Posts by Blipvert

She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

Does it have a 'PooP' deck?

Elon Musk says SpaceX Falcon 9 fireball investigation is 'biggest challenge yet'

Re: Midnight

Brilliant :)

West country cops ponder appearance of 40 dead pigeons on A35

Re: In the world of printing...

DAMN!

Re: In the world of printing...

Do you see why you've got no 'upvotes'?.....you used logic and maths on The Register!

Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Re: Star Trek Beyond

Y'should've taken a bow for that one and not gone AC:)

McCain: Come to my encryption hearing. Tim Cook: No, I'm good. McCain: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you

Coronary Heart Disease...

meet John McCain, hope you two will get along.

The Reg Coding competition – 10 times as hard as the last one!

Go on....

With all the other commentards complaining that its too easy why don't you 'diss' them all, El Reg, and give the Alienware rig to me?

Have i mentioned that The Register is brilliant? Well you are, aren't you.

Lauri Love at risk of suicide if extradited to US, Brit court hears

After Gary McKinnon...

You would've thought that these fucks would have got the message by now?

"IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME, DON'T DO THE CRIME!"

Watch as SpaceX's latest Falcon rocket burns then crashes

Does Elon read The Register?

I hope SpaceX appreciates the Commentards helpful suggestions as to where they're going wrong?

EURO 2016

Instead of a barge couldn't they just stretch a large net out and catch the rocket instead?...obviously the net needs to be made out of some kind of futuristic stuff.

Major Tim Peake comes home to a gastronaut's Sunday roast

Food Glorious Food!

Nice to see the artist included some veg, should keep the linux users appy.

Wayne Rooney razzles in X-Men: Apocalypse plug

Re: now that might have been brilliant IF

Patrick Stewart had turned up and acted them all off the fuckin screen!!!!!

Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

Fist of Fun

DVD, when BBC, when?

Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough

It just goes to show

Voting changes nothing

Woman charged with blowing AU$4.6m overdraft on 'a lot of handbags'

I believe her!

Have you seen the price of those Gucci efforts?

Oz uni in right royal 'indigenous' lingo rumpus

Finally, well done!

so will the white infestation kindly leave now?

Oculus Rift review-gasm round-up: The QT on VR

Technical Point!

Do the lenses 'fog up' like safety and swimming goggles or do you have to do a 'Big GOZ' in them, before you put them on, just like Richard Dreyfus did in JAWS, to stop them from steaming up?

Subjects! Speek your branes to Parliament on the Snoopers' Charter

GO! Teresa, GO!!...

...no, seriously just fucking GO! Clear out your desk and pick up your P45 on the way out of the fucking door.

David Cameron hints at Budget law change to end mobile not-spots

terrorist bovines

Apparently there's a dozen Friesians in a field in Sommerset that GCHQ can't surveil yet!

Spanish cops discover illegally parked flying car

WHAM!!!

George Michael on oliday again?

Investigatory Powers Bill lands in Parliament amid howls over breadth of spying powers

RIGHT THAT DOES IT!!!

I'm so angry i'm gonna pop round tonight to where she lives and jam a ZX81 up her box!!!

Five Eyes nations must purge terrorists from the web, says Theresa May

JUST FUCK OFF BITCH!!!

This is why i shouldn't be a politician....too onest & too sweary.

'Hobbit' heads aren't human says bone boffin

When the scientists have finished with the remains...

...perhaps they'd like to study some live test subjects that are sat on the front bench of Her Majesty's Government?

Why a detachable cabin probably won’t save your life in a plane crash

"I never joke about my work 007!"

After watching Spectre, what about a personalized ejector seat system?

Israeli drones and jet signals slurped by UK and US SIGINT teams

So is Israel a friend?

We spy on them and then build a monument for them!

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

'The Wall'....oh wait, the Floyd have already got that one!

Charlie's wall is one of only a handful left in the world that haven't been shat on by Banksy.....better board it up Mr Lyne!

Universal Credit: The IT project that will outlive us all

Bless The Lord For UV Rays

Can only hope all those brown spots on his face are aggressive Melanomas

The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

Bita Something Extra

I assume for safety reasons they will only be using 'Beef Fat' from cows that are under 3 yrs old?

Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

The USS GINSTERS (yum)

Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

D' ya want fries with that nickname?

Blighty's Parliament prescribed tablets to cope with future votes

Won't this impact on the health of our dear MP's?

I mean for most of them, walking to and from the lobbies is the only exercise they actually get.

Farewell to The Division Scumm!

That's what i thought it said when i first glanced it...for a moment i thought that all the politicians were leaving.

Curiosity Rover eyes Mars' creeping dunes

Coach & Horses

Has this been filmed in LAGER-O-VISION?

Library web filtering removes info access for vulnerable, says shushing collective

For The Record

I tried getting onto The Register using Manchester Central Libraries computers. Before the botched refit of the library this wasn't a problem. After the refit your site was blocked! The message said something about the site being unsuitable as it had links to copyright infringing material!

Haven't used their computers since.

Periodic table enjoys elemental engorgement

If they happen to be Dr Who fans...

TARDISSIUM.

Sponsorship Deal?

I wonder if they could be tempted by a big corporation?

FACEBOOKONIUM?

Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

He was almost' Grabbed by the Rozzers'...

If so, that would've been very painful!

UK ISP Sky to make smut an opt-in service from 2016

HARSH!!

I knew Murdoch was pissed off, when he lost the Star Wars franchise, but i didn't think he'd kick down this badly;)

( can we have a 'middle finger' icon please?)

Steve Jobs mural highlights plight of Syrian refugees

Just As A Counterpoint...

...I'm popping over to Calais to do a Watercolor of a Chinese worker, at Foxxcon, throwing themselves off a balcony!

An Opportunity Presents Itself...

..I wonder which enterprising Syrian is at this moment chiseling the mural off the wall to sell to some US buyer?

Rupert Murdoch wants Google and chums to be g-men's backdoor men

Still not dead yet!!

Rup, you're giving Coffin-Dodgers a bad name.

Enraged Brits demand Donald Trump UK ban

Re: Don't ban 'The Donald'

Haven't seen this many commentards posting since El Reg flogged off some Hard drives a few weeks ago!

Don't ban 'The Donald'

Just ban his barber.

GCHQ Christmas Card asks YOU the questions

Is the answer: C-H-E-R-Y-L C-O-L-E?

Well?

JD Wetherspoon: A 'hacker' nicks 650,000 pub-goers' data

Beer Goggles..

I like a pint and a Ginsters.....how can this knowledge be used against me?

(tasty icon)

Doctor Who: Nigel Farage-alike bogey beast terrorises in darkly comic Sleep No More

Re: 'Morpheus wide-awake pods'

Didn't the 'Judges' in Judge Dredd (2000 AD) have a similar technology which allowed them to compress a nights sleep into a few minutes? That was the seventies!

(Not a Mark Gatiss fan)