* Posts by cklammer

14 posts • joined 26 Oct 2015

Tinfoil hat brigade switches brand allegiance to bog paper

cklammer

One shungite for two phones

Make a shungite mobile phone sandwich: stick you shungite plate to the backs of both you phones!

Not only you save 10 quid but everyone you meet will think that you are very happy to meet them as you keep you shungite phone sandwich in your trouser pocket!

;-)

cklammer

Re: grep?

Or awk for the more ... sophisticated ;-)

We live so fast I can't even finish this sent...

cklammer

Dabbsy in a local park on New Year's Day!

Hold on: Dabbsy was in a local public park on New Year's Day!

Is it because:

- he did not party on New Year's Eve?

- he did party too hard on New Year's Eve?

- he celebrated the New Year there?

- he slept there? Did Mrs. Dabbs turf him out of the house?

Two Arkansas dipsticks nicked after allegedly taking turns to shoot each other while wearing bulletproof vests

cklammer

Re: only .22?!?

The one time I used freshly felled pine as a bullet back stop for target practice using .22lr the projectiles penetrated 55-60 cm into the fresh pine wood.

That was a single-shot .22lr rifle with something like a barrel length of 50 cm - 60 cm from 50 m away from target.

Makes you think.

Why are sat-nav walking directions always so hopeless?

cklammer

Pädo

.. is even more attention-grabbing ...

Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

cklammer

Alistair is easy

This article proves one conclusion at least: Alistair is easily and cheaply entertained :-)

Christian

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

cklammer

Unverständnis

Also ich habe nicht ein Wort verstanden :-)

I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

cklammer

Re: Not metric

>> I can spot American writing 1.6km away

> They use miles in the US of A. And Fahrenheit and fluid ounces... other other cool old skool shit.

I am not familiar with medieval measuring units ...

cklammer

I just wrote at work:

"Oracledatenbankclientinstallationdateisystemspeicherumfang".

And the term "handy" for a mobile as it used in Germany was coined by the Saxons: when the Berlin Wall fell, most of them saw a mobile for the first time which they recognized as phone but were missing the phone cable.

So they asked: "Häm die kein Schnur?"

The nuclear launch button won't be pressed by a finger but by a bot

cklammer

Re: I dont trust computers

.. and yet you read Alistair Dabbs El Reg - curious and curiouser :-)

A cardboard desk? I won’t stand for it (actually I will)

cklammer

Squeezzy breasts, hmm? What happened to to good old rubber ducky?

cklammer

Re: Cats 'n boxes.

Halitosis?

Any questions? No, not you again at the back, please God no

cklammer

Incontinent Flyer

Dabbsy wrote: "By preference, I'd be the proud member of an Infrequent Flyer programme."

Are mixing up "infrequent" with "incontinent"?

Image being an incontinent flyer on an intercontinental flight from the UK to Europe :-)

If MR ROBOT was realistic, he’d be in an Iron Maiden t-shirt and SMELL of WEE

cklammer

Re: urine-filled bottles

... Cola bottles are for wimps - real men use open buckets :-)

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