Posts by MCMLXV

A thump with the pointy end of a screwdriver will fix this server! What could possibly go wrong?

Re: 2 years with a dry joint, running an engine testbed

Blackadder, you're hired!

Techie's enthusiasm for decluttering fails to spark joy

Re: Decree

Upvoted, but more for the name than the sentiment.

Yours.

Pip Bin

Help, my IT team has no admin access to their own systems

Downvoted. So the staff at your old work were left hamstrung for a few days while you "tired" to remember. Just to satisfy a grudge. Childish and unprofessional.

Communism never looked so good: China cracks down on pop-up ads

Re: slavery

At least 1,000,000,000 Uyghurs.

You sure about that?

I no longer have a burning hatred for Jewish people, says Googler now suddenly no longer at Google

Re: This is confusing

he should of written

Coherent thought demands coherent expression: "should have". Ditto for all the other semi-literate commentards who do the same.

Go to L: A man of the cloth faces keyboard conundrum

Re: Calling upon a higher power

Not forgetting Rick Stein, the ever-depressing cod-botherer.

University duo thought it would be cool to sneak bad code into Linux as an experiment. Of course, it absolutely backfired

Father Ted

"The money was only resting in my account!"

From Maidenhead to Morocco: In a change to the scheduled programming, we bring you The On Call of Dreams

Re: No thanks

"I watched England play Germany in a Cretan bar"

Did they move the tables to make space?

Windows might have frozen – but at least my feet are toasty

Re: Power supply fan

+1 for "internal immolation"

Dutch officials say Donald Trump really did protect his Twitter account with MAGA2020! password

a US registered account got a login from the Netherlands

Could Gevers perhaps have used Tor with an exit node in the US?

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

@Emir Al Weeq

Kudos for the handle :)

You try writing genuine marketing emails for Viagra ...

No.

Behold, the Ultimately Large Telescope: A revived proposal for a 100-metre liquid-mirror star scanner on the Moon

Re: This is why I like ElReg

"today being quiet and having an abundance of spare time"

Fancy giving me a hand? I'm snowed under!

The power of Bill compels you: A server room possessed by a Microsoft-hating, Linux-loving Demon

Re: lose canon

An incompetent cleric?

IBM ordered to pay £22k to whistleblower and told by judges: Teach your managers what discrimination means

Bloody hell, that mostly makes sense. And no random capitalisations either. You've had your dried frog pills today, haven't you?

would of

Would of have - with that grammar they're better off without you!

Fusion boffins apply plasma know-how to building thrusters

Rubbish video

What a singularly uninformative video. No commentary, nothing. And the music was bloody irritating.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Winking red supergiants sneezing hot gas 650 light years away

Haavaard

+1 for the Tom Lehrer reference :)

Single-line software bug causes fledgling YAM cryptocurrency to implode just two days after launch

Re: Grammar as Intelligence Measure

Totally with you there. His honesty and frankness are commendable, though.

While I'm here:

"That one pisses me off to no end."

Wrap it before you tap it? No, say Linux developers: 'GPL condom' for Nvidia driver is laughed out of the kernel

Re: The Year of Linux on the desktop

The sysadmin workload here is minescule

The spellchecker's workload, however, is slightly greater.

Suspected armed robber’s privacy was not infringed by cops’ specific cellphone tower data slurp, US judge rules

Fourth Amendment

Very interesting article, but this is a UK site. A wee bit of an explanation of what the Fourth Amendment is would have been handy. I had to look it up.

Heir-to-Concorde demo model to debut in October

Re: Can it reduce the time spent at airports

Are you alright? (That wasn't my downvote, btw.)

Barclays Bank appeared to be using the Wayback Machine as a 'CDN' for some Javascript

Re: Once Flash finally dies

"grammer Nazis"

Microsoft takes tweaking tongs to Windows 10's Start Menu once again

Re: Clearly I've missed something but

You have to get multiple ferries to do your shopping?

Australian PM says nation under serious state-run 'cyber attack' – Microsoft, Citrix, Telerik UI bugs 'exploited'

A pedant writes...

"the hoi polloi"

Can't believe I'm responding to a post from amfM 1. First (and likely last) time ever. <pedant>"Hoi" in this context means much the same as "the" in English so "the hoi polloi" is tautological</pedant>.

Somebody buy me a beer whilst I drown my sorrows with a well-overdue dose of Aristophanes. (If you buggers won't, I'll have to schlepp it to ScotMid and get some myself :-) )

NASA scientists mull sending a spacecraft on a 13-year mission to visit Neptune's 'bizarre' moon, Triton

Re: 73 if it takes off on time

Hopefully by then you'll have mastered apostrophes :)

Hayfever in Haymarket, or has Windows sneezed out a BSOD?

