearing his novelty Christmas Jersey and playing riddles in with the children, in front of a roaring log fire.

[Ironically, I just noticed, on proof-reading this, that my Android swipe keyboard had misinterpreted "roaring log fire" as "rotating log fire" —which sounds like just the kind of thing, behind which Jolly Old Uncle M would hide his mass communications monitoring equipment]

BlackBerry axes 200 jobs – including a third of its HQ staff

Ali Um Bongo

HR Speak

*"...As BlackBerry continues to execute its turnaround plan, we remain focused on driving efficiencies across our global work force. As a result, approximately 200 employees have been impacted in Canada and Florida. For those employees that have recently left the company, we know that they have worked hard on behalf of our company and we are grateful for their commitment and contributions..."*

It amazing how many ways HR weasels can come up with to say "Times are hard" and "We're laying people off" without actually using those words.

Whoever wrote that snivelling mealy-mouthed tripe ought to be "impacted" —preferably in the groin, with something sporting a steel toecap.

[The vomit-proof one, please]

The Mad Men's monster is losing the botnet fight: Fewer humans are seeing web ads

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Down

Re: Is anyone really surprised ?

Have you seen Terry Gilliam's Brazil?

There's a scene near the end of that where a truck drives off through rolling countryside. The occupants of the truck can see nothing of the landscape at all, because both sides of the road are lined with a solid wall of billboards. That's a vision of the future for you.

EDIT. Here it is: http://tinyurl.com/braziladscene

I've asked it before and I'll ask it again. Why are things like eating an apple, or drinking from a bottle of water, while at the wheel, deemed to be dangerously distracting to drivers, whereas 30 ft high pictures of sexy models in their underwear, placed alongside the road and aimed at the driver's line of sight are deemed acceptable?

That's cute, Germany – China shows the world how fusion is done

Ali Um Bongo

The Thoughts of Chairman Wow.

*"...You're either a China government affiliate or an idiot or both..."*

Must be a bit of both. I even forgot to mention all those wars and invasions of other nations started by China, over the past few decades.

And, the way they've recently taken to investing billions into helping African nations improve their infrastructure –instead of bleeding them dry with arms sales makes my blood boil.

Evil Commie bastards!

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Well Done the Chinese!

"A great bunch of lads!"

Sad to see that, a dozen or more comments in, I seem to be the first to actually applaud the technical achievement.

Seems whatever China does, the commentardery will still mostly consist of; reds under the bed paranoia, snidey insinuations that they stole someone else's idea, or dire predictions about what will happen when it inevitably falls to bits, or blows up.

The Western brain-washing is strong in these ones!

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Soon...

*"..Those cynical amongst us might think that Chinese reactors placed strategically around Europe could be their version of Trident..."*

They... are... not... your... enemy.. just... because... Uncle... Sam.... wants... you... to... fear... anyone... who... is... an... economic... rival... to... him...

Come on. You can do this. Try really hard. Fight it. You can form your own opinions if you really really try.

LinkedIn sinkin': $10bn gone in one day as shares plummet 40%

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Job-Based Social Media Company LinkedIn"

*"...Yes, Ali Um Bongo..."*

Wow! –I got name-checked and weirded at by amanfromMars. I'm not sure whether to feel honoured or worried that the ROTM vanguard is onto me.

[Maybe I should add it to my LinkedIn profile]

Ali Um Bongo

Job-Based Social Media Company LinkedIn"

Oh. It's that what it's for?

A while back, when on the point of leaving my then job, I set up a LinkedIn profile, as a mate who'd recently changed jobs himself said that a lot of employers these days look at the LinkedIn profile of prospective candidates.

From what I've gathered on the few visits to the site I've made since, LinkedIn seems to be a bit like FacePuke in that you add as 'connections' anyone you've ever nodded to in passing, in the canteen, anywhere you've ever worked.

Having thus built up a 'collection of connections' numerous enough to demonstrate to future employees that some remunerable use for you has been found in the past... er... well, that's it really. That's all it seems to be for. Unlike FacePuke there's no expectation that you 'interact' with the heads in your trophy cabinet in any way so, as far as LinkedIn is concerned —that's you done.

LinkedIn is also a bit like Twatter in that; after signing up, you will continue, ever after, to receive emails from them trying to tempt you back to the site with the news that someone you've never heard of has published an article about something you've no interest in and didn't actually know existed. I think this is where the monetisation angle comes in because these emails also invite you to a free 30 day trial of LinkedIn Pro which, I believe allows access to even more irrelevant and boring articles, in return for hard cash.

