Posts by agatum

My eyes thank you, Google: Android to get dark mode scheduling in future update

Re: what?

what the literal actual fuck

My thinking exactly.

So, what, google is now evil AND incompetent? We are fucked.

Apple iPhone sales down by double digits, Mac sales knifed by Intel CPU 'constraints'

Let's call it the iPhone XI

That should boost the sales in China. Unless it's shaped like Pooh.

Microsoft yanks the document-destroying Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Re: Apple user here again...

Another macos user here

Third user here. I do not let osx updates anywhere near my production systems (2 laptops, 1 tabletop) before 6 months cool off period. Let the fanbois do the testing.

Re: "Their management needs Linus to give them a lecture about not breaking things."

ALWAYS mistake 'passion' for 'anger' because, to them, it looks the same.

For once I wholeheartedly agree with bob and his signature 'all odd words capitalized' writing style.

Re: @AC But that wouldn't bring three thousand million...

Honestly, what complete moron would think this is an acceptable way to run anything, much less a major computer operating system?

Perhaps the kind of moron who sees the sales figures and goes "oh, look, no matter how much we piss on them they still buy our shit."

If you want change, vote with your wallet, that's the only vote you got. If you can not vote with your wallet, bite the bullet baby.

They will be getting paid ridiculous amounts of money with apparently no responsibility.

Like any run of the mill politician then. At least with these jerks it's the company's money, not public.

Facebook's new always-listening home appliance kit Portal doesn't do Facebook

"Trust us, pleads Zuck"

Go fuck yourself zuck.

Elon Musk, his arch nemesis DeepMind swear off AI weapons

Thousands of researchers sign pledge to not develop lethal AI

And for the rest who did not sign: please at least make the AI kill all humans quickly. I don't deal well with prolonged pain.

UK.gov's long-awaited, lightweight biometrics strategy fails to impress

the government simply reiterated the fact its computers systems do not support the automatic removal of images

Your systems do not support crontabbed rm -rf or slurp equivalent of that? Fuck you.

Facebook's new data centre cooling system takes the heat like Zuck in front of Congress

Market-leading data slurper Facebook

[snicker, giggle]

Be carefull, elreg, fb could start treating you like apple does.

Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

Re: Sigh.

Even a half dead lobotomised monkey from Mars

So there IS life on other planets, I KNEW IT!

Google Pixel 2 XL: Like paying Apple-tier prices then saying, hey, please help yourself to my data

"Oh my, he uses xhamster? Pornhub is way better!"

So what would they [google] use it for? Target advertising I guess.

You guessed right. And when some blackhat gets that data guess what he/she will use it for? Blackmail. Enjoy your new google clusterfuck.

Donald Trump jumps on anti-tech bandwagon, gets everything wrong

Re: brain farts

Trump's arguments that the media is biased against him.

Good. Everybody on this planet should be biased against him. Just watch John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight show and their excellent reporting of trumps batshit crazyness.

Microsoft whips out tool so you can measure Windows 10's data-slurping creepiness

And wouldn't full be better?

Not 'better'. An 'absolute fucking requirement'.

I say "ignore" because it's not really ignoring, that is no longer an option, what I really mean is "frantically getting back to where you were before something bad happens". Whenever I reboot for games now, I literally go make a coffee, then read The Register while waiting for the update prompt - anywhere between a few minutes and a couple of hours, then I can game. Roll on Vulcan already.

I did not realize this. Never mind what I said earlier about updating to w10. No way I let these fuckers ruin even one frame of worldoftanks for me. So it's w7 for me. Games and one client project is the only reason I still occasionally boot to win. Many of the games I already play on mac and as soon as my client sees the light and moves to some sort of nix it's byebye slurp and thanks for all the rotten fish.

"This is all part of our commitment to increase your trust and confidence in our products and services."

After your recent activities my trust is something you'll never get back. Never. If you introduce 'telemetry OFF' -switch AND it is proven by gazillion experts that the switch is indeed working I may update my one win machine to 10.

Death notice: Moore's Law. 19 April 1965 – 2 January 2018

From here on in, we’re going to have to work for it.

