Posts by Bibbit

ZX Spectrum reboot latest: Some Vega+s arrive, Sky pulls plug, Clive drops ball

Someone must be happy

They raised almost half a million and produced sod all. So the scumbags heading upthe racket shift the money off shore and laugh all the way to the Cayman Islands?

Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

Re: Travesty...

Maybe it will be ok and James Corden will voice him. He rocked with Peter Rabbit. :/

Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Is that a record?

166 upvotes and counting, with no downvotes. Most impressive.

Fukushima reactors lend exotic nuclear finish to California's wines

What profit did the Blue Nun make?

Re: Grapes do not absorb much

Did the mushrooms look cloudy?

Hiroshima & Nagasaki

Probably showing my ignorance here but would not caesium from the atom bomb strikes on Japan show up in wine before 1952?

Your manhood is safe, judge tells ZX Spectrum reboot boss

Thank you.

It has been ages since I've heard a new (to me) joke. Took me a minute to get it.

How's this for a stocking filler next year? El Reg catches up with Gemini

Blimey

That looks amazing. If only I can convince my better half.

Windows Store nixed Google Chrome 'app' hours after it went live

Instead of all this divisive OS talk...

Perhaps we could discuss the Sunni / Shia schism?

Cost-hurling IBM seeks more volunteers for employment bonfire

Re: Culling the 'Herd'

I put it to you, sir, that you are not a nice chap. I heartily pray all your hopes and dreams go the same way as your poor fish.

From the graaaaaave! WileyFox's Windows 10 phone delayed again

Mine is ok.

I needed a dual-sim smartphone and went for a Swift. Overall no problems although the battery suffers in the Swedish winter but I still get pretty decent life out of it, especially with Wi-fi and 4G off. I've had maybe one crash per year? For how cheap it was I am pretty pleased, especially considering how often I have dropped it.

How is 55 Cancri e like a Sisters of Mercy gig? Astroboffins: It has atmosphere

What an atmosphere! I love a...

No wait, that was Russ Abbott.

Saw The Sisters live at Birmingham NEC in the ?90s. They were wank. My fault for not being off my face I suppose but that's the price one pays for getting a lift with a mate's dad.

The albums are still awesome though, especially Floodland.

Parity calamity! Wallet code bug destroys $280m in Ethereum

This cheered me up.

Silly sods got what they deserved.

Google on flooding the internet with fake news: Leave us alone, we're trying really hard... *sob*

Good points.

Give Google a break

Their motto is "don't be evil" not "don't be incompetent" or "don't be profitable". Unless the incompetence begets evil, I suppose. Does proxy-evil count? I must think on this further.

PS: If you want to see what happens when you combine incompetence AND evil, check out the UK government. Makes me proud to be British.

Official: Perl the most hated programming language, say devs

Re: common::sense

Tunes I just about understood but when the wide-?kanji-UTF stuff kicked off...boom. Finished.

uBlock Origin ad-blocker knocked for blocking hack attack squawking

With the greatest respect Mr Helme...

F*ck off.

This article only increase my respect for uBlock.

The Google Home Mini: Great, right up until you want to smash it in fury

Some friendly advice Kieran

Get all that IoT nonsense out of your house. There are probably tons of script kiddies just waiting to turn your pied a terre into a straight-to-video version of Demon Seed.

What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

Re: test frequency

Just ordered the book. Thanks for the recommendation.

Oracle staff report big layoffs across Solaris, SPARC teams

Re: Do Oracle fans exist?

More of a Ceefax person myself.

Futuristic driverless car technology to be trialled on... oh, a Ford Mondeo

Lay off Mondeos.

I had a work-related rental Mondeo in the early-naughties. A belting car. Nothing, but nothing, drives like a rental. And work paid the fuel.

Boffins blast beats to bury secret sonar in your 'smart' home

Someone tell Lucian Fox

They did a Hollywood (ie stupidly graphical) version of this in "The Dark Knight", did they not?

Conservative manifesto disappears offline – then mysteriously reappears

No magic money tree

There was no space in Wanker's Wood in which to plant a Magic Money Tree. The Banker's Bail-Out Bush, Trident Tree and Illegal Foreign War Willow have sucked the land of nutrients.

Want to learn machine learning in 15 minutes? Start here...

Tippity top!

15 minutes of my life well spent and I am tempted to learn more. Thank you for an informative and interesting article. More stuff like this on various subjects would be great.

Ad 'urgently' seeks company to build national e-ID system

Bodes ill...

Looks like it is listed just under an advert asking for "skilled EU trade negotiators". A two year contact that could be extended indefinitely.

State of DevOps: Everyone's slinging code out faster

Infomercial ahoy!

"But wait. It does suggest that the gap between ..."

Forget the rest of the text. The first two words of that sentence confirm that someone is selling something too good to be true that turns out to be bollocks. Again. And again.

"Sign up for Puppet now and you get get this roll-on cat hair remover for just 5.99! That's right just 5.99 (plus postage & packing)."

Kaspersky files antitrust suit against Microsoft

I am confused but sure it is all badness

As a cheapskate I use Avast! (ugh why the exclamation mark) which has stopped a couple of web nasties. But then you get people saying that AV software actually highlights/aides vulnerabilities which almost sounds like an ant-vacc campaign. I will probably stick with the free stuff for now and just be careful in general. As for Microsoft, they've been at this for ages (along with the rest) AND they use the term "reach out" to boot which means they must be guilty. Who used that term first? There is a place in hell just for them.

Oh, the things Vim could teach Silicon Valley's code slingers

ERM...

I like nano.