Safe Harbor ripped and replaced with Privacy Shield in last-minute US-Europe deal

Ali Um Bongo

Re: I don't think the EU is even trying any more

Daily Fail fodder such as stories about Brussels regulating the straightness of bananas aside, I used to think that the EU was generally a 'good thing': All of Europe pooling resources to form a unified 'entity' which would be big enough to complete with [and deal with on its own terms] the USA, USSR/Russia, China, etc.

And, to be fair, I think the EU has done a lot of good 'stuff' in the past, especially for the smaller member nations.

Increasingly however, it seems the EU as an institution is becoming a vehicle for individual European nations to gather together in one place to be fucked by the USA, rather than putting Uncle Sam to the inconvenience of shafting them individually.

This latest agreement allows data-slurping, NSA-conniving US mega-corporations to maintain their stranglehold on European eCommerce, on the strength of a laughable promise to play fair in future. This latest piece of own-foot-shooting following on nicely from Europe doing its master's bidding by going down the economic sanctions and Cold War v2 sabre-rattling route with Russia over Ukraine —when it was patently obvious early in that crisis, in talks with France and Germany, that Russia was willing to try and reach a negotiated solution. Result: Russia turns off Europe's cheap gas supplies and European countries lose access to a huge market, right on their door-step.

I seriously think that there's some kind of ongoing 'Spin the Bottle' party taking place in the pentagon, where the players have to come up with ever more outrageous 'dares' to demand of their supposed 'friends' around the world:

* I bet I can make them go to war over a weapon I've just made up

* I bet I can make them help us kidnap and torture people

* I bet I can make them accept that US law applies in their countries

* I bet I can make them stop trading with their biggest neighbour

* I bet I can make them cover their eyes while we spy on them

...etc. etc.

The game's been going on for years, but nobody's been got out yet as, however outrageous the dare, the target has always complied.

Stylish Vaio biz mobe is flying this way – ah, it's got Windows 10 inside

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Down

Looks Like....

The HTC One M8's uglier cousin.

Like your iPhone, but not enough to touch it? This patent's for you

Ali Um Bongo

Kicking to the What Now?

*"...The firm pioneered touch for the masses with the iPhone, kicking to the curb earlier puny efforts from Microsoft..."*

I think you mean "kerb". "Curb" is a verb.

Mozilla officially kills Firefox OS for smartphones in favour of 'Connected Devices'

Ali Um Bongo

Re: This is a distraction!

*"...Firstly, many modern web browsers seem to be a playground for wannabe, newbie programmers to try out different ideas with oblivion. FireFox is a prime example of this..."*

Ain't that the truth!

Only this very day i went to do a quick 'view source' on a web page to find that item [apparently!] vanished from its customary menu. However i did find a new menu item inviting me to 'Start a Chat' [or such-like]. Opening said menu revealing that, at some point during one of Firefox's seemingly daily updates, it has acquired video-calling over internet capabilities.

The words "bloat" and "pointless" spring to mind.

[Actually, to be fair, said update also seems to have brought Firefox's Dev Tools up to a par with Chrome's, by adding responsive design testing options.]

Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Re: I could sooooo care less about what's his name!

I'm sure he will be glad that you care a certain amount. Just to be clearer about the extent of caring involved, could you quantify exactly *how much* less could you care?

Ali Um Bongo

Re: We make our own prisons

*"...The fact that he is a fugitive from justice in Sweden, one of Europe's more liberal jurisdictions..."*

I suspect Mr. Assange would be quite happy to submit himself to Sweden's liberal justice system itself.

It was the likelihood of being subsequently extradited from Sweden to a; kidnapping, torturing, detaining-without-trial, human-rights-abusing, war-mongering, civilian-slaughtering, police state, on the other side of the Atlantic, that he was concerned about.

Did you know ... Stephen Fry has founded a tech startup?

Ali Um Bongo

Re: Stephen Fry picking bad investments? Shirley not!


Er, no. You just demonstrated that you got 'Whoosh!-ed'

Ali Um Bongo
Thumb Up

Re: Cruel and viscious.[sic]

*...As a Yank didn't even know who Mr. Fry was..."*

He was very good in Blackadder.

Ali Um Bongo

Ignoring the Beam in One's Own Eye

* Did you know The Register recently invested in a new website?

* Did you know nowadays more people access the internet via mobile devices than desktop?

* Did you know The Register is an IT focused site and must be well aware of that?

* Did you know The Register's comments system requires users to write raw HTML, to add any formatting to comments?

* Did you know writing HTML on mobile device keyboards is incredibly unfriendly?

* Did you know each '<' or '>' takes three keystrokes to type?

* Did you know that, therefore it takes fourteen keystrokes to put '< i > ... < / i >' round some text on a mobile keyboard, where it would only take 4 to do the equivalent '* ... *' in markdown?

It's true that!

*[Hey! —this biting satire stuff is really easy to write]*