Posts by Templogin

Crossrail? More like Borkrail...

Re: Cockroach?

I now feel slightly less weird for collecting mouse balls

BT chief says AI could deliver more job cuts, hints at Openreach sell-off

I'm Lovin' IT

Loving the technology advancement challenge of AI. I will be moving from talking to an impenetrable telephone system key pad pressing and shouted instruction maze, which usually drops me into a "silent telephonic abyss", to battling the digital AI GateKeeper for ten minutes+ usually to end up with me demanding to speak to a human after too many turns of a circular argument.

Dante's xth Circle of Hell comes to mind.

'Massive game-changer for UK altnet industry': BT-owned UK comms backbone Openreach hikes prices on FTTP-linked leased line circuits

PFPP

Good old BT, clinging to the Public Finance Private Profit business model.

I have lived here in this house in rural shetland for a decade without a landline. The only alternative is one provider and 3G. I would rather suffer that than pay BT, but I do get pissed off when I here the we cover 95% of the UK mantra. Yes, but not this 5%.

As Amazon pulls union-buster job ads, workers describe a 'Mad Max' atmosphere – unsafe, bullying, abusive

Re: There's a simple solution

I would do this except Australia is miles away on the other side of the world practically. If only there was a simpler solution!

Capita's bespoke British Army recruiting IT cost military 25k applicants after switch-on

Re: When I was young...

Perhaps this ex-officer might like to go forth and inspect a few war memorials and contemplate the quality of those who died.

Giving Money Away

We constantly seem to be able to give loads of money away, but not to the riff raff.

Electric vehicles won't help UK meet emissions targets: Time to get out and walk, warn MPs

Re: Hydrogen? Seriously?

It would never happen twice

Phisher folk reel in Computacenter security vetting mailbox packed with sensitive staff data

Cash

Money may have been part of the decision!

Let 15 July forever be known as P-Day: When UK's smut fans started being asked for their age

Crapita

There's absolutely no need to worry about data security as Capita will probably end up in charge of it.

Bored bloke takes control of British Army 'psyops' unit's Twitter

Join the Professionals, or...

time to call in Capita to rescue the situation?

Trying to log into Office 365 right now? It's a coin flip, says Microsoft: Service goes TITSUP as Azure portal wobbles

while we perform targeted service restarts

The old switch it off and switch it on again gambit

Openreach appoints former TUC head to independent board

What a business model...

...get to use public funds to invest in your network whilst privatising the profits. Why didn't' I think of that?

Customer: BT admitted it had 'mis-sold' me fibre broadband

Spare a thought for those in remote areas, where broadband is still not possible, who are having to use satellite comms. This is not in some remote Colombian jungle, this is in Shetland, a Scottish island. The only way BT is going to invest in better infrastructure here is if the government pays for it, so with BT the investment seems to be nationalised and the profits privatised.

MacBook killer? New Lenovo offering sexed up with XPoint booster

Another One ...

It's amazing the number of (insert Apple product) killers we have had.

Do you remember the iPod killer that was the Zune? That worked out well then!

Amazon files patent for 'Death Star' flying warehouse

Slow fermentation

My cider order is due to be shipped in 1 to 2 months using Prime, but at least it arrives in one piece when it does get here. I wonder if the drones will do the same?

Space crap: Flap, zap or strap? $30k from NASA for your pooper scooper

Fill your pants with a dung beetles, build in a warehouse for the sh*t, something along the lines of Argos. Problem solved, for the back end at least.

Purify the urine and turn it into drinking water. Natural losses reduce the problem over time.

UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Look on the bright side ...

...less dead people!

Fanbois iVaporate: Smallest Apple iPhone queues ever

Re: Maybe some people already own nice headphones or earphones...

Note 7, the phone for people who can't afford iPhones, but can afford fire extinguishers.

Meet DDoSaaS: Distributed Denial of Service-as-a-Service

Oh noooooo!

People will be toasting my bread when I'm not there!

Tesco Mobile does what? Hahahahahahaha. Sorry customers

“leverage our customer experience transformation expertise”

Sorry? I only speak English. You always know when you are in the vicinity of a complete cock when they start any sentence with leverage. He only missed out on the opportunity of using - into the 22nd century - at the end of the sentence.

Crapita are just truly awful.

EU's Paris terror response includes 'virtual currencies' crimp

Petty Cash

No-one has mentioned the petty cash tin!

TalkTalk plays 'no legal obligation' card on encryption – fails to think of the children (read: its customers)

Good old Direct Debit

Another reason why that supposedly safe method of payment, the Direct Debit is a bad idea. Pay by standing order in the UK and you only have to worry about your bank being hacked.