No problem here: I started my programming career over 30 years ago when EVERYTHING was scarce, and I still did ok.

Facebook settles landmark revenge porn case with UK teen for undisclosed sum

Cause:

They really are scum.

Effect:

More reasons not to use facebook.

Microsoft wants to patent mind control

Microsoft wants to patent mind control

I have exclusive patent for my mind, includes controlling it. I filed for it some 40+ years ago and got it and its universal. I shall release the patent to public domain upon the moment of my death. Meanwhile, slurp and all the other similar clusterfucks can go **** themselves in the ******* eyesocket.

Germany, France lobby hard for terror-busting encryption backdoors – Europe seems to agree

Re: Please raise your left hand

As I said, it is written in political language. It is a bit like when they [politicians] say "no more taxes".

So like what, "bullshit bullshit bullshit sun is hot bullshit bullshit bullshit"?

Maker I hate that lot.

Re: Just look at where and what the two ministers studied....

p.s. Asimov spoiler alert! I thought Hari Seldon set up the Second Foundation to mitigate against stuff like the Mule?

Spoiler alert! Yes, he did.

You. Apple. Get in here and explain these iOS slowdowns and batteries – US, French govt reps

Re: Who's next then?

My other half has an Android

She/he has an android on a phone manufactured by who? My oneplus5 gets updates all the bloody time, three I can remember during last six months. Last update was from android 7 to 8 (oreo), so my phone gets even major os releases.

Stop us if you've heard this one: Apple's password protection in macOS can be thwarted

Ever since SJ went, in my opinion the quality and feel of Apple went further south.

Agree completely. That guy is absolutely the only corporate exec I will ever truly miss.

Apple sprays down bug-ridden iOS 11 with more fixes

I love Apple.

I loveD Apple.

Re: With an annoying feature.

Can we get a former apply fanboy icon?

I second that motion.

Astroboffins say our Solar System could have – wait, stop, what... the US govt found UFOs?

Re: Alien UFO's are Real - True / False...

Yet not one solid scrap of evidence to show that a god exists.

But it does exist. As anybody who has been truly in pain for long time (mine was thoroughly inflamed colon) knows: god is a painkiller.

White House staffers jabbed with probe over private email use

Re: Am I paranoid?

Who's the imbecile again?

You, it seems. Again.

Your ongoing rants in favour of the tweeting tangerine, the biggest threat to this planet since adolf et al, are mindboggling.

Trump's self-imposed cybersecurity deadline is up: What we got?

Re: STOP THE PRESSES!!!

"Marmalade Mandarin" is my favourite so far.

Good one sure, but I still prefer "Tweeting Tangerine".

Official science we knew all along: Facebook makes you sad :-(

Which in plain English means that overweight people use Facebook more but that Facebook doesn't make you fatter.

I thought it's a fact that depression causes overeating.

Facebook makes you sad > you get depressed > you eat more > you grow, but not in a good way

Windows 10 Creators Update general rollout begins with a privacy dialogue

Re: Where Is My Mind?

We're the lowest of the fucking low, the scum of the earth, the most wretched, servile, miserable, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization.

For the record, I don't think that way, I just pity you. Slurp on the other hand seems to think exactly that.

Reg now behind invisible HTML5 Bitcoin paywall

As I was reading this I actually thought this to be a good idea; I'd gladly give you some of my processor time in exchange for your hard work. And after you mother******* successfully rickrolled me (yes I clicked the 'source code here' link) I still think it's a good idea.

I've never been rickrolled before and years since I was last succesfully april fooled. And now laughing my ass off, thanks el reg. Maybe because of this kind of stuff I keep coming back here, after some 15 years now.

Boffins Rickroll smartphone by tickling its accelerometer

Sympathy

Spoofing such sensors [MEMS] with intentional acoustic interference enables an out-of-spec pathway for attackers to deliver chosen digital values to microprocessors and embedded systems

I sympathize for you, little chips. I mean, I will start behaving out-of-spec (ie. go postal) should someone force me to endure sounds generated by Rick Astley.

Microsoft to close its social network on a week's notice – and SIX people complain

Sadly I do, garbage compared to the competition ...

