Posts by The Count

Dutch boyband hopes to reverse Brexit through the power of music

Re: Brussels is evil I tell you!

Bar Hamburg!

FTFY

Australia to build a pirate-proof fence: Brace yourselves, Google

I can't wait...

To see the outrage when the Australian population discovers it has been cut off from the Internet that most of the rest of the planet is enjoying. Australia = China South.

NASA's Mars probe InSight really has Mars in sight: It beams back first pic after touchdown

Planting the flag

InSight's first task will be to plant the US flag and claim Mars as US territory.

Russian computer failure on ISS is nothing to worry about – they're just going to turn it off and on again

Re: Which computers is this?

Are you gonna blame autocomplete for "Debisn" instead of "Debian" as well?

Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

Re: At least is isnt oracle or M$

They all retired decades ago my child.

Cisco shoves more GPUs in AI server for deep learning, still doesn't play Crysis

Oh great.... Just what I wanted

The 1970's all over again. Ahhhh! where are my bell bottoms?

Prepare to have your minds blown, storage industry. 5 words: Client access Optane DIMM caching

Re: IO Elimination???

What he's talking about is the idea of writing to RAM like all programs do now along with that memory accessing operation doubling as an IO operation.

Say I have a program written in C. This program uses a memory pointer to write some value to an in-memory data structure. Now if you stop the program and restart it that same data structure now contains the updated value. No POSIX interface, no SCSI layer, no IO stack involved.

5G can help us spy on West Midlands with AI CCTV, giggles UK.gov

Re: "China-style AI-powered CCTV cameras"

Damn, thats the same combination I have on my luggage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6iW-8xPw3k

Dropbox plans to drop encrypted Linux filesystems in November

Dropbox plans to drop encrypted Linux filesystems in November

They "purport" to not hold your password and you believe them? Your such a trusting soul.

Will this biz be poutine up the cash? Hackers demand dosh to not leak stolen patient records

"poutine up the cash?"

I'm convinced there is someone at El Reg whose entire job is just to come up with the worst puns ever. That person needs to be taken out behind the pub and slapped with a rolled copy of Newsweek with Trumps picture on the cover.

AWS Best Practices webinar series: Building security into your environment

Failing at explaination

What the hell is an MSP? I hate people who use abbreviations without properly explaining what they stand for.

Done and dusted? Vast storm gobbles NASA's long-lived Mars robot

Re: Mission at end?

In the immortal words of Walter.

Welcome to the Mars Walmart. Get your shit and get out!

Bad benchmarks bedevil boffins' infosec efforts

Re: Benchmarks Valid?

Can anyone spot the multiple crimes made by this bot against the English language?

We've heard of data gravity – we're just not sure how to defy it yet

The topic or the company

Whenever somebody says data gravity I can't help but think of the startup that was named Data Gravity. Founded by the original founders of EqualLogic.

Quit confusing me!

Weed wish you a merry Christmas: Pot-toting OAPs tell cops 30kg stash is for pressies

Shrooms = Mushrooms = Psilocybin. Great fun to be had by all. Just stay out of New Jersey when doing it.

Re: More than just mince pies

How do you think he got so fat in the first place?

Re: They won't see any jail time.

Have you ever been to Nebraska? Not only is any amount of weed illegal, the general population are some serious hillbillies. Let alone the cops.

How much will Britain's next F-35s cost? Not telling, says MoD

Re: Quantifying Whole Life Cost is not a priority for MoD

TL;DR

Facebook announces ad revenue reroute: When Irish eyes are crying

Notice how they say

That they will only implement this in countries other than the US. Meaning that all US taxable revenue will still be transferred to Ireland.

Why Boston Dynamics' backflipping borg shouldn't scare you

Re: That is the question...

No toast? What are you some kinda communist?

Parity's $280m Ethereum wallet freeze was no accident: It was a hack, claims angry upstart

You had a "dig" about the transactions? If some new hipster lingo you're trying to confuse the rest of us who speak English with?

BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

Re: !!!!!!

Just ask the folks in NYC when the server rooms in the basements of many a building in lower Manhattan flooded back in 2012 during "Super Storm" Sandy.

It was a mess.

WPA2 KRACK attack smacks Wi-Fi security: Fundamental crypto crapto

I'll see your Radius and raise you TACACS+

Google touts Babel Fish-esque in-ear real-time translators. And the usual computer stuff

Given the sick sense of humor at Google you just know that all translations are going to come through in the voice of Arthur Dent.

ISIS and Jack Daniel's: One of these things is not like the other

Re: Be afraid...

Actually if you'd ever been to the south you would know that rednecks drink a lot of whiskey and would therefore immediately recognize a Jack Daniels flag.