Re: Another win for Microsofts reliable OS

"24/7/265"

That sounds about right for Windows...

Splunk to junk masters and slaves once a committee figures out replacements

Re: Let's keep crazy and mad and bonkers and looney etc

inexplicably inextricably.

Saturn's largest satellite, Titan, is drifting away from its planet 100 times faster than previously thought

Occured

Huge downvote, especially since this is a tech site. It's occurred, ffs. I haven't had any coffee yet.

Former Labour deputy leader Harriet Harman calls on UK govt to legally protect data from contact-tracing apps

Re: Oh what a tangled web we weave!

You really didn't need to explain that.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

How about...

An AC above suggested "The Bork Factory". How about shorter and simpler, yet retaining a cheery hint of assimilation: The Bork

Why should the UK pensions watchdog be able to spy on your internet activities? Same reason as the Environment Agency and many more

Hmm...

UK National Authority for Counter Eavesdropping (UKNACE)

I thought counter eavesdropping meant listening in on a customer's conversation with the shop assistant at the till...

Academics: We hate to ask, but could governments kindly refrain from building giant data-slurping, contact-tracing coronavirus monsters?

Upvote. That took me a wee minute to work out :)

Cricket's average-busting mathematician Tony Lewis pulls up stumps

Downvote. That's just offensively cynical. Despite your assertion of "no disregard intended" you've done exactly that. Didn't know the man personally, but given his credentials I'd say it's a fair bet that advertising wasn't a factor in his work.

Lost in translation and adrift in cloud storage

Re: Dictionary?

There are and I have one.

Beelzebub?

Tinfoil hat brigade switches brand allegiance to bog paper

Re: Corona hits 2020 - for german speakers

Horde isn't a verb; it's a noun, as in "Barbarian hordes". Hoard.

I rather like "hamstern" - ta for telling us :)

Huawei to the danger zone: Now Uncle Sam slaps it with 16 charges of racketeering, fraud, money laundering, theft of robot arm and source code

Re: Out of the frying pan into the fire ......

Bloody hell - that nearly made sense!

H0LiCOW: Cosmoboffins still have no idea why universe seems to be expanding more rapidly than expected

Re: The Mad Hatter Principal

Don't fancy going to his college...

'Horndog hackers' have a Wales of a time slinging smut from UK gov Twitter account

AmfM 1?

Is it just me or does that sound a bit like AmanfromMars 1?

Astroboffins baffled as Curiosity rover takes larger gasps of oxygen in Martian summers

Sid Fallowfield

<bumpkin>Of course, the aaanswer lies in the soil...</bumpkin>

Hyphens of mass destruction: When a clumsy finger meant the end for hundreds of jobs

Re: flack is perfectly acceptable

Not to me in this context. Rooted in spelling ignorance.

Perfectly acceptable when talking about Roberta (other Flacks are available).

And don't get me started on underway or (dis)orientated...

Belgian city slurps mobile data to track visitors

She has a sister

And she appears to have been accompanied by her married sister, Mrs. Fanny Grammar-Logic. "...between July and August" is (to my pedantic mind, at least) a slightly unhappy use of "between" and indicates a time interval of exactly zero seconds. Perhaps "...in July and August" instead?

Forgive me: it's been a shit of a day and I'm on my second dram.

Tesla Autopilot crash driver may have been eating a bagel at the time, was lucky not to get schmeared on road

"starts with c..."

This is a tech website, with reasonably intelligent people. Did you really think you had to explain what would otherwise have been a rather good joke?

Here's to beer, without which we'd never have the audacity to Google an error message at 3am

I'm surprised we haven't heard anything from T.F.M. Reader yet :)

Must watch: GE's smart light bulb reset process is a masterpiece... of modern techno-insanity

@jakeisatwat

Ignore The Nazz and the holier-than-thou "Really?" attitude. Wanker. Have an upvote for the splendid handle :)

10 PRINT Memorial in New Hampshire marks the birthplace of BASIC

Re: BBC Basic Bug

"...try it for yourself on an online beeb emulator"

Can't be arsed. What happens?

Astronomer slams sexists trying to tear down black hole researcher's rep

Re: Well maybe these so-called 'scientists' can explain this...

Utterly brilliant - my favourite post in this entire thread (and the humour seems to have been lost on one sad downvoting soul). Wish I could upvote you more.

Hello, tech support? Yes, I've run out of desk... Yes, DESK... space

Eh?

"poise"?

"curser"?