True. But stellar pieces of privacy respecting software engineering compared to cow urine leaking (more accurately, sprayed upon us) from redmond these days.

The death notice has generated six (6, as in 3+3) comments in the three days since it was posted

Funny, as el regs article has generated more buzz: 7 comments at time of me writing this. Maybe slurp should concentrate on making nice operating systems, like it once used to. Remember xp or 7?

Security slip-ups in 1Password and other password managers 'extremely worrying'

Re: Portable password manager?

Is this a terrible idea?

Not at all. With that system you get insanely long and fairly secure (compared to my regular password 'passwÖrd') password.

Re: Little blue book

keeping them in a filing cabinet at home.

If you do, remember to add the "beware of the leopard" sign.

Baby supernova spotted, just three hours old and a real cutie

Cool!

When I read this article I thought 'cool!'. What a silly thought considering the gazillion kelvins involved.

Grumpy Trump trumped, now he's got the hump: Muslim ban beaten back by appeals court

Re: Shame on you all

One of my spleling check hers wants to change the name to Melanoma.

'spleling check hers' vs 'spelling checkers'

I see what you did there...

Re: Trumped

I might spontaneously orgasm at any time now.

That kind of information on a need to know basis only, thank you.

Florida Man sues Verizon for $72m – for letting him commit identity theft

Re: Nice to see...

Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over.

Now see, that's where you are wrong. I do laugh at you because of that. But then again, I am nobody, so your original statement is actually true. Sorry to have wasted your time, leaving now with a never-to-be-used-again hiking map of pre-brexit UK in the pocket.

Twas the week before Xmas ... not a creature was stirring – except Microsoft admitting its Windows 10 upgrade pop-up went 'too far'

I'm still waiting for the virus that replaces Windows with a linux distribution...

Virus? In my books that would be a cure to a virus. Sort of like antibiotics are for bacterial infections.

Spotty battery life costs Apple's MacBook Pro its gold-star rating

We've asked Apple for comment and a laptop to try our own tests on.

About the oldest joke around here still cracks me up, consistently. Thanks el reg, and merry xmas to all!

'Upset' Linus Torvalds gets sweary and gets results

Gin? Your gonna pour Gin on the sauna oven??

For the love of insert_deity_here do not pour gin on the sauna oven.

Just spill a bit of beer instead, gives a lovely scent. Significant other may shout at you but it's worth it.

Is your Windows 10, 8 PC falling off the 'net? Microsoft doesn't care

If something breaks in Linux due to an update you have so many options to work around, fix or revert. You have no choice with Microsoft other than wait for them to pull their finger out of their ass and get their shit together.

Yes. I've recently had to work with win7 on a customer case and every now and then wlan goes down. Start the 'troubleshooter', watch a few minutes of indefinite 'progressbar' 'progressing' and then eventually a diagnosis: 'something seems to be wrong, can't tell you what, do you want to see an online solution?'

Online solution?

THE FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION IS DOWN!

Hilarious. Connection always comes up though after rebooting.

Re: Stuff like this...

It's 7 till 2020 and after that... see icon

I am already there, it's warm and friendly place to be (mostly). Looking forward to see you here :)

CERT tells Microsoft to keep EMET alive because it's better than Win 10's own security

Win 10's own security

As the guy I buy most of my software from put it: "margins being what they are it's a bliss slurp still makes a product I am able to sell WITH a mandatory f-secure or somesuch product".

Why I just bought a MacBook Air instead of the new Pro

But it has lost the loyalty.

Definitely. When I first saw the pricing for new mbp, see icon. And I am not in UK.

China gets mad at Donald Trump, threatens to ruin Apple

I hope they ban iPhones effective immediately. That would make my life much better.

Huh?

iPhones attack you and demand all your lunch money? You should be able to outrun the little muggers that are the smartphones. If not, ffs, lose some weight.

Trump's plan: Tariffs on electronics, ban on skilled tech migrants, turn off the internet

Trump will be able to go ahead without blocks.

Trump will go ahead with his huge bollocks and as soon (very soon) as his politics starts to burn enough silicon valley and other valley money, he and his huge bollocks will be removed. Worry not.