UK cops spot webcam 'sextortion' plots: How vics can hit stop

Worth the risk

So I just ignore this gorgeous LA beach babe who has just sent me a friend request? I reckon I should risk it; if I end up getting blackmailed I can use the proceeds of the recent Nigerian lottery win I have been told I have won to buy them off. I will get use that vIAgrA i ORDereD toO.

Dirty code? If it works, leave it says Thoughtworks CTO

Oh oh.

They're back.

Brexit judgment could be hit for six by those crazy Supreme Court judges, says barrister

The UK on the international stage

Ever get the feeling that rest of the world are looking at us as if we were an obnoxious, spoilt, loutish child at the zoo, that has just climbed into the hyena enclosure?

"We could raise the alarm, but I think on balance it would be better not to."

Teen UK hacker pleads guilty after earning $385k from DDoS tool

Opportunity

If I was GCHQ I might give him a call.

"Do you fancy a job with computers near Cheltenham or would you instead like a spell in the clink getting passed around like a tin cup?"

Sextortion on the internet: Our man refuses to lie down and take it

Let me get this straight...

(no not in THAT way)

I must have got this wrong. Potentially, you can get anyone's email address, use that to sign up to Vimeo and then without activation/authorisation upload video content to the site which is then published? Attached to their eamil address? Surely not?

If so I may visit the Conservative Home website and get cracking.

(only joking; they will have all registered themselves long ago and have been sending grumbly pics to young Tory interns ever since). Good old Baxter Basics.

Re: Oh no! One of Vyvyan's socks has escaped!

"Felicity Kendall is sweetly pretty, and just what a real girlie should be. Why, speaking as a feminist myself, I can safely say this: that Felicity Kendall is a wonderful woman, and I want to protect her."

How that sugar-flavoured snob Briers pulled her, I shall never know.

Social media flame wars to be illegal, says top Crown prosecutor

Legally speaking...

It says "particularly" which does not implicitly exclude ageism. As the centurion says, "Your f***ing nicked me old beauty!"

'Everyone' is buying Twitter

Re: $18bn?

Erm. You might want to rethink Uber's profit making claim.

http://www.businessinsider.com/uber-reportedly-operating-at-a-470-million-loss-2015-6?op=1%3fr=US&IR=T&IR=T

Apple guilty in iPhone ringtone patent rip-off battle with Sony, Nokia

Is it just me...

Or is Tim Cook a dead ringer for Paul O'Grady?

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-paul-ogrady-show

Apple wants to buy Formula 1 car firm McLaren – report

Only problem....

Is when poor old Mr Button's successor starts getting U2 over the driver radio.

Pluto's emitting X-rays, and NASA doesn't quite know how

Re: There was nothing in my horoscope about this this morning.

That's because Jonathan Cainer (ironic) died recently of a heart attack after (allegedly) snorting coke. Truly a warrior's death. Typical Leo.

Look closer...

Does the X-Ray pattern spell the words "Welcome to Yuggoth - have a nice day"?

I for one welcome our new fungal overlords etc etc.

Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

It is not all bad if you are a man.

Providing you survive the bite the priapism subsides but you forever have extra staying power. Such "spider-men" (not no that one) are much prized as husbands and seen to bring good fortune in some cultures.

If the family had gone for fairtrade organic bananas this would never have happened so I supposed in a way they deserve this inconvenience for exploiting the poor cowed communities of blah blah blah...

Hand the security cookbook to your robot butler: Time to automate

I love DevOps

That snake-oil article bot works really well. Theses articles almost read like people wrote them. What do they pay you El reg? :)

The Devils of DevOps stick it to YOU

Stop this sh*t

El Reg Staff. This is abuse. Please stop. I noticed that DevOps whitepaper had no comments allowed. The DevOps architect behind the UK.GOV project? The project that was a total clusterf*ck? This site is starting to slide.

Colander-wearing Irishman denied driver's licence in Pastafarian slapdown

Maybe he should try this?

A nice plate of Strozzapreti - Romagnan pasta that translates as "strangle the priest".

Utah declares 'war on smut'

Thanks for that...

Just had images of Morph and Chas getting it on.

Embattled 123-reg flings six months' free hosting at angry customers

Re: And second prize is...

Good work. Laughed my socks off and forgot my hangover for a few minutes.

Larry Ellison's Brit consortium in 'advanced talks' to buy Aston Villa

Has he thought this through?

Maybe as an American he hasn't quite got his head round the concept of relegation? Rumours are the Venkys were not aware of it when they bought Blackburn Rovers.

I suspect he may find The Villa harder to keep afloat than his yacht but I admire his courage. Wonder if he'll attend any live matches? 90 minutes of excremental football in West Midlands drizzle with tens of thousands of drunk Brummies calling you a c**t. What's not to like?

Pusher's purist: Five steps to reaching your DevOps zen

Lovely, lovely DevOps

You have broken me El Reg. You have won by attrition and I have cracked like Winston Smith. 2 + 2 =5! I LOVE DevOps. I want to rub DevOps onto my skin. Mmmmmmmm. DevOps....DevOps...Devops...

Happy now?

BT hauled into Old Bailey after engineer's 7-metre fall broke both his ankles

Worth following

Having worked in the private sector in surveying, often on quarries I had to have CSCS card, enclosed/at height/excavation areas training, PPE training, lone working. And the HSE reps at my work were proper barrack-room lawyers: I would be surprised if even BT were not H&S conscious. My gut instinct is this guy wanted to get the job crossed off and just went "screw the manual and the nanny state" but BT could really be that rubbish. I shall be interested to see how this pans out.

Ultra-rare WWII Lorenz cipher machine goes on display at Bletchley Park

The pessimist's view.

A thing of beauty but I bet it gets nicked within a month.