Drunk canoeing no longer driving offence in Canada

Re: sounds like a joke but...

Actually in California it is in fact illegal to ride your bicycle on public streets while intoxicated. Friend of mine got charged with this in Laguna Beach.

Quebec takes mature approach to 'grilled cheese' ban

If even the Canadians can do it

Then surely the British can learn to stop saying cheese toasty.Its grilled cheese damn it!

VMware wants security industry to shrink so its ambitions fit into market

Re: Great Metaphor...

Sounds like Microsoft's approach to Windows.

Big Tech fumes over Prez Trump's decision to deport a million kids

Re: "... a more gifted politician..."

If Trump and Pence were somehow to be impeched at the same time that would make Paul Ryan president. Who is himself an incredibily big whack job. You have to go alot farther down the ladder to find someone remotely resembling competence.

Raising minimum wage will raise something else: An army of robots taking away folks' jobs

Re: Yup

I had to stop reading at the part where you said you went to McDonalds. Thats just gross...

Official: Windows for Workstations returns in Fall Creators Update

Already does that

I'm not even running the version you mention and my laptop with 4 phyiscal cores with hyperthreading already shows 8 cores to Windows 10. Old News.

Trump-backed RAISE Act decoded: Points-based immigration, green cards slashed

Re: Another flatulent outburst

Not to mention the fact this bill does not actually require Democratic support in the Senate because the Republicans hold a 52 to 48 seat majority and therefore don't require Dem support to pass bills.

AlphaBay and Hansa: About those dark web marketplaces takedowns

Re: Dunno, but...

As for Spectre, trying the James Bond movie or the old Agent 99 TV show.

They say we're too mean to Microsoft. Well, how about this... Redmond just had a stonking year. And only 8% tax. Whee!

A Stonking Year???

Would you please type in a version of English the rest of the world can understand. What hell is a "stonking year" supposed to mean anyway?

Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos

Wrong Predators

The predators that were introduced into Australia are called The British.

Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Re: No quite wizadry but...

My parents used to make either me or my sister get up and slap the TV whenever the picture became unstable. I don't think that works so well with an HD flat screen.

Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Geddy Lee for high priest!

Libpng library gets fix for truly ancient bug

As a matter of fact

I was coding image processing software in 1995 for the first digital cameras from Apple, Logitec, and Fujitsu.

I didn't write libpng though, so don't blame me.

Igneous ARM CPUs: What if they tossed the blindfold?

The addition of some logic to the drive firmware for interconnection and communication would do what your looking for. May need slightly higher performing CPUs, but it is possible.

Programmer finds way to liberate ransomware'd Google Smart TVs

Re: disaster

Or you could've just plugged the cables back in they way they were. Doh!!

Level 3 celebrates $34bn CenturyLink gobble by blacking out Eastern US

Got that backward do you?

It appears that The Wall Street Journal thinks its the other way around. CenturyLink is buying Level 3.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/centurylink-to-buy-level-3-communications-for-25-billion-1477911639

Somebodies confused.

Colour us shocked: Dell EMC rules converged systems like a boss

Speaking as

A former Equallogic division of Dell employee I can't say that I'm surprised that Compellent is now going to get the EL treatment. Haha. too bad.

Shopkeeper installs forecourt khazi to counter mystery Dublin dung dumper

For those of us

Not steeped in British slang, WTF is a forecourt khazi?

Oracle settles with State of Oregon for US$100m, by locking it in

Re: Angry

What the heck is a DDBB? Did you mean to say database? Because that's what the rest of the world calls them.

If you actually read the article you would see it says $25m which is short for 25 million US dollars. Don't they teach abbreviations in UK schools anymore?

When Irish eyes are filing: Ireland to appeal Europe's $15bn Apple tax claw-back

Ahh, how cute

Little Ireland didn't think the big bad EU wasn't going to be telling them what to do with their sovereignty when they signed up.

Just adorable...

Bloody Dell! Is EMC going to drop its logo? Answers on a postcard to Brentford

No surprise

This should come as no surprise to anyone as EMC will no longer exist as a company. Simply a division of Dell. What other companies do you know of whose divisions have their names on buildings? Its always the parent company. EMC no longer exists.

OpenFlow controller design killing SDN, say network boffins

Don't you just love

Watching the new kids re-learn the lessons of the past? Ah, youth....

Nutanix scoops Cisco. Everyone's really happy ... but Cisco is strangely quiet about it

No doubt Cisco will tell you that this voids all service, support, and warranty agreements. Good luck getting to do that and keep their job.

Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

Re: New Brighton Marine Lake

More importantly what is the CoastGuard doing in a lake?