Posts by Cranky_Yank

Florida Man sues Facebook, Twitter, YouTube for account ban

Asking for a fiend

Can a deceased person sue Satan if the special room in Hell that has been prepared for them isn't satisfactory?

Japanese bank botched data migration, which somehow turned its ATMs into card-eating monsters

Re: Like a box of clowns being slowly immolated.

Do post office ATMs exist outside Japan?

Japan Post Bank provides cash withdrawal services for credit cards and cash cards issued by overseas financial institutions.Cards bearing the VISA, VISAELECTRON, PLUS, Mastercard, Maestro, Cirrus, American Express, JCB, China Unionpay or DISCOVER brand can make withdrawals at Japan Post Bank ATMs.

If you think you've got problems, pal, spare a thought for these boffins baffled by 'oddball' meteorites

Now you've done it!

All this talk about melty insides has made me crave a grilled-cheese sandwich.

You've think you've heard it all about automation in technology? Get a load of this robot that plugs in cables

Re: It's been done

I'm convinced my mother had eyes in the back of her head, and now I discover that Dextrous Blue has ears in his fingers.

Do not bend, spindle, or mutilate

I don't like the sound of we will explore more complex deformable objects like fabrics, clothes, fruits, which can result in extensive applications in elderly care, hospital nursing, housework performing, fruit harvesting because I may be in a care home someday and as a deformable object I wouldn't want a fruit picker or clothes folder rolling up to my bed one morning.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Has anybody suggested this? (My scroller's broken)

Big Mu

UK ads watchdog bans Burger King Twitter jibe for condoning chucking milkshakes at politicians

Turnabout is fair play

If a milkshake is thrown at a person like Farage could one say the tosser has become the tossee?

Fibaro flummoxed, Georgia courts held for ransom, and more

What?

Was this written by an AI journalist?

"The problem lied in the password reset system. The app allowed a user to armed with just an email address, date of birth, and phone number to ..."

10 PRINT Memorial in New Hampshire marks the birthplace of BASIC

Lost in Translation

As a Yank in Japan, I took some pride in the fact that I taught myself BASIC using the books that came with my new NEC computer, which were written in Japanese.

When I bragged about it to some Japanese co-workers, they laughed and said, "So did we!"

Zorin OS 15 nods at Ubuntu and welcomes Windows escapees

The 39 Steps

I have attempted to use various Linux distributions over the past 20 years or so but even with the latest distro when I need to fix a minor problem the solution is composed of 39 steps. I shall not leap from the frying pan yet.

AI can now animate the Mona Lisa's face or any other portrait you give it. We're not sure we're happy with this reality

Re: Mona Lisa

I think the middle Mona was Natalie Portman. Maybe Moby knows.

Japanese dark-web drug dealers are so polite, they'll offer 'a refund' if you're not satisfied

Re: Japanese Dark Web Prostitution?

I have lived in Japan for nearly four decades but it never ceases to amaze me. I recently read that exchanging money for sex is legal so long as the sex is manual, oral, or anal. Vaginal penetration is illegal. Inscrutable, eh what?

Uptight robots that suddenly beg to stay alive are less likely to be switched off by humans

See Janet in "The Good Place"

If you don't get the reference, Janet is a non-human character in the Netflix comedy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vo4Fdf7E0w

Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse

Re: And that's probably why...

In Japan black is connected with death.

The non-Hispanic whites

Being a citizen of the U.S.A. I had to declare the race of my newborn children on a number of government forms. I was deeply puzzled by the "non-Hispanic white" option as I could not understand the need to separate the whites nor could I understand who is and isn't Hispanic. If anybody knows why this is so, please enlighten me.

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

WWKSD?

What would Keyser Soze do? Remember how Keyser (Verbal) held his cigarette in the car? I wonder how he would hold his mobile phone?

HTC Vive Pro virtually stripped. OK, we mean actually stripped. (It’s a VR headset, geddit?)

Cost analysis

What sort of rowing boat could I purchase for 800 quid?

If I'm going to get seasick, I might as well enjoy some fresh air and the chance to catch supper.

Astro-boffinry world rocked to its very core: Shock as Andromeda found to be not much bigger than Milky Way

The nanny state

Now every telescope in the U.S.A. must have the warning "Objects in your reflector's mirror are smaller than they appear." engraved on it.

Net neutrality nonsense: Can we, please, just not all lose our minds?

Glass houses and all that

The author alluded to a person's poor spelling yet used "rationale" in place of "rational" more than once.

Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood

Rubbed the wrong way

Has it occurred to anybody that "Lord" sounds a bit sexist? Any suggestions for a viable substitute?

Video games used to be an escape. Now not even they are safe from ads

Mildly curious

In what situation would your life depend on recalling a video ad?

Big Tech slams Trump on plan to deport kids

This is about the DACA; these are some facts

Avg DACA recipient is 26 & came to US at age 6

91% are employed

100% have no criminal record

They pay $500 to renew every 2 yrs ($800M)

DreamHost smashed in DDoS attack: Who's to blame? Take a guess...

Premature ejaculations

I would not expect the commenters on a web site devoted to IT to go off at half cock. Nowhere in the article does it state who launched the attack. RTFA.

Not another Linux desktop! Robots cross the Uncanny Valley

I've never disliked spiders or snakes. Somebody once told me that humans have a natural fear of mushrooms. I was born with an inbuilt dislike of generalizations.

Don't look now but...

The units designated Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner, and Tom Cruise crossed the uncanny valley long ago.

Why do you cry when chopping onions? No, it's not crippling anxiety, it's this weird chemical

Why can't we get along?

Onions stopped making me cry after I agreed to stop beating eggs and whipping cream.

Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Blame the EU?

Did I miss the episode in which it was explained why a man from France (Captain Picard) spoke with a British accent?

Welcome to the Wipe House: President Trump shreds climate change, privacy, LGBT policies on WhiteHouse.gov

One for the history books

I predict January 20, 2017, will be called the beginning of the Dark Ages 2.0 in America by future history boffins.

Juno probe spins up its sonic screwdrivers for Jupiter flyby

With the NASA Eyes app installed, one can enjoy the journey at virtual first hand.

PM resigns as Britain votes to leave EU

Say it with song

Coincidence or conspiracy? When I changed the TV channel from the Brexit vote news to the music channel, the Sex Pistols were singing God Save the Queen. "No future, no future, no future for you."

I love you. I will kill you! I want to make love to you: The evolution of AI in pop culture

IBM loved 2001

I was working at, not for, IBM when 2001 A Space Odyssey came out. Every other day, an IBM employee would sidle up to me and whisper, "H is one letter before I, A is one letter before B, and L is one letter before M. Get it?".

VMware, Xen issue urgent patches

When a cafe in a gentrification zone has a critical deserialization vulnerability, does it move to Brick